You are only a few hours away from a three day holiday weekend, ladies! Can I get a “what what”?! Memorial Day Weekend is the official kick-off to summer, which means only one thing: it’s time to get a bikini wax the inevitable family BBQ.

Truth: You love hot dogs off the grill.
Truth: Your family is ridiculous and you’d much rather spend the time with people who don’t make inappropriate jokes about hot dogs. Or at least people who make funny inappropriate jokes about hot dogs. And are under the age of 65.
Solution: CollegeCandy’s Memorial Day Family BBQ Drinking Game

Because Great Uncle Bert’s war stories (a war which he was not in) are easier to listen to when you’ve got Bud Light coursing through your veins. The best part? You can play alone and, being that you leave the BBQ with a killer buzz, you always end up the winner.

What you will need:
A case of domestic beer (we’re celebrating America, aren’t we?)
Various other alcoholic beverages
Your drinking hat

Let’s Play:
- Chug your first beer if you are the only single person there (over the age of 16)/chug your first beer if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but they are playing this game at their own family BBQ

- Take a shot every time someone asks you if you are dating someone.

- Take another if they don’t at least feign surprise when you say you are not.

- Take a double shot every time someone asks what you’re studying and/or what you plan to do now that you’ve graduated.

- Mix and drink a screwdriver every time your mother nags about your lack of job or job prospects (“What are you going to do with a Communications degree!?”). You’re screwed in this market, anyway.

- Take a Kamikaze shot every time grandpa mentions his time in WW2.

- Pour one for our fallen heroes if anyone even mentions the real purpose of Memorial Day.

- Bring out the beer bong if someone starts talking about ‘Ole Dubya (George W. Bush), John McCain or the “glory days before Obama.”

- Take a drink every time someone says something that could be taken sexually and someone immature (i.e. you) giggles/responds with “that’s what she said.”

- Have a shot of whiskey every time your father/uncle/grandfather/brother almost burns off their eyebrows or arm hair with the grill.

- Take a sip every time your father/uncle/grandfather/brother talks about how he is the master of the grill and no one can grill up meat like him.

- Assign three drinks to anyone who says they are on a diet and only want salad.

- Put down your drink and start crying if someone comments on how much you are eating/how you should be on a diet.

- Polish off whatever is open and not finished if grandma/some other woman in your family leaves a big, wet lipstick print on your cheek when she says goodbye.

By the end of the night, your family should be bearable and your legs should feel like Jell-0. A Memorial Day BBQ victory!

[Photo courtesy of jfizz 79 on Flickr. Thanks!]

We’ve all been there: that rowdy Friday/Saturday/Tuesday night when the liquor bottles come out and the shots glasses clink. All those nights we’d like to forget and we hope no one else remembers either. All the shots that didn’t go down too well – or missed our mouths completely.

But, lo and behold, the next morning we discover these little beauties lingering on our Facebook wall for the world to see.

Welcome to The Post-Shot Picture. The picture you didn’t realize was being taken because you were too busy keeping the vomit down. The pictures that makes you wonder why you’d ever accept a shot (let alone insist on them night after night) as you clearly do not enjoy them. The pictures that totally make all of us laugh…when we aren’t the ones being photographed.

Need a good LOL? Here you go:

Honestly, does anyone really like these things?

Sometimes people get to the point where just drinking a drink isn’t enough. We all get into that rut and pull out the deck of cards or the stack of red cups. We get bored with the monotony and impatient for a good buzz. As the night goes on we begin to wonder if it would be more fun to perhaps shoot the alcohol into our mouths with a pistol, or tackle each other as we chug a frosty one. Or maybe mixing a little fire into the equation could be a good time?No.

These are bad ideas; each and every one of them. Drinking may be a huge part of the college experience but, there are just some things that shouldn’t be mixed with booze.

At Home Breathalyzer. This may seem like a good idea on the surface, but I’m here to warn you it’s not. Let’s think about the nature of college kids for a minute…. In a nutshell we are all competitive, fun-loving, idiots. Take those competitive, fun-loving idiots and add some alcohol and a Breathalyzer and you will have yourself a whole new drinking game called “Who can blow the highest BAC without dying.” I kid not.

Vodka Pong. If I ever have children they will turn 21 with the knowledge that you do not mess with hard liquor when playing drinking games. Who ever looked at a beer pong table and then looked at a bottle of Absolut and thought “hmm, that could be fun…” should not be allowed to drink ever again. One of three things will inevitably happens when these two forces of nature are combined: you will either 1) Lose the game (because there are no winners in Vodka Pong, 2) End up in the hospital, or 3) Wake up the next morning with sharpie on your face. None are fun endings.

Alcohol Shot Gun. I admit this looks incredibly fun, but for some inexplicable reason I fear for my eyes. I just have this knawing feeling that maybe your aim isn’t so good after being shot in the mouth with tequila a few dozen times. I also feel like the burning sensation of alcohol being shot into your cornea doesn’t feel so good. But that’s just my concern.

Drinkathlon. Like a decathlon but with drinking…  Get it? See above for reasons why college kids shouldn’t be trusted to mix sports and booze. Thats right hockey puck, I’m looking at you.

