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	<title>CollegeCandy - Life, Love &#38; Style For The College Girl &#187; shakespeare</title>
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		<title>CollegeCandy - Life, Love &#38; Style For The College Girl &#187; shakespeare</title>
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		<title>Beware the Ides of March: 15 Sh*tty Things That Will Happen To You Today</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2012/03/15/beware-the-ides-of-march-15-shtty-things-that-will-happen-to-you-today/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2012/03/15/beware-the-ides-of-march-15-shtty-things-that-will-happen-to-you-today/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Mar 2012 18:00:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Katie Garrity - North Central College</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HaHa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[et tu brute]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ides of march]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[julius caesar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[march 15]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakespeare]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[It's March 15th, the anniversary of when Julius Caesar was assassinated. Caesar was betrayed by his friend Marcus Brutus and other conspirators who stabbed him to death. So obviously Julius was having a pretty crap day after that. Bad luck and lame stuff is supposed to occur today according to the tale and Shakespeare's additional warning. Watch your back, lest these sh*tty things happen to you!<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=154089&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="aligncenter  wp-image-154160" title="shutterstock_84467818" src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/shutterstock_84467818.jpg?w=600&h=336" alt="" width="600" height="336" /></p>
<p>Today carries quite an ominous tone. It&#8217;s March 15th, the anniversary of when Julius Caesar was assassinated (which happened in 44 B.C. &#8230;I&#8217;m an English major so <em>you</em> can do that math on the actual anniversary). Caesar was betrayed by his friend Marcus Brutus and other conspirators who stabbed him to death. So obviously Julius was having a pretty crap day after that. Shakespeare became the guy behind all this superstition when he wrote, &#8220;Beware the Ides of March&#8221; in his own work, <em>Julius Caesar</em>. Bad luck and lame stuff is supposed to occur today according to the tale and Shakespeare&#8217;s warning. Well, I already have a headache, and my DVR didn&#8217;t record Modern Family last night, so I am a full supporter of this notion.</p>
<p>Check out some crap things that might just happen to you today if you don&#8217;t watch your back for Brutus!<span id="more-154089"></span></p>
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Adele and her amazingness is gone.","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march6.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154110,"post_title":"3. You made a texting fail","post_content":"\"Dylan is so hot, but his penis is kind of small.\" Remember that text you meant to send to your BFF, well on March 15th, that text will go right to Dylan because you're an idiot who doesn't double check who you're texting. You'll probably never see Dylan's penis again after he reads that whether you like it or not.","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march11.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154099,"post_title":"4. You spill all over yourself","post_content":"You're driving, talking on the phone, trying to eat a burger, and also slurping down a Shamrock shake. Oh, watch out for that speed bump! Next thing you know, you're covered in shake and sticky all over. Did I mention you were on your way to a dream job interview? ","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march2.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154101,"post_title":"5. Ryan calls and you miss it.","post_content":"Ryan Gosling is trolling the Internet and stumbles upon your Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc. He finds you striking, charming, endearing, and just quite lovely. His people get a hold of your people (mother) and the next thing you know he is calling you, but you're napping. YOU'RE NAPPING, and you miss a call from Ryan Gosling. He doesn't handle rejection well and never calls back. ","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march4.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154113,"post_title":"6. That nerd guy got hot","post_content":"Remember that guy from your Psych 101 class that always liked you and asked you out, but he was kind of on the nerdy side so you turned him down? Well he shows up in your Psych 310 class and he is gorgeous. Those 4 years did him good, and now he wants nothing to do with you. No dice.","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march14.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154102,"post_title":"7. Facebook exposes you","post_content":"Facebook will release all the information that people have always wanted to know: who creeps on who. Facebook users will now know who stalks them and how much. You will then crawl into a hole and never want to surface. (But thankfully, I think we all can admit no one will be safe from this exposure. We're all in this together!)","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march5.png","post_mime_type":"image\/png"},{"ID":154104,"post_title":"8. Your ex got a new girlfriend, and she's hot.","post_content":"Take it from someone who has been down this road. As much as we want to tell ourselves (or our friends tell us) that we're cuter, we might not be. On March 15th, we'll heighten that level of bad luck and say not only is your ex's new GF hot, she is also a noble prize winner and helps orphans in Indonesia. ","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march7.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154105,"post_title":"9. Your boyfriend breaks up with you...","post_content":"...for a horrible reason. Examples of this could include not letting him watch 20 hours of NFL RedZone or giving him too many blow jobs. You're left confused and alone. Happy Ides of March! ","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march8.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154100,"post_title":"10. You get a bad haircut","post_content":"You go to the hairdresser and make sure they know you only want a trim, but for some reason, they hear \"give me the Caesar\" and you walk out of there with hair as short as your father. (Sidenote: This is the most devastating of the 15 for me. More than the Ryan Gosling one, even. My hair is the only thing I care about.)","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march3.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154107,"post_title":"11. Every single one of your favorite TV shows gets canceled","post_content":"Parks and Rec. Glee. How I Met Your Mother. Whatever your cup of tea is when it comes to the boob tube, it's gone. GONE. Your favorite TV shows all got canceled and it's never coming back. Now we'll never know if Quinn died in the car accident or who Ted Mosby's wife is. ","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march9.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154108,"post_title":"12. You run into your parents out at a bar","post_content":"They decided to come down to school and visit you! You're half in the bag and dancing on the bar with a random stranger when you squint your eyes, looking into the crowd, and see your mom and dad grinding on the dance floor. Commence death due to embarrassment. ","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march10.