I am in the most amazing, secure and satisfying relationship I have ever been in but there is just one so-called “problem”; after nearly a year and a half, neither of us have said, “I love you.”

Now I know what this probably sounds like to some, or possibly even most, of you. (Believe me, I see it in the facial expressions of concerned friends and hear it in the tone of their strongly worded reactions.) There is obviously a clear issue here, right? Well, actually, I’m not so sure.

Now, to be honest, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that part of me (the part that sometimes, uncontrollably slips into this cliché, fairytale, chick flick inspired way of thinking that all love stories have basically 1 of 3 plots) at times wishes one of us would just find the courage to come out and say it already. I mean, it’s been long enough! And the pressure from friends and family who act like this is the biggest thing in the world to be concerned about, only adds fuel to this flame.

However, my usual, more sane, more rational and level-headed reaction to all of this is, “Who really cares?” Is actually saying that phrase really as significant or necessary as everyone our age makes it out to be? I mean, isn’t it true that actions should speak louder than words?

We are currently in a world where nearly every word in the “relationship dictionary” is rapidly being redefined. Take the word, meaning and supposed “sacredness” of marriage, for instance. It’s being entirely altered by things like the exceptionally high divorce rate (and the never ending publicity about celebrity divorces and adultery in the press). Or what about the many different names have we come up with in the last decade to define the new, modern, complicated relationships that keep arising: open relationship, no strings attached, friends with benefits, just hooking up… the list continues. Who even knows what the proper meaning and context of monogamy and love is these days. Read More »

I am in the most amazing, secure and satisfying relationship I have ever been in but there is just one so-called “problem”; after nearly a year and a half, neither of us have said, “I love you.”

Now I know what this probably sounds like to some, or possibly even most, of you. (Believe me, I see it in the facial expressions of concerned friends and hear it in the tone of their strongly worded reactions.) There is obviously a clear issue here, right? Well, actually, I’m not so sure.

Now, to be honest, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that part of me (the part that sometimes, uncontrollably slips into this cliché, fairytale, chick flick inspired way of thinking that all love stories have basically 1 of 3 plots) at times wishes one of us would just find the courage to come out and say it already. I mean, it’s been long enough! And the pressure from friends and family who act like this is the biggest thing in the world to be concerned about, only adds fuel to this flame.

However, my usual, more sane, more rational and level-headed reaction to all of this is, “Who really cares?” Is actually saying that phrase really as significant or necessary as everyone our age makes it out to be? I mean, isn’t it true that actions should speak louder than words?

We are currently in a world where nearly every word in the “relationship dictionary” is rapidly being redefined. Take the word, meaning and supposed “sacredness” of marriage, for instance. It’s being entirely altered by things like the exceptionally high divorce rate (and the never ending publicity about celebrity divorces and adultery in the press). Or what about the many different names have we come up with in the last decade to define the new, modern, complicated relationships that keep arising: open relationship, no strings attached, friends with benefits, just hooking up… the list continues. Who even knows what the proper meaning and context of monogamy and love is these days. Read More »

So Monday was David’s 23^rd birthday (!). I finally found the perfect gift and decided to get him this sweet watch he saw while I was perusing a magazine last month. I also picked up a really cool video game for him-but it turns out he already had it. Yea, massive gift fail on that one, but he was excited about the watch and already exchanged the game for one he doesn’t already own (note to self: check the DVD/ game drawer before buying David any form of entertainment in the future).

I decorated the kitchen and dining room with these adorable flag banners cut out of different patterned scrapbooking paper. I wrote some of my favorite things about him on another sheet of scrapbooking paper to turn into his place mat. Then I turned on Sports Center, got a Bud Light ready for when he walked through the door, threw on some lingerie and started grillin’ up some surf-n-turf.

I was so nervous for him to get home, I don’t know why, but my hands were literally shaking when I heard the door open. He was so surprised and happy, it was the cutest thing. All I wanted to do was make him happy, but seeing how much he genuinely appreciated everything just melted my heart. And it reminded me how lucky I am.

When people ask me what it’s like having been in a long-term relationship throughout my entire college career, my answers usually vary. Sometimes I’m defending my choice to those who think I’m insane for not – ahem – taking advantage of all the hot, young guys surrounding a college gal. Sometimes I’m playing down David’s sheer awesomeness to jealous friends. Most of the time I talk about how amazing it is to have someone who constantly offers me love and support (who’s not, ya know, my Mom and Dad). But too often I forget about the flip side of the equation. Read More »

I don’t know about every other college out there, but here at UT it’s time for people to start planning their living arrangements for the fall. Some people greet this time with the panic of trying to find a decent place to live that isn’t a ga-billion dollars, while others are excited for their first apartment with their best friends (no matter how much it costs). However, for those who’ve been in a relationship for quite a while, this time might be a time to take a big step forward and ask “what if I just lived with my boyfriend?”

