Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over to us to put in next week’s post.

(Guy, two girls, at dining hall breakfast.)

Guy: You girls don’t need your buns toasted, do you?

Girl 1: Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

Girl 2: Heh heh. No.

Guy: I was talking about the hot dog buns.

(Girl, on the phone, on a campus thoroughfare.)

Girl: I wish you didn’t have a penis!

(Beat)

Girl: Well, then I wish you would stop jerking off in the shower! Read More »

I think their costumes are the same size...

Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays. I could never understand what wasn’t to like. All the store windows are covered in cotton cobwebs and fake skeletons, people hand you free candy everywhere you go and you can dress up as absolutely anything and walk around in public without being judged. Did I mention the free candy?

It doesn’t matter whether you’re seven or 21, this holiday rocks. What changes, though, is the reasoning behind your excitement. Clearly, we spend the holiday a little differently now then we did back then.

Then: It gave us an excuse to have a party during math class.
Now: It gives us (a valid) excuse to party for a week straight.

Then: We grabbed the biggest bag we could to load up on candy.
Now: We grab biggest burrito we can to load up on carbs to coat our stomachs for the festivities.

Then: We dressed up as our favorite Disney princess.
Now: We dress up as our favorite Disney princess… minus 7 inches of fabric.

Then: “I’ll give you two Kit Kat’s and a nerd rope for that giant Hershey bar!”
Now: “Why don’t we go back to my place, Sexy Police Officer?” Read More »

You start off with a few rum and Diets at home before heading to the house party. You couldn’t possibly walk in sober and who knows how much access you’ll have to booze once you get inside? You’re sipping on your last pre-drink when your friends are finally ready to go, so you chug it and follow them out.

Upon arriving, you say your hellos and shove your way through the crowd to the keg parked in the backyard. You fill your blue Solo cup (“What? They make these things in blue!?”) then meet back up with your friends. You sip, you chat, then you wave your hand violently in the air when the party host asks who’s up for a game of flip cup.

You take your spot at the table, strategically placing yourself next to the very cute boy who lives there. You do a few practice flips, wet the table in front of you a bit for more cup traction and get ready for the game to start.

Seven rounds later, your team is victorious, you and your boy-toy are hugging it out and you’re feeling less than steady. Ok, so you’re drunk, but it’s good drunk. Perfect drunk. The kind that will easily take you through the rest of the night but still leave you feeling a-OK in the morning.

As you begin to walk away from the table to find your friends, the cute boy grabs you.

“Wanna take a shot?” He asks.

“Obvi,” you answer, smitten. Read More »

How many times have you been hunched over a toilet bowl/garbage can/bush after a night of drinking, promising God that if he lets you live through the night you will never drink again? Obviously, if it’s more than once, you are a big fat liar. But that’s not the point.

The point is that you went a little too far with the shots and now you are teetering on death. Or so you think.

Imagine a life where you wouldn’t have to have that convo with the big guy upstairs. A life where you knew just how much you could drink and still live to see another day. A life where, sure, you may barf up that Dominos Cheesy Bread you just ate, but at least you wouldn’t fear that regurgitated mess would be the last thing you’d ever see.

Well, it’s here. Just type in your stats and find your RIP limit. Read More »

"12 more hours of this? I can handle it. I'm sotally tober..."

You’ve got a big day planned: early morning breakfast, football pre-party, football game, then out on the town with your homies.  18 hours of boozing? Psssssh. It may sound like a lot, but you’ve been training for a day like this since you stepped foot on campus.

You set your alarm for 7 a.m. then run around the house screaming at your roommates to get out of bed.

“It’s party time! Get up!” You turn on all the lights, bump your iTunes and head down to the kitchen for a power breakfast. You search for the carbiest things you can find, then shove a half frozen bagel into your mouth and wash it down with some OJ, the only non-alcoholic beverage you will have for the day. You don’t have time for chewing; you have an outfit to pick out.

Once your stomach is good and coated you head back to your room to prepare for the day.
Appropriate drinking outfit? Check.
ID? Check.
Camera? Check.
Small flask that fits into your purse but can still get past campus security? Cheeeck.

