It’s the most wonderful time of the year, when gorgeous models prance around in next to nothing on network television…yes, I’m talking about the Victoria Secret Annual Fashion Show! Instead of getting insecure and feeling badly about myself while watching abnormally beautiful people on CBS this upcoming Tuesday night, I’ve decided to embrace the female parade in a few ways.

Recognize it as a holiday tradition. The transformation of shopping malls into lands of holiday consumerism happens every year, whether we participate in Black Friday outdoor sleepovers and Wal-Mart pepper spray raids or otherwise. The fashion show is part of the scheduled televised rituals of the holiday: watching a football game and the Macy’s Parade on Thanksgiving Day. There’s no need to fight it — it’s free. It’s simply a time to indulge in fantasy, to look at pretty people, watch fun performances and laugh at crazy costumes. Kind of like Halloween, but less scary. Or sloppy.

Watch Jay-Z, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj and Adam Levine. For those who usually avoid this TV special like the plague, it’s not just a fashion show — it’s a concert, too. Think of it as a star-studded music special with really pretty people walking around. As a mainstream music fan who sits unsatisfied by Levine’s double performance at the AMAs and has yet to grab tickets to the Watch the Throne tour, consider me tuned in.

Organize a cathartic potluck. Yes, I know some people we just got finished digesting our Thanksgiving meals…and there are those leftovers in the fridge…but when I realize that the poor (metaphorically, of course) models have been working out for months, starving themselves for days and dehydrating themselves for a few too many hours, I get a little bit sad. And it’s only appropriate to watch the show while indulging in the most decadent foods that my friends and I can cook. I’m talking junk food, cupcakes and Fat Tuesday-style margaritas.

Turn it into a drinking game. Whenever a model winks at the camera, whenever a Victoria’s Secret ad airs during the commercial break. The drinking must continue the entire time that the Miranda Kerr and her $2.5 million dollar Fantasy Treasure bra are onscreen. I doubt anyone will fall on the air, but be prepared, just in case.

Think about it as a public service announcement. Unfortunately, the economy hasn’t leveled out to where it used to be just yet, and every dollar we spend is still a contribution to keeping the consumerism wheel turning. So though this TV special might make some people feel badly about themselves enough to buy something from Victoria’s Secret — or anywhere, really — it’s for the greater good of everyone. The special doesn’t even advertise certain products in particular; the name of the bras walking down the runway aren’t explicitly publicized for viewers to purchase them at their local malls. But it does get people to generally continue spending after Black Friday AND Cyber Monday, that’s all.

Get a head start on making New Year’s resolutions. Because damn, it still does make you want to work out. Eventually. I mean, 2012 is still weeks away.

Check out our FAVORITE photos from past shows. They’re WTF. They’re Ridiculous. And they’re awesome.

Ah, summer. It’s so close I can taste it.

And hear it?

Days on the beach, drinks on patios, and BBQs with friends. And music, lots of music. One of the very best things about summer is going to outdoor concerts.  And there are so many amazing tours this summer, I have a feeling I’m going to be at a concert pretty much every single week. And concerts mean music, beer, and friends. Which is pretty much heaven for me. Here are some of the biggest and best summer tours you should keep your eye (and ear) on.

Blink 182
Remember Blink 182? Duh, obviously you do. I used to be absolutely obsessed. I mean, how cute was Mark Hoppus? I was heartbroken when they went on hiatus and waited a couple years for them to get back together before I gave up. Mark created the not overly successful +44, Travis joined him along with fighting with Shanna Mokler on Meet the Barkers, and Tom formed the semi-successful Angels and Airwaves. But now? Back together again.

I don’t know why they’re reuniting. Maybe it had something to do with Travis Barker’s near-tragic plane crash and their thankfulness he’s still alive. Whatever the case, it’s hard not to be excited by their upcoming tour (and alleged new album!). No official dates have been confirmed yet, but the boys have said they will be touring the world this summer and rumor has it, they will be sharing the bill with No Doubt, another pleasant blast from the past! I’m pretty excited to see what the crowd is like for this show. Lots of people in their 20s and 30s reminiscing about their teenage angst-filled days I’m sure.

American Idol
Yeah, yeah, the crowd is probably going to be filled with 10-year-old kids, but come on. I’ll be at the American Idol tour, and with absolutely no shame either. After obsessively watching the contestants for a ridiculous amount of hours every week for basically half a year, there’s no way I’m missing a night of seeing them live.

The top 10 American Idol contestants of 2009 will be touring around the country, and yes, that includes the winner (ahem, Adam Lambert). But I’m also super excited to see Danny Gokey (please sing “What Hurts the Most”!) and Anoop Desai. I’m cringing a little bit at the fact I’ll have to watch Michael Sarver and Megan Joy once again, but I can always go buy a beer during their sets. Wait, do they sell beer at American Idol concerts? Please say yes.

Kenny Chesney
Kenny Chesney shows are always, always a good time, even if you’re not particularly a country music fan. The best thing (in my opinion) about Kenny tours in the summer is the chance that he might take his shirt off. OK, OK, so the music is pretty amazing too (but seriously, his body is h-o-t) and this year he’s touring with Miranda Lambert, Lady Antebellum, Sugarland, and Montgomery Gentry.

