Personally, I think a good night of irresponsible drinking and partying is sometimes necessary. And by “sometimes,” I mean “college.” While you might regret it the next morning when you can’t roll over out of fear you will barf on that not-so-hot lad lying next to you, it’s always fun. But what if it could be more fun? I know you don’t think that’s possible, but I know for a fact that playing beer pong 7 nights in a row can get old. And those cups get mighty sticky.

Why not spice up a night of drinking with a few new toys? I’ve rounded up some of the coolest drinking toys on the market that every girl needs. You accessorize your clothes, so why not do the same with your booze?

Cocktail parties are always a good time. Everyone’s being all classy and mingling and chit-chatting with their cocktail o’ choice. Now imagine, in the center of your perfectly themed soiree, a fountain of the night’s leading cocktail flowing into party-goer’s glasses. Or, once the night really gets going, right into their mouths. Could you think of anything better?

So, you opened a bottle of 2 Buck Chuck with a friend but, despite how hard you try, you can’t finish it. But you also can’t get that stupid cork back in there. You don’t want to let that bottle go to waste, so what are you supposed to do? You need a bottle stopper, friend, namely this bottle stopper. Just stick that little guy in there and you’re good to go (that’s what she said).

Nobody likes a warm shot. That’s just…. ew, I threw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it. So what better way to ensure that your shot goes down smooth as ice than to serve your liquor of choice in a shot glass made of ice! These awesome ice trays allow you to make ice shot glasses with anything: water, soda, or even alcohol itself! You can take the shot then chase it with the glass! Mama likey.

One of the worst party fouls is losing your drink. (OK, maybe it’s puking in your hand, but losing your drink really blows.) Granted, you aren’t supposed to leave your drinks unattended at the risk of being drugged, but that’s not the point. Let’s just say you are enjoying a cold beverage while lounging by yourself, your buzz is kicking in, you venture/stumble your way into the kitchen for munchies and on your way back, you can’t seem to locate your beer (or wine cooler, for those averse to all things beer). That’s when this genius inventions steps in and saves the day! A remote control beer pager…need I say more?

Have you ever tried making an ice luge? No? Well, it’s hard, time consuming and never comes out as pretty as you’d like. But they are so fun! And with this little guy from the guys at IceBooze.com, you can take shots off a luge whenever you want! (Yes, even if it’s for breakfast.) Just fill the mold, stick this it in your freezer (and it will fit!), then bring out the bottles for some icy shot deliciousness. Gift from God, I tell you.

Annoying drunk people…

1. Feel the need to scream, “Omigod! I’m soooo drunk!” It’s not an Olympic sport. You don’t get a medal if you blow a .20 at the end of the night.

2. Feel the need to deny their drunkenness. They fall into walls and slur “I’m totally fine!” and then reach for a bottle of Bud Lite, Jager, Windex, anything, to prove that they can handle even more.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by going with the flow and hanging out. No need to announce your current level of inxotication, or how sober you think you are.

Annoying drunk people…

3. Need to be the center of attention by screaming, dancing on tables, and giving other partygoers a general headache. “We’re going streaking!” is only funny when it’s Will Ferrell.

4. Can’t help but be the center of attention by getting over-emotional and crying. Extra annoying points when they lock themselves in bathrooms and demand consolation from their best friend for hours, thereby ruining the non-annoying best friend’s night.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by checking your emotional baggage at the door and not using alcohol to combat your life’s problems. Also, don’t use booze as an excuse to prove how wild and uninhibited you are. If you are headed down the attention-whore road, try parking yourself on one bar stool for a night and seeing how many people gravitate towards you.

Annoying drunk people…

5. Need to get laid. No matter what. They think they’re sexy when they whisper sweet nothings into a hottie’s ear, when in reality they are slobbering all over a stranger’s face. Gross. Once rejected, they will probably stumble around the party, trying again. And again. And again.

6. Will get laid. By anyone. And sometimes everyone. Annoying drunk sex-maniacs will leave their friends behind to go home with a stranger, or swap saliva and other bodily fluids with many people – sometimes even multiple partners in one night. This isn’t classy, or particularly safe.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by putting your friends first, and choosing your partners wisely. There’s nothing wrong with an alcohol-induced makeout sesh once in a while, but you deserve the best, and you should hold out for top shelf lovers!

Annoying drunk people…

7. Leave their morals in the bottom of a shot glass. They steal, vandalize, and start fights. You don’t want to be the person that isn’t invited to the party because your friends think you are a klepto, and you don’t want to be banned from the bar for cracking pool sticks over your head, or bitch-slapping your peers.

8. Puke. They will puke on the floor of the bar, in cars, in their beds, their roommates beds, and all over themselves. We all have bad nights, drink one too many, and get the spins, but if your friends feel like an invitation to accompany you to a party means signing up to be a hair-holder, your company is going to get old quick.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by knowing your limits, at least to some extent.

