[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he's really thinking. So every week we'll be throwing out a topic for debate...and unlike our fave dude, these guys won't be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

There are a lot of important numbers in college girls’ life – phone numbers, street numbers, number of times you been Facebook-tagged in an outfit, number of times you’ve considered dropping out of college, the number of calories in your next late-night study sesh meal. But there’s one number in particular that’s bound to stir up a commotion, whether it’s zero or in the double digits:

The number of people you’ve had sex with.

It seems now that the question isn’t just “Should you tell him your ‘number’?” anymore. It’s “Is the guy entitled to know something as personal as the number of people you’ve bedded”? And even more, “Does it really matter?!”

First and foremost, let’s just go ahead and get the health aspect of disclosing your “number” squared away. Many would argue that the person you’re dating has a right know your “number” as it could be a concern to their sexual health in terms of contracting an STD. I wholeheartedly disagree. The person you’re sleeping with has the right to know if you’re healthy, not how many people you’ve slept with. If they want proof of your sexual health, get tested.

With that said, I believe that your number is a very personal thing and is not something that you should be guilted or cajoled into disclosing. Yes, it’s important because it’s personal, but it’s not something your significant other should take personally. It’s your number and in most cases, it has nothing to do with them.

And that road goes both way, ladies. Read More »

If there’s one way to complicate a friendship, it would be to add sex to the mix. This “hook-up culture,” as it has been so nicely labeled by middle-agers, seems to be the norm on college campuses everywhere. Students are much more likely to have a few drinks and go home with a friend, than go on a “real” dinner-and-a-movie date.

In a way, it kind of makes sense. There aren’t many people that we trust more than our friends, and when you spend a lot of time with a person of the opposite sex, it’s easy to let the hormones kick in and go with the sexy flow. It’s easy to have sex with a friend – someone who may have even picked up on your likes and dislikes from your previous trysts.

With a friend, sex kind of feels natural — something that was “a long time coming.”  And this is the part where I make the blatant statement that everyone with a FWB doesn’t want to admit – believe it or not, having sex with someone on a regular basis, even when you don’t put a “label” on it, is still a relationship.

Maybe not the kind of relationship in which you call each other late and night just to say “I love you,” or the kind where you bring them home to your parents  — but it’s something. You’re still single when you have a FWB, of course, but if sex is happening on a regular basis, your partner deserves the exact same courtesies that a boyfriend or girlfriend would.

I have a rule, and not to push my beliefs onto others, but it’s something that I feel pretty strongly that all people should follow: if you’re having sex with someone, they deserve to know if you start f**king someone else. Read More »

After reading about one CollegeCandy writer’s scary STD experience, I realized that I had not been tested in over 4 years. Before I was having actual sex. It’s not like I never thought about it; it’s just that I never considered myself someone who needed to be tested. Doesn’t make much sense when I say it out loud, but in my head I kept thinking of my former, not sexually active, self, and never thought that I was at risk.

But last week I called my doctor and made an appointment. And every day for the past 7, I have picked up the phone to call my doctor back and cancel. What if I have something? What if I have something serious? What do I do? Do I call all of my previous partners? I mean, it’s been 4 years! Who knows where I got something from and who I passed it onto. And, as embarassing as this is to say, there is one partner in particular in there whose name I do not even know…

But I did not cancel. I acted like the adult that I am and I went to my gyno to get tested. Read More »

[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

Deep inside of my computer, within file upon file, lies a mysteriously lonely Excel spreadsheet titled “Hit List.” This, my friends, is where I keep a list of every single person I’ve hooked up with. I keep it tucked away as far in there as possible so that nobody, especially parents or siblings, can ever find it.

Some may think it ridiculous, other may think it slutty, but I like to think of it as a responsible way to keep track of one’s sexual partners. There are many reasons and methods to keeping a hit list, and, via extensive research in the field, I have gathered the best evidence out there in support of the sExcel spreadsheet (pun intended).