Helloo, it’s like a whole country music festival.

You’re probably going to want to spend some serious time tailgating, so get to the show early and wear your favorite cowboy hat. Everyone is a country fan when it comes to Kenny Chesney and with songs like “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem” and “Beer in Mexico,” there’s nobody better to spend a summer night with than Kenny.

Elton John (and Billy Joel)
Hi, Legend. Attending an Elton John concert would totally be one for the books. Right up there with Bryan Adams and Mariah Carey.  How could this not be the most amazing concert ever? Elton’s going to be touring the world with Billy Joel and while Billy’s not my absolute favorite, he’s definitely another huge legend. I kind of think whatever stadiums and arenas they’re performing at are going to explode with all that major legend-ness.

Elton has had so many huge hits, and even his recent albums are pretty fabulous, so I am super psyched to see what songs he’s going to choose to perform and if this concert is going to last all night long. Seriously, I don’t think Elton and Billy would even have enough time to sing all their hits in one evening. In any event, I can’t imagine Elton John will be touring too much longer, so I would jump on this summer tour if I were you. Do you think Elton will wear some outrageously huge sunglasses? Let’s hope so. I can’t wait to Crocodile Rock this summer!

What tours are you looking forward to this summer?

Following in the footsteps of VH1′s The Pick Up Artist, comes a similar You-Suck-At-Dating-So-Let’s-Fix-Your-Flaws-Before-You-Start-Throwing-Birthday-Parties-For-Your-Cats show. This time, we watch as GIRLS get some harsh reality about what we do that turn off the MEN. Hosted by the ever beautiful and brutally honest Steve Ward, a master matchmaker and easy-on-the-eyes male, this show follows eight single ladies looking for love as they journey through a “Tough Love Boot Camp.”

Each episode will revolve around one theme and include a Dating 101 class, a field exercise (a date!), and end with a group therapy session where one girl is chosen for doing the worst. Unlike The Pick Up Artist, nobody gets booted off, but the worst contestant will get an embarrassing critique during therapy. This is good news for us viewers because we get to learn some lessons along with the girls (finally, a reality show that’s actually useful!), but thankfully don’t have to do it on national TV!

With issues ranging from trust, intimacy, communication, ex-boyfriends, and the infamous text-aholism, Steve works with these ladies to break their bad habits in hopes of finding The One. Each girl has a classic case of Chase-A-Guy-Away-itis and is nicknamed for their main issue. I’m sure we can all find one girl we relate to the most, so I challenge you to follow your sistah’s progress. Learn some lessons along with your favorite gal and root for her to find love. So, which girl are you?

Abiola (Miss Picky) – The self-proclaimed Princess whose standards are so high that she critiques guys based on a 10 point scale. Props to her for being an independant diva, but will she learn to give guys a chance or continue to write them off before even learning their last name?

Arian (Miss Party Girl) – A former stripper and hardcore partier who dates by a “two week” rule, this chica is dealing with some daddy issues. Claiming that all men are unfaithful, she protects herself by immediately airing her dirty laundry in hopes that a guy will stay with her despite her flaws. Her penchant for TMI and overly-sexual nature keeps decent guys at arms length.

Jacklyn (Miss Wedding Obsessed) – This 23 year old, small-town, wannabe bride is terrified that her “clock is ticking” and hopes to be married by 25. Having already chosen her wedding dress, centerpieces, invitations and photographer, this commitment-minded Southern Belle scares guys off like Jennifer Aniston!

Jessa (Miss Too Much Too Soon) – This insecure textaholic smothers guys with her obsessive nature. Taking pics of them in their sleep, over-analyzing every word and stalking their Facebooks have the men running for the hills. Will she take Steve’s advice and finally learn how to enjoy the moment?

Jody (Miss Lone Ranger) – This 30 year old has found total success in the workplace, but has no one at home to share it with. Too much focus on work and no play has left this hard worker alone and lonely. Although a wonderful role model for goal-oriented girls, can she stop obsessing about work and make time for a real relationship?

Natasha (Miss Fixing The Wrong Guys) – Suffering from the Nurse Curse, she is attracted to men with issues and hopes to be the one girl who can change him for the better. Being too nice and caring, she allows these hot messes to walk all over her.

Stasha (Miss Ball Buster) – This former Playmate’s alpha female attitude and constant bragging intimidates every single guy she meets. Her harsh, critical and upfront demeanor are her way of putting up walls to keep out “losers.” Can this self-proclaimed “sheep in wolves clothing” let down her guard and let in her match?

Taylor (Miss Gold Digger) – A get-what-I-want Daddy’s girl, this unapologetic bitch won’t settle for anything less than “the finer things in life.” Claiming that guys are intimidated by her looks and the attention she gets, she lets her shallow standards do the talking.

Can you relate to any of these ladies? If not, congratulations, but some of us may still be wondering why we’re single. Though these girls do have great things to offer, their issues are stopping them just short of finding true love. Let’s watch as they break down their walls, correct their mistakes and let Steve use an electrocution device to zap away their bad habits. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride…

(Show airs Sundays at 10PM, so watch and come back Monday morning for a recap!)

