I’ve decided that in life, there are two types of women. Number one is the E! lady. She lives life like a season one Kardashian – care free, smiling, fearlessly fab with a Netflix-size queue of dates all of the time. And then you have the ABC dating special woman.

For those of you who are unaware, the ABC dating special was a segment that aired a few years ago which haunts some women to the core. Someone did a study about how black women are least likely to find a suitable mate because of the lack of eligible men in the world. They’re either locked up or in jail…or so they say. The ABC dating special is something that’s been talked about ever since it aired, and I remember nearly every word.

These women were brilliant, successful, beautiful, well-coiffed and well-dressed. Total catches. So why in the heck didn’t they have men? Read More »

Over the past year, I’ve shared over 50 lessons that I’ve learned in my single life to remind you that being single is more than a table for one (even when you’re eating a meal portioned for two), or going dateless to you’re cousin’s wedding — it’s a way of life.

Here are my top 10 favorite rules to live by while you’re single:

initiating the gallery...

Dear Mom,

Lately you’ve been giving me an earful about how “my generation” is somewhat selfish, immature and materialistic, which is evident in our relaxed, no-rush approach to marriage, babies and careers. You’ re not being mean, just observational. “Your generation” started younger, so to say; marriage, babies and careers happened in your twenties not your thirties as it does more often in today’s world. Although you strongly believe it is different for everyone, you seem to have a special standard for me personally. You were married with your first kid by the time you were twenty-five…and that was after being a fashion merchandising buyer for the once popular clothing store A&S. (Superwoman.) You never had a problem with me being single until I turned twenty in September of this year. All of a sudden my relationship status has become a constant topic of conversation. I know you want what’s best for me mom but I have to be honest. With all due respect, Mom, I don’t want a boyfriend.

My friends and siblings are in relationships and I am so very happy for them because I get it — relationships are great. But right now I am at a place in my life where being single is great for me. Here’s why… Read More »

Regardless of your relationship status, there will be situations and the people that stir them up, who at any point in time, will have you questioning what’s really important in life. It just so happens, though, that probability of that sort of drama infiltrating your life spikes when you’re single. There are some people who take the dating game a little too seriously, who extract meanings from things everybody else thinks are harmless, and more often than not, those people are looking for someone to blame. Luckily, the Single Girl Society has you covered with a general rule of thumb on how to deal with people who don’t always have your best interest in heart, or for that matter, don’t even really have a heart.

Lesson #47: When it comes to people: If they’re toxic, cut them out, and if they’re people you wish you could be more like, hold them tight.

There really only are two kinds of people in our lives: life ruiners — those that make you wonder how you’ll get by; and life savers — those who you wouldn’t be able to get through the hardship without. Read More »

Lesson #43 – Don’t Fall For A Weed In A Flower’s Suit

When I was younger, I used to spend afternoons collecting bouquets of what I thought, at the time, were wildflowers. When I skipped into my house, unaware of the mud stains on my clothes, and too consumed with my new bunch of handpicked flowers, my mother would always shake her head and laugh at me. As she put my handpicked bouquet into a paper cup, she’d smile and say, “These are just weeds with cute outfits.” Looking back, I wish I would’ve taken her input more seriously, because as soon as I started dating, I quickly learned her advice applied to more than just gardening.

When it comes to guys, why is that the worst weeds disguise themselves as flowers? As my luck would’ve have it, the most annoying weeds that I can’t seem to get rid of in my dating life were the guys that caught my eye first. This theory even goes beyond looks. (Not to say I haven’t been drawn to an impeccably dressed guy rocking a crisp Brooks Brothers’ shirt and tie, only to realize that his good sense of style was just about the only good thing about him…) It seems like the life of the party guy — who may not even be the most attractive flower in the bunch, but certainly had the most entertaining personality — has also turned out to be one of the biggest weeds in my life. Read More »

I try not to draw inspiration for these columns from movies, as they are not reality, but sometimes a movie comes along and gets me thinking. Last night, I dug up an old favorite, Some Kind of Wonderful, and settled into my couch. As I re-watched the classic, I found myself disgruntled with a particular quote despite having seen it several times before.

