Hollywood hunks that got better with age

Which Showtime leading lady are you?

How to stay fashionable without hating your body

TV’s all-time sexiest couples

A guide for seducing your favorite literary characters

Are you always honest with your friends?

Mmmmm…sexy wet men

How to get the bombshell look

Kim Kardashian sets a date for her big wedding

This past Monday, season five of Weeds premiered on Showtime and reminded me of one of my biggest girl crushes – Mary-Louise Parker – who plays the sassy, snappy California soccer mom turned rebellious drug-dealer on the television mega-hit. Beautiful, talented and unafraid to show off her stuff (Parker posed nude in advertisements for the third season in 2007 and appeared naked in a bathtub in the season 4 finale… not bad for 46 years old!), Mary-Louise has come a long way from her hometown of Fort Jackson, South Carolina.

In addition to earning acclaim as Nancy Botwin, Weeds’s pot-pushing, Mexican-border-hopping protagonist, Parker has demonstrated that she is well suited for the stage. In 2001, she won a Tony award for her Broadway performance in Proof (which was then turned into a movie and snatched up by Gwyneth Paltrow), and she received both a Golden Globe and an Emmy for her work in the HBO miniseries Angels in America. MLP added to her Emmy tally, and added a Screen Actors Guild Award to her resume, for her guest performances on seasons three through seven of the political drama, The West Wing.

In 1996, Parker met and began dating heartthrob actor Billy Crudup, who ended the relationship while Parker was seven months pregnant with their son in 2004. He started dating Clare Danes immediately after the breakup, although he maintains that his decision to dump Parker on her pregnant booty had nothing to do with the beautiful blonde actress. Tom Brady, anyone? Since then, Parker has dated Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz, actor-director Timothy Hutton, and Weeds co-star Jeffrey Dean Morgan, to whom she was engaged for a few months in 2008.

Mary-Louise Parker will continue to give hope to horny little potheads (and, um, normal 21-year-olds like myself) through 2010, as Weeds is confirmed to run through then. Perhaps she’ll help lead the efforts to legalize the happy green plant in the US?

“I’m really in favor of legalizing marijuana,” she said after accepting her Golden Globe in 2006. “I don’t think it’s that controversial.”

Let’s go waaay back (to 2002) to the release of  Bend it Like Beckham, when JRM got his first big acting break.  He starred as Joe, the Irish soccer (okay, football) coach who quickly fell for his culturally-conflicted student, Jess.

I loved this movie for two reasons: first, because it showcased Keira Knightley during her awkward stage before she was really famous, and second, because JRM totally stole the show.

His impeccable brogue and pursed pout had my teenage tongue a-waggin’.  Plus, due to the English colloquialisms peppered throughout the film, the characters kept referring to Joe as “fit” (translation: effable), which inspired me to dream of my own physical condition after a long night with JRM.

But that was just the beginning.

Our boy then took a role in the quirky (but really exceptional) Woody Allen flick, Match Point. JRM starred as a man wracked with guilt over an infidelity with Scarlett Johannson’s character, who devises an ultimate solution to rid her from his life.  The film has everything: delicious sex scenes, multiple close-ups of Jonathan’s chiseled jaw and impassioned stare, and his persistent stress only heightened my desire to step into the film and relieve him…if you catch my drift.

Today, he stars as iconic historical cassanova King Henry VIII in Showtime’s The Tudors. Now you can schedule regular dates with JRM (alas, on television).  And while he remains a bachelor, he’s recently been reported entering and leaving rehab for alcohol addiction. It seems he’s been spending a lot of  time taking care of himself, which I applaud. When he’s ready to let someone else take care of him, I’ll certainly be ready to effill the role!

It’s no secret that here at CC, we love Entourage. HBO and Showtime never cease to entertain with shows like Dexter, Weeds, and True Blood, but for some reason, Entourage has always held a special place in our hearts (and no, it’s not just because of this).

Besides the witty and quippy writing, Entourage is almost always hilarious, last night’s episode being no exception (everyone trips on shrooms in the desert and Ari desperately calls Lloyd to get him through his ordeal). The characters are strange yet likeable, and the Hollywood “scene” has never been drawn quite so wackily. So yeah, we love the show. Love it enough to stay up late on a Sunday night or TiVo it to watch immediately after work.

But here’s the thing: there’s pretty much no way to feel good about your body once the credits roll. A show created, produced, directed, and mostly written by men, Entourage is bursting at the seams with “hot” women. I’ve been watching for 5 seasons, and I honestly can’t remember a time when a female character was anything less than absolute runway material.

