Getting a man is tough stuff.  Getting a man to marry you…now that’s nearly impossible.  Luckily the stars can once again be our guides and help sad women everywhere navigate the rocky path to monogamy.  Get out a paper and pencil; you’ll want to remember all the golden advice recent celebrity brides are doling out.

Megan Fox

Do you wonder how nub thumbs found love?  It definitely wasn’t her intellect that attracted Brian Austin Green.  Dumb it down, way down, as you flaunt your boobs into a stable marriage based on good looks and empty conversation.  Take a note from our pro Megan: big words are off putting, just get some bootleg Angelina tattoos and never read something thicker than a comic book.  Follow these steps and soon you’ll be calling a 90210 has-been your husband.

Carrie Prejean

Homophobia is the newest aphrodisiac, apparently.  After bashing the gays’ right to marry, Ms. Prejean has somehow found true love with a good (and straight) man.  And he’s a quarterback!  Take note, men love a woman who hates on equal rights.  It’s unannounced whether the wedding vows will double as a platform speech on what it defines marriage and family, though you can guess Carrie will be glowing with hetero pride as she says her I Do’s.

Sienna Miller

Want to be more forgiving?  Take your ex-fiancé back after he cheats on you with the nanny.  Want to rebound?  Do it with a married man (but please make sure his children aren’t on the boat while you sun topless with their dad). Class is overrated when it comes to the desires of the male species.  Steal a few tricks from Sienna’s playbook and maybe Jude Law will be crawling under your sheets the night before his wedding.  It should be noted that a desirable woman also turns her head to her husband’s indiscretions.

Miranda Kerr

Just be a pretty person.  Like the earth shatteringly, heartbreakingly gorgeous type of pretty.  Men who look like Orlando Bloom don’t date ogres.

Bethenny Frankel

Her desire to become a proper housewife of New York drove her to…oops!…accidentally get pregnant with her BFs baby.  If your dude doesn’t want to commit to you, just trick him and throw a kid in the mix.  Remember: a shotgun wedding is a wedding all the same.

Jane Lynch

If all else fails, there are always women…

[While everyone is fabulous in their own right, we thought we should celebrate the campus fashionistas of the world for their continued excellence in not looking like a hot mess for class. So, we started stalking those girls on campus (like Ashley from Lakehead!) to get a few pics and get some tips on their personal style.

And maybe a restraining order or two.

But it’s worth it to highlight fresh, unique wardrobe choices that show personality and the courage to wear what you believe in. You think you've got some major style? Know someone else who's always looking ferosh? Think the world needs to see what she can do?  Send us an email with some photos and she could be the next fashionista celebrated right here.]

Allow me to introduce you to Tatomme, probably the only girl I’ve ever met who can truly pull off a chambray jumper. And by “pull off” I mean “work it like she’s got Rachael Zoe dressing her and she’s walkin’ down a runway.” I just met her this semester, and I was instantly impressed with her style.  We are in a few classes together right now – including being on a team in TV -  and I look forward to seeing what interesting and unique outfits she comes up with each day. She incorporates so many things that I could never pull off, and some I might even wonder why she ever thought to even try it on, but I always admire what she is wearing… and the creative mind that thought to put it all together.

I mean, those shoes and the jumper and that jacket? How did she ever know it would all work together? But it does. Flawlessly.

My favorite thing about Tatomme’s look, though, is that signature bag, which she casually slings across her body as we lug camera equipment across campus.  When I asked her about it, I learned that this Liz Claiborne bag originally belonged to Tatomme’s mom, who wore it when she was about our age.

Vintage, cute and sentimental…. I just love it.

Name: Tatomme Flanagan
Year: 2012
Major: Journalism

1) Describe your personal style
I shop in vintage stores.  I like older, funky looking clothing but with pieces from newer shops that I can add my own flair to.  I dress things up with accessories.  I love jewelry.

2) Complete this sentence: I can’t leave home without ____
As we’re just getting out of the winter season, my scarf, but also my purse and sunglasses.

