I sing of the Glorious Man Pelt, the shiny waves of hair that cascade from a man’s head, his chest, his arms, his legs, his ass, his bac—well, maybe not his back. And maybe not so much on his ass that I’m gonna have to spray No More Tangles on it.

I just need enough that when I’m wrapped around said man in passionate or casual embrace that he really and truly feels like a man and not a ken doll. For all the sexual response they garner from me, hairless men could just as well have Ken’s reproductive situation, if you catch my drift.

I’m not asking for a skunk ape here, I’m merely stating that I think men should retain a certain amount of that thing that is so inherently masculine.

That being said, I understand that many women—dare I say, the majority?—do not share my enthusiastic affinity for a lot of hair on men and I’m willing to chalk it up to taste to a certain degree. But for the life of me, I can’t understand why so many men feel it necessary to shave things like their forearms, or their legs, or, heaven forbid, their chests.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a proponent of trimming, especially in the bathing suit region, and I understand the practicality of shaving one’s beard so kissing doesn’t become the battle of the brilloface. I will even concede that mustaches, goatees and other forms of facial hair have not been attractive since, well, ever. And many men who are in to swimming, biking, or running like to shave to make themselves, I guess, faster (more aerodynamic?)

But no hair? Anywhere? I just don’t get it. Read More »

One of the things I hate most about being a girl is shaving. Guys have to shave their faces, yes, but they can also have beards, and there’s nothing wrong with a little stubble. Oh wait, there is? Gillette’s new ad campaign says, “no Fusion, no kiss.” Apparently, girls do not want to kiss men who have any stubble at all. So men need to shave it all off with Gillette’s new Fusion razor. I totally disagree.

Stubble can be sexy, right girls? I’m not really big on beards (though some girls are), but to me, there’s nothing at all wrong with a little five o’clock shadow.

Gillette’s new ad campaign is probably one of the worst campaigns I’ve seen in a long time, due to content and message. The interactive video basically tells guys to shave or all they’ll get from girls are handshakes. If you tell the video you don’t shave, a super annoying man describes way too many types of handshakes to you. If you tell the video you shave, they proceed to give you kissing lessons. The kissing lessons consist of women who are half dressed with their boobs hanging out, talking about kissing.

Right. Read More »

Spring has officially sprung here in New York City; the sun dress is here to stay, as are flip-flops, tank tops and shorts. If you’re like me, you might be looking down at your hairy, pasty legs and thinking “dear God, I actually miss December!”

And of course our trusty womens magazines are all about “getting ready for Summer” articles, reminding us that now is the time for manicures, pedicures, armpit shaving, leg shaving, fake tanner and…bikini waxes?

Really?

Bikini waxes are painful and, even worse, expensive! Cosmo online tells me I should wax about every 3 weeks, which would add up to probably about $400 over the summer months (considering the average bikini wax in NYC costs at least $50 w/tip!). At the moment I am a) single and b) not a surfer/lifeguard/swimmer/bikini model, so why the heck am I supposed to be getting bikini waxes? Painting my toes, shaving my legs, I get it–those are the bits that people can see when I’m wearing my little sun dress and flip-flops. Are shorts-that-are-so-short-we-can-see-your-pubes a new trend I haven’t heard about yet? Does casual Friday now include swim wear?

Someone, anyone: please enlighten me! Do you get bikini waxes in the Summer, even if you have no intention of hitting the beach/pool/water park?

Remember those days when men ached to read the latest issue of Details, have nice haircuts and unshaven faces? Buckle up because the days of straight boy metrosexuality are over!

Boys across the country are laying down their razors and fighting back against metrosexual revolution. It’s back to feeling like we’re kissing mom’s sewing needles.

If you were dating during that small window of metrosexual history, you will remember the trend wasn’t so bad. Did we really mind looking into those faces with trimmed eyebrows and smooth chins? Hell no! Now guys are proud to show their man mess in the face area. Read More »

Let’s face it. Not all of your boyfriends are going to be bronzed Adonis’s, chiseled-like statues and ripe to become Calvin’s next boxer-brief model.