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154111,"post_title":"13. Traffic is everywhere","post_content":"You're already running late and there is bumper to bumper traffic every single place you want to go. Even on side residential streets! Maybe there's a Justin Bieber concert in town or something?","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march12.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154112,"post_title":"14. You're a hot mess and no one tells you","post_content":"One of my biggest fear is having a booger hanging out of my nose and no one telling me. One time I was on a date and the guy had a booger and I just couldn't tell him. I was so grossed out and that was that. Today might be the day where you have a booger and no one tells you. Talk about bad luck.","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march13.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"},{"ID":154119,"post_title":"15. The Internet dies","post_content":"This could possibly be the worst thing that could ever happen to me because the Internet is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Bad luck does not being to describe how I would cope with the loss of the World Wide Web. I shudder at the thought.","post_excerpt":"","guid":"http:\/\/collegecandy.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/march151.jpg","post_mime_type":"image\/jpeg"}]};</script><div class="clear"></div><div id="omgal-col-outer"><div id="omgal-container"><div id="omgal-slide-interstitial"></div><div id="omgal-slides"><div id="omgal-load"><img src="/wp-content/themes/vip/collegecandy/js/assets/ajax_loader.gif?ggnoads"></div><div id="omgal-slides-inner"></div></div><div id="omgal-slide-title"></div><div id="omgal-slide-caption"></div><div id="omgal-slide-credit"></div><div id="omgal-count">initiating the gallery...</div></div></div>
<p><em>Katie is finishing up her undergrad at <a href="http://collegecandy.com/author/katiegarritynorthcentralcollege/" target="_blank">North Central College</a> in Naperville, Illinois. She enjoys wasting hours on <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2011/10/23/why-i-dont-have-a-facebook/" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and tweeting things no one cares about. When asked the question, “Do you do marathons?” She promptly responds, “Of course! Which show?” Follow her <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/katiegarrity">@KatieGarrity</a>! Or read her personal blog where she talks about <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2007/03/29/freaks-do-it-better/" target="_blank">Ryan Gosling</a> and hummus a lot <a href="http://stitched-together.tumblr.com/">here</a>! </em></p>
<p>[Lead image via <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-267988p1.html">PerseoMedusa</a>/Shutterstock]</p>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">katiegarritynorthcentralcollege</media:title>
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		<title>We&#8217;ve All Been There: Procrastinating</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2010/10/04/weve-all-been-there-procrastinating-2/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2010/10/04/weve-all-been-there-procrastinating-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 Oct 2010 21:00:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lauren - University of Michigan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[College]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[HaHa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer pong]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cleaning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college blog]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[college life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[essay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hangover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hungover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life in college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[midterms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastinating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roommates]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakespeare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tiki tuesday]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Your 10 page paper on the complete works of Shakespeare is due in less than a week. You vowed to spend all of Sunday at the library working on it, but an impromptu beer pong tournament broke out at your house on Saturday night and you were so busy eating Oreo Cakesters and chugging Vitaminwater that the entire day passed you by.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=74482&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"><img class="aligncenter" title="procrastinating-young-woman-1" src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/procrastinating-young-woman-1.jpg?w=477&h=318" alt="procrastinating-young-woman-1" width="477" height="318" /></p>
<p><em>It’s the start of a new school year and to honor that, we at CollegeCandy are bringing back the fan-favorite series, “We’ve All Been There.”  (We tried to get another national holiday/long weekend for you guys but it’s way harder than we thought so this will have to do.) Every week, Lauren – University of Michigan will comment on the common experiences all college women share – like <strong><a href="http://collegecandy.com/2010/09/13/72412/">trying to figure out if that boy is crushin’ too</a></strong> or <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2010/09/27/weve-all-been-there-the-group-project/"><strong>stupid group projects</strong></a>. Read, relate, cringe and enjoy.</em></p>
<p><em></em>Your 10 page paper on the complete works of Shakespeare is due in less than a week. You vowed to spend all of Sunday at the library working on it, but an impromptu beer pong tournament broke out at your house on Saturday night and you were so busy eating Oreo Cakesters and chugging <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/06/vitaminwater-introduces-new-low-calorie-variety/">Vitaminwater</a> that the entire day passed you by. Now it’s crunch time and you have no choice but to bang it out.</p>
<p>You decide not to waste any time, so you skip the long walk to the library and work at home. You tell your roommates not to bother you, lock the door to your room and settle in for some serious paper writing.</p>
<p>Only your desk is really messy. You can’t focus when you don’t even have space to spread out your books. So you clean it. Twenty minutes and a garbage can full of papers later, you decide to take out the trash. But before you do that, you might as well make sure there isn’t anything else that needs to be thrown away. You begin to clean your room. Once it is clean, you tell yourself, you will be able to focus. <img title="More..." src="http://collegecandy.wordpress.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif" alt="" /><span id="more-74482"></span></p>
<p>As you pick up the pile of clothes next to your bed, though, you find your camera and are soon sitting on the bed flipping through photos from Saturday night. There are some real doozies on there and you have to share them. It won’t take long to <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/11/de-tagged-does-not-mean-erased/">post them on Facebook</a>, right? You’ll just do that quickly and then get to the paper.</p>
<p>You load the photos online. Then you tag them. Then you caption them. Then you scroll through your newsfeed to see what everyone else is doing as you sit here on this Tiki Tuesday writing a stupid paper. You look through a few friends’ photo albums, you<a href="http://collegecandy.com/2010/08/03/facebook-creepin-a-guide/"> peruse the profile of the cute guy in one of the pictures</a>, you message your friend asking her if he’s single.</p>
<p>“Sh*t,” you think to yourself. “I really have to get started on this paper.” You log off Facebook and prepare yourself to start writing.</p>
<p>But now you are hungry. You really didn’t eat much today, so you run downstairs to grab a bowl of cereal. As you are pouring your Frosted Mini Wheats into the bowl, your roommate walks in. You haven’t seen her all day, so you decide to eat the cereal with her quickly and then get moving on the paper.</p>
