See ya later, Single Status!

It’s weird how it happens. One day you’re screaming “THIS IS MY SONG!” every time “Single Ladies” comes on at the bar, and the next…well, you’re doing the same thing, but it’s not actually true. After just over two years of being the most single person on the planet, I actually took the dive. It happened really unexpectedly with a cute acquaintance I have known for years. We started talking a little more, and things took off out of nowhere.

I used to want to jack people in the face when they said, “When you stop looking for a boyfriend, you’ll get one.” And even though that is exactly what happened, that’s still really annoying advice. I think I hate it largely because it takes the situation out of your hands; as if you have to be in some sort of cosmic state of perfect personal balance just to get a damn date. I think a better way to phrase the advice is this:

Beating yourself up over not having a boyfriend or becoming depressed that “there’s no one out there” isn’t going to make your perfect mate appear out of thin are. There are times when 5 guys ask you out in a week, and there are times when your only male interaction for months is with your Environmental Science professor (hopefully not the wrong kind of interaction…). You can control your love life, but only to a certain extent. You don’t completely control who you meet, when you meet them, or (even as much as we try) how they feel about you. Read More »

“My Boyfriend” is a phrase many of us single ladies would like to add to our vocabulary.

Some of us are the Charlottes who are happy knowing at the end of the day there is a guy that will be thinking about us before we fall asleep. Some of us are the Samanthas who are happy knowing we have a guy we can shag before we fall asleep. Ahh, and then there are those in between-ers like myself. We want someone to love and shag us before we tuck in for the night.

Whichever category you fall into, it’s no wonder we’re all looking for that special person to “complete” us.

Having a boyfriend brings about a sense of pride and accomplishment. It gives us all feelings of worth, self esteem and validation. Oh, and a serious case of the butterflies.

As sad as that may be, it’s the truth. Sure, the powerful and independent woman can find all of that on her own, but the fact is we’ve been taught our whole lives to want a boyfriend. Case in point: romantic movies. Those friggin’ things don’t do jack sh!t for a single girl besides motivate those starry-eyed expectations of how the majority of real guys act. Homegirl, I’m not talkin’ only about movies along the lines of “The Notebook” either. Those Disney Princess movies of carpet rides and glass slippers laced our childhood hopes of boyfriends with metaphorical crack before we got our training wheels off.

So yes, I want a boyfriend! You want a boyfriend! Your dog wants a boyfriend! Read More »

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[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Ex-boyfriend calls out of the blue (at 3 am).

Although it would be mighty enjoyable to deny your calls during daylight hours, I just couldn’t muster up the proper amount of excitement about ignoring you as I was attempting to sleep. At 3 am. As most (okay some) college students are doing on Wednesday nights. It was, in fact, incredibly irritating to listen to my phone vibrating violently until it buzzzzed right off my nightstand, unplugged itself from my charger and died early the next morning, preventing me from whiling away my classes with interesting texts and Facebook stalking.

It seems that you still find ways to annoy the sh*t out of me, even technologically! Your call was especially appreciated by my new (and way better) boyfriend, who happened to be sleeping next to me and was quite frankly a little pissed off for the entire next day due to sleep deprivation and extreme annoyance with you. The only consolation I got from your obnoxious ass was the touching voicemail you left me (I believe you were crying) slurring on and on about how great I am. Well, I think it’s a little too late for that, mister, and so does everyone else who listened to it (aka 48 of my sorority sisters with a tendency to gossip)–although they did get a great laugh out of listening to your blubbering for 3 minutes. Read More »

For many of us single girls, Valentine’s Day sucks. All the lovey dovey couples and cards and PDA sessions make us want to vomit.

And all the V-Day mumbo jumbo has been infiltrating our lives and reminding us that we are alone since freaking Christmas Day.

There are many other days in the year when being single rocks, and a lot of us are completely fine with our not-so-relationship status, but something about the cutesy gifts and the kissing couples brings a lot of girls down.

But it doesn’t have to! With all that annoying looove stuff comes some awesome Valentine’s Day goodies. In the form of chocolate and booze. That you can enjoy regardless of your single status.

So here are some treats you can make with your single friends, buy on clearance on February 15, or, since V-Day is on a Saturday, truly drown your single sorrows with. Read More »

It’s 2009. In an attempt to play it safe, I only made three, fairly simple New Years resolutions: 1) Take one picture every day 2) Implement the word “dig” into my vocabulary and 3) Stay. away. from. douchebags and enjoy being single!

So far, I’ve broken all but one. So, I created this mix so with the intention that listening to it with my girls before I hit the bars this weekend will prevent me from going home with any random loser I might meet (or any douchebag-y ex-boyfriends I might run into).

So I invite all of you to celebrate being single/hating whatever loser lasted screwed you over with this classic Single Ladies/Girl Power pregame playlist.

Not only does Beyonce have some sick moves, but the lady knows what she’s talking about. Her other song (you know, the one that doesn’t talk about putting a ring on it), If I Were A Boy, got me thinking: what would it be like to be a guy for a day?

Even more, what would it be like if a guy spent a day in my boobs shoes?

Life is quite different when you have a va-jay, so it would be an interesting experience. I know it is far from possible – unless you are willing to make a long-term change – but I asked a guy anyway. Has he ever thought about it? What would he learn? How different are men and women, really?

See what he had to say (before we started fighting): Read More »

Vampires on the prowl in LA.

How many countries can you name in 5 minutes?

ABC cancels a whole bunch of TV shows.

Angelina controls the media.

How to get discounts on beauty products!

George Clooney looks like a hot mess.

Single ladies aren’t the only ones putting a ring on it

How to avoid having sex.

Chocolates for Thanksgiving.

Tips for studying for finals without losing your head.

Apparently, Beyonce has an alterego. Kind of like how Garth Brooks did that whole Chris Gaines thing.

In her latest album, “I Am…Sasha Fierce,” Miss B introduces us to Miss Sasha Fierce, her more sensual, outgoing alterego. The record is split into two discs. On Sasha’s disc, you hear upbeat dance tunes, like “Single Ladies”; while on Beyonce’s disc songs like “If I Were a Boy” make up most of the playlist.

But if you ask me, this Sasha character looks like a boy…dressed as a girl.

What is the purpose of this alterego BS anyway? It didn’t work for Garth…because no one bought it.

WTF Beyonce? I mean, we love your music! Why confuse us by throwing your identity crisis in the mix?

Regardless the album rocks…hopefully for the next one she’ll drop her tranny-friend Sasha and just be herself.