What’s a political campaign without sex? A McCain campaign ad once accused Obama of trying to pass a bill incorporating sex ed into kindergarten classrooms. Of course, Obama doesn’t even need to utter the “s” word when McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, has the poster family for the need for sex education.

Maybe Palin’s daughter should’ve been given a sex ed lecture in kindergarten. Maybe, in the wake of the Gloucester school girls and celebrity teen momdom, we should consider revamping our sex ed policies, rather than letting Ellen Paige serve as an instructor when Juno comes out on DVD. I took sex ed. And now, I have sex. Sometimes quite freely.

There’s still a lot that I don’t know, and some stuff I know now that I wish I’d learned in sixth grade sex ed class:

-Sex is NOT synonymous with love. It can be, but it isn’t always. Sex is synonymous with physical attraction, hormones, and judgment (note that I didn’t specify “good” or “bad” judgment).

-Sex changes everything. It can burn bridges, create awkward situations, and ruin friendships. However, it can also take a relationship to the next level, or allow you to see your partner in a completely different light. It can be good, it can be bad, but either way, once you’ve crossed that line… there’s no going back.

-Sex can be fun. Why don’t they talk about Kama Sutra, tantra, sex toys, or kinky fantasies in sex ed? It’s all “have sex and get pregnant,” or “have sex and get herpes” talk. But if you’re safe and consenting, sex can turn into an amusement park with all of the different rides it has to offer.

-Sex doesn’t always work. There’s sloppy sex. There’s the sex that just isn’t going to end in mutual orgasms. There’s sex that you thought you wanted to have, until it happens. Shake it off — we can’t all be stars in a Brad Pitt love scene.

-Sex can be good for your health. The endorphins released when a female orgasms acts as a powerful painkiller*. Cramping from killer PMS? Mild exercise (like sex) can help ease the pain as well.

-Sexually active does NOT mean slutty (or stupid!). Did you know that women with college degrees are more likely to enjoy giving and receiving oral sex than high school drop outs*? How about that women with PhD’s are twice as likely to seek a one-night-stand than those who stopped at the Bachelors*?

I still feel like I’m coming up short here, ladies. All of our sex ed regimes were different– what did your teachers neglect to inform you during 5th period Health Class?

*Facts courtesy of The Sex E-Zine. Learn all you wanted to know (and a lot you didn’t want to know) about knocking boots here!

[This story was originally posted by Kathryn S.]

Get it? Got it? Good. Want some more? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

There’s a lot more to leading a healthy, sexually active life than just visiting the doctor (though, we’ll talk about that too), so let’s take a look at what we can do to live those sexually healthy lifestyles we’re always told about.

Be honest with yourself and your partner. Are you ready to be having sex? Have you thought about the possible long-term implications and responsibility that comes with being sexually active? The important answer here isn’t just whether it’s yes or no – but it’s that you stay true to whatever that answer is. If being sexually active isn’t in the cards for you at the moment, be honest about it, own it, and don’t ever do anything you don’t think you’re ready to do.

Get on birth control. If and when you decide you’re ready to get naked with another person, you must get yourself on some form of birth control. There is no excuse for not using protection, and unless you’re planning on having a child anytime soon, it’s best to get yourself on birth control stat. If, for some reason, being on hormonal birth control isn’t an option for you, check out responsible alternatives such as condoms (which you should be using with BC anyways), or IUDs. (Editor’s Note: Seriously, ask your doc about an IUD. It’s the best thing I ever did.)

Don’t be afraid to see your doctor. Once you become sexually active, you should be seeing your doctor once a year to receive your annual PAP smear. While the experience might not be the most pleasant, it is incredibly important to have a doctor make sure everything is a-OK. While you’re at it, requesting an STI test is always a good idea. While not all STIs can be tested for during a pelvic exam, your doctor will talk to you about the ones you can be checked for, and gladly oblige to send a few more tests to the lab. Bottom line is that having a healthy vagina is way worth the few moments of discomfort it takes to get it all checked out.

Say no… but only if you want to. In my opinion, one of the most important things about being sexually active is taking pride and being confident in your sexual decisions.  It doesn’t matter if you have sex with three people or 23, what matters is how you feel about your choices. It’s okay to say no, but more importantly, it’s also okay to say yes. Just be safe, be confident, and don’t let another person’s opinions or pressures affect your decisions.