<p>Only it isn’t quick. You end up talking about Saturday night, the cute guy you just found on Facebook and what she should wear to the Tiki Tuesday party. Before you know it, you are up in her room rifling through her closet for the perfect “cute but not trying too hard” outfit.</p>
<p>Then you are on her computer looking at all the pictures you just posted.<br />
Then you are helping her clean her room.<br />
Then you are back in the kitchen doing all the dishes in the sink.<br />
Then you are making coffee so you can stay up all night working on this paper.<br />
Then you are looking for any excuse left not to sit down and write the damn thing.</p>
<p>By the time you actually make it back to your room, it is far too late to start writing. So you start rationalizing. “I would only get, like, a paragraph done tonight. And I work better under pressure, anyway. I&#8217;ll just skip lecture tomorrow and work on it then.”</p>
<p>So, you pull on a pair of PJs and head to the living room to <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2010/09/12/jm-your-fall-2010-tv-lineup/">watch some TV with the girls</a>. You still have a few days left until the paper is due. You&#8217;ll work on it tomorrow. Promise.</p>
<p>Yeah, we’ve all been there. In college, there is nothing quite like the last minute.</p>
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			<media:title type="html">Lauren - University of Michigan</media:title>
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		<title>Friday Faves: I’m Not at Oreo!</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2010/09/24/friday-faves-im-not-at-oreo/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2010/09/24/friday-faves-im-not-at-oreo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Sep 2010 15:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>CC Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Beyonce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[black]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jodi picoult]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lil wayne]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oreo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[race]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[salsa dancing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SAT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakespeare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stereotypes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stereotyping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Taylor swift]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toni morrison]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[white]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zora neahle hurston]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[My friend called me her favorite Oreo. “You know," she said, "black on the outside, white on the inside.” I stared at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don't even like Oreos.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=73527&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-73528" title="oreo" src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/oreo.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="308" /></p>
<p>My friend called me her favorite Oreo.</p>
<p>“You know,&#8221; she said, &#8220;black on the outside, white on the inside.”</p>
<p>I stared at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don&#8217;t even <em>like</em> Oreos.</p>
<p>We had just gotten our SAT scores back and I had done really well, surprising even myself at how much <span style="text-decoration:line-through;">knowledge</span> cramming I had retained. But apparently my friend thought scoring well on a standardized test is something that doesn&#8217;t fit with the black race. I just changed the subject because I didn&#8217;t want to seem touchy or like a drama queen, but instances like these have happened to me so many times. I&#8217;m fed up!</p>
<p>Do I get classified as an Oreo because I&#8217;m a <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2010/09/18/saturday-read-the-eternal-ones-by-kirsten-miller/">voracious reader</a> (apparently all those SAT flashcards paid off)? Or because I might seem reserved when you first meet me? Or is because of one of the other billion facets of my personality? Yes, I would seriously contemplate selling my soul to be front and center at a Lil Wayne concert, but I also can&#8217;t help but <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2010/02/01/taylor-swift-is-really-super-totally-overrated/">belt out Taylor Swift songs</a> when they come on the radio. Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston both have works on my list of favorite literature, as do Shakespeare and <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2009/02/25/the-5-questions-we-ask-everyone-jodi-picoult/">Jodi Picoult</a>. Oh, and if you see me out dancing, I might be bouncing around to the latest hip hop song, but I could just as easily be showing off some complicated salsa step I learned during the two years that I took salsa classes. <img title="More..." src="http://collegecandy.wordpress.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif" alt="" /><span id="more-73527"></span></p>
<p>I&#8217;m not meant to be categorized or labeled. Try to put me in a box and I&#8217;ll do my best to claw my way out, because I just don&#8217;t belong in one.</p>
<p>I understand that people use phrases like these to joke around. I do have a sense of humor buried somewhere under the tirades and attempts at being politically correct. Still, the time I was called an Oreo fits in with other times people have acted like I, for some reason, don&#8217;t seem like a member of my race. &#8220;I don&#8217;t think of you as a black person,&#8221; is one I&#8217;ve gotten a few times. And then there&#8217;s the &#8220;you&#8217;re so pretty, you don&#8217;t even look like a black girl!&#8221; Uh, thanks?</p>
<p>I used to stay quiet when people would say things about my race that they thought would boost my ego, as though I should be happy if I didn&#8217;t fit in with black people. Well, my days of avoiding these confrontations are over. My silence insinuates that I agree with the statements people are making, and take pride in the fact that I&#8217;ve got a little &#8220;white&#8221; in me. And I definitely don&#8217;t. I&#8217;m proud of who I am. Even if I could wave a magic wand and change some part of me, it would never be my race.  I wouldn&#8217;t want my skin to be even a smidgen of a shade lighter.</p>
<p>In fact, the only thing I&#8217;d want is <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROjCS9P94aA&amp;feature=related">Beyonce&#8217;s</a> derriere. But who wouldn&#8217;t<em>?</em></p>
<p><em>[This story was originally posted by <a href="http://collegecandy.com/author/zfb836/"><strong>Zahra - Northwestern</strong></a>.]</em></p>
<p><a href="http://collegecandy.com/index.php?s=friday+faves%3A"><strong>Check out more of our favorite posts!</strong></a></p>
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		<title>Overheard: I Think I Look Good in Your Body</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/12/13/overheard-i-think-i-look-good-in-your-body/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2009/12/13/overheard-i-think-i-look-good-in-your-body/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John - UConn</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HaHa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conversations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ex girlfriend]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[secretary]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[(Two guys in class, before lecture starts.)
Guy 1: My girlfriend broke up with me, and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed.
Guy 2: Ouch.
