Today carries quite an ominous tone. It’s March 15th, the anniversary of when Julius Caesar was assassinated (which happened in 44 B.C. …I’m an English major so you can do that math on the actual anniversary). Caesar was betrayed by his friend Marcus Brutus and other conspirators who stabbed him to death. So obviously Julius was having a pretty crap day after that. Shakespeare became the guy behind all this superstition when he wrote, “Beware the Ides of March” in his own work, Julius Caesar. Bad luck and lame stuff is supposed to occur today according to the tale and Shakespeare’s warning. Well, I already have a headache, and my DVR didn’t record Modern Family last night, so I am a full supporter of this notion.

Check out some crap things that might just happen to you today if you don’t watch your back for Brutus! Read More »

It’s the start of a new school year and to honor that, we at CollegeCandy are bringing back the fan-favorite series, “We’ve All Been There.”  (We tried to get another national holiday/long weekend for you guys but it’s way harder than we thought so this will have to do.) Every week, Lauren – University of Michigan will comment on the common experiences all college women share – like trying to figure out if that boy is crushin’ too or stupid group projects. Read, relate, cringe and enjoy.

Your 10 page paper on the complete works of Shakespeare is due in less than a week. You vowed to spend all of Sunday at the library working on it, but an impromptu beer pong tournament broke out at your house on Saturday night and you were so busy eating Oreo Cakesters and chugging Vitaminwater that the entire day passed you by. Now it’s crunch time and you have no choice but to bang it out.

You decide not to waste any time, so you skip the long walk to the library and work at home. You tell your roommates not to bother you, lock the door to your room and settle in for some serious paper writing.

Only your desk is really messy. You can’t focus when you don’t even have space to spread out your books. So you clean it. Twenty minutes and a garbage can full of papers later, you decide to take out the trash. But before you do that, you might as well make sure there isn’t anything else that needs to be thrown away. You begin to clean your room. Once it is clean, you tell yourself, you will be able to focus. Read More »

My friend called me her favorite Oreo.

“You know,” she said, “black on the outside, white on the inside.”

I stared at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don’t even like Oreos.

We had just gotten our SAT scores back and I had done really well, surprising even myself at how much knowledge cramming I had retained. But apparently my friend thought scoring well on a standardized test is something that doesn’t fit with the black race. I just changed the subject because I didn’t want to seem touchy or like a drama queen, but instances like these have happened to me so many times. I’m fed up!

Do I get classified as an Oreo because I’m a voracious reader (apparently all those SAT flashcards paid off)? Or because I might seem reserved when you first meet me? Or is because of one of the other billion facets of my personality? Yes, I would seriously contemplate selling my soul to be front and center at a Lil Wayne concert, but I also can’t help but belt out Taylor Swift songs when they come on the radio. Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston both have works on my list of favorite literature, as do Shakespeare and Jodi Picoult. Oh, and if you see me out dancing, I might be bouncing around to the latest hip hop song, but I could just as easily be showing off some complicated salsa step I learned during the two years that I took salsa classes. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get listening.

(Frat guy, at a party.)

Guy: Okay, everyone! Dicks up, boy couch!

(Two guys in class, before lecture starts.)

Guy 1: My girlfriend broke up with me, and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed.

Guy 2: Ouch.

Guy 1: Yeah, I sent them to her dad.

(Girl at a party.)

Girl: C’mon, let’s get out of here!

Guy: We can’t. You’re wasted. Let’s stay here.

Girl: I’m not that drunk. (Passes out into a pile of empties.) Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over to us to put in next week’s post.

(Two guys, in an English class.)

Guy 1: Dude, why are you dressed up?

Guy 2: We’re reading “The Crucible.” It’s about a town that gets rid of all its witches. That’s why I have the hat.

(Guy, singing at a party.)

Guy: Ooh, I get Boggle with help from my friends. Mm, gonna Boggle with help from my friends. Do you neee-eeed any Boggle? I want some Boggle to love.

(English professor, thinking out loud.)

Prof: See, I wouldn’t count myself as a human being until, oh, about 15 or 16. And even that was problematic. Read More »

My friend called me her favorite Oreo.

“You know,” she said, “black on the outside, white on the inside.”

I gaped at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don’t even like Oreos.

