Chag Samach and L’Shana Tovah everyone!

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about (or even how to pronounce that mumbo jumbo), allow me to explain.

Wednesday at sundown is the start of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. It’s one of the happiest and holiest days of the year, filled with fun (and a few…er….interesting) traditions. And a lot of praying. For those of you who’ve never celebrated before or are wondering why all your Jewish friends get excused absences from class during the first week (how unfair!), allow me to guide you through some of the finer points of our celebration (and show you that we’re not just playing hookie for no reason here).

And for all you non-Jews out there: if you can swing it, secure yourself an invite to Rosh Hashanah dinner. The food is good, the wine is plentiful, and there’s bound to be an interesting character (or 2) at the table. Here is everything you need to know:

The Deal: Rosh Hashanah, which starts at sundown and lasts for two days, is the start of the Jewish calendar. It’s not as big or booze-filled as the New Years you’ll celebrate in December/January (actually, it’s more family and prayer filled), but it’s a celebration nonetheless. We dress up, go to temple, sing, dance, and eat. It’s a time to celebrate the end of one year and look forward to another, complete with resolutions, making amends, and family gatherings. It’s also filled with symbolism, which we love. And food. Did I mention we’re big on food? Read More »

You know what they say about a big shofar....

Every single January 1^st, I swear that I’m going to start regularly exercising and watching less TV. But somewhere around January 3^rd, I always find myself back on the couch, eating kettle chips by the handful and staring slack-jawed at yet another Top Model marathon.

Of course, I’m not alone. Research shows that a full third of all New Year’s resolutions are broken during the first week of January. Luckily, I’m going to get another chance to make a fresh start tonight.

Today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. When the sun goes down, other Members of the Tribe and I will be drinking wine, eating apples and honey, and making a second set of promises about how we intend to act in the year 5770.

Here’s my preliminary list of Jewish New Year’s Resolutions. I’m going to keep them this year. I swear: Read More »

Today is the first full day of Rosh Hashanah, which means that I just spent 4 hours thanking God for everything he has given me in the past year (followed, of course, by a large and delicious meal). While in synogogue, I thanked the Big Guy upstairs for my family, my friends, my education and the fact that my money is still safe in a bank somewhere.

I also thanked him for my wonderful job, my great hair and the awesome deal I got on that green pashmina I wore to services.

I thought I covered it all until I got home and realized I left a major “Thank You, GOD” out: a hearty thank you for all the super hot Jews in Hollywood. And for the DVR that allows me to record them, the iPod that allows me to hear them and the vivid dreams that allow me to…er…interact with them.

It doesn’t matter if you are Jewish, Christian, Hindu, or Agnostic; I think we all owe someone a giant thank you for these boys. (Click on the pic for more delicious pics!) Read More »

Tonight at sundown Jews all over the world will begin celebrating one of our holiest of holidays: Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year). Unlike the traditional American New Year where we make resolutions for the upcoming year, this 2 day holiday is spent asking for forgiveness for all the mistakes we made over the past year.

I just don’t know if 2 days is enough for me.

Being that I have such a public forum at my disposal, I thought I would go the extra mile this year and clear my slate of sins before I even step foot into synagogue this evening. So, without further adieu, here are my apologies. Please forgive:

- I am sorry for doubting the Wolverines and their ability to have a KILLER comeback in a football game.

- I am sorry that I called that girl a bitch in the bathroom because she refused to pass me toilet paper under the stall.

- I am sorry for all those times I cut people off while driving; I thought I had more important places to be than them, but I now realize that getting home in time for Oprah is really not important at all (mostly because I have DVR). Read More »