If more than one of these annoying drunken traits apply to you, you might want to rethink the boozing. It’s great to unwind and have a good time, but if Jack Daniels turns transforms you from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, you’re going to alienate your circle of drinking buddies. And you could be the person that the rest of us are pointing and laughing not with, but AT.

Bo got his stitches out and these reality dating shows need to give me a counter at the bottom of the screen so that I know how many days have passed.

The group goes on a field trip to a tattoo parlor. Tila wants to know how far they’ll go for her because based on who “proves their love”, that’s whose family she’ll meet. Everyone has to get a tattoo, piercing, walk on broken glass or sit in the electric chair.

Lame. Brittany wants to get a tattoo and I forbid you to get Tila’s name tattooed on your body. Of course Tila is disappointed when Brittany takes time to think about it. Screw you; YOU get a tattoo, Tila. Kristy gets a star tattoo on her neck. I’m sure that the cameramen are disappointed that it’s not on her ass. Is she really a model?

George is going to walk on glass. Please drink a 40 before you do that. OH MY GOD. Tila is only interested in these people when they eat animals genitals or bleed for her. I cannot believe that he’s not cut.

GET OUT – Tila is going to walk on glass -0 and that’s because the glass is fake. Seriously? That’s stupid. George is going home for being a baby.

Bo is getting a tattoo of a shot glass on his calf. Um, Bo should be exempt because he has a freaking PLATE in his JAW. Jay is utterly unmanly — put your shirt on when you give your interviews! You have NO muscle under that layer of fat. Jay gets his first tattoo on his back and it looks ridiculous on him.

Lisa is going in the electric chair and 1) I’m not surprised and 2) I’d think that it’s fake. She’s tough though, so I don’t think that she’d exaggerate pain.

Brittany thinking that she’s a loser for not going – she gets a belly button ring. Brit, take it from me, a belly button piercing is pretty meaningless, it’s not painful and it’s not permanent, so calm down. Kick her off, I’m done with her.

Kristy wins a “sexy” date. Bo and Jay get the “romantic” date. The other three get a “dirty” date.

All of the dates are gonna be the same – make out time. Kristy is going to try on lingerie with Tila and what is it like to FILM this if you’re a straight man with all of the girl on girl make out and lingerie?

The Bo and Jay date is next and for whatever reason, Tila decides to spend alone time with Jay (read: make out with him) and Bo gets sloppy seconds.

George, Brittany and George strip down have to do body artwork. Tila tells Brittany that she’s the kind of girl that grows on her. Like athlete’s foot?

Cut the BS with Lisa already, Tila. I am as straight as you are and I’m attracted to Lisa.

Next day they have a BBQ and I forgot that Bo would have to be on a blended diet. SO the challenge is to eat some nasty ass blended hot dogs. Blended with pig vomit? I can’t watch this; I will totally throw up on the keyboard.

No shock that Lisa won yet again and she gets to go into Tila’s bedroom. Could you stop feeding everyone chocolate covered strawberries? Thanks. And she’s not fickle; she’s just not stupid enough to tell you that she loves you after spending a total of 47 minutes with you.

Eliminations!

Get the EFF out of here, picking Jersey Jay first. Kristy and her booty are bringing Tila home. Final four are Lisa, George, Bo and Brittany.

Bo gets a key because he’s so busted from being on this show.

George is out. What a waste.

Oh, good, Brittany is finally going home.

Wait – whhhhaaaattttt? RIZZO is going home?!?

I am utterly shocked. Lisa has been my front runner with Bo the whole time – I hate when I’m wrong. Dammit.

Next time: Meet the parents.

You’re in the midst of Power Hour (one shot of beer every minute for an hour) and “one of your idiot friends” (read: you) lost track of time. Nobody knows when the next shot should be taken. It’s instances like this when you could use a stopwatch, or better – enter the Shot Caller.

Let’s cut to the quick: the Shot Caller is a glorified stopwatch that conveniently keeps time while playing Power Hour, or any other drinking game that requires you to constantly remember when one minute has passed. You can set up the Shot Caller to buzz off every minute for an hour (or up to 100 minutes if you’re brawny enough to take the challenge). Completing the Shot Caller package are four “regulation-size” shot glasses emblazoned with the companies’ logo.

For $15 the Shot Caller is a great deal, and a perfect gift for your friend who hosts the pre-game at his house every week. Honor his existence and the Power Hour tradition in one fell swoop.

So when I found out about this yummy shot, you better believe I took notice. Getting tipsy and ingesting something that resembles my biggest enemy / biggest love? Fantastic.

Chocolate Cake Shot

¾ oz Vodka

¼ oz Frangelico hazelnut liqueur

1 thin lime slice

A pinch of powdered sugar

Cover your lime slice with powdered sugar. Pour the vodka and Frangelico into a shot glass, Vodka first. Bite the lime with the sugar on it, keep the juice in your mouth, and throw back the shot.

…And remember, always drink responsibly. Nothing says “please don’t hire me, future employers!” like a DUI.