Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: This may sound really dumb, but when my doctor asks me if I’m sexually active, I never know how to answer. Have I had sex before? Yes. Am I having it now? No. (But I wish I were…) When I have it, is it with the same person? No. How do I answer this and, even more, is she judging me when I answer truthfully?

A: I know how confusing that question can be.  I once asked a woman if she was sexually active and she said no. I then discovered she was pregnant and confronted her. She said, “Well, I only have sex five times/week. I don’t think that’s very active.” So yes, the word “active” can be misleading.

When we docs ask if a woman is sexually active, here’s what we’re trying to figure out. Read More »

I like traveling.  It’s pretty sweet.  Not only do you get the experience of having been in another country and surrounded by customs and traditions completely different (sometimes) from your own, but you also get bragging rights (ex: Oh last summer? I was in Malaysia. No big deal.).  Traveling also means you get to “cut loose” as it were.

When else can you justify a massive shopping trip (I can’t find those clothes at home!) followed by a 14-hour bender at the local watering hole?  I mean, I’ve tried it at home before (“staycation” my foot), but my mom ends up getting pretty peeved.

Possibly the most exciting part of traveling is the foreign men…or, at least, men who aren’t from your home state and didn’t live across campus from you sophomore year.  Flirting, tippling some drinks, getting introduced to a new bar scene (oh, the wonders of a bar that I haven’t vommed in yet) are all reasons to gas up and head out.

But sex while traveling? Now that’s a whole other adventure. Read More »

After reading about one CollegeCandy writer’s scary STD experience, I realized that I had not been tested in over 4 years. Before I was having actual sex. It’s not like I never thought about it; it’s just that I never considered myself someone who needed to be tested. Doesn’t make much sense when I say it out loud, but in my head I kept thinking of my former, not sexually active, self, and never thought that I was at risk.

But last week I called my doctor and made an appointment. And every day for the past 7, I have picked up the phone to call my doctor back and cancel. What if I have something? What if I have something serious? What do I do? Do I call all of my previous partners? I mean, it’s been 4 years! Who knows where I got something from and who I passed it onto. And, as embarassing as this is to say, there is one partner in particular in there whose name I do not even know…

But I did not cancel. I acted like the adult that I am and I went to my gyno to get tested. Read More »

This week was full of ups and downs… and we’re not just talking about the stock market. Ayooo! Don’t forget to tip the waitstaff!:

Down: College campuses are breeding grounds for disease.

Up: We found a beer that can cure cancer.

Down: Dudes hate our favorite boots.

Up: We found the best shopping site and we got a hot new bag.

Down: We aren’t sure if we’re sexually active.

Up: We learned how to muster the courage to hop on top.

Down: We sent drunk emails to the boys we love

Up: We found some great makeup to cover up the hangover in the morning.

Down: Middle schoolers have to take the PPSAT.

Up: We aren’t in middle school anymore.

Another up is that it’s Friday and we have a great playlist to dance to and the perfect outfit to wear out to the bar. Things are definitely on the up and up from here on out.

Happy Friday!

[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can't have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley's finest sex columnists, Julia, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday Julia will get your day goin' with a little somethin' somethin' that's on her mind.]

Last week I went to my university’s health center for a birth control pill issue. As soon as Dr. Nancy scurried in with her Lisa Frank name tag and orthopedic shoes, I knew that this was going to be trouble. I answered the routine questions and then braced myself for what was next; the question that every single girl dreads.

“Are you sexually active?” inquired Dr. Nancy with her beady eyes judging my contraceptive-popping self. What the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?

“Well, you see Nance, I did hook up with my ex-hook up two weeks ago but other than that it’s been quite the dry spell…” Nobody really wants to delve into their complicated lust life with a complete stranger.