3) What is your favorite store to shop in?
Vintage stores on Ossington Ave. in Toronto or H&M and Forever 21 for plain shirts.

4) What/who is your biggest style influence?
Sienna Miller – she is a trendsetter but doesn’t follow mainstream fashion.

5) What is your favorite trend, past or present?
High-waisted pants and skirts, baggy sweaters and Mary Kate & Ashely Olsen’s “homeless” look.

On Tatomme:
Jumper – American Apparel
Cardigan – Winner’s
Sneakers – Urban Outfitters
Bag – Mom’s closet

She makes me look like the Virgin Mary.

Miley Cyrus has some slutty sisters.

Hey there, Ryan Gosling. Come to mama.

Lady language decoded.

Who is this Alexa Chung chica?

Whoa, Britney’s lookin’ good!

Heck, I can even dig the change from heels to flip-flops and gladiator sandals. It’s so much easier to walk back to your room at four in the morning when you don’t have to worry about stepping on broken glass. However, there are a few fashion statements that I can never understand.

1. Wearing scarves when the weather drops below 70. I’m from NYC, so I thought I understood scarves. You wear them when it’s ten below zero to keep you face from freezing off. Or, on the off chance that you forget your concealer and turtleneck at home, you wear it to your Monday morning class to cover up the massive bruise on your neck. But nothing in the world will convince me that the thin piece of fabric wrapped three times around your throat is doing anything to keep you warm. Especially when all you’re wearing with it is a miniskirt and Uggs. This brings me to my next fashion complaint.

2. Uggs. Has anyone ever actually looked at these monstrosities? Everyone constantly complains about the loser who wear Crocs, but no one says a word about these bad boys. And I hate to break it to you, but they do not make your feet look cute. In fact, they are down-right hideous. I realize that they’re comfy. Flips-flops serve the same function. I understand that they’re warm. Wear comfy sneakers and toe socks, or even fur lined boots. Only please, could you wear shoes that don’t resemble a cross between something out of a Tolstoy novel and a six years old drawing? Uggs. Ugly. See the resemblance. Please don’t wear the shoes.

3. Tights (and leggings) as pants. I’m not sure who started the trend, but suddenly tights stopped being the geeky thing your mom told you to wear to your fourth grade Valentine’s Day party and started becoming a fashion staple. And I couldn’t be happier. I could wear dresses in the winter in NYC and not resemble an icicle. However, I have never once considered them as a substitute to pants. Why didn’t anyone else get this memo? I’m sure you’ve seen this before -  you’re in line at your cafeteria and you hear something crash. You turn towards the sound and you see a girl bending down to pick up her tray and you can see every curve of her ass through those tights.

Believe me – it’s not flattering. In fact, it’s like watching a train wreck. You know it’s going to scar you for life, but you just can’t look away. Why are girls doing this? We spend years trying to find those perfect jeans that minimize our butts while making our legs look longer. Then, in one fell swoop, you destroy any illusion that your thighs were naturally that skinny. Tights as pants do not look good on anyone, regardless of your size. They maximize every calorie and show off the body parts that you’re squeamish about showing in bed. So here’s a new rule: if you would never wear a top without the tights, please don’t wear it with them.

The weather is getting cooler, I’m getting lazier, and hats are starting to make more and more sense as the days go on.

And I’m no fashion prude either! I’m not one to judge the weird sh*t that makes their way into the malls and onto our bodies.

But, seriously guys, I read about this new trend in headwear that I just cannot not comment on.

Top hats. AHH!

Really? Really?!? No.

Mary Kate Olsen and Sienna Miller have been seen rocking these things and tons of people are taking notice, but I still have one question?

Are we suddenly interested in these things because they’re cool or because of some backwards irony? Are we so lazy that we can’t come up with new ideas so we convince ourselves that old-school top hats are back in?

What’s next? Petticoats? Hoop skirts?