Is it just us or do holidays other than Christmas just not get enough attention? But at CollegeCandy, we shed a light on some of our other favorite things about the holidays: like food. You don’t have to be Jewish to enjoy these delish Hanukkah treats.

Speaking of the holidays, there’s one more coming our way and coming our way quick: New Years Eve. Soon we’ll be embarking on a new year, but first, there are a few things we’d like to leave behind.

I spent the better part of this week slathering Vaseline on my perpetually dry, flaking forehead. I probably should have just checked out this post, which divulges some awesome beauty secrets that withstand the cold weather.

One celeb who doesn’t need fashion or beauty tips is Emma Watson. Trying to cop her look without selling your organs? Check out our guide to copying the look on a college girl budget.

If you plan on having some fun over Winter Break, you’ll need some help navigating the world of watchful parents and frilly pink bedding. Our girls got you covered with a guide to getting it on in your childhood bedroom.

Finals week absolutely sucks, but we can teach you how to make it as bearable as possible. Don’t expect miracles – it’s still not going to be a party, but with these tips, you’ll definitely make it out alive.

Just because the weather outside is blah, your wardrobe doesn’t have to be! Check out our guide to revamping your winter wear, starting with one essential piece: skinny jeans.

Is it actually possible to be friends with benefits with a guy? Is it possible to be friends without benefits? Does the guy who you’ve made your friend with benefits want more? These are the questions that puzzle the CollegeCandy girl. Tuffy Luv has the answers.

Obviously we all want to attend the best school possible, but does it really matter where you went to school in long run? Sound off on this issue – we know where we stand, but we want to hear your take.

I thought I was the only one who cringed at the term sexually active, but it turns out I’m not alone. One of our writes breaks down the term. Check this out and always know exactly how to answer the gyno when she questions you.

“Are you sexually active?” inquired Dr. Nancy with her beady eyes judging my contraceptive-popping self. What the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?

“Well, you see Nance, I did hook up with my ex-hook up two weeks ago but other than that it’s been quite the dry spell…” Nobody really wants to delve into their complicated lust life with a complete stranger.

This got me thinking, how does anybody really know if they are “sexually active”? To me, activity isn’t all-or-nothing; there are several levels to be aware of. Dr. Nancy, for instance, would abide by the criteria of “hyperactivity.” In other words, if you have ever touched a boy or even really thought about it, you are sexually active for the rest of your life and probably well after you’re dead.

Now no offense to my good pal Nance, but I personally prefer to look at sexual activity like geologists study volcanoes. By this definition, an active girl is one that is currently “erupting” or at least hooks up regularly. What constitutes hooking up is up to you and the righteousness of your moral code. What also is up to you is how you define the term “regularly.” For the sake of escaping the scrutinizing eye of a university nurse practitioner or a Catholic priest, you may choose to equate “regularly” with “every day.” That way you can have no qualms with looking into those judging eyes and confidently stating, “No, as a matter of fact, I am not sexually active.”

For those of you that are like me and (sadly) haven’t gotten any in a while, you may fall under the classification of dormant. You have hooked up in historical times, but you are not currently sleeping with anybody. But not to worry ladies, there is always the promise of future sexual eruptions (thanks, Snoop Dogg). Even the experts say, “The eruption that follows long dormancy is violent.” Hey, you may just be the next Mount Saint Helens of the bedroom.

The rest of us fall into the category of extinct. By definition, extinction implies that there is no evidence of any activity within recent memory. Contrary to common belief, however, this group is not just for the virgins. It may also include those that tend to hook up in any sort of intoxicated state, impairing any and every memory of activity.

No matter which category you identify with, the choice is yours and yours alone. And no matter what, don’t let anyone make you feel insecure about your frequency of eruption, not even your own Dr. Nancy…

Likey? Want some more, you saucy vixen? We got it.

No matter how you slice it, visiting the gyno is awkward. Not only do you have to expose yourself in the most unflattering way to your doctor (and the nurse who is required to be in there), but you gotta do it while he or she makes small talk from between your legs.

“How’s your day?”
“How are classes going?”
“How many sexual partners have you had?”

[Cue the look of disappointment and the lecture on safe sex.]