This got me thinking, how does anybody really know if they are “sexually active”? To me, activity isn’t all-or-nothing; there are several levels to be aware of. Dr. Nancy, for instance, would abide by the criteria of “hyperactivity.” In other words, if you have ever touched a boy or even really thought about it, you are sexually active for the rest of your life and probably well after you’re dead. Read More »

What’s a political campaign without sex? A McCain campaign ad recently accused Obama of trying to pass a bill incorporating sex ed into kindergarten classrooms. Of course, Obama doesn’t even need to utter the “s” word when McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, has the poster family for the need for sex education.

Maybe Palin’s daughter should’ve been given a sex ed lecture in kindergarten. Maybe, in the wake of the Gloucester school girls and celebrity teen momdom, we should consider revamping our sex ed policies, rather than letting Ellen Paige serve as an instructor when Juno comes out on DVD. I took sex ed. And now, I have sex. Sometimes quite freely.

There’s still a lot that I don’t know, and some stuff I know now that I wish I’d learned in sixth grade sex ed class:

-Sex is NOT synonymous with love. It can be, but it isn’t always. Sex is synonymous with physical attraction, hormones, and judgment (note that I didn’t specify “good” or “bad” judgment).

-Sex changes everything. It can burn bridges, create awkward situations, and ruin friendships. However, it can also take a relationship to the next level, or allow you to see your partner in a completely different light. It can be good, it can be bad, but either way, once you’ve crossed that line… there’s no going back. Read More »

In Sex Ed, we had to take “Name that STD” tests. In college, our RA’s handed out “Safe Sex” kits filled with condoms and pamphlets on HPV, the most common sexually transmitted infection. About 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV, with about 6.2 new infections popping up each year. Over 50% of sexually active men and women acquire a genital HPV infection during their lives, and on college campus, the numbers are even higher. If those numbers aren’t enough to encourage you to get the new HPV vaccine, check out the story of Dede, an Indonesian fisherman who just got diagnosed with some pretty serious HPV.

1% of sexually active people break out in genital warts. You might think that number seems low, but are you really willing to play Russian roulette with your vagine? Getting back to Dede, the 35-year-old man has been labeled the “Tree Man,” due to some mysterious lesions on his skin, and root-like growths stemming from his hands and feet. For years, his condition went undiagnosed, until an American doctor discovered that Dede has an HPV infection. Unfortunately for the fisherman, he also has an uncommon immune system defect, so while most people can hide their downstairs bumps, Dede grew severe warts all over his body, causing him to lose his job, his wife, and his self esteem. Read More »

• I’m all for protecting the sexually active…just not for 11 year olds needing to be protected. I don’t think I even knew what sex was when I was 11. (Maine Sunday Telegram)

• “Thomas had entered the store and demanded that employees kneel and bow before him because he was “Almighty God” and the “King of the United States.” King of the United States = God? Amazing. (Daily Freeman)

• It’s 920 calories, 60 grams of fat…and everything I could ever want. And this is just breakfast. (Yahoo!)

• This actually happened at my high school too. Note to pranksters: Never mess with the football field. You’ll always get screwed. (ABC 12)

• Student governments are always as*holes. Especially when it comes to studednts broadcasting homemade porn on campus television. (COED Magazine)

Good news for all of us sexually active birth control laden ladies. Studies show that our trusty BC may now protect against cancer! Just like tofu, but not like tanning beds!

According to the recent British study, which looked at 46,000 women over a 36-year period, taking the pill cut the risk by 12%. A whopping 12%!

Of course, there are the downfalls (there are always the downfalls.) If you take the pill for less than 8 years, you are covered in that measly 12%. If you take it for more than eight years, the study showed that the likelihood of cancer was raised 22%.

While breast cancer was not included in the decreased risk category, bowel, ovarian and uterine cancer was reduced in the ladies taking the pill for less than 8 years.

Finally, just a tiny bit of good news for the large percentage of women that have HPV. If, of course, you didn’t start doing it when you were 15, because a decade of birth control use can double your chances of getting uterine cancer. Read More »