The Wine Rack. This isn’t dangerous per-say, but it did raise a lot of questions for me. What happens when you drink all the alcohol from your bra: does your rockin’ cleavage disappear? And what if this punctures and all that precious alcohol seeps into your brand new Forever 21 top? And, since it’s a sports bra, should I start drinking on the treadmill?

Flaming shots. Every time I see that video, I cringe and have to look away. No one should be trusted with alcohol and fire. No one.

Fire extinguishers. 

There are only two things I didn’t do enough in 2008: read about Barack Obama, and drink. And, like any two problems, it turns out you can fix those with a simple drinking game. But I don’t this to be some namby-pamby Johnny-come-lately one-night drinking game. For better or worse, I want this drinking game to last as long as Barack Obama is the president. For the next four years, I want Obama streamed directly into my life. And I want to be really, really drunk.And unless our national situation shapes up soon, you probably will, too. So:

The 2009-2013 Barack Obama Presidential Term Drinking Game.

- Drink every time Obama shoots a three-pointer as a publicity stunt. Drink again if he makes it.

- Drink every time an annoying conservative blogger photoshops Obama in a compromising political situation. Chug if it’s hilarious, like “PHOTO EVIDENCE: HUSSEIN OBAMA SHOWN WITH MINIATURE TALIBAN RADIO TRANSMITTER AND 40 VIRGINS UNDER TURBAN.” Chug and sob if FOX decides that bad photoshops are “news.”

- Drink every time Obama is implied to have planned or caused the following events: the economic crisis, 9/11, the Iraq insurgency, the Pearl Harbor bombings or the assassination of Julius Caesar.

- Drink in celebration every time one of the Big Three auto industries makes a full-featured, attractive, affordable electric car (please get out of the car, first).

- Alternately, take a shot every time one of the Big Three goes bankrupt or gets bought by Toyota.

- Drink every time any senior Democrat says “worse before it gets better.”

- To avoid mass pan-American blackouts, times when Obama says “hope” or “change” will be reduced to one-quarter of a drink each.

- Drink every time Obama pisses off the Russians (missile defense system in Poland, anyone?) Drink again if Putin responds with more shirtless martial arts videos.

- Drink every time Obama is hotter shirtless than Putin anyway.

- Drink whenever Michelle Obama is compared to Jackie O.

- Drink whenever Barack Obama is compared to JFK, and drink to calm your nerves whenever you see him in an open-air venue (was anyone else inexplicably terrified during the election night speech?)

- Drink whenever Obama is shown with any kind of nasty un-Presidential personal technology.

- Drink whenever Obama’s cabinet is described as a “second Clinton administration,” a “throwback,” a “dynasty” or anything similar. Chug if Bill Clinton ends up with an official Obama administration post.

- Drink every time someone paints an Obama mural in a European city.

- Drink a Shirley Temple every time Obama makes a speech in a predominantly Muslim country.

- Take one drink for every point Obama’s public approval ratings fall below 50%. Hopefully, this one won’t kill anyone outright through alcohol poisoning.

- Drink every time the Obama girls don’t get arrested for drunk driving or fake IDs. Heh, heh.

- Pound a few shots if, upon taking office, Obama turns out to be an evil overlord and replaces the Washington Monument with a giant statue of himself. Pound a few more if the statue shoots lasers from its eyes.

- Finally, until the Dow makes it back over, say, 10,000, drink every time you’re able to afford it. Obama might be smiling up a storm in office, but the next four years could be rough.

Print a copy, keep it in your pocket. Be ready whenever, wherever. And play responsibly, yeah?

Oh, Tila, maybe this time it will work for you.

So Tila is newly single and 15 guys and 15 girls arrive to compete for the affections of the MySpace ho. Tila comes out in gold booty shorts saying that it didn’t work out with Bobby and that she’s still bi. And by bi, she means a liar.

She wastes no time and starts with a boys vs. girls cage dance off in order to win Tila time. She encourages them to remove clothing and of course a girl removes her top and Nick, the elder care specialist, drops his drawers. I’m not amused by the shot glasses blocking out body parts; it’s not clever.

The girls win and do they recycle MTV houses? I only saw one episode, but it looks like they covered Domenico’s faux marble with blue and pink carpets.

I like that we know everyone’s occupations. Will they keep their jobs after this? There are way too many people from New York and New Jersey on this show.

I won’t name names because it’s pointless to do that at this point — except for Boston Michelle, because she has a wicked awesome accent.

Tila makes them perform in a talent show which is totally boring and then two girls end up making out. Shocking. And shocking-er? Tila sees it. Of course.

Girl eliminations: The maker outers are told, “Give me back my key and get the f*ck out of my house.” Is that how she rolls? I like.

Six leave and they do their requisite shot.

The boys, who have been left out in the cold and in the cage, are up.

(Um, does anyone watch “Viva Hollywood“? OMG. Vinci and Berto doing their love scene. Ha. Remember “8th and Ocean“? Yeah, I barely do, too.)

Tila changes out of her booty shorts and I see twins. Christ, here, too?