I don’t know about you, but whenever I walk into my gyno’s office I always feel the need to prepare her for what she’s about to see. “Uh, just so you know, it’s winter so, uhhhh, yeah, I haven’t really done much, uhhhh, maintenance down there in, erm, a few months.” She promises me she’s not looking and that she’s seen it all before and then she comes at me with some metal tools, one of which looks eerily similar to that thing you use to clean the toilet. And then it’s done. You put on your pants, she bids you adieu and you’re on your way….with a little less pep in your step than on your way in.

But sometimes things get even weirder (how could they not when you’re spread eagle with your junk in someone’s face?), like my most recent appointment involving a doctor who left me to grab a phone call mid-exam. (Let’s just say it was windy down there.) It was traumatizing, but upon telling my friends the story (who all thought it was just HILARIOUS), I learned that everyone’s had a particularly uncomfortable trip to the gyno. And I wanted to hear them. So this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their most awkward and traumatizing gyno experiences. Hard to believe, but reading these hurts me more than an actual appointment.

Rachael – University of Miami: The first time I went to the gyno, she asked if I was sexually active. I looked at my mom, who I’d said could stay in the room, and the two of us burst out laughing. Obviously, the answer was no.

Brittany – University of Saint Thomas: I suppose my most awkward experience isn’t too brutal. But when the lady held up her metal instrument and said, “OK, I’m goin in” my soul shrunk a size.

Nina – Michigan State University: It was my first time, and she’s like “Are you sexually active?” And for a second, in the process of freaking out, I forgot what that meant. So I said no. It was the shortest gyno visit ever…

Sarabeth – University of Texas: My worst/most awkward gyno experience was my first one. I went to my mom’s doctor, so she felt the need to tag along and go into the room with me, and then when it came time to ask for a prescription of birth control I got lectured about how an unmarried girl such as myself shouldn’t need birth control… FROM THE DOCTOR.

Lauren – University of Michigan: I had extreme stomach pains one day so I went to the health center. The doctor there told me she had to rule out pregnancy and STDs (for a stomachache!?), so she did a pelvic exam on me and gave me an STD test. As I opened the door (which led into the waiting area), she handed me the lab work and said, “OK Lauren, take this gonorrhea test upstairs to the lab and they’ll get back to you.” I looked over and my T.A. was sitting in the waiting room. He waved. I waved. Then I ran away as fast as I could.

Alex – University of South Carolina:  I went for the first time when I was sixteen and she asked me if I was sexually active.  When I said no, she looked up at me from the exam and said, “Honey, maybe you can fool your mother, but I don’t believe that for a second.”  Sad part was, I was telling the truth.

Jessica – Delaware: When I was getting a pelvic exam at Student Health, the gyno decided I would be a good guinea pig for a brand new intern to practice on.  An intern with a shaky hand who had not had much (read: any) experience with a speculum or a vagina before. Needless to say, I walked funny for a couple of days, and not for a good reason.

Leah – Ryerson University: My boyfriend at the time left some marks on my chest after a weekend away and I got very disapproving looks from my doctor when I went in.

Alex – Lakehead University: I find the fact that my doctor delivered me and also does my gyno exams awkward. He’s seen me naked more than I care to think about!

Emmy-Loyola University Chicago: Male gynos just shouldn’t be allowed. Enough said.

Norah – Drake University: Mid-exam, my gyno tells me she hopes her daughter grows up to be a lot like me. It was sweet, but not exactly the best timing…

Sara C – Fordham: I was once told by a gyno that my “vagina doesn’t look pregnant.” Great to know, because (a) vaginas can’t get pregnant, and (b) I could better evaluate the thoroughness of the exam, which is to say not very.

Charlsie – Hollins University: Last time I had a pap smear, the nurse practitioner at my school told me I had herpes. She grabbed a mirror to show me, while I was all up in the stirrups and on the table, and then failed to point out exactly what she was talking about. Her reply was “Well, it was there a minute ago. Now it’s not — but I know you have it.” This was before she tested me or asked me any questions about my sexual history and background. Of course, I was hysterical even though I was about 99.9% sure there was no possible way I would have it. Sure enough, when the test came back — I didn’t have it. However, she called me to tell me about the results and said “Unfortunately, you don’t have herpes.” What kind of doctor wants a patient to have an STD?