Everyone has big boobs. Everyone is thin and tall enough to dunk a b. ball like Michael Jordan. It’s like the casting director opened up a Victoria’s Secret catalogue, pointed to every single girl in there, and made sure she got a spot on the show. Like the producers walked around Vegas with Pied Piper flutes and somehow made the entire population of showgirls, strippers, and car models follow them to LA (perhaps they offered them cookies that would eradicate cellulite?).

This got me thinking; Entourage is great and all, but most likely, it’s written with dudes in mind. Most of the guys in Vinny’s group are less than perfect (E’s four feet tall, Turtle looks like one, Drama isn’t hot in the least, and Ari is on the old side), and yet, they get all the vajayjay they could ever hope for from beautiful chicks who disappear from the plot as soon as they’ve served their purpose.

I’m not trying to be a killjoy; it’s obvious that we love hot strippers and girls with big boobs, but WTF?! There’s more women in the US than there are men — shouldn’t we be granted the right to A) see girls who represent more than just the small model percentage, and B) at least a few guys who are super smokin’?!

We wouldn’t dream of getting pissed off at our favorite show (it’s like getting mad at that adorable frat boy for falling asleep on your shoulder after shotgunning 9 beers), but it seems pretty obvious to us that Entourage could certainly improve it’s female following if they took into consideration just how sensitive some of us are to how we’re represented on screen.

What do you think? Should Entourage change it’s ways, or stay just the same?

I have been reading some great books, but I’ve also been watching some horrible television.  Seriously, people.  There are shows dedicated to moving walls with holes in them and the jumpsuit-clad morons who try to jump through.  There are shows that obviously employ monkeys to write their dialogue.  There are shows that are politically based and hours long and amount to nothing!  Even HBO and Showtime can’t save me, because besides a few great series, the movies they show during the day should never have been made in the first place.

But wait!  There is some salvation – in the form of lesser known networks and their even lesser(er?) known shows.  Shows that are fantastic but rarely seen by the normal person.  Let me use my time on the couch to your benefit and educate you on the Top 5 Shows You Don’t Know Exist But Are Awesome.

Anthony Bourdain, No Reservations (Travel Channel): We’ve featured Bourdain a few times on our site, mostly because he’s an OGIF  (Old Guy I’d Like To…).  But here’s the thing, his show is actually awesome.  Unlike a lot of TV cooks, Bourdain seems to fully understand what it is to apreciate all types of food, and is pretty fearless when it comes to A) traveling around the world and B) eating random things from random places.

Bourdain isn’t interested in comfortable hotels and beaches, he wants the raw and real experience of each place he visits.  Because of this, No Reservations tends to be less about weird food and more about the people of this world; how different we are, and how weirdly the same.  Bourdain’s narration is funny, deep, and often pretty badass…plus?  He can’t stand Rachel Ray. Obviously, the guy knows what’s what in this world.

Taboo (National Geographic Channel): Do you like gross scenarios?  How about watching people do cringe-worthy things to their bodies?  I haven’t been able to get through an episode without closing my eyes at least twice, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t find the whole experience fascinating.  This world is huge, there are people out there who believe and do things you wouldn’t believe…truly, the best part about Taboo is that it’s completely real.  We are freaking weird, and this show celebrates that weirdness.  Isn’t it time you did, too?

Deadliest Catch (Discovery Channel): A documentary series on Alaskan crab fishermen.  It doesn’t sound interesting, but believe me, there’s nothing more interesting than watching these manly dudes take on ice, giant waves, and each other.  If you’re like me and have a thing for guys who look like lumberjacks (or crab fishermen), than this show is the perfect place to look for a potential husband.  Sure, some of the guys are probably legitimately crazy, but that just makes them more fun to dream about (mmm, crazy bearded manimals…)!

John and Kate Plus 8 (TLC): It’s not news that we at CC have a soft spot for this show about a family of twins and sextuplets.  There is just something inherently watchable about the Gosselins.  John and Kate are hilarious in their own ways (she’s kind of neurotic, he seems like he’s asleep half the time), and their kids are not only superbly adorable, but also really, really funny.  You would think that watching episode after episode of tantrums, screeches, and exhausting situations would totally turn anyone against having kids, but I have to say, the more I watch, the more I want some little mini-me’s of my own!  …Just not as many.

Ghost Hunters (SciFi): I’ve been watching Ghost Hunters for about 2 years, and I’m going to continue watching it until the last episode of the last season.  Is the show scary? Not really.  Sometimes they catch  weird sh*t on their tape recorders, and one time they literally caught a ghost on camera (I don’t care what you say, it HAPPENED!, but most of the time it’s just guys sitting in a dark room saying things like “what the frig?!” and “something just moved!”.  But because everyone involved in the show is just so damn real and normal, there’s a ton of strange entertainment value.