The infamous Amanda Jones so famously said, “I’d rather be with someone else for the wrong reasons than alone for the right.”

Lesson #39 – So you’re alone, so what?

Of course, ironically Amanda Jones ends up alone but I think that we’re fooling ourselves if we don’t believe there are girls in the world who don’t subscribe to the belief that anything is better than being alone. When did being single become a stepping stone between boyfriends? When did we all lose ourselves in the dating rat race and forget that we can stand alone as individuals? Read More »

Sometimes the hardest parts about being single are not the phone calls from your older sister asking you if you have a date yet for her upcoming wedding or trying to walk past the couples interlocking fingers as they walk hand in hand to class. Instead, the hardest part about being single can be the things we never really consider, like just how depressing it is to reach for a box of Just For One frozen vegetables every week. This week’s column is different than the usual dating tips but just as integral to a single girl’s life.

Lesson #38 – Cooking For One

As far as being a domestic goddess is concerned, I’ll take a TV dinner with a glass of wine if it’ll save me time at the end of a long school day and 112 degree weather. Cooking is more than time consuming, and cooking for one can be a challenge. No matter what, it seems like I never master cooking the right amount, always ending up with too much or not enough. And while I doubt I’ll ever be one of those people who finds cooking at the end of the day soothing and relaxing, I’ve picked up a few tricks that have made it tolerable and quick enough for my constantly thinning patience. Read More »

Lesson 36 – You don’t have to give up your peep-toes be a guy’s girl.

My first serious boyfriend lived in a house with four other guys, where pizza night was every night, Miller Light was considered the nectar of gods and the closest thing to window treatments were posters of Anna Kournikova. After two years of being the only girlfriend who stuck around, while my boyfriend’s four roommates’ brought by virtually every Ashley, Chelsea and Lindsey within county lines, I couldn’t take it anymore. I finally asked my boyfriend to tell me what these poor girls were doing wrong or if his friends were just womanizing douchebags. He laughed and he said, “Mostly my friends are just jerks, but then again the girls who walk in and out of here don’t really make an effort to fit in, they sit here in their mini-skirts and high heels and laugh nervously and smile the whole time, you can tell they’re not comfortable.” Ever since then I haven’t been able to shake this whole concept of being a guy’s girl.

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Lesson #35 – Girl Talk can kill your dating life

Sometimes as a single girl in college it feels like your dating life is split in two halves—one spent actually dating guys and the other spent in coffee shops with your girlfriends talking about dating said guys. So if half of our dating world is actually spent dating, what exactly is the other half spent on? I’d say probably too many lattes and not enough sensible advice. I’m as guilty as the next girl. I say I don’t want to talk about something and sure enough 20 minutes later, my friends have pulled it out of me and now I’ve somehow connected something as minute as my guy not noticing my new slingbacks to his daddy issues that I’ve now taken the liberty of convincing myself he has, even though he clearly doesn’t. So girls analyze their love lives, what’s new, right?

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There’s always going to be that one girl in your group of friends who seems to take personal pride in your current single status. Regardless of whether she’s single or not, or even somewhere in between (aka dating some aspiring rapper who has a recurrent gig at the local BBQ joint with his not-so-talented beat-boxing cousin), it seems the night hasn’t ended until she’s gone out of her way to make you feel bad about your single life. Since a bitchy attitude has yet to hold up as a reasonable excuse for murder in court, just know there are plenty of other ways to deal with Miss I-Hate-My-Life-So-I’m-Going-To-Make-You-Hate-Yours-Too.

Lesson #34 – How To Deal With A Mean Girl, maturely and not-so-maturely.

First, you can follow your mom’s advice and brush her and her snide remarks off. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and she has given me some amazing life advice (examples include, “When it comes to coffee stains, dab, don’t rub” and my personal favorite, “It’s time you found some inner peace, dammit”) but let’s face it, there are just some days you don’t feel like being the bigger person. I respect the girls who can walk away from every snide comment, just like our mothers preached, because it really does takes more empowerment to walk away. But on days when you get sick of ignoring Miss Thang and her attitude, you can try some of these methods. Read More »