So, we all know who Carrie Prejean is.
And I’m pretty sure we’re all sick of her.

But just in case you weren’t completely and utterly tired of Miss California (yes, she is still Miss CA) and her shenanigans, we came up with 5 new ideas for her to try to keep herself in the limelight for just a liiittle bit longer. If none of these work, perhaps bunking up with Spencer Pratt would help. We can’t seem to get rid of him no matter how hard we try.

1) Create her own line of Prejean Panties (bras not included). Evidently, Prejean think bras, or any tops, are overrated. At least, she likes posing without them. While Prejean said herself, “I am not perfect,” we imagine she will soon follow that up with, “But I can make your butt look that way!”

2) Start her own blingin’ jewelry line on QVC. She obviously doesn’t have enough shiny, glittery, oversized, tacky ice already. So why not start her own line? If she makes those hoops just a little bit longer, they may even cover her exposed chest!

3) Create a fund for small-breasted girls who dream of competing in beauty pageants. Because you can’t win a beauty pageant without fake breasts. And because all women need to feel good about themselves. According to the Pageant organizers (who paid for Prejean’s boob job), the best way for women to land this confidence is by cutting up their bodies and inflating themselves with silicon! (We thought you looked better in those nude pics before the boob job, Carrie.) Carrie is all about helping people, so this would be the perfect way to give back.

4) Become a reality TV show host. We’re all getting a little sick of Tyra and ANTM, so let’s bring another annoying D-List celeb into the forefront!  “America’s Next Top Bimbo” could be a real hit! She could teach the contestants how to strut and pose topless, all the while spreading Jesus love. Or maybe “I Can Make You Straight!” where she takes more nude photos of herself and shows them to gay men in an effort to straighten them out to live in “her” country. I hear Fox calling!

5) Start a campaign denouncing same-sex marriage. Oh wait. She has that one covered.

The way this girl has been eating up the media attention, we wouldn’t be surprised if she took a stab at rapping. Watch out, Asher Roth!

But that is the unfortunate truth for some Church-goers in L.A.

You would never guess by looking at her, but it seems that Heidi Montag is quite a religious little lady. And she’s bringing Spencer along for the ride. Sure, she values boobs over life and has probably broken all 10 commandments…daily, but she loves God! And church! And (getting Chanel bags for) Christmas!

Anyways, Pratt recetly revealed his new love for Jesus in an interview with Us Weekly.

“I’m a work in progress. I’d never been to church until I met Heidi,” he tells Yo on E!. “She got me to go — it was a big step. The walls shook a little bit as I first cruised in, but Jesus and I are making the connection.

“I’m trying to live a more positive, holy life, but it takes work,” he adds. “It’s hard not sinning, you know?”

I didn’t know churches let people like Spencer in. And I know Jesus loves everyone, but Spencer Pratt? I get this feeling he may make an exception for him. I mean, this dude made a deal with the devil and is poisoning the world with his….everything.

Let’s just hope this new religious leaf Spencer is turning over will change him. And not in a, “Heidi is making a Christian album” sort of way.

Please, God, don’t let it happen.

(Note: I can’t believe I just wrote a post with the words “Jesus” and “Spencer Pratt” in it. Forgive me for I have sinned.)