There is always that one friend that is the sparkler at every party. And I mean every party, because she never misses one. Infamous for dancing on tables and singing louder than the rest when Miley’s “Party in the USA” comes on, she’s a party animal and you love her just the way she is. She’s the one you call to find out the best pregame, party and after-party for the night. So really, you owe her.

If you need help finding the perfect present for the party animal in your life, here are some helpful gift ideas for the girl who loves life… and loves it a lot more when there’s booze involved.

Do-it-yourself ice luge: For my 21st birthday, my mom bought me an ice luge mold. Little did she know just how big of hit it was when broken out at my birthday party. Nothing better than pouring cheap vodka down a icy slide. Your friend will love having a personal ice luge at her disposal, and it will only make her parties that much more fun for the rest of you. And if she’s a little saucy, try this one.

Personalized Flask: Every party animal needs their own flask. And this one from Urban Outfitters may be perfect for the party whore in your life. It holds her sauce and gets her home at the end of the night. Because who wants some ugly ID bracelet wreckin’ her style?

Beer Can Wraps: We all know the dangers of drinking in public. Pesky law enforcement. Because you don’t want to see your friend in jail anytime soon, get her these handy beer can wraps so she can drink her beer in peace. “Skunkpiss” and “Mountain Spew” are my favorites.

Shot Glass Checkerboard Set: Checkers has never been more thrilling. It will quickly become your friend’s favorite pregame activity. Be warned, however. Strategy flies right out the window after your first few jumps.

Martini Mixer: Bed, Bath & Beyond will surprise you with the amount of gifts they have aimed at having a good and boozy weekend. (They should change their name to Bed, Bath and Boozehound.) Let your friend get her 007 on with this Electric Martini Mixer. Shaken, stirred or right from the mixer, she’ll thank you for this new-found toy.

The Ultimate Beer Bong: Because no party animal likes to drink alone, the Octobong is the perfect present. Drinking beer from a funnel at a very fast pace is truly a bonding experience, believe me. Nothing says friendship more than an eight-person beer bong.

Power Hour Program: Being friends with a party animal is sure to drain your bank account; nights out on the town aren’t free, ya know. So if you’re looking for something cheap and easy to get your friend, download this awesome power hour program on her computer. Using her favorite songs from her iTunes, you two can host a rockin’ power hour pregame for next to nothing, excluding the price of beer, of course.

How to Cure a Hangover: I’ve never met a person who was immune to hangovers. While your party animal friend may have their own homemade-hangover cure, I think it’s best to leave it to the people who know best. How to Cure a Hangover: The Best Remedies from the World’s Greatest Bartenders by Andrew Irving is sure to help your friend through some of her worst hangover woes.

Asahi Beerbot: If you’re going in on this gift with friends, or if you’ve got the money to spend and you REALLY like this friend, the Asahi Beerbot is perhaps the coolest gadget I’ve ever seen. First of all, it’s a robot. A robot that you can program with a voice. And he will store and keep your beer cold until you decide to crack one open. But it doesn’t stop there! The Beerbot will pour it in a glass mug for you! Dying. I think I’d be tempted to buy this for myself before giving it away.

And the one thing that all party animals should have in their back pocket..

Portable breathalyzer: It’s better they test themselves than have an officer of the law do it for them, if you know what I’m saying.

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Ex-boyfriend calls out of the blue (at 3 am).

Although it would be mighty enjoyable to deny your calls during daylight hours, I just couldn’t muster up the proper amount of excitement about ignoring you as I was attempting to sleep. At 3 am. As most (okay some) college students are doing on Wednesday nights. It was, in fact, incredibly irritating to listen to my phone vibrating violently until it buzzzzed right off my nightstand, unplugged itself from my charger and died early the next morning, preventing me from whiling away my classes with interesting texts and Facebook stalking.

It seems that you still find ways to annoy the sh*t out of me, even technologically! Your call was especially appreciated by my new (and way better) boyfriend, who happened to be sleeping next to me and was quite frankly a little pissed off for the entire next day due to sleep deprivation and extreme annoyance with you. The only consolation I got from your obnoxious ass was the touching voicemail you left me (I believe you were crying) slurring on and on about how great I am. Well, I think it’s a little too late for that, mister, and so does everyone else who listened to it (aka 48 of my sorority sisters with a tendency to gossip)–although they did get a great laugh out of listening to your blubbering for 3 minutes.

Re-runs of The Office when you specifically cancelled Thirsty Thursday to curl up with Jim and Pam.

Any college student can tell you how vitally important Thursdays are to the bar, social and (for my single ladies) the sexual scene on campus (um, VERY). So it’s a heart wrenching decision when I decide to spare my liver and my wallet on the occasional Thurs, order myself an entire pizza (not that I’ll eat it all at once or anything…) and wave a bittersweet goodbye to my dressed up friends waltzing out the door with our good friend Franzia tucked under one arm. Any regret of staying in usually vanishes upon the beginning of my favorite Comedy Night Done Right component: The Office. And then it’s a repeat. I already know that Jan had her baby before the shower, that Angela gets screwed out of both Dwight and Andy, and that sadly, Michael will not win Holly back. What I do not know is how to deal with the intense anger and grief that accompanies my realization that I have 20 minutes to get ready, get my ass to the bar and start chugging before Beat the Clock is over. You may have won this week NBC, but I’ll be watching next week’s episode on Hulu while I’m hungover Friday afternoon.