Nope… just like you girls, every single guy carries a unique body, and among the variables that you’re apt to come across are the various amounts of body hair.

Of all of men’s body features, body hair is the one that seems to conjure up the most dissension among women. Some girls actually like body hair, think it denotes manliness, and enjoy playing with it when they are frolicking around with a guy. Some girls really couldn’t care less either way, which I admire.

But there are quite a few girls who think body hair is among the more disgusting features that a guy can have, and would rather die than get close with a guy who’s showing even the slightest bit of chest hair through his button down shirt.

However, despite the fact that some girls are OK with body hair, hair appearing on a guy’s back is almost universally reviled. And as a long time member of the incredibly exclusive Hairy Back Club (I’ll actually be announcing my candidacy to be its next president sometime in the near future), I don’t really get this massive aversion.

Sure, I guess it’s unsightly, but it’s not like it’s different hair than what’s on a guy’s chest, legs or arms. Moreover, as far as I can tell, there doesn’t seem to be some new movement that I’m unaware of which involves making out with a guy’s back, nor do our backs feature any major erogenous zones, so aesthetic reasons aside, there’s really no good explanation. Read More »

Like Nair, I’ve always been a little freaked out by my hair.

Being Italian, I’m blessed with lots of the stuff. It’s nice on my head, but anywhere else…a little less so. At least according to society.

The first time I realized nobody liked a hairy girl was in 6th grade. I was sitting in class in a t-shirt, trying to deal with early June heat and a new sensation I now know as “bra sweat”.

A kid, who I’m pretty sure was (and probably still is) named David, turned around and stared at me while the teaching wasn’t looking. “Yo, look at your arms!” he said as loudly as only a 12-year-old boy can, “who invited Harry and the Hendersons over?”

Harry and the Hendersons was a show based around Bigfoot.

That stinging comment has (obviously) stayed with me for years, and since then I have shaved everything—at least everything I could reach.

I often wish I could just chuck the razor in the drawer and never deal with balancing precariously in my shower again, but 6th grade David is always around, along with completely hairless movie stars, magazine models, and guys who continually obsess over girls being clean shaven “down there”.

This girl, on the other hand, is no slave to the razor. At least, she hasn’t been for a year. Read More »

You know Nair.

That smelly white cream you put on your face for 3 minutes every couple of weeks to keep the girlstache away? That stuff that can burn your face off if you don’t wipe it in time? That stuff you hate?

Well, they’re coming after your little sisters.

In an all-new advertising campaign, Nair is targeting “first-time hair removers”—girls ages 10-15.

With a sparkly new bottle and two new scents, kiwi and peach (which, I’m assuming, smells exactly like every other Nair scent: sh*tty), “Nair Pretty” is all about enticing girls without much hair to take off every spare stub.

“I am a citizen of the world,” the bottle proudly states. “I am a dreamer. I am fresh. I am so not going to have stubs sticking out of my legs.”

While I’m not convinced there’s a direct correlation between hairy legs and having no dreams, the marketers behind “Nair Pretty” seem pretty sure that they’re doing a monumental good in the lives of little girls everywhere. Read More »

I have no problem shaving my armpits. Or my legs (despite the fact that my tiny shower forces me to contort my body into acrobat like stances to reach my limbs). But the one thing I keep going back and forth on is The Bush.

(Nope. Not our president. Or his dad.)

I never used to shave down there. It never occurred to me to do so. It was natural, right? My innocence in the matter was shattered one night freshman year, when a few male friends began weighing the pros and cons of “bare vs. bush”.

At first, I was appalled. There were men who really thought natural was gross?

“Um, have you ever watched porn?” one dude asked me, “you ever see any bush in porn?”

“I’m sorry” I replied, “I wasn’t aware porn dictated how girls are supposed to look. Guess that means I need to get giant boobs. And a rose tattoo on my ankle!”

That particular discussion fizzled (mostly due to my indignation and a few pillows I may or may not have thrown in the direction of certain dudes) but I’ve been thinking about it ever since. And while I think completely bare is weird, I’ve tried lots of different variations over the years. Read More »