Guy 1: Yeah, I sent them to her dad.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=48484&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"><img class="aligncenter" title="overheard-lead-thumb" src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/overheard-lead-thumb.jpg?w=484&amp;h=290&h=290" alt="overheard-lead-thumb" width="484" height="290" /></p>
<p><em><a href="http://collegecandy.com/2009/12/06/overheard-inappropriate/">Week after week</a> (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them </em><em>in the comments or <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/contact-us">send ‘em over</a>. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get listening.</em></p>
<p><em><strong>(Frat guy, at a party.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: Okay, everyone! Dicks up, boy couch!</p>
<p><em><strong>(Two guys in class, before lecture starts.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy 1: My girlfriend broke up with me, and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed.</p>
<p>Guy 2: Ouch.</p>
<p>Guy 1: Yeah, I sent them to her dad.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Girl at a party.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Girl: C&#8217;mon, let&#8217;s get out of here!</p>
<p>Guy: We can&#8217;t. You&#8217;re wasted. Let&#8217;s stay here.</p>
<p>Girl: I&#8217;m not that drunk. (Passes out into a pile of empties.)<span id="more-48484"></span></p>
<p><em><strong>(Guy, at one end of a long table in a diner.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: Yo, can someone pass me the cat?</p>
<p>Girl: What?</p>
<p>Guy: The jelly. Pass me the jelly.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Guys, studying in the library.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy 1: Shakespeare got to make up whatever words he wanted.</p>
<p>Guy 2: Like &#8220;s***dick.&#8221;</p>
<p>Guy 1: What? No, he didn&#8217;t.</p>
<p>Guy 2: He sure did. Never used it in his plays, though.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Guy, on the phone.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: Guess what? Last night a BJ saved my life.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Girl and guy, in the dining hall.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: Can you get me some soda?</p>
<p>Girl: No. I&#8217;m not your secretary.</p>
<p>Guy: Sure you are. Get me a Coke, titmittens.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Girl and a guy, sitting in Taco Bell.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: You want to have sex after this?</p>
<p>Girl: Nah, I&#8217;m pretty full.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Two guys, sitting on the shuttle bus.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy 1: Hey, excuse me.</p>
<p>Guy 2: Huh?</p>
<p>Guy 1: Our butts just touched. Sorry about that.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Two girls and a guy, talking in the dining hall.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Girl 1: Would you want to be a guy for, like, a day?</p>
<p>Girl 2: I don&#8217;t think so. I wouldn&#8217;t want to feel my genitalia outside of my body.</p>
<p>Guy: You get used to it.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Girl and a guy, reading the newspaper.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Girl: Look. It&#8217;s you. (pointing)</p>
<p>Guy: Not really?</p>
<p>Girl: Yeah, if you were a little five-foot tall Nazi.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Girl, alone at a check-out counter, with a bag of beans.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Girl: I like beans.</p>
<p><span style="font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Consolas,Courier New,Courier;"><br />
</span></span></p>
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			<media:title type="html">John - UConn</media:title>
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		<title>Um, Overheard, Okay</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/04/um-overheard-okay/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/04/um-overheard-okay/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Oct 2009 21:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John - UConn</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HaHa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boffer club]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny conversations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grammar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overheard]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[professor]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[<em><strong>(Linguistics professor, introducing a grammar topic.)</strong></em>
Prof: This is grammar. Grammar is not love. It's sphincter-like.
<em><strong>(Kid in a class.)</strong></em>
Guy: Professor, I'm sorry I wasn't in class last week. I was sick with Hulu.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=42649&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"><img class="aligncenter" title="overheard-lead-thumb" src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/overheard-lead-thumb.jpg?w=484&amp;h=290&h=290" alt="overheard-lead-thumb" width="484" height="290" /></p>
<p><em><a href="http://collegecandy.com/2009/09/27/overheard-crim-pin-bill/">Week after week</a> (after week after week&#8230;), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos&#8217; conversations and share them </em><em>in the comments or <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/contact-us">send ‘em over</a> to us to put in next week&#8217;s post.<br />
</em></p>
<p><em><strong>(Two guys, in an English class.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy 1: Dude, why are you dressed up?</p>
<p>Guy 2: We&#8217;re reading &#8220;The Crucible.&#8221; It&#8217;s about a town that gets rid of all its witches. That&#8217;s why I have the hat.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Guy, singing at a party.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: Ooh, I get Boggle with help from my friends. Mm, gonna Boggle with help from my friends. Do you neee-eeed any Boggle? I want some Boggle to love.</p>
<p><em><strong>(English professor, thinking out loud.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Prof: See, I wouldn&#8217;t count myself as a human being until, oh, about 15 or 16. And even that was problematic.<span id="more-42649"></span></p>
<p><em><strong>(Girl, watching a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9WI4iI8J-M">boffer club</a> practice.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Girl: I&#8217;m afraid that if I went over and talked to them, I&#8217;d just fall in love with how stupid and terrible and depressing they all are.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Girl and guy talking on the street.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: Ugh, my phone&#8217;s dead.</p>
<p>Girl: Did you hook up with someone last night?</p>
<p><em><strong>(Girl, smoking outside a dorm.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Girl: Bo ho ho! Bwo ho ho ho! I&#8217;m Princess Leia, and I <em>loooove</em> sour cream!</p>
<p><em><strong>(Two guys, in a newspaper office.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy 1: Hey, did you make some coffee?</p>
<p>Guy 2: Yes. Don&#8217;t take any, or you&#8217;re fired.</p>
<p>Guy 1: I already had some, actually.</p>
<p>Guy 2: You&#8217;re fired. Wait, when did it start raining? That was you. You&#8217;re fired again.</p>
<p><em><strong>(People in a Shakespeare class.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Prof: What is everyone&#8217;s favorite Shakespeare play, anyway?</p>
<p>Student 1:  Romeo and Juliet.</p>
<p>Student 2: I guess&#8230; Romeo and Juliet.</p>
<p>Student 3: Romeo and Juliet.</p>
<p>Student 4: I like a lot of them, but I&#8217;d have to say Romeo and Juliet is my favorite.</p>
<p>Student 5: Romeo and Juliet &#8211; it&#8217;s just so <em>unique</em>!</p>
<p><em><strong>(Linguistics professor, introducing a grammar topic.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Prof: This is grammar. Grammar is not love. It&#8217;s sphincter-like.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Kid in a class.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: Professor, I&#8217;m sorry I wasn&#8217;t in class last week. I was sick with Hulu.</p>
<p><em><strong>(Two guys, talking outside the Student Union.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy 1: I&#8217;m going to D.C. this weekend.</p>
<p>Guy 2: Oh man! Visiting your girlfriend? Dude, invite me. I love your girlfriend.</p>
<p>Guy 1: Uh, okay -</p>
<p>Guy 2: She&#8217;s so awesome! Man, why doesn&#8217;t she spend more time up here?</p>
<p>Guy 1: Um. Okay.</p>
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			<media:title type="html">John - UConn</media:title>
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		<title>I&#8217;m Not an Oreo!</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/09/15/lh-im-not-an-oreo/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2009/09/15/lh-im-not-an-oreo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Zahra- Northwestern University</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Beyonce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[black]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jodi picoult]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lil wayne]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oreo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[race]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[salsa dancing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SAT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakespeare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stereotypes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stereotyping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Taylor swift]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toni morrison]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[white]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zora neahle hurston]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[My friend called me her favorite Oreo.
