Did you know these bite-sized crustaceans have virtually no fat and are very low in calories, AND are a tremendous source of protein? Just one 3 oz serving carries 84 calories, 1g of fat and 18g of protein! They’re also rich in heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids, which are good for you, and cholesterol, which is not. That same serving will give you more than half of your daily recommended intake of cholesterol, so don’t go overboard!

Easy Swap-out Suggestions:

1. Ditch turkey and cobb salads for shrimp in a salad with mesclun greens, sugar snap peas, avocado, and a drizzle of lemon vinaigrette. Deeelish.
2. Sick of carrots and hummus? Boil shrimp and serve with cocktail sauce as a quick snack instead.
3. Kick up your pasta dish by switching chicken for sauteed shrimp in tomato sauce for drizzling over your fettuccine.

This Week’s Recipe: Grilled Shrimp Marinade

I tried this recipe with frozen shrimp from the grocery store–they’re easy to keep on hand for a meal in a pinch, and this marinade is essentially foolproof…and a great way to impress the roommates.

Ingredients:

2 pounds jumbo shrimp
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 to 3 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 bunch green onions, with a few inches of green, thinly sliced
1/4 cup chopped parsley
3 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups (dry) brown rice, cooked
1 bag spinach, steamed

Instructions

1. Place shrimp in a glass bowl. Stir remaining ingredients together; pour over shrimp. Cover and marinate for 3 to 4 hours.
2. Grill on the stove for about 5 to 7 minutes, turning halfway through the cooking time. Serve over brown rice, with a side of steamed spinach. Serves 4-6.

Yeah, that’s right–the little scamp(i)s have better vision than every other freaking animal in the world. Go fig.

My favorite line in the article is “Just why Gonodactylus smithii needs this level of rarefied vision is unclear, although the researchers suspect it is to do with food and sex.” Because, really, what doesn’t have to do with food and sex?

But the article really got me thinking. I mean, I have bad vision. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was three years old. I now wear contacts, but, frankly, my astigmatism keeps them from being completely effective. But I wear ‘em anyway, because I am Vainy McVainstein. (Not to be confused with Veiny McVeinstein, who is a much less pleasant character.) But, as usual, I digress.

Here are the top 5 things I wish I could see (and which I WOULD see if God loved me and had let me be born as a shrimp):

(5) Robert Downey Jr. in his most, ahem, intimate moments.

(4) “90% Off” sales signs at Aldo.

(3) New in-the-works manuscripts by authors I like (for instance, Gary Shteyngart or Max Brooks, who actually I just now found out is the son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft–jeez).

(2) My future, but like, not all of it. Just the career stuff, I guess. And maybe a peek or two at other little details. You know, like everything.

(1) My boyfriend’s thoughts. WAIT, no, that would probably suck. Okay, (1) Robert Downey Jr. again.

If only I were a shrimp.

I grew up in a family that used just about any occasion to throw stuff on a grill and stand over it with tongs, and therefore, I’m completely licensed in the art of barbecology.

Some people can write math equations a mile along, some people can paint amazing pictures of a stormy sea, but yours truly…she can BBQ like nobody’s business.

I’ve been asked to share my knowledge of open-flamed gluttony with you.

JALAPENO, STUFFED WITH SHRIMP AND CHEESE, WRAPPED IN BACON.

The name might be long, but it’s tastefully accurate. These little treats impress the masses and leave you pondering whether pigs and shrimp were soulmates in past lives. Split jalapenos in half, smooth in cream or cheddar cheese. Plop a little shrimpy in there and wrap that sh*t in bacon. Booyah.

PINEAPPLE SLICES AND PEACH HALVES

Let them marinate in brown sugar for 15 minutes before grilling.

ASPARAGUS

Let it marinate in olive oil, salt, and lemon juice for 15 minutes before.

SALSA CHICKEN

It’s easy. Let chicken marinate in salsa, orange juice, lime, and pineapple for 30 minutes before grilling. You’ll be making friends with this one.

BEER STEAK & PORK

People tend to like beer. And red meat. Why not mix the two? Marinate your steak or pork in your choice of a light colored beer for 30 minutes before cooking.

And whatever you do, don’t grill bacon. My endlessly innovative friends decided to grill bacon on aluminum foil yesterday at my BBQ and a grease fire singed my friend’s facial hair. Is it funny now? Why, yes. Would it have been funny if his face were melted it off? No. Melted faces are not a joking matter.

BBQ safely, boys and girls.

Ah, the conundrum that is holiday office parties. More often than not, the liquor is plentiful and free, everyone’s in a good mood, and the hors d’oevres spread out all around you is some of the best food you’ve eaten in months.

Free liquor and all-you-can-eat miniature crab cakes?! What’s not to go crazy about?

But aye, there’s the rub. Getting liquored up and stuffing your face with scallops wrapped in bacon in front of your boss? Not the best idea. Screaming and running to the dance floor when the generic DJ starts up “Living on a Prayer” isn’t going to win you any mature points. Oh, and hitting on people you’re undoubtedly going to see the next morning bright and early?

Mistake.

So how is a person supposed to enjoy themselves but stay out of trouble this holiday office party season? Simple. Just follow a few straightforward rules.

#5) Eat something before you get to the party. Sure, there’s bound to be awesome food once you get there (even if your boss is cheap, there’ll be something. And hey, free food is good food), but going on an empty stomach spells trouble. You’ll get tipsy much faster, thus lowering your inhibitions much faster (jumping up onto the table and screaming how much you love your job? Whoops), increasing your chances of being “that girl from the first floor who ate all those pigs in a blanket and then threw up in the hallway”. Grab a granola bar or apple or even dinner before you go. Honestly, you’ll thank me later.

#4) Do not wear your usual partying clothes. A typical Friday night outfit is not the same as Monday morning work wear, and since you’re going to be surrounded by people who have only seen you in the Monday morning ensemble, whipping out the low-cut shirts and short skirts might make more of an impression than you want. Holiday office parties really aren’t the place to impress people with your awesome bod…especially if you’re trying to impress them with your awesome mind during the day.

#3) If a superior or co-worker seems like they might be hitting on you, RUN AWAY. Do not let a potentially drunk person put you or themselves in a compromising position. Everyone will regret it the next workday, and if someone higher on the food chain realizes they overstepped their bounds after one too many gin and tonics, you might be the one who feels the heat.

#2) Keep the sexy dancing (especially with that hot temp) to a minimal. Maybe don’t even do it at all. Gettin’ low in front of your co-workers gives people way too much access to your business…if you know what I mean.

#1) Do not, under any circumstances, get drunk. I know, I know, the free booze is tempting, but melting into sloppy disarray in front of people you work for is a surefire way to get overlooked come raise time. Besides, you know how people still talk about that guy at last year’s party who ran around with shrimp in his mouth? Poor bastard’s never been able to live it down.