You head back downstairs and begin mixing cocktails for the roommates. Slowly, they make their way to the kitchen where you are waiting for them, drinks in hand.

After everyone’s buzz has been kick-started (thanks to your force feeding), you take some much-needed selfies then head out to your pre-game of choice. Once there, the drinks come quickly: shots of Captain’s straight from the bottle, cans of Keystone straight from the funnel, and 2 games of flip cup…all before 10 am.

You’re feeling good, like a rock star.

“I LOVE DAY DRINKING!” You scream. “This party’s goin’ all. night. long!” Read More »

We’ve all been there: that rowdy Friday/Saturday/Tuesday night when the liquor bottles come out and the shots glasses clink. All those nights we’d like to forget and we hope no one else remembers either. All the shots that didn’t go down too well – or missed our mouths completely.

But, lo and behold, the next morning we discover these little beauties lingering on our Facebook wall for the world to see.

Welcome to The Post-Shot Picture. The picture you didn’t realize was being taken because you were too busy keeping the vomit down. The pictures that makes you wonder why you’d ever accept a shot (let alone insist on them night after night) as you clearly do not enjoy them. The pictures that totally make all of us laugh…when we aren’t the ones being photographed.

Need a good LOL? Here you go: Read More »

Personally, I think a good night of irresponsible drinking and partying is sometimes necessary. And by “sometimes,” I mean “college.” While you might regret it the next morning when you can’t roll over out of fear you will barf on that not-so-hot lad lying next to you, it’s always fun. But what if it could be more fun? I know you don’t think that’s possible, but I know for a fact that playing beer pong 7 nights in a row can get old. And those cups get mighty sticky.

Why not spice up a night of drinking with a few new toys? I’ve rounded up some of the coolest drinking toys on the market that every girl needs. You accessorize your clothes, so why not do the same with your booze? Read More »

The summer after I graduated from high school I was excited to finally be free from compulsory family vacays to celebrate the 4^th of July. So to celebrate both America’s and my own newfound independence, I went big, I went all out – I went to a house party.

It was the kind of party I look back fondly on in remembrance of high school days. There was cheap vodka, a backup keg, and plenty of top shelf liquor plucked from the generous hostesses’ parents liquor cabinet. The night started out innocently enough, with keg stands, red and blue shots (white didn’t work out the way we’d planned), and plenty of high schoolers bragging about just how wasted they were.

As a mature, soon-to-be-freshman, I was so over the same un-graduated attendees that had been plaguing house parties for the last 4 years of my life. As I lamented the lack of “real men” with my equally sophisticated best friends, the college guys showed up. Read More »

My biggest issue with drinking is not the hangover the next morning or my desire to sing REALLY loudly at the bar, but the fact that I’m taking in all those calories for something that doesn’t taste good. I’m talking to you, Tequila!

If I’m going to get fatter, I better damn well enjoy it, am I right?

I’m sick of plugging my nose while throwing back a shot and rummaging through my kitchen for an open can of Diet Coke to chase it. I want to enjoy my drink from beginning (taste) to end (drunkity drunk drunk). So I sifted through the internet to find drinks that taste less like gasoline and more like my favorite thing: dessert. I’ve tested these recipes again and again (and again…) and they do the trick.

Potent? Check.
Lip smacking good? Mmmmmcheck!

Here are my faves: Read More »

Now that I’m halfway done with my college career (a pretty cushy place to be, considering I have two more years before the real world), I anticipate all the bright eyed and bushy tailed freshmen about to invade the dorms and use fake-id’s at all my favorite bars. Putting myself in their shoes, I wish that someone had been there to give me advice for my college career (all I got was my Mom telling me not to hook up with any fraternity boys until Spring semester). So I dove in head first and learned a few lessons of my own.

I learned the value of my dry erase board to my social life, I learned that “attendance optional” classes are not always a good thing. I learned that I should always have an assortment of costumes readily available, and that sharing drinks with my friends meant sharing drinks with whoever they made out with (and whoever they made out with…) All of these were very important lessons, and I’d like to share some of the pearls of wisdom I gained my freshman year. Read More »