Last week, my male friend over at COED Magazine shared his thoughts on how we ladies handle life after a break up. And let me just say, I haven’t LOLed that hard since the first time I watched this. (OMG. Just watched it again. HILARIOUS.)

It’s just so amusing to think about how little guys know about us (Note: I’m sure it was just as ROTFL-worthy for Paul when he read my thoughts on guys after a break-up); how they think we just bounce right back, better than ever, immediately following “the talk.” I mean, that’s not a bad thing. Their assumptions are way less disturbing (and pathetic) than the reality for most of us.

A reality which I’m about to lay out, in all it’s honest glory.

So let’s break down some walls and let it all hang out:

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Lesson 24: Nicholas Sparks Is Not The Author Of Your Life

If you have yet to endure the torture that is a Nicholas Sparks movie marathon, I highly suggest you look into it purely as a service to yourself. Though the sappy movies seem out of place in single girl world, they’re actually a pretty effective learning tool – of what not to do.

Nicholas Sparks, author of our favorite tear jerking, secret guilty pleasure movies, shared the formula to his book-to-movie love stories. “(Romances) are all essentially the same story: You’ve got a woman, she’s down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he’s got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after,” Sparks said.

While the roller coaster dramas from the likes of The Notebook and Dear John work beautifully on your television screen, they don’t transfer so well into reality. Even as Sparks’ novels point out some valid points about love, like that it can happen unexpectedly or that it can change a person or it’s tendency for turbulence, it’s imperative that single girls not set a “Nicholas Sparks Standard” for their love lives. Read More »

Lesson 23: Summer and Single Go Hand in Hand

There’s nothing like finals time to stress you out enough to make you forget that your last few dates were total flops. Caught up in the chaos of studying for a cumulative exam created by the most cruel of professors, there is a sigh of relief in knowing that your single life is the last thing on your mind, if only for a week. But what’s a girl to do with a suddenly cleared up summer schedule and no summer romance lined up?

First things first, do what makes you happy. This isn’t the summer before your senior year in high school when all you and your girlfriends did all summer was hang out at the skate park watching the same lame guys from school hook ollies and talk about the NBA playoffs. In college, so much of our school year is spent doing things for others – sororities, your loser ex-boyfriend, professors who refuse to acknowledge that their class isn’t the only one you’re taking – but the summer is the one time that is truly ours to do whatever we want. The best thing you can do for the three months of sweet respite before fall and it’s accompanying stresses barge back into your life is take this time for yourself and make it your own.

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Lesson 21: Forget Happily Ever After

Disney princesses from Cinderella to Sleeping Beauty, even Nala of The Lion King, have taught us from our childhood to look forward to some sort of “happily ever after.” Since our days of insisting on wearing our Disney princess Halloween costumes at completely inappropriate times (like your uncle’s wedding) we’ve desperately clung onto the notion that “happily ever after” would someday be all ours. As teenagers we claimed not to care about Prince Charming while we secretly screened each boyfriend, wondering if he was going to be the last man standing in our own charmed versions of a Disney romance. Now in college, we’re in the process of making our dreams come true and yet somehow Prince Charming keeps slipping through our fingers in a not-so-Disney fashion.

Believe me girl, I’ve been there.

Look, “happily ever after” is great and all, but how can you place so much happiness on something you haven’t even had yet? Every time you fuel the fire on achieving your own happy ending, you take away from the happiness you already have. Read More »

Lesson 20: Take a personal time-out.

So, you’re single, huh? Maybe it’s time to reevaluate whether or not you’ve really taken advantage or it. I know what you’re thinking, “What could I possibly have to take advantage of besides the sale on single serving frozen vegetables?” And while I fully support fulfilling your five servings a day, I think it’s time to branch out. Alone.

This past Saturday morning, it was a particularly gorgeous sunny day in my city and I knew I wanted to spend it outside. I called the guy I’ve been seeing recently and asked him if he wanted to tag along but his hangover had the best of him (over the toilet) so I wished him luck and decided to hit a local greenbelt solo. With my iPod, a Nalgene water bottle and time on my hands I wandered down the trails and couldn’t help but feel like I never wanted it to end.

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Lesson 14: Sometimes a hookup is just a hookup.

So after a few too many neon blue shots, you’ve let yourself throw caution to the wind and you’ve found yourself in a pretty disconcerting position with your crush or even worse, a guy friend. In the heat of the moment, you’ve shared a steamy night with a guy that’s got you reelin’ for more, not just physically but emotionally, too.

You start to let your mind wander all of the places you’d never let it before, maybe because he was always just a good friend or because you finally got some kind of response from the crush you’ve had for what feels like forever now. While you’re probably not picking up bridal magazines, unleashing all your crazy, you can’t help but wonder what the two of you could be like together, even if you already know it could never work out with him.

Blame it on the female tendency to attach emotion to sexual activity, but there are just some of us girls out there, who cant help but overthink something as primal and physical as hooking up. No need to be ashamed – after all, it’s only natural! And why shouldn’t you connect sexual activity to emotion? For many girls, sex is a deeply personal thing. Read More »

Thanks for joining us this week and I hope you were able to take away some do’s and don’ts, what you’re not missing, and, of course, the real reason of Valentine’s Day:

Love.

Here are three more ways to get more love into your Valentine’s Day. Because at the end of the day, and I’m talking about every day, who doesn’t want more love?

And that’s that. So what are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

Eating a cookie tin, 4 at a time, in your undies? Definite don't.

So it’s day 4 of our week long motivational kick in the ass to get all you single ladies out there to see Valentine’s Day in a new, positive way.

First we reminded you of all the wonderful (pause….NOT!!!) things you’re missing by not being in a relationship.

Then we showed you that your laptop/cell phone/iPad are not acceptable Valentine’s Day dates. Yes, even if there is an App for that.

And then we talked about showing yourself some love (not like that.…well, maybe like that if you’ve got the room to yourself and a little free time on your hands…) on V-Day.

And today, Brittany from The College Crush is going to tell you what you shouldn’t be doing come February 14th. That is if you want to maintain your sanity, dignity, friends and chances at love down the road. Which, you know, you should.

Ready? OK! Read More »

[Check out the first motivational kicks in the ass for a Kick Ass Valentine's Day right here and here.]

Whether you are single or taken, it all plays out the same: in disappointment that someone else has let you down yet again.  Why not get down to what Valentine’s Day is really about – love – and instead of waiting for someone else to make you happy, why not do it yourself?  What do you LOVE to do?  What makes you happy?  You know what your needs are, you know how they need to be met, so go ahead and be your own attentive little date and take care of yourself.

Jenny Jen from Blonde Bronzed Twenty-something thinks this is the approach we should all take. And if others want to do something kind and generous for us all-too worthy ladies too, then that’s just the icing on the Valentine’s Day cake. Read More »

Yeahhh, that's just creepy.

[Check out the first motivational kick in the ass for a Kick Ass Valentine's Day right here.]

So did everyone see the Hallmark commercial plugging Valentine’s Day? If you haven’t seen it, you’ll love this: “Valentine’s Day isn’t about I love you, it’s about I love us.” Commercials like these can make any single woman want to bang her head against a heart-shaped box of Russell Stover chocolates.

Luckily, this year Valentine’s Day falls on a Monday which gives all the single ladies multiple options to choose from:

1) Ignore it completely.
2) Use it as an excuse to go out and spy awkward and over priced dates.
3) Stay home with friends and catch up on your Netflix. After all, The Social Network is available on DVD and who better than a lonely Jesse Eisenberg in a hooded GAP sweatshirt to make you feel better about your own dating life? Read More »