Scented Candles.

It seems like I buy a new scented candle anytime I go anywhere. At the mall, it’s Bath and Body Works to splurge on White Barn. At home it’s buying fundraising candles from younger cousins or my mom’s co-workers. At Walmart it’s just me going buckwild on the candle aisle (they’re like $2.99 for a 20 ouncer! I’d be crazy not to take advantage!). Every time  I come home with a new candle, find a strategically awesome place to put it so that it matches the room’s color/vibe/purpose/season/whatev and light that bad boy up, I get a little feeling of wonderfully scented satisfaction. Fast forward to two weeks later. My formerly awesome candle just doesn’t have the same pungency. It’s not as pretty now that all the wildflowers in the wax are long gone. In fact, the wax is kind of crazy and gnarly and isn’t cute at all. And that’s if there’s even any wick left.

Most of the time it just burns down to the bottom and I’m left with a glass jar of wonderfully scented garbage. I don’t even have any surface area left in my room to put things down on. Just jars and jars of various candles that I occasionally sniff and can’t bear to throw out. I think it’s turning into a problem, so I’ve resolved only to buy 4 candles a year (so they’re seasonally appropriate, and I won’t feel bad about shelling out for Yankee Candle in the recession.). Yet everywhere I go, a new candle with some pretty ribbon or delicious scent taunts me and tries to lure me back to the dark (light and fragrant?) side…

When your roommates go on dates with a**holes.

More specifically, when I’m the designated meet and greeter for said a**holes. I have better things to do than get the door for you and make small talk while my roomie finishes making herself hotter (for your benefit!). The least you can do is be polite, don’t turn on MY TV without permission and not take the phrase “make yourself comfortable” to the extreme (removing jacket, perfectly acceptable; removing shoes and socks while you wait for 15 minutes—not so much.) And I would have thought that it goes without saying, but um, don’t be f–ing rude to a friend of the girl you’re most likely gonna try to hook up with later (because I will c&ck block you with all of my best efforts).

Being rude includes, but is not limited to: Answering my small talk with nods, only speaking to ask where the shot glasses are, proceeding to nonchalantly smoke pot in my living room, chase aforementioned shot with my last Diet Snapple, eavesdrop on me telling my boyfriend that I have a headache, or suggest that a good remedy for headaches is an intense workout—and that I should try it sometime. Don’t worry, I’ll catch your date up on your rude behavior via text message while the two of you enjoy your evening out.

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You may have made it through Welcome Week without any run-ins with the campus police (congrats!), but you still have plenty of opportunities to meet them up close and personal.

There are going to be many times this year and well into your college career that you will find yourself surrounded by alcohol. And, naturally, you are going to want to partake. Just beware–while you are navigating the university party scene, your RA’s, Campus Police, and Public Safety units are gearing up to bust underage revelers.

Here are some tips on how you can avoid getting written up before your first semester is over.

1. Don’t act like ‘The Freshman.’

Just because you suddenly have access to alcohol, it doesn’t mean you need to consume ALL of the alcohol at once. Even if the cops are out and about, they don’t have the manpower to hunt down every single underage boozer. So, they’ll zero in on the kid stumbling around with a trash can on his head before thinking twice about the passive mingler. The same goes with your RA, who really doesn’t want to walk in on you peeing in the corner of elevator.

2. Beware of PDA.

True story: I was once stumbling across campus with a guy I liked, and was pretty much all over him. I was stopped by a Public Safety brigade, who proceeded to quiz me: Did I know this guy? Where were we going? While I insisted that he was a friend, one of the officers interrupted with “You’re obviously intoxicated and we want to make sure you’re not going to make a bad decision tonight.” Ouch. (Editor’s Note: Where were those guys when I was making out with the guy with the tats?)

Luckily, they let us continue on our way, but the situation could have easily ended badly. This anecdote should be a lesson to guys, too. I’m sure my friend was mortified when the Public Safety peeps pegged him as a date rapist. But, just like the crazy, drunken antics mentioned above will red flag a drunk college student, a pair of horny kids who can’t make it back to the dorm room will also raise the suspicions of the University 5-0.

3. Be careful with your Fake.

If you have someone who is of age that can make a beer run for you, don’t even try to buy your own booze. At my school, all of the campus liquor stores had walls covered with confiscated fake ID’s. It’s a lot easier to get served at a bar or restaurant than it is to purchase booze from the store. FYI.

Still, you need to research the bars you attempt to get in to. Everyone at my school knew which bars would let in the worst fakes, which states made for the worst fakes, etc. I once had a fake ripped up by the manager of a new campus bar, because they were on the lookout for New York ID’s after being watched closely by the Po.