“You know," she said, "black on the outside, white on the inside.” 
I gaped at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don't even like Oreos. <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=39141&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-40762" title="oreo" src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/oreo.jpg" alt="oreo" width="331" height="331" />My friend called me her favorite Oreo.</p>
<p>“You know,&#8221; she said, &#8220;black on the outside, white on the inside.”</p>
<p>I gaped at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don&#8217;t even <em>like</em> Oreos.</p>
<p>We had just gotten our SAT scores back and I had done really well, surprising even myself at how much <span style="text-decoration:line-through;">knowledge</span> cramming I had retained. But apparently my friend thought scoring well on a standardized test is something that doesn&#8217;t fit with the black race. I just changed the subject because I didn&#8217;t want to seem touchy or like a drama queen, but instances like these have happened to me so many times. I&#8217;m fed up!</p>
<p>Do I get classified as an Oreo because I&#8217;m a voracious reader (apparently all those SAT flashcards paid off)? Or because I might seem reserved when you first meet me? Or is because of one of the other billion facets of my personality? Yes, I would seriously contemplate selling my soul to be front and center at a Lil Wayne concert, but I also can&#8217;t help but belt out Taylor Swift songs when they come on the radio. Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston both have works on my list of favorite literature, as do Shakespeare and <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2009/02/25/the-5-questions-we-ask-everyone-jodi-picoult/">Jodi Picoult</a>. Oh, and if you see me out dancing, I might be bouncing around to the latest hip hop song, but I could just as easily be showing off some complicated salsa step I learned during the two years that I took salsa classes. <span id="more-39141"></span></p>
<p>I&#8217;m not meant to be categorized or labeled. Try to put me in a box and I&#8217;ll do my best to claw my way out, because I just don&#8217;t belong in one.</p>
<p>I understand that people use phrases like these to joke around. I do have a sense of humor buried somewhere under the tirades and attempts at being politically correct. Still, the time I was called an Oreo fits in with other times people have acted like I, for some reason, don&#8217;t seem like a member of my race. &#8220;I don&#8217;t think of you as a black person,&#8221; is one I&#8217;ve gotten a few times. And then there&#8217;s the &#8220;you&#8217;re so pretty, you don&#8217;t even look like a black girl!&#8221; Uh, thanks?</p>
<p>I used to stay quiet when people would say things about my race that they thought would boost my ego, as though I should be happy if I didn&#8217;t fit in with black people. Well, my days of avoiding these confrontations are over. My silence insinuates that I agree with the statements people are making, and take pride in the fact that I&#8217;ve got a little &#8220;white&#8221; in me. And I definitely don&#8217;t. I&#8217;m proud of who I am. Even if I could wave a magic wand and change some part of me, it would never be my race.  I wouldn&#8217;t want my skin to be even a smidgen of a shade lighter.</p>
<p>In fact, the only thing I&#8217;d want is <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROjCS9P94aA&amp;feature=related">Beyonce&#8217;s</a> derriere. But who wouldn&#8217;t<em>?</em></p>
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			<media:title type="html">Zahra- Northwestern University</media:title>
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		<title>Overheard: You Should Know This Already</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/28/overheard-you-should-know-this-already/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/28/overheard-you-should-know-this-already/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 28 Jun 2009 21:00:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John - UConn</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HaHa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bill nye]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[movies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overheard]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parking]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[(Girl, talking to her boyfriend in an apartment hallway.)
Girl: Put the hat on and turn around. Please?
Guy: Why?