What do normal people look like when they’re watching a faucet turn on by itself? (it HAPPENED)  What do normal people do when they think something is chaising them?  Whether you believe in ghosts or not, this show is a funny and interesting look into how many people actually do.

[Any other lesser known shows the public needs to know about?  Spill!!]

(Photo from latimesblogs.latimes.com)

Granted, how much sincerity can really go into reality dating shows, but, the genuineness of one contestant was never questioned: Dani. Her lovable, real, and sweet personality immediately became a viewer favorite all over the country.

The rising just-turned-30 reality star is from Fort Lauderdale. With tomboy looks she thinks of herself as not feminine and not butch, but a little of both: futch. She loves her job as a firefighter but knows how to relax with a movie, a book, camping, playing paintball and softball. A firefighter and paramedic, saving other people’s lives is a big part of her own.

Dani fans are not only devoted, they are starting to take action for their beloved idol. Her fan base is growing and according to an online poll, close to 90% of viewers want to see Dani have her own dating show as a spin-off to Shot of Love.

As of today, an online petition site has gathered a total of 6656 signatures asking MTV to give airtime for Dani to have her own show. Fans who support the petition are persuading the network to create the spin-off, promising that it would be very easy to find contestants for the show as Dani’s fan base is only on the rise.

Personally, this made me question… where are all the lesbians on mainstream television? Lesbians are people like anyone else in our communities who teach at schools, pray in churches, run for government, laugh along with friends at the bars and produce Hollywood films. Yet, they still are not depicted as regular “normal” characters on national TV.

The popular show Will & Grace treaded carefully along societal boundaries with characters that were accepted by mainstream society due to their charming, ridiculous and witty over the top comedy and plots. LWord (which is only viewed on Showtime) has been the first show to be written by a lesbian and on the lesbian lifestyle. A huge step in the right direction, yet, since they’re playing “L.A types” there are still exaggerated L.A. lifestyles, dramatic L.A. personalities and unrealistic L.A. lesbians.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with this, for this show. My question is: where are the real “normal” lesbian characters? An average, girl next-door character – who yes, is gay, but attends a normal college, has a normal life and happens to be a character on a TV show.

I guess this could be an “equality in the media” type of discussion, but is it too much to ask? Can we once just see a lesbian TV character that is taken seriously, not flawed with stupidity and not a totally defined by her sexuality?

How about this for a possible TV character: “Dani”, the show about a firefighter who saves the world by day and by night comes home to her beautiful wife just in time to tuck in the kids. Or Jane: the CSI crime scene investigator - who happens to be a lesbian.

What do you think? Is society getting closer to accepting television characters of different sexual orientations? Or do we still have a long way to go?

This season Mary Kate will make her television return, sans sister Ashley, on the hit Showtime series Weeds. Olsen will be playing Tara a Christian girl from a church community called “Majestic”. It is reported that Tara will become the love interest of Nancy Botwin‘s (Mary Louise Parker) son Silas.

Set to appear in 10 out of 15 episodes, it leaves us wondering if audiences are ready for Mary Kate’s solo debut or if the CEOs of Dual Star Entertainment have become a package deal.

By the age of six, while appearing as Michelle Tanner on the hit family show Full House the twins began to look so different audiences were beginning to tell them apart. It was said that Mary Kate was considered to take over the role, but because of their giant fan base and the opposition of John Stamos, both girls remained apart of the cast. Of the two Olsen twins Mary Kate was the innate actress while Ashley mostly cried in front of the camera, intimidated by the set. MK sprung to action and played Michelle in the majority of scenes throughout the nine year series.

A departure from the squeaky clean Olsen image, Weeds should serve it’s purpose, taking MK from a wholesome all American kid star to an adult actress. It is of course a far venture from New York Minute or any of Dual Star’s straight to video releases but Michelle Tanner is all grown up now and ready of course to hit the prop bong and smoke some top of the line oregano.

Recently Kathy Griffin mentioned Mary Kate in her new stand up “Everyone Can Suck It”, apparently the tiny Olsen approached the comedian to declare her love. Kathy, looking around the empty Hollywood hotspot wondered where all of the socialites were hiding. Olsen replied, “It’s early. Give this place 20 minutes and it turns into a celebrity F*@K fest”. Looks like Mary Kate is ready for Showtime after all. You can catch her Weeds debut on the season premiere August 13th.

Theresa Bennett