As we approach August, we may have started to take summer vacay for granted. In the dog days of summer, it’s easy to sleep until 2 p.m., get caught up on Maury, and not realize we still have our PJs on until it’s time to go back to bed. But with the countdown to Fall Semester ticking fast, it’s important to make the most of every spare minute. Whether you’re working your ass off or dedicated to being a lazy bum until a full courseload kicks back in, it’s time to get in gear and create some glorious summer memories.

1. Take a roadtrip. Sure, gas prices are skyrocketing, but you’re only young once, right? And once you’re shackled into a nine-to-five, you’re going to crave the spontaneity that’s currently yours for the taking. I’m a self-professed workaholic, but even I’ve been known to squeeze in a few quality roadtrips between May and August each year. One summer, I took a fourteen-hour drive to Ohio with two girls from work I barely knew, for the birthday party of one of my brother’s grad school friends. And no, my brother didn’t go. So, three random girls showed up at a party in the boondocks (aka Wooster), and promptly put on our party shoes. Liquor flowed, regrettable hook-ups were had, and the girls and I totally bonded over the experience. Even if you can only spare one day, find a town you’ve never been to before, and head out to explore. You never know what adventures might arise.

2. Go multimedia. Have a photo or videoshoot with your friends. No, you don’t need to be drunk, you just need to be creative. Use the summer foliage as a backdrop. Pretend you’re on America’s Next Top Model and work the runway. Yes, it’s childish, but nobody will know if you seal all the evidence in the vault. I have countless “Dress-Up” portraits, in which I’m dressed as anything from a Spice Girl to a Showgirl, as well as some priceless dance routines caught on tape to Tupac’s “California Love,” in which we substituted rolled-up toilet paper for Pac’s signature bandanna headband. It makes for a quick pick-me-up on future bad days. I didn’t make this stuff myself– go watch Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegates’ “Movie Montage” scene from The Sweetest Thing.

3. Get off your ass. There’s a variety of activities that can fall into this category. Take a bike ride, go rollerblading, go hiking. Hell, go to the local playground and play on the jungle gym. We all know exercise boosts your endorphins, but it’s a also a great way to maintain your tan and your bikini bod. Side note: some of my most romantic summer kisses have occurred on the docks of the local lake or underneath the monkey bars once the sun sets on a sultry summer’s eve.

4. Enjoy the local festivities. Whether it’s a local fair or a weekly farmer’s market, a tour of a historic landmark or a downtown block party… what do you have better to do? Besides, even the smallest towns have kooky summer activities. I know a guy who runs in a citywide roadrace every year, donning nothing but a loincloth. You can also check out the local downhome watering hole that reeks of flannel and flasks. Who knows what goes down when the townies come out to play?

5. Have a midday drinking festival. Seriously, this is the time in our lives when we can do it without being labeled an alcoholic. During every spring semester of my college career, I wouldn’t skip a single class until the first nice day of spring. Then, my friends and I would cut every single class to sit out on the quad and booze it up from inconspicuous Nalgene bottles. Sure, school’s been out for weeks, but you can still have a good old daylight drinking binge on a random Tuesday. The good news? You’ll probably pass out early enough to get a head start on tomorrow. The better news? If you follow this step, you can move on to the local festivities or the multimedia extravaganza.

Just don’t attempt a summer roadtrip if you’ve already been hitting the bottle in 90-degree weather.

Showgirls.

Now, I’ve seen bits of this masterpiece in tackiness before, but I had never sat through the whole thing — the whole edited for TV version, no less. Most people probably think watching an NC17 film on cable is lame, but let me tell you, friends, Showgirls only gets better with censorship.

Here are 5 Reasons Why You Need To See Showgirls (the Edited for TV Version)

5) Elizabeth Berkley’s Wardrobe

She may want you to take her seriously today on some boring Bravo dance show, but back in 1995, Berkley was being dressed like a whore in every single scene in Showgirls. Even when she wasn’t running around in thongs and dancing crop tops, the girl just couldn’t catch a break from the wardrobe department. Everything she wears in this film makes her look like a blind prostitute who wears baby clothes. Seriously. If you played a drinking game where everyone took a shot every time Berkley wore something that showed her stomach or asscheeks, you’d be wasted after 10 minutes.

4) That Doggie Chow Scene

If you’ve seen Showgirls (and if you haven’t, hopefully this list will convince you of your duty to do such a thing), you know what scene I mean. Nomi and her nemesis, evil bitch / slut / main dancer / wearer of horrible nails Cristal are making nice at a fancy restaurant. How do they finally bond? Over dog food. That they ate. Direct dialogue quote is as follows:

Cristal: “Doggie chow. I used to love doggie chow.”

Nomi: “I used to love Doggie chow too!”

I mean, how can anything be said about this dialogue besides that it’s so f*cking horrible it does a 360 and becomes awesome? Also, I guess I don’t even need to go into the underlying misogyny of two women bonding over how they used to love eating food for dogs. Bring it up in your next Woman’s Studies class. Bras will burn.

3) Elizabeth Berkley’s Acting

Maybe it wasn’t her fault. Maybe Paul Verhoeven is the kind of director who just sits back and goes, “yes! See how you’re totally over-acting in that scene?! KEEP GOING!!” Maybe she really wanted to do a good job but was coerced into sucking instead, but whatever the case, Berkley does not do anything half way in this film. She dances dramatically. She breathes dramatically. She thrusts dramatically. She eats hamburgers dramatically…just put “dramatically” in front of any verb and that sums up her performance.

2) The Redonkulous Script

First Joe Eszterhas wrote Flashdance. Then he wrote Basic Instinct. Then he wrote Showgirls. Then he wrote Basic Instinct 2. I can only assume Eszterhas sold his soul to the devil for the chance to write Flashdance and in return promised each subsequent screenplay he created would suck leagues harder than the previous one.

The dialogue in Showgirls is so bad it’s amazing anyone was able to say it without throwing up into a bucket first. It’s also amazing anyone wanted to sit next to Eszterhas after they flipped through his stupidly gratuitous sex scenes, let alone make his movie.

1) The EDITED ON BRAS and Nonsensical Plot After Gratuitous Sex Scenes Are Cut Due to Censorship

While unpacking a giant box filled with pots and pans, I nearly dropped 12 pounds of non-stick metal on my feet when I noticed that in certain scenes where Berkley is topless in the original film, someone went and DREW ON animated “bras”. Yes. To protect the precious eyes of TV viewers everywhere, some poor intern was instructed to animate underwear on Berkley’s body. Every animated bra is funnier than the last, and since the girl is basically topless during the entire film, her slightly squiggly purple “underwear” is everywhere.

Also, it should be noted that Showgirls makes even less sense when the sex scenes are cut out. Everyone’s motivation is suddenly inexplicable.

Thirdly, the words they come up with to replace the multitude of swears that jump out of everyone’s mouth is priceless. If you played a second drinking game where you took a shot every time a swear was replaced with an awkward word, you’d be drunk in 10 seconds.

So, there you have it. Some fantastic reasons to see Showgirls on cable. Call your friends, break out the cheap cocktails, dress up in your favorite dance thong, and drift away into 2 hours of pure stupid genius.