Girl: When I can't see your face, I can fantasize that you're Mr. Darcy.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=33033&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"><img class="size-full wp-image-24583 aligncenter" title="overheard-lead-thumb" src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/overheard-lead-thumb.jpg" alt="overheard-lead-thumb" width="484" height="290" /></p>
<p style="text-align:left;"><em>[<a href="http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/07/overheard-textual-abuse/">Every week</a>, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!</em><em>Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/contact-us">send ‘em over</a>!]</em></p>
<p><strong><em>(Girls, watching a performance in a public park.)</em></strong></p>
<p>Girl 1: So, you know what&#8217;s way better than all of us having sex together?</p>
<p>Girl 2: Playing with our fake puppies.</p>
<p>Girl 1: Yup.</p>
<p><strong><em>(Three girls sitting on futons at a party)</em></strong></p>
<p>Girl 1: You know &#8220;Groundhog Day&#8221;?</p>
<p>Girl 2: Wait, that&#8217;s the one with the newspaper guy, right? And the sled?</p>
<p>Girl 3: No. No, that&#8217;s &#8220;Citizen Kane.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong><em>(A guy, talking to a girl in Friendly&#8217;s.)</em></strong></p>
<p>Guy: Listen, I&#8217;m chivalrous, but I&#8217;m not a martyr. I&#8217;m not gonna give you my cherry just because you ask for it.<span id="more-33033"></span></p>
<p><strong><em>(Girl, talking to her boyfriend in an apartment hallway.)</em></strong></p>
<p>Girl: Put the hat on and turn around. Please?</p>
<p>Guy: Why?</p>
<p>Girl: When I can&#8217;t see your face, I can fantasize that you&#8217;re Mr. Darcy.</p>
<p><strong><em>(A woman, yelling from behind a McDonald&#8217;s counter)</em></strong></p>
<p>Woman: Okay, boy! We are going <em>nowhere</em> until you give me my <em>money</em>!</p>
<p>Young boy: It&#8217;s not about money! It&#8217;s about my pride!</p>
<p><strong>(<em>Two guys, sitting in some athletic bleachers.)</em></strong></p>
<p>Guy 1: I can&#8217;t go, I&#8217;ve gotta show up at my sister&#8217;s graduation.</p>
<p>Guy 2: Oh. Yeah, me too. Well, I have to go to my sisters &#8220;fail-to-graduate-then-lock-herself-in-her-room-screaming-and-eating-Cheezits-until-we-buy-her-a-new-puppy.&#8221; We had one last year.</p>
<p><strong><em>(Three guys, arguing loudly in a pizza restaurant.)</em></strong></p>
<p>Guy 1: Genghis Khan.</p>
<p>Guy 2: Teddy Roosevelt.</p>
<p>Guy 3: Patton.</p>
<p>Guy 2: Uh, Nikola Tesla.</p>
<p>Guy 1: Abraham Lincoln?</p>
<p>Guy 3: Bill Nye the Science Guy.</p>
<p><em>(pause)</em></p>
<p>Guy 1: Fine. You win.</p>
<p><strong><em>(Two girls talking from the other side of a gas pump.)</em></strong></p>
<p>Girl: You know, I feel like everyone I see at a gas station is a hooker.</p>
<p><strong><em>(Guy, pulling up to the sidewalk in a pickup truck.)</em></strong></p>
<p>Guy: Man, what are you doing? Get in here, dude, we&#8217;re hitting up the Timex museum!</p>
<p><em><strong>(Guy and a girl, walking down a busy main road.)</strong></em></p>
<p>Guy: Wait, it&#8217;s called &#8220;All&#8217;s Well That Ends Well&#8221;?</p>
<p>Girl: It&#8217;s Shakespeare!</p>
<p>Guy: Bulls***. What, did he write &#8220;Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Street&#8221; too?</p>
<p><strong><em>(Guy, standing in front of a mall parking lot, on a cell phone.)</em></strong></p>
<p>Guy: I&#8217;m in the parking garage. No, the <em>parking garage &#8230; </em>! How stupid are you? Come on!</p>
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			<media:title type="html">John - UConn</media:title>
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		<title>Good Books That Make You Look Bad</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/05/16/great-books-you-dont-want-anyone-to-know-youre-reading/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2009/05/16/great-books-you-dont-want-anyone-to-know-youre-reading/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 May 2009 15:30:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kayla - California State University, Sacramento</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cool Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barnes and noble]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[book review]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[books]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[A trip to the campus bookstore is an exercise in self-assurance. When you spot an intriguing book that you cannot wait to read cover to cover, you may or may not have the cajones to bring it up to the counter. Why, you ask? Hmm, maybe because its entitled The Going Down Guide: Tongue Tips and Oral Techniques for Men and Women!<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=27347&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51yyajSdDXL._SL500_AA240_.jpg" alt="book" width="267" height="267" />A trip to the campus bookstore is an exercise in self-assurance. When you spot an intriguing book that you cannot wait to read cover to cover, you may or may not have the cajones to bring it up to the counter. Why, you ask? Hmm, maybe because its entitled <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Going-Down-Guide-Tongue-Techniques/dp/0312384742">The Going Down Guide: Tongue Tips and Oral Techniques for Men and Women</a>!</p>
<p>Sure, it may be full of exclusive tips that you are <em>dying</em> to learn and try out on your man, but can you really muster the moxie to pay for it along with a bottle of water and box of pens?</p>
<p>&#8220;What if the cashier thinks I have an oral-fixation that I need to feed in between classes by learning how to properly fellate a fellow?&#8221; The embarrassment would be akin to buying the economy-size box of tampons at the grocery store while still in your PMS PJs.</p>
<p>But, now I wonder: what other hidden treasures can I find in the bookstore that I&#8217;m too scared to plunk down the cash for in public?</p>
<p style="text-align:left;"><strong><a href="http://www.laurastepp.com/">Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both</a></strong><br />
<em>What it&#8217;s about: </em>So, do you think that by hooking up you&#8217;re being sexually empowered and going after what <em>you</em> want for a change? Not so, says Laura Sessions Stepp. She &#8220;follows three groups of young women over the course of an academic year to discover what hooking up is all about. She attends class with them, parties with them, and listens to them talk about their sexual encounters &#8211; coming away with some enlightening and disturbing insights into sexuality.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align:left;"><em>What it tells the cashier:</em> I am sorta slutty and I want to know the repercussions.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Heiress-Tongue-Chic-Behind/dp/0743266641"><span id="more-27347"></span></a><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Heiress-Tongue-Chic-Behind/dp/0743266641">Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue in Chic Peek Behind the Pose</a></strong> and <strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/That-Extra-Half-Inch-Everything/dp/0061544493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1239909414&amp;sr=1-1">That Extra Half an Inch: Hair, Heels and Everything in Between</a></strong><em><br />
What They&#8217;re About: </em>This is a two-fer because either of these books would make me feel like a chihuahua carrying, air-headed attention whore&#8230; with really cute shoes. However, Paris Hilton&#8217;s <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Heiress-Tongue-Chic-Behind/dp/0743266641">Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue in Chic Peek Behind the Pose</a> lures me in with it&#8217;s sparkly cover, clever title pun and full-page, colored pictures. Unfortunately, much like the author herself, this book is really pretty on the outside, but lacks any substance on the inside. A similar book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/That-Extra-Half-Inch-Everything/dp/0061544493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1239909414&amp;sr=1-1">That Extra Half an Inch: Hair, Heels and Everything in Between</a>, is Mrs. David Beckham&#8217;s attempt at literature. It has tips on how to wear your LBD, find awesome bargains and gives you space to make notes about your favorite fashion tricks. It&#8217;s a pretty hefty book for the price and I&#8217;d wager the spine is thicker than Vickie&#8217;s waist.</p>