So when I found out that Britney Spears had been cast on my second favorite sitcom (behind The Office), How I Met Your Mother, I was a little perturbed to say the least.

How I Met Your Mother has succumbed to stunt casting before, giving guest spots to stars like Mandy Moore, Enrique Inglesias, and in one episode, Heidi Klum and a bevy of Victoria’s Secret models. However, these cameos were mainly a way to try and reign in more viewers, as HIMYM has often had low ratings, despite the inherent hilarity of the show.

But now the makers of the show have gone too far. I try to avoid Britney Spears columns like the plague, considering that I really don’t like voluntarily hearing about a person’s psychological meltdown. Schadenfreude really isn’t my thing. So when I saw the headline announcing this guest spot, I was thisclose to skipping over the article entirely. Imagine my horror when I realized the sitcom gig in the headline was referring to my beloved, pure, funny, and original How I Met Your Mother.

So now I just wait in horror for next Monday. The reports from the set seem to be…positive, I guess. And I believe that any scene with Neil Patrick Harris as Barney can be hilarious, even if Britney is in there sucking up all the funny. So fans of HIMYM, keep your fingers crossed for zero to minimal southern accent, bad comedic timing, and inane references to Britney’s former glory.

If anyone can salvage something from the wreckage of Britney Spears’ current situation, let’s hope that the writers and actors of How I Met Your Mother can do it. And considering that the show almost didn’t get renewed for another season, I guess I’m willing to let the gazillion or so new viewers tune in just to see Britney speak in coherent sentences…as long as it keeps How I Met Your Mother on the air as long as possible.

Wow, so how about Medium last Monday night, huh?

The premiere episode was just OK, but with this one I could tell that Glenn Gordon Caron and the writers have really shot straight back up to the level of tension, mystery, and all-around awesomeness they had reached at the peak of last season.

I loved seeing more about Ariel, especially now that she’s blossoming into the snide teenager that everyone hates. After that episode, I’m beginning to think she should have been born in the ’70s, because the huge hair and earrings the size of small yachts really suited her.

I’m still not sure about Ameritips Woman, though (what the hell is her name, anyway? Cynthia or something old-ladyish like that?). Anjelica Huston is a great actress, no doubt, but whenever I look at her, all I can think about is how strongly she resembles a horse.

Is that wrong? I’m sorry, but every time she’s going on about Missing Person #3114, all I can think is, “Horse! Horse! Horse!” Oh, well. I’m sure I probably look like a furry animal, too, so no hard feelings.

Any other Medium fans out there? Hit me with your thoughts on the season so far!

Being Italian, I’m blessed with lots of the stuff. It’s nice on my head, but anywhere else…a little less so. At least according to society.

The first time I realized nobody liked a hairy girl was in 6th grade. I was sitting in class in a t-shirt, trying to deal with early June heat and a new sensation I now know as “bra sweat”.

A kid, who I’m pretty sure was (and probably still is) named David, turned around and stared at me while the teaching wasn’t looking. “Yo, look at your arms!” he said as loudly as only a 12-year-old boy can, “who invited Harry and the Hendersons over?”

Harry and the Hendersons was a show based around Bigfoot.

That stinging comment has (obviously) stayed with me for years, and since then I have shaved everything—at least everything I could reach.

I often wish I could just chuck the razor in the drawer and never deal with balancing precariously in my shower again, but 6th grade David is always around, along with completely hairless movie stars, magazine models, and guys who continually obsess over girls being clean shaven “down there”.

This girl, on the other hand, is no slave to the razor. At least, she hasn’t been for a year. In a post on The F Word website about growing out both her leg and armpit hair, she explains how empowering and amazing it feels, and how she never plans to shave again.

“Eventually I grew to love my hairy armpits.” She writes, “I grew to love myself, to accept my grown woman’s body and, more than anything, to love the freedom I discovered when I no longer had to waste time and money preparing my supposedly unacceptable body for the outside world.”

Her liberated words and legs sound awesome, but I’m just not sure I’d ever be able to follow in her free footsteps. I’ve become so used to being sleek and smooth that going back to hair just doesn’t feel cool.

Society has convinced me that 6th grade David was right.

What about you? Why do you shave? Could you ever go for months without doing it?

If that wasn’t enough star power already former Apprentice star (and all-around bitch) Omorosa will be joining the ranks. Imagine Paris in a claws-out catfight with that nasty feline, or Joan Rivers dishing it out to LiLo. Or Britney having a heart-to-heart with George Forman. My mind is boggled – and intrigued.

Celebrity Apprentice could be an intriguing venture for the party brigade. Lord knows each girl needs a healthy dose of humility, and the show would supply just that: this version of The Apprentice will have each star working for Trump to raise money for charity. How’s that for a money shot?

Details have yet to be fully combed over, but reps for all three haven’t disclosed any official word on whether they will appear on the show or not. We here at College Candy will keep our fingers-crossed and our TV schedule open to witness any show that features Carmen and feisty law-breakers.

Who will make the best Celebrity Apprentice contestant?