Ugh. Just because an Olsen wears it doesn’t mean you should too.

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• Sienna’s got style and now you can too.

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• Trendspotting: Heavy Metal Tees are all the rage. Just ask Megan Fox.

• Tone your bod and libido at the same time – a whole new way to sexercise.

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• Celebs in the blogosphere. The 20 best and worst celebrity blogs.

• Facebook loves Hitler, but hates Gays.

Breaking up sucks, so you might as well get a good story out of it. None of this civil shit — I want tears in the eyes, blood on the walls, buttons off the shirts.

Unfortunately, most of my breakups have been rather tame. I keep my grudges to myself. Depending on the magnitude of the schism, I cope by going the patented Jennifer Aniston route (yoga, weed, Smart Water) or taking a ride on the pie highway to drown my sorrows. Either way, slander and slaughter are kept to a minimum; the only victim is me.

So, I don’t really understand crazy, dramatic breakups, but that doesn’t mean I can’t revel in them (read: laugh at) when they happen, especially in Brad-and-Jen Land. There are the sad ones, like Reese and Ryan and Jake and Kirsten which leave you a little deflated but ultimately make you feel better about yourself — because if they can’t make it work, who can?

And there are the messy ones, like when Claire Danes stole Billy Crudup from pregnant Mary Louise Parker (and then dumped him for Hugh Dancy…nice), or when Jude cheated on Sienna with the nanny. Classic.

And then there’s the plain – old weird breakups: let us not forget how Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes (RIP) burned down the house of her ex, or how Johnny Depp’s arm will always say “Wino Forever.” With the recent demise of Kate and Pete, I eagerly anticipate many more chapters in this file. Does anyone stay together these days?

For more reading pleasure, ivillage has compiled a list of the 12 Most Shocking Celebriting Breakups.

Celebrities are fun to write about and gawk at (if you’re lucky enough to encounter one in its native habitat), but I have a feeling I would just not be compatible with the likes of Lindsay or Paris or even that sweet – seeming Michelle Trachtenberg. It just wouldn’t work. I need downtime. Also, my cell phone is five years old and I look weird in sunglasses.

Sienna Miller, on the other hand, is the kind of girl I would kill to hang out with, or at least borrow clothes from. She’s my frush: friend – crush. She would be like the older sister I never had. We would eat scones and talk shit and wear ironic porkpie hats. If only she knew I was right here, waiting…

Do I sound creepy? Sorry, but the cool, original celebrities are so few and far between, and Sienna is the ultimate. She may have have no discernable talent, but she did Jude, is doing Diddy and still has the best sense of style out of anyone these days (with no help from that freaky Rachel Zoe).

So until Sienna wises up and realizes I’m her new bff, I can cling to siennastyle.org (still trying to figure out why it’s a .org, but whatever). This site is amazing — it catalogues dozens of Sienna’s best outfits, breaks them down, and tells you where to buy the pieces. I feel much better about myself now that I can look exactly like Sienna, and also that there are other people out there more obsessed than I am.

I know it’s scary to tread social waters sans the company of twenty of your best best friends, but take a second to consider some people of the moment and their preferred going-out decorum. Lindsay: always with an entourage. Result? Rehab. Britney: entourage. Result: rehab. Paris: entourage. Result: jail.

On the other side of the coin, you have cute, chic couplets of girls who travel lightly with people they actually might have genuine relationships with. There are the stalwart Olsens, the original, authentic friend – twins, cool as the day is long. New on the block is the dynamic duo of Keira Knightly and Sienna Miller, who make quite a complimentary and fine – boned couple (and are so close that they are reportedly shopping for vacation homes near each other).

These days, it’s almost better to go out with a hot girl rather than a hot guy (and the hot girl will always call you the next day to repeat the process, and then some). So free yourself from your wolfpack, find a friend who is willing to brave the crowds with you and you alone, nonchalantly coordinate your outfits and watch your lives change for the better.

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Who’s got the hottest bikini bod?