<p><em>What it tells the cashier:</em> I&#8217;m a moron with a really great closet.</p>
<p><strong></strong><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Die-Happy-Things-Every-Gotta/dp/031235620X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1239910244&amp;sr=1-1">Die Happy: 499 Thing&#8217;s Every Guy&#8217;s Gotta Do While He Still Can</a></strong><em><br />
What it&#8217;s about: </em>A what-to-do guide written for men, by men, that gives great insight into what these crazy creatures really want in life. While my Bucket List contains dreams of visting Paris, getting a Masters degree and celebrating New Years in Times Square, this book reveals that guys&#8217; dreams top out at swimming with sharks, taking a job as a cab driver and playing drunk golf. A funny read and peek inside the male mind, this book makes me feel a little like a dirty voyeur&#8230;and I kinda like it.</p>
<p><em>What it tells the cashier</em>: I&#8217;m a dirty voyeur&#8230; and also slighty weird for wanting to delve this deeply into the male mind.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Filthy-Shakespeare-Shakespeares-Outrageous-Sexual/dp/B0014E92O6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1239910638&amp;sr=1-1">Filthy Shakespeare: Shakespeare&#8217;s Most Outrageous Sexual Puns</a></strong><br />
<em>What it&#8217;s about: </em>Desperate to develop an interest in Shakespeare so you aren&#8217;t bored to death during that section in Lit?  This is a book for the easily distracted student whose dirty mind reads too deep into a silly coincidence. Who knew that Shakespeare wanted the word &#8220;all&#8221; to be pronounced like &#8220;hole&#8221; and the word &#8220;wit&#8221; was meant to represent the vajay. Naughty, Willy!</p>
<p><em>What it tells the cashier</em>: I think the word Willy is funny. Tee hee.<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lick-My-Cheese-Roommate-Frontlines/dp/0810983621/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1239911053&amp;sr=1-1"></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">
<p><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lick-My-Cheese-Roommate-Frontlines/dp/0810983621/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1239911053&amp;sr=1-1">I Lick My Cheese</a></strong><br />
<em>What it&#8217;s about:</em> If you live with filthy, annoying roommates, then this book is right up your alley! It may just be a picture book, but its compilation of photos of notes left by roomies that will have you laughing in the aisles. Sure, it&#8217;s not a book of merit where you&#8217;re going to learn anything useful or look like a studious co-ed, but who doesn&#8217;t love reading notes about poop in an unflushed toilet?</p>
<p><em>What it tells the cashier: </em>My mom gave me money to buy books and I&#8217;m buying a picture book. About poop.</p>
<p>So maybe these books will make you blush when you decide to have the cashier ring them up, but they may also provide hours of entertainment. If your brain is tired of slogging through chapters on the Great Depression, maybe its time for a little hilarity.</p>
<p>And you can always order them online, or just try to do what I do: grab one of these books, pull your hoodie down over your eyes, throw cash at the counter and run away screaming.</p>
<p>Hey, don&#8217;t judge me!</p>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">Kayla - California State University, Sacramento</media:title>
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		<title>We&#8217;ve All Been There: Procrastinating</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/21/weve-all-been-there-procrastinating/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/21/weve-all-been-there-procrastinating/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:00:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lauren - University of Michigan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HaHa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer pong]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cleaning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college experience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[essay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hangover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hungover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life in college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastinating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roommates]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakespeare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tiki tuesday]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Your 10 page paper on the complete works of Shakespeare is due in less than a week. You vowed to spend all of Sunday at the library working on it, but an impromptu beer pong tournament broke out at your house on Saturday night and you were so busy eating Oreo Cakesters and chugging Vitaminwater that the entire day passed you by. <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=27780&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"><img class="size-large wp-image-27781 aligncenter" title="procrastinating-young-woman-1" src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/procrastinating-young-woman-1.jpg?w=477&h=318" alt="procrastinating-young-woman-1" width="477" height="318" /></p>
<p style="text-align:left;">Your 10 page paper on the complete works of Shakespeare is due in less than a week. You vowed to spend all of Sunday at the library working on it, but an impromptu beer pong tournament broke out at your house on Saturday night and you were so busy eating Oreo Cakesters and chugging <a href="http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/06/vitaminwater-introduces-new-low-calorie-variety/">Vitaminwater</a> that the entire day passed you by. Now it’s crunch time and you have no choice but to bang it out.</p>
<p>You decide not to waste any time, so you skip the long walk to the library and work at home. You tell your roommates not to bother you, lock the door to your room and settle in for some serious paper writing.</p>
<p>Only your desk is really messy. You can’t focus when you don’t even have space to spread out your books. So you clean it. Twenty minutes and a garbage can full of papers later, you decide to take out the trash. But before you do that, you might as well make sure there isn’t anything else that needs to be thrown away. You begin to clean your room. Once it is clean, you tell yourself, you will be able to focus. <span id="more-27780"></span></p>
<p>As you pick up the pile of clothes next to your bed, though, you find your camera and are soon sitting on the bed flipping through photos from Saturday night. There are some real doozies on there and you have to share them. It won’t take long to post them on Facebook, right? You’ll just do that quickly and then get to the paper.</p>
<p>You load the photos online. Then you tag them. Then you caption them. Then you scroll through your newsfeed to see what everyone else is doing as you sit here on this Tiki Tuesday writing a stupid paper. You look through a few friends’ photo albums, you peruse the profile of the cute guy in one of the pictures, you message your friend asking her if he’s single.</p>
<p>“Sh*t,” you think to yourself. “I really have to get started on this paper.” You log off Facebook and prepare yourself to start writing.</p>