One more little tale: I knew a girl who got fined because she left her wallet at a gas station, and somehow, the cops found her fake ID in it. If a cop sees you with a fake for any reason, it can constitute fraud. Just food for thought.

4. Keep it inconspicous.

If you are walking to a party, don’t crack open a Natty Ice on the street. Don’t fill a Coca-Cola bottle with vodka. And don’t help a friend carry a case of beer if you are a minor. In many states, you can’t even handle alcohol if you are a minor. So if the cops are scouting out the liquor store, and card you and your of-age friend as you drag a shopping cart full of Patron to your car, you might get in trouble, even if you’re stone-cold sober and the bottles are unopened.

Even if you are trying to hide the libations you are hauling to the party, be careful. Ironically, backpacks scream “hidden alcohol,” especially when you are en route to a quad party on a warm Saturday evening. The cops may ask you open your bag, and having 30 beers fall out might put a damper on your weekend.

5. Stay current on campus news.

If there are four bars on campus, and three of them have been raided in the past month, you might want to lay low in order to avoid a sting operation on the fourth bar. Try to catch wind of any rumors that Tequila Tom’s might get raided.

Of course, if you are friendly with the bar staff, they might look out for you as well, because they want to save their own ass as much as you want to save yours. I’ve been flat out told by bouncers that they couldn’t let me in because they anticipated a raid; a year later, those same bouncers planned an “escape route” through the kitchen for the only girl in our group who had yet to hit the big 2-1.

6. Don’t advertise.

This goes along with watching your behavior and being mindful of your fake ID, but it’s the number one reason a minor will get busted. If you’re drinking in your room, don’t leave bottles and cans strewn about for your RA to see. Don’t display your shot glasses and your funnel. Many schools today even have rules that no alcohol-related decorations (posters, etc) may be displayed in “dry” dorms.

Just being alert to the fact that many people on campus are looking out for underage drinking can help you make smart decisions. It’s really not difficult to evade the disciplinarians at your school, and before you know it, you’ll be passing down your fake ID to your younger siblings and telling them to use it wisely. Take your time to get to know your campus and it’s policies. You have four years of partying awaiting you, so there’s plenty of time to tune up your beer pong skills.

Their challenge for the day is a biathlon and with that, I am over the whole Tila’s bi thing and it’s only episode three. Tila looks bored as she announces that it’s boys versus girls. What do pearl necklaces and blue balls have to do with biathlons? Oh.

This challenge makes me wonder why I never had a slip n slide when I was a kid. “I cruised through it until I got to the blue balls; then it all fell apart for me…that was my downfall, the blue balls.” Isn’t that how it always happens, Ryan?

Do they all share a wet suit? Chad is last and he too struggles with blue balls. Why do they call Jersey Lisa/Toni from Paradise Hotel lookalike Rizzo? I like her. I might like-her like her. Oh, and she wins it for the girls. Aw, Chad, I heart you even though you lost.

The girls win a date. Which consists of the girls – going to school. They are dressed in terrible school girl uniforms and Tila’s going to teach them – what? How to make a Myspace page?

They all have to write “I CAN…something, something, pig’s vagina.” Uh, can anyone actually eat a pig’s vagina and not poison themselves? Do me a favor, all of you – never do a google image search for pig’s vagina. Please. Looks worse than what was on the plate. I kind of wanna die. Like I could vomit in my lap. HOW the eff can Tila be disappointed that people can’t tolerate eating an animal’s genitals? This is the most engaged she’s been since the start of this season.

Lisa won again. Puke on Tila now cuz she deserves it. Wait – Lisa picked Dominic to come on the date? I don’t know how that went down because my stomach is trying to punch its way out of my throat.

Lisa kisses Tila during their date and normally I’d say Ew, but Tila deserves to have some pig vagina in her mouth. Tila tells some fake story about how she first knew that she liked girls. Dominic tells Tila that he thinks that bisexuality is a phase and he just got himself kicked off right there.

Eliminations! Goody. Two girls and two guys are going home. Even better.

It comes down to Ryan, Bo and Dominic for the guys. She keeps Bo and his cheesy white belt.

For the girls, the last ones standing are V, Samantha/Glitter/Pole Ridder, and Lauren – she keeps Pole Rider.

Everyone takes their stupid shot and why do I feel like there’s water in those shot glasses?

Next time: Breasts, booze, boys fighting and Glitter cries some more.

Yes! Yes it is.

Thanks to Yumsugar, I found my new best party pal. The Booze Belt. It’s a belt that holds two bottles of liquor and six shot glasses (glasses, not liquor, included).

With this accessory strapped to your waist, you’ll be the hit of the party – not to mention, the most in-demand bartender of the night.

It’s 90 bucks, but if you wanna make your money back, just throw on a cowboy hat, a pair of boots, give yourself a cowgirl name and charge people $2 each for one of Booze Belt Bessie’s straight-up shots.

Quite a ridiculous, yet hilarious invention that only a college student could pull off…and on!