As I watched the world’s best athletes compete in the Olympics last night I began to regret never getting involved in sports growing up. At 5’10 I could have dominated the basketball/volleyball courts. I could have used my backyard swimming pool to hone my backstroke. I could have viewed my bike as more than just a means to get to the nearest ice cream shop.

But, just because I don’t know how to dive off of a really high platform or do flips on some uneven bars doesn’t mean that I, too, am not the best at something. I have some talents too, and they should not be shunned just because I can’t bring them to Beijing.

So, I give you the 5 Sports I Would Win a Gold In (If They Were Included In The Olympics):

1. Cake Eating: With or without hands, I would totally take the cake (Ha!) in this event. I have a big mouth (to the chagrin of my mother and the glee of my men) that allows me to store massive quantities of cake and frosting goodness. I also happen to be able to seriously pack food away (which allowed me to excel in another sport: weight gain), so there is no stopping me in this competition. Read More »

What is it about that gets us off? There are websites 100% dedicated to it!

Does it make them seem more attractive when they’re photographed scarfing down hot dogs and slurping milk shakes? Not really.

Relatable? Likable? Personable? Nah.

Just because Jessica Biel eats a sandwich doesn’t mean I’m her new biggest fan and want her to come over and do my nails.

It’s probably because there’s something vulnerable about being caught in the act of eating. Most of the time, I feel kind of sorry for them, their mouths stretched all ugly and their and faces askew.

Just like watching celebrities fall down and/or trip, there’s simply something human about seeing a Cover Girls and Guys stuffing their perfect, rich faces.

Or how about it being just plain FUNNY? Read More »