<p>But now you are hungry. You really didn’t eat much today, so you run downstairs to grab a bowl of cereal. As you are pouring your Frosted Mini Wheats into the bowl, your roommate walks in. You haven’t seen her all day, so you decide to eat the cereal with her quickly and then get moving on the paper.</p>
<p>Only it isn’t quick. You end up talking about Saturday night, the cute guy you just found on Facebook and what she should wear to the Tiki Tuesday party. Before you know it, you are up in her room rifling through her closet for the perfect “cute but not trying too hard” outfit.</p>
<p>Then you are on her computer looking at all the pictures you just posted.<br />
Then you are helping her clean her room.<br />
Then you are back in the kitchen doing all the dishes in the sink.<br />
Then you are making coffee so you can stay up all night working on this paper.<br />
Then you are looking for any excuse left not to sit down and write the damn thing.</p>
<p>By the time you actually make it back to your room, it is far too late to start writing. So you start rationalizing. “I would only get, like, a paragraph done tonight. And I work better under pressure, anyway. I&#8217;ll just skip lecture tomorrow and work on it then.”</p>
<p>So, you pull on apair of PJs and head to the living room to watch some TV with the girls. You still have a few days left until the paper is due. You&#8217;ll work on it tomorrow. Promise.</p>
<p>Yeah, we’ve all been there. In college, there is nothing quite like the last minute.</p>
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		<slash:comments>16</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">Lauren - University of Michigan</media:title>
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		<title>We&#8217;ve All Been There: The All-Nighter</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/02/03/weve-all-been-there-the-all-nighter/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2009/02/03/weve-all-been-there-the-all-nighter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:39:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lauren - University of Michigan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HaHa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[all nighter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer pong]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[caffeine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college all nighter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college experience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[common college experience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gpa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grades]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[house party]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[last minute]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[library]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[office hours]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastinate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[professor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[red bull]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakespeare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[skip class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[snickers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thirsty thursday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[will i am]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"></p>
<p>[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share.</p>
<p>No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/haha/16014">we’ve all been there before</a>.]</p>
<p>There are many moments in a college student’s &#8230;</p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=16526&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"><img src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/03/all-nighter.jpg" alt="all-nighter.jpg" /></p>
<p><em>[I</em><em>t doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share.</em></p>
<p><em>No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. </em><em>So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/haha/16014">we’ve all been there before</a>.]</em></p>
<p>There are many moments in a college student’s existence that are shared by other students around the globe, but none more common than the All Nighter.</p>
<p>You know on the first day of class that there will be a 12-page paper due this Friday. You highlighted it, and put it in your planner. But as the weeks went by – and you sorta stopped showing up for class – you kept pushing the paper off. “I’ll start it this weekend,” you tell yourself a week before it’s due.</p>
<p>But the weekend comes, and with it comes an impromptu house party at your place Friday night, a long <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/haha/16343">recap/hangover session</a> on Saturday, a birthday party Saturday night and work on Sunday. No time for a paper.</p>
<p>You assure yourself that you will do it a little each night this week, but it takes you until Wednesday to realize that heading to the library with the girls and a bag of Baked Lays is not the best way to be productive.<span id="more-16526"></span></p>
<p>So, now it’s Thursday and the 12-page paper is looming. You scarf down some dinner, say TTFN to the roomies (who are pre-drinking for Thirsty Thursday), and embark on a long-ass night of research and paper writing.</p>
<p>You stop at the drug store on the way and pick up a few things: a couple Red Bulls, a bottle of water, a bag of chips and a Snickers bar. The combination of sugar and caffeine should get you through. When you arrive at the library (because there is no way in hell you’d get this paper done at home), you run past the scene in the reading room and scope out a quiet table in the middle of nowhere so you can’t be distracted. You unpack all of your things, spread them out on the table, turn on your laptop (and turn off your AIM), and get all settled in when you realize that the table you are sitting at is not near an outlet.</p>
<p>Eff.</p>
<p>So, you pack everything back up and find another place to sit.</p>
<p>The first 2 hours go by quickly and you get a lot done: you have the thesis, you have a plan, and now you just have to get writing. You drink a Red Bull and pump out 1.5 pages in the next 30 minutes. And then you crash and start drooling on your keyboard. It’s a war between you and your brain, but you know you must win. You get up, walk around a bit, then come back to write some more.</p>
<p>At some point near about 3am, you eat a little more sugar and pump out the rest of the paper. Your hands are shaking, your eyes are teary, and you are pretty sure you just compared Shakespeare to Will I. Am., but at least you are getting this thing done.</p>
<p>At 5am you finally finish the first draft. It is time to review but you can’t keep your eyes open. You begin to have an internal battle: “If I don’t go home and get some sleep I am going to be a zombie and won’t be able to contribute in class anyway, but if I don’t review the paper and make edits it is totally gonna suck. But, sleep is great. But grades are great. But my bed is so warm and comfy, and this chair sucks, but nothing sucks more than failing this stupid class….”</p>
<p>At some point you pass out.</p>
<p>Eventually you are startled awake (head on desk isn’t very comfortable) and have just under an hour to finish the paper, print it and turn it in.  You are running on pure adrenaline at this point – running from computer to printer to desk to class. You get the paper in just in time, then sneak out of the back of the lecture hall to crawl back into your bed for the rest of the day.</p>
<p>Yeah, we&#8217;ve all been there. And don&#8217;t worry; we didn&#8217;t look as cute and put together as the girl in the picture, either.</p>
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			<media:title type="html">Lauren - University of Michigan</media:title>
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