We had just gotten our SAT scores back and I had done really well, surprising even myself at how much knowledge cramming I had retained. But apparently my friend thought scoring well on a standardized test is something that doesn’t fit with the black race. I just changed the subject because I didn’t want to seem touchy or like a drama queen, but instances like these have happened to me so many times. I’m fed up!

Do I get classified as an Oreo because I’m a voracious reader (apparently all those SAT flashcards paid off)? Or because I might seem reserved when you first meet me? Or is because of one of the other billion facets of my personality? Yes, I would seriously contemplate selling my soul to be front and center at a Lil Wayne concert, but I also can’t help but belt out Taylor Swift songs when they come on the radio. Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston both have works on my list of favorite literature, as do Shakespeare and Jodi Picoult. Oh, and if you see me out dancing, I might be bouncing around to the latest hip hop song, but I could just as easily be showing off some complicated salsa step I learned during the two years that I took salsa classes. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Girls, watching a performance in a public park.)

Girl 1: So, you know what’s way better than all of us having sex together?

Girl 2: Playing with our fake puppies.

Girl 1: Yup.

(Three girls sitting on futons at a party)

Girl 1: You know “Groundhog Day”?

Girl 2: Wait, that’s the one with the newspaper guy, right? And the sled?

Girl 3: No. No, that’s “Citizen Kane.”

(A guy, talking to a girl in Friendly’s.)

Guy: Listen, I’m chivalrous, but I’m not a martyr. I’m not gonna give you my cherry just because you ask for it. Read More »

A trip to the campus bookstore is an exercise in self-assurance. When you spot an intriguing book that you cannot wait to read cover to cover, you may or may not have the cajones to bring it up to the counter. Why, you ask? Hmm, maybe because its entitled The Going Down Guide: Tongue Tips and Oral Techniques for Men and Women!

Sure, it may be full of exclusive tips that you are dying to learn and try out on your man, but can you really muster the moxie to pay for it along with a bottle of water and box of pens?

“What if the cashier thinks I have an oral-fixation that I need to feed in between classes by learning how to properly fellate a fellow?” The embarrassment would be akin to buying the economy-size box of tampons at the grocery store while still in your PMS PJs.

But, now I wonder: what other hidden treasures can I find in the bookstore that I’m too scared to plunk down the cash for in public?

Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both
What it’s about: So, do you think that by hooking up you’re being sexually empowered and going after what you want for a change? Not so, says Laura Sessions Stepp. She “follows three groups of young women over the course of an academic year to discover what hooking up is all about. She attends class with them, parties with them, and listens to them talk about their sexual encounters – coming away with some enlightening and disturbing insights into sexuality.”

What it tells the cashier: I am sorta slutty and I want to know the repercussions.

Read More »

Your 10 page paper on the complete works of Shakespeare is due in less than a week. You vowed to spend all of Sunday at the library working on it, but an impromptu beer pong tournament broke out at your house on Saturday night and you were so busy eating Oreo Cakesters and chugging Vitaminwater that the entire day passed you by. Now it’s crunch time and you have no choice but to bang it out.

You decide not to waste any time, so you skip the long walk to the library and work at home. You tell your roommates not to bother you, lock the door to your room and settle in for some serious paper writing.

Only your desk is really messy. You can’t focus when you don’t even have space to spread out your books. So you clean it. Twenty minutes and a garbage can full of papers later, you decide to take out the trash. But before you do that, you might as well make sure there isn’t anything else that needs to be thrown away. You begin to clean your room. Once it is clean, you tell yourself, you will be able to focus. Read More »

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share.

No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

There are many moments in a college student’s existence that are shared by other students around the globe, but none more common than the All Nighter.

You know on the first day of class that there will be a 12-page paper due this Friday. You highlighted it, and put it in your planner. But as the weeks went by – and you sorta stopped showing up for class – you kept pushing the paper off. “I’ll start it this weekend,” you tell yourself a week before it’s due.

But the weekend comes, and with it comes an impromptu house party at your place Friday night, a long recap/hangover session on Saturday, a birthday party Saturday night and work on Sunday. No time for a paper.

You assure yourself that you will do it a little each night this week, but it takes you until Wednesday to realize that heading to the library with the girls and a bag of Baked Lays is not the best way to be productive. Read More »