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: This may sound really dumb, but when my doctor asks me if I’m sexually active, I never know how to answer. Have I had sex before? Yes. Am I having it now? No. (But I wish I were…) When I have it, is it with the same person? No. How do I answer this and, even more, is she judging me when I answer truthfully?

A: I know how confusing that question can be.  I once asked a woman if she was sexually active and she said no. I then discovered she was pregnant and confronted her. She said, “Well, I only have sex five times/week. I don’t think that’s very active.” So yes, the word “active” can be misleading.

When we docs ask if a woman is sexually active, here’s what we’re trying to figure out.

1. Does this woman need birth control?
2. If this woman is younger than 21, does she need a pap smear?
3. Is this woman at risk of a sexually transmitted infection?
4. Could this woman possibly be pregnant?
5. Is this woman still a virgin?
6. Does this woman engage in risky behaviors, such as having sex simultaneously with multiple partners?

So if your doctor asks you if you are sexually active, the easy answer, in your case, is, “I’ve had sex before with multiple partners, but I’m not currently in a relationship. The last time I had sex was six months ago (or whenever).”  That way, your doctor knows that you need a pap smear, you’re not a virgin, chances are good that you’re not pregnant, you do need to be tested for sexually transmitted infection, and you don’t need birth control right this minute, but you might very soon.

I like traveling.  It’s pretty sweet.  Not only do you get the experience of having been in another country and surrounded by customs and traditions completely different (sometimes) from your own, but you also get bragging rights (ex: Oh last summer? I was in Malaysia. No big deal.).  Traveling also means you get to “cut loose” as it were.

When else can you justify a massive shopping trip (I can’t find those clothes at home!) followed by a 14-hour bender at the local watering hole?  I mean, I’ve tried it at home before (“staycation” my foot), but my mom ends up getting pretty peeved.

Possibly the most exciting part of traveling is the foreign men…or, at least, men who aren’t from your home state and didn’t live across campus from you sophomore year.  Flirting, tippling some drinks, getting introduced to a new bar scene (oh, the wonders of a bar that I haven’t vommed in yet) are all reasons to gas up and head out.

But sex while traveling? Now that’s a whole other adventure.

The Trojan Condom’s Pleasure Survey (oh, you clever condom people) made a list of the most sexually active and most sexually satisfied cities in the US (among other sex-related things, of course).  Top of the list?  Houston and Atlanta for most sexually active.  I guess I can see that…when it gets super hot, I like to take my clothes off (especially ’cause I don’t have AC).  And all bets are off when the clothes come off.

However, I was slightly confused/disappointed by the numbers posted by Trojan.  The national average for the US is 79 times per year. Seventy nine! Uhh…is it me, or does that seem low? I mean, everyone has a dry spell now and then (Editor’s Note: Or always… I don’t wanna talk about it), but don’t we make up for it when we get a ready and willing partner? (Especially during the honeymoon stage when we’re bumpin’ uglies multiple times a day??)  I mean even #1 Houston is only rocking out at 101 times per year, which still seems a bit low.

But not low enough that I don’t plan on visiting…

So it seems a summer road trip (in a car with a big backseat) is in order.  I’ll be making stops at Houston, Atlanta, Washington D.C. (I KNEW politicians liked the sexy time!), and any other city that my car will make it to without imploding.  Who’s in?

After reading about one CollegeCandy writer’s scary STD experience, I realized that I had not been tested in over 4 years. Before I was having actual sex. It’s not like I never thought about it; it’s just that I never considered myself someone who needed to be tested. Doesn’t make much sense when I say it out loud, but in my head I kept thinking of my former, not sexually active, self, and never thought that I was at risk.

But last week I called my doctor and made an appointment. And every day for the past 7, I have picked up the phone to call my doctor back and cancel. What if I have something? What if I have something serious? What do I do? Do I call all of my previous partners? I mean, it’s been 4 years! Who knows where I got something from and who I passed it onto. And, as embarassing as this is to say, there is one partner in particular in there whose name I do not even know…

But I did not cancel. I acted like the adult that I am and I went to my gyno to get tested.

When I went into the office a nurse took me to my room and asked me why I was there. As I walked past older women, moms and very pregnant women, I was embarassed. “I’m here to get an STD test.” She took my blood pressure (which was higher than normal), made me pee in a cup, told me to undress from the waist down, and left the room. Because getting tested for STDs wasn’t enough – I also had to show my very unkempt bikini line to the doc and her assistant.

