• Beware the Ides of March: 15 Sh*tty Things That Will Happen To You Today

    Beware the Ides of March: 15 Sh*tty Things That Will Happen To You Today

    It’s March 15th, the anniversary of when Julius Caesar was assassinated. Caesar was betrayed by his friend Marcus Brutus and other conspirators who stabbed him to death. So obviously Julius was having a pretty crap day after that. Bad luck and lame stuff is supposed to occur today according to the tale and Shakespeare’s additional warning. Watch your back, lest these sh*tty things happen to you!

  • We’ve All Been There: Procrastinating

    We’ve All Been There: Procrastinating

    Your 10 page paper on the complete works of Shakespeare is due in less than a week. You vowed to spend all of Sunday at the library working on it, but an impromptu beer pong tournament broke out at your house on Saturday night and you were so busy eating Oreo Cakesters and chugging Vitaminwater that the entire day passed you by.

  • Friday Faves: I’m Not at Oreo!

    Friday Faves: I’m Not at Oreo!

    My friend called me her favorite Oreo. “You know,” she said, “black on the outside, white on the inside.” I stared at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don’t even like Oreos.

  • Overheard: I Think I Look Good in Your Body

    Overheard: I Think I Look Good in Your Body

    (Two guys in class, before lecture starts.)
    Guy 1: My girlfriend broke up with me, and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed.
    Guy 2: Ouch.
    Guy 1: Yeah, I sent them to her dad.

  • Um, Overheard, Okay

    Um, Overheard, Okay

    (Linguistics professor, introducing a grammar topic.)
    Prof: This is grammar. Grammar is not love. It’s sphincter-like.
    (Kid in a class.)
    Guy: Professor, I’m sorry I wasn’t in class last week. I was sick with Hulu.

  • I’m Not an Oreo!

    I’m Not an Oreo!

    My friend called me her favorite Oreo.
    “You know,” she said, “black on the outside, white on the inside.”
    I gaped at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don’t even like Oreos.

  • Overheard: You Should Know This Already

    Overheard: You Should Know This Already

    (Girl, talking to her boyfriend in an apartment hallway.)
    Girl: Put the hat on and turn around. Please?
    Guy: Why?
    Girl: When I can’t see your face, I can fantasize that you’re Mr. Darcy.

  • Good Books That Make You Look Bad

    Good Books That Make You Look Bad

    A trip to the campus bookstore is an exercise in self-assurance. When you spot an intriguing book that you cannot wait to read cover to cover, you may or may not have the cajones to bring it up to the counter. Why, you ask? Hmm, maybe because its entitled The Going Down Guide: Tongue Tips and Oral Techniques for Men and Women!

  • We’ve All Been There: Procrastinating

    We’ve All Been There: Procrastinating

    Your 10 page paper on the complete works of Shakespeare is due in less than a week. You vowed to spend all of Sunday at the library working on it, but an impromptu beer pong tournament broke out at your house on Saturday night and you were so busy eating Oreo Cakesters and chugging Vitaminwater that the entire day passed you by.

  • We’ve All Been There: The All-Nighter

    We’ve All Been There: The All-Nighter

    [It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or…

  • Oh, The People You’ll Meet: The Drama Major

    Oh, The People You’ll Meet: The Drama Major

    You can always tell who in your class is a Drama major. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just a…

  • Grad School: Is it For You?–Check Your Ego at the Door

    Grad School: Is it For You?–Check Your Ego at the Door

    By my senior year of college, I could fly through my assignments and earn A’s on half-asse…

  • Pimpin’ All Over the Presidency: Ludacris vs. Obama

    Pimpin’ All Over the Presidency: Ludacris vs. Obama

    I’m going to say what everyone is thinking. Ludacris is a modern day Shakespeare. Yeah, I said it…

  • I, Slut: Girl-on-Girl Name-Calling

    I, Slut: Girl-on-Girl Name-Calling

    Ladies, gentlemen: I am a slut.
    No two ways around it: I like sex. I like sex with lots of different…

  • Candy Dish: 20 Hottest Young Royals

    Candy Dish: 20 Hottest Young Royals

    Forbes presents the 20 Hottest Young Royals
    Hey, neat: John Mayer and Pete Wentz are BFF
    Who does…

  • Checking Out the Scenery? Be Careful.

    Checking Out the Scenery? Be Careful.

    “There’s a really hot guy in my Shakespeare class,” my girlfriend informed her roommate…