Even though we don’t want to, sometimes it’s hard not to compare ourselves to other girls. Yes, we may be able to look smoking hot when we try, but then we go out and see someone skinnier than us, or prettier than us, or with a better ass. And, without trying, we immediately give up on nabbing a man because he isn’t going to want us anyway. Not with those girls around.

And that is not OK (and neither are the self-loathing results of today’s daily poll!), especially when you realize what guys really want. Newsflash: it’s not what we have always thought. Ok, so yes, guys do dream about hot girls with big boobs, but that is not what they go for in the real world. According to one guy, what they do want is you. Who knew?

Life doesn’t come equipped with an orchestra. If your sexcapades, like your iTunes, are on shuffle, here are a few songs you probably don’t want on your playlist.

1. “Dat Baby”–Shawty Putt feat. Lil Jon

With a chorus of “Dat baby don’t look like me,” and an opening line, “Dat baby ain’t mine… I’m sorry, bitch you heard Maury,” this jam is an instant libido-killer. The last thing a guy wants to hear as he’s sliding into home base is “You are NOT the father!” Sure, you’re using protection, but condoms aren’t 100% effective…paternity tests, on the other hand, don’t lie. Besides, no woman wants to find out that her cute college hookup won’t take responsibility if an accident does happen.

2. “You’re Pretty When I’m Drunk”– Bloodhound Gang

You can kick yourself in the morning when you sober up and realize that the guy you brought home from the bar last night looks nothing like David Beckham (actually, he more closely resembles Danny DeVito), so you don’t need Jimmy Pop saying “I told you so.” Besides, lines like “I’m hungry like the wolf, but I’ll end up taming cattle,” and “it wouldn’t be the first time that I gave a dog a bone,” though satirical, are pretty harsh. As liberated, self-respecting women, we know we’re pretty when he’s sober, too, inside and out.

3. “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”– Sufjan Stevens

If you didn’t know that this song is about the infamous serial killer, you might think the gentle ballad sets the mood. However, if your ears perk up at the lines, “And in my best behavior, I am really just like him/ Look underneath the floor boards for the secrets I have hid,” you’ll probably get creeped out, and ask yourself how well you really know the guy who’s jamming his tongue down your throat.

4. “UR So Gay”– Katy Perry

Straight guys will go flacid as soon as Ms. Perry belts her titular accusation in the chorus. They won’t even listen to the following line, “you don’t even like boys.” Homophobic or not, men don’t like to have their sexualities questioned. Besides, the whole song is an angry letter to a shallow metrosexual. You would never want your lover to “hang [himself] with an H & M scarf,” now, would you?

5. “MmmBop”– Hanson

This song will actually probably cause many social situations to take a turn down Embarrassment Alley. If you’re a closet Hanson fan, that’s fine. But your guy might not appreciate your “special” quirks.

Any I missed?

Movies aren’t always just entertainment, and though these films seemed like harmless teen flicks at the time, I see clearly now that they’ve truly effected my maturation into adulthood. Plus, they’re awesome.

1. CAN’T HARDLY WAIT

To this day, I still have a girl crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt. I mean, who didn’t want to be her when this move came out? Plus, Ethan Embry = adorable and Lauren Ambrose = truly kick ass.

2. SHE’S ALL THAT

Anytime a overly attractive person hits on me, I’m convinced it was a bet.

3. SCREAM

I still sleep with the light on because of this flick. Plus, it was hilarious while also being bloody. Which I think is kind of awesome. Kinda. …Mostly just scary.

4. CRUEL INTENTIONS

Writing in your journal and acting creepy makes even the lamest of folks look ultra cool. You know what also makes you look cool? Practicing girl on girl smooching in FULL VIEW of other people. Oh and FYI, rich kids are f*cked up.

5. DAZED AND CONFUSED

It’s okay to smoke the ganga. Everyone’s doing it. Especially Matthew McConaughey (and when was the last time this guy did something wrong?).

6. BASKETBALL DIARIES

Just kidding, drugs are bad.

7. SAY ANYTHING

“In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel is EPIC. I play it on repeat while daydreaming about becoming Mrs Cusak. Even though he’s like 40-something these days, I’d still hit it.

8. CLUELESS

“Surfing the crimson wave” is still, hands down, the best excuse for anything.

9. AMERICAN PIE

Stay away from horny boys and webcams and band camp. ALSO, it’s okay to be a MILF. …And f*ck a pie.

10. THE BREAKFAST CLUB

Even though we may look different, even the most unlikely characters share similarities. Oh, and Cap’n'Crunch sandwiches are delish.

[Got a fav flick from your young years? Let us hear it!]