Chad, who I think needs to be my drinking buddy, teaches me the phrase “wang bone” and drunk Mohawk kid needs to go home.

Jay from Jersey is like every bridge and tunnel guy in the clubs. Someone calls him Corey Haim and I was totally thinking that. Are they gonna fight? Is this scripted?

The guys have to perform a fashion show.

Nick the elder care specialist presents Tila with an actual d*ck in a box and he’s so going home.

Boy eliminations: Nick and his penis are out. Some other guys are out. The mohawk is wasted and sent home. Tila sends home a twin.

I have no predictions. I decided that I would indeed like to drink with Chad and walk on the beach with Kyle.

This season: Oh, they all sleep in one bed? Chad punches Bo in the soul patch? Fire pits and tears and I bet that they are already casting for season three.

Simple ingredients, easy to make, tasty, and above all—fun. Whether you’re out with your girls or hanging inside the dorm celebrating the end of a horrible midterm, fun shots that won’t break the bank are the way to go.

Here’s a two-ingredient shot that tastes awesome. It’s named after one of the best ice cream treats of all time, and, vodka has almost no carbs, so you can have your treat without feeling guilty.

…Although I would never advocate for the total elimination of ice cream from your diet. Ice cream is holy.

Banana Split

1 oz. banana liqueur

1 oz. good quality vodka*

maraschino cherries (optional)

Add the liqueur to your shot glass after the vodka. Stir once and drink. Bite into a maraschino cherry afterwards to take some of the edge off.

*Getting into the habit of buying good quality liquor is something I recommend. While drinking too much will always get you sick, the better quality of your liquor, the less likely you are to feel completely terrible the next day. Plus, good liquor goes down much smoother, and doesn’t have the grainy aftertaste of the cheap stuff.

In the past, most of us fell into our beds on Friday night, the long week taking it’s toll on our brains and energy.

But these days, pour a little of that strange tasting liquid into a glass, and suddenly, we’re ready to run around campus in high heels, without a jacket, yelling loud hellos to whoever we happen to jump over.

If this week has been as long for you as it’s been for me (who gets sick twice in one month?!) take a shot of this before the clock strikes eleven tonight.

You should be rearing to go in no time.

Cherry Bomb

1 oz cherry vodka

3 oz Red Bull

1 splash grenadine syrup

Pour your vodka and Red Bull into a small glass. Add grenadine slowly so it sinks to the bottom for a cool layered effect.

Turn up some Journey, clink glasses, and get the night going!

…just remember, not even the power of amazing 80’s hair bands can save you from the spins.

You’d go to the grocery store or movie theater as a kid, see those giant contraptions, and just need a gumball.

You’d die without a giant multicolored ball.

But your mom would always tell you no. And you’d hate her for awhile, because like, how could she deny you that amazing jolt of sugar?!

These days, I take a look at those huge gobs of processed chemicals and thank God my mom kept them away from my teeth.

As great as they tasted, I’m sure I’d have dentures by now had I always gotten one when I begged for it. This shot is an homage to those days spent screaming and stomping for a quarter:

Gumball

1 oz Jagermeister

1 oz Blue Curacao

1 splash Red Bull

Pour equal parts Jagermeister and blue Curacao into a cocktail shaker with some ice cubes. Add a medium splash of Red Bull. Shake briefly; strain into a shot glass, and serve…no whining required.

…Just remember, nothing makes you seem like an annoying 3-year-old like getting so drunk you cry over a chipped nail.

You have everything that was ever good stuffed together and covered in chocolate. You are my favorite candy bar. You are even better frozen.

But alas, you hate me. You do! Why? Because of how many calories are in you. Because eating you will give me all the fat I need in one day.

And yet, you tempt me so.

What’s a girl to do? Make a shot that’s the closet thing to your fat-abulous goodness, that’s what.

Snickers Bar

• 1/3 Frangelico

• 1/3 Kahlua

• 1/3 Bailey’s Irish Cream

Take a rocks glass (bigger than a shot glass, smaller than a plastic red cup) and fill it with ice. Pour your Frangelico and Kahlua into the glass, and then “float” the Bailey’s on top.

The best way to “float” a liquor is to hold a spoon upside down and drip the alcohol into you glass drop by drop. It takes a while, but it’s worth it—plus, you look cool.

…just remember, that coolness totally goes out the window as soon as you get so wasted you start wearing your skirt as a hat.

That being said, there’s always something impressive about a girl who can deal with heavy duty alcohol. Taking a ‘manly’ shot is a surefire way to impress whoever you happen to want to impress, and helps you feel like a badass—at least until it hits your throat and burns a thousand fires.

In honor of tough girls everywhere, this week’s shot is full of grit and bite, and definitely not for the faint of heart.

Silver Bullet

½ oz. vodka

½ oz scotch

Poor good quality vodka in your shot glass, top it off with a good quality scotch (skimping on cheap liquor will only make this a more difficult experience), give everyone your best tough-chick stance, yell “I’m not afraid of pain!!” and throw it down the hatch.

…just remember, nothing says “I can’t handle my liquor” like getting so wasted start dancing to music only you can hear.