As most of you know, this is the route I took. I went from dorm rooms my freshman and sophomore years to living with Matt now in my junior year. It’s been quite a trip and I definitely have some things to share about living with your significant other. Before you take the plunge, it’s good to know what you’re getting yourself into. Allow me to help.

First of all, let me say that I absolutely love living with Matt. I love waking up next to him, even if he has stinky morning breath. (I’ll admit, my morning breath is actually in all likelihood worse than his). That being said, let’s walk through the ups and the downs of cohabitation: Read More »

Perusing College Candy’s fancy new cyber-digs this morning, I stumbled on this article, that I somehow missed the first time around. This article and its attendant comments cracked me up, and got me thinking about, of all things, a certain TV show you may have heard of. Ever seen the Sex and the City episode where Carrie admits that when she’s alone, she likes to stand at the kitchen counter eating crackers with jelly on them and reading Vogue, or something like that? And labeled it “secret single behavior’?

I am no devotee of SATC, but I thought that phrase was pretty genius, and started to think about the things I do when I’m totally, gloriously alone.

Now that we’re in the phase of life where living with roommates and/or significant others is par for the course, I find myself missing the weirdest things from time to time. Singing is a big one for me. Singing along to entire musical soundtracks or pop albums or whatever suits my fancy – and I mean headphones-in, top-of-my-lungs singing – while I re-organize my closet for the zillionth time and leave the rest of my room a mess.

Oooooh, or eating a plateful of random, unrelated finger/snack foods for dinner, like cheese with crackers and olives and slices of avocado and frozen spring rolls and Oreo cookies and probably an enormous bottle of coke zero (or wine, depending on the day). Eaten while sitting on the floor and watching Veronica Mars on DVD.  The list goes on. Read More »

Why does breaking up suck so much? No, I don’t mean the broken hearts, the swapping of past birthday / anniversary / Valentine’s gifts, or the empty void on his half of the bed. I mean, why does the actual act of breaking up suck so much?

You’re in a relationship. Obviously, there’s something compatible between you and your partner. But once the break-up hits, BAM! Everything changes. It’s very difficult to get back to the friendship level, if possible at all.

Breaking up doesn’t just mean you’ve lost a mate, but a really good friend as well. In fact, you’ve probably lost several friends, because now it’s taboo for either of your own friends to associate with the other’s ex. It could also mean you’ve lost a confidante, a study pal, a Guitar Hero partner (or the entire game, if it was his!), a personal chef, or whatever your now-ex used to do that made the relationship special.

It also means a definite disturbance in many, most, or all of your daily routines. Whether you called each other every day to talk through your commutes to school, or you were living together, suddenly, there’s something missing. And even if the break-up was necessary or inevitable, that void is a gaping hole in your life. That keeps getting bigger. And just won’t go away. Read More »

When it comes to ending a relationship gone bad, there’s a right way to make the break (and it doesn’t involve leaving an “It’s over, I’m sorry” note for your significant other to discover under her door or in her inbox). In “Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Her” you learned when the break-up is inevitable, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to do the actual breaking-up. Instead of procrastinating, we have a few ideas to guide you through this unpleasant confrontation.

1. Tell her first

Don’t let her find out you want to break up with her from her cousin who knows a girl who overheard a guy who talked your dad who thinks he heard from your best friend. You obviously care somewhat about this girl if she is your girlfriend. So, out of respect for her, it’s only right that she be the first to know about it.

2. End it face-to-face

Be a man. Don’t call her, text her or email her this kind of news. She will probably want to talk to you after you break it to her and there is no other way to have a serious conversation with her unless you do it in person. Read More »

Okay, okay, I may be a bit biased on this topic, due to my heartbreak three years ago at the end of my freshman year of college. But every year around this time, I get a little nostalgic about this issue.

All of my first year, I dated a boy from high school who went to college 14 hours away from me, and we somehow managed to make it through the whole year with visits, emails, and a hefty phone bill. I could not wait to get home for the summer and live in the same town again. But, upon returning, it was evident that things were different between us and he broke up with me. I was devastated and could not understand why this had happened. What did I do wrong?

The thing that I wish someone had told me originally is that, in college, people CHANGE, in some way or another, no matter what. And that’s not always a bad thing! I know I have grown into who I am over these four years and feel confident in what I want to do with my life and how I will get there.

Read More »

There are a million things we wish we could ask our boyfriends and for one reason or another, we feel like it’s not appropriate to do so.

Is this normal and healthy or is it adding unnecessary strain to a relationship?

Is there such thing as knowing (or asking) too much?

We here at College Candy think that making what you feel or want known is one of the most important things in a relationship but we want to know what you think!

Should you ever ask the following questions to your significant other?

Is it OK to ask your guy…

• …to buy tampons for you?