My doctor came in. “Is there a specific reason you think you need to get tested?” I explained how I read a very scary article (on a very fabulous website!). She looked impressed. And then she got down to business.

“How many sexual partners have you had?”

“Um. 7.” I waited for her to pass judgement.

“Great! Insurance companies do not cover STD testing for anyone who has had less than 5 partners, so good work on those last two.”

Yes, that was an actual conversation. Apparently insurance companies reward the promiscuous; financially, it does not make sense for them to cover all STD testing because they think women with less than 5 partners have a lower chance of being infected. I know I’m just a college student, but doesn’t it take just one partner to get something? Perhaps this is why STDs are spreading so much? Just a thought…

Anyways, the doctor had to go downtown to take some swabs for HPV and gonorrhea, then she took blood for the rest: HIV, syphillis, chlamydia, etc. She asked me if I wanted to get tested for Herpes, explaining that 1 in 4 people have it and the test would not differentiate between genital (and more serious) Herpes, or just a canker sore in my mouth.

“Yes!” I thought to myself. “She’s giving me an out from finding out if I have Herpes!” But I did not let my wussy side take over. I need to know everything. How would I feel if someone passed something onto me that they very well could have prevented?

At the end of my appointment my doctor told me that she thinks I am all clean before she handed me a lollipop (yes, for real). My results will be in on Friday and I am freaking out. But at the same time I feel really good about going. This is something that I needed to do and something that we all need to do. There is a reason STDs affect so many people and it’s because people are spreading them unknowingly.

Knowing is scary, but as sexually active adults, it is our responsibility to know.

Maybe Palin’s daughter should’ve been given a sex ed lecture in kindergarten. Maybe, in the wake of the Gloucester school girls and celebrity teen momdom, we should consider revamping our sex ed policies, rather than letting Ellen Paige serve as an instructor when Juno comes out on DVD. I took sex ed. And now, I have sex. Sometimes quite freely.

There’s still a lot that I don’t know, and some stuff I know now that I wish I’d learned in sixth grade sex ed class:

-Sex is NOT synonymous with love. It can be, but it isn’t always. Sex is synonymous with physical attraction, hormones, and judgment (note that I didn’t specify “good” or “bad” judgment).

-Sex changes everything. It can burn bridges, create awkward situations, and ruin friendships. However, it can also take a relationship to the next level, or allow you to see your partner in a completely different light. It can be good, it can be bad, but either way, once you’ve crossed that line… there’s no going back.

-Sex can be fun. Why don’t they talk about Kama Sutra, tantra, sex toys, or kinky fantasies in sex ed? It’s all “have sex and get pregnant,” or “have sex and get herpes” talk. But if you’re safe and consenting, sex can turn into an amusement park with all of the different rides it has to offer.

-Sex doesn’t always work. There’s sloppy sex. There’s the sex that just isn’t going to end in mutual orgasms. There’s sex that you thought you wanted to have, until it happens. Shake it off — we can’t all be stars in a Brad Pitt love scene.

-Sex can be good for your health. The endorphins released when a female orgasms acts as a powerful painkiller*. Cramping from killer PMS? Mild exercise (like sex) can help ease the pain as well.

-Sexually active does NOT mean slutty (or stupid!). Did you know that women with college degrees are more likely to enjoy giving and receiving oral sex than high school drop outs*? How about that women with PhD’s are twice as likely to seek a one-night-stand than those who stopped at the Bachelors*?

I still feel like I’m coming up short here, ladies. All of our sex ed regimes were different– what did your teachers neglect to inform you during 5th period Health Class?

*Facts courtesy of The Sex E-Zine. Learn all you wanted to know (and a lot you didn’t want to know) about knocking boots here!

• “Thomas had entered the store and demanded that employees kneel and bow before him because he was “Almighty God” and the “King of the United States.” King of the United States = God? Amazing. (Daily Freeman)

• It’s 920 calories, 60 grams of fat…and everything I could ever want. And this is just breakfast. (Yahoo!)

• This actually happened at my high school too. Note to pranksters: Never mess with the football field. You’ll always get screwed. (ABC 12)

• Student governments are always as*holes. Especially when it comes to studednts broadcasting homemade porn on campus television. (COED Magazine)