A wholesome feeling of accomplishment: My friend Meegan periodically sneaks a peek at her list as a means to see how far she’s come over the years. Think of it as the trophy case of hook-ups. If you’re like Meegan and can hook-up without getting attached, it can turn into a way to record “achievements.” It almost acts like an addendum to your “Things to Do Before I Graduate” checklist. Live your lifelong dream of banging your GSI? Add that baby to the list, sit back, let out a big sigh, and bask in your accomplishments. Read More »

The days of pure, innocent and hard-to-get women are long gone. At least that’s what a new poll out of the U.K. has found. According to More magazine (the U.K. version, not the one in the U.S. for women over the age of 50), young women are having more sex than men.

Lots more!

Women have more partners, more one night stands and are more willing to talk about it than their male counterparts. That last fact may contribute to some skewed statistics (men may be having lots of sex but just don’t want to talk about it), but the trend highlighted in this poll is definitely right on target.

The modern woman is no longer waiting for her prince to swoop down and give her a happy ending; she is out there getting it (again and again) on her own. We don’t need to be in love to express our sexuality. We don’t need to be married to enjoy the natural, carnal instincts men have been enjoying since the beginning of time.

This poll proves that women are just as sexual of creatures as men, and that we view sex in similar ways. Women are not always out there to “find love” or “get serious”; many of us are out there looking for a little fun.

And it looks like we are finding it. The world of sex and love is changing, and women are coming out on top (pun intended).

Once upon a time, I cared a whole lot about my number of sexual partners. I remember hearing a girl in high school tell me she had slept with 5 people, 5 whole people, and I remember thinking, ‘WHOA!!! What a slut! I’m never going to have sex with that many people! Ever!” But, you see, that was when I was religious and very into the idea of marriage…and the idea of waiting for the ‘right one’.

So, I waited for the right one. Two years later, after we’d finally had sex, I knew he wasn’t really the one for me. It was like pushing the Go button on our sexual relationship facilitated him finally showing me who he really was. I maintained some faith and made another guy who was ‘the one’ wait. He broke up with me the day after I finally slept with him; four months into our relationship.

I started to really doubt there was a ‘ONE’ for me. But I still really wanted sex. I longed for it. I didn’t want to be tangled up in emotions anymore. I didn’t want to be a part of the pursuit of my perfect match anymore. I didn’t want to be in love. I didn’t want any of THAT anymore. I just wanted to still have sex. You know why? Cause I thought sex felt really good. Read More »

At this point in the evolution of American society, it’s pretty much common knowledge that a gross double standard exists between men and women with regards to their respective number of sexual partners.

You know… a guy who sleeps around is a super cool badass, whereas a girl that opens her legs up to all passersby is a dirty slut.

So it should never come as a surprise when surveys get released, such as a recent one released by our own federal government, which claim that men, on average, have at least three more sexual partners over the course of their lifetime than do women.

But according to a recent New York Times article, there’s just one not so minor problem with such surveys. Their results suggest logical impossibilities! According to Cal-Berkley professor David Gale (no, not the same David Gale who was portrayed by Kevin Spacey in 2003, although that’d be pretty ironic), mathematical logic dictates that men and women have to have around the same number of partners, and oddly enough, most sex survey researchers agree with him.

So what gives?

The article gives two possible explanations. One theory has an extraordinary amount of men soliciting prostitutes and regularly schtupping girls in foreign countries, but based solely on conversations that I’ve had on the subject, I’m not sure I buy into this one. Read More »

Just in case you thought that guy was lying when he revealed he had slept with more people than you, a recent study by the federal government shows that men still have more sexual partners than women.

The nationwide survey found “29 percent of American men report having 15 or more female sexual partners in a lifetime, while only 9 percent of women report having sex with 15 or more men”. A rough translation? The average amount of lifetime sexual partners for guys is 7, while the average for women is 4. Read More »