"So....Emmy....where's your boyfriend?"

Like nearly every other college student on the face of the planet, Thanksgiving Break is something that I am eagerly anticipating. The dorms are always busy and fun, but everyone appreciates a little break now and then. There’s nothing quite like going home, eating my dad’s brownies, watching movies with my sister, and taking my dog along on runs.

I do love the holiday of Thanksgiving as well. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, pie, and my little cousins dressed up as pilgrims, all my extended family gathered into my Grandma’s kitchen to say grace. I am blessed with a crazy bizarre extended family, the best kind to have in my opinion, and they are always the highlight of my holidays.

But as much as I love them all to death, sometimes their questions can be a bit too much. While I appreciate their interest in my life, I don’t feel the need to explain the details of the break up with my long term boyfriend to my uncle while waiting in line for cranberry sauce. Similarly, having my conservative aunt question me about boys that I might marry while she calmly serves out pumpkin pie just takes away my appetite!

Now, I understand that my aunt grew up in a very different culture than I do. Yet it truly does make my stomach full of turkey turn to hear this woman I am related to tell me that the most important thing for me to do in college is to meet the man I am going to marry. I love my aunt, but this idea of success disgusts me.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I definitely picture marriage eventually in my life plan. And I have nothing against people in long term relationships. Up until recently, I was one of them myself! Read More »

When I broke up with my last boyfriend I was ecstatic to have my personal time back. It had been a long time since I’d had my own routine and I couldn’t wait to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I had grand plans of daily visits to the gym, cooking my weird healthy meals and eating them on the couch while watching marathons of Say Yes To The Dress.

I gained ten pounds during that relationship and while he didn’t care – he loved seeing me in the buff despite the extra junk in my trunk – I was ready to take back the control of my life, shed the extra weight, and hit the single scene with my svelte new frame.

Only the reality was so, so different.

Not only is the single scene rather sad and over-saturated with douche bags, but being single is actually making me fatter!

There is something to be said about having someone around, and not just for the comfort and companionship that comes with a boyfriend. Passing the time with someone else keeps your mind occupied so you’re talking and cuddling and giggling instead of mentally surveying what’s in your fridge. And, not that I care about eating in front of a boy (trust me – I ate a burger and fries in front of some models once), but having anyone around forces me to check myself before I start grazing through the cupboards and housing anything I can get my hands on. Now that I’m alone I’m to my own devices, and apparently those devices involve dipping everything into peanut butter, whether I’m hungry or not.

And forget the gym. Since I don’t have anyone to look good for, I often give in to that fat little devil sitting on my shoulder and trade in Spinning time for catching-up-on-my-DVR time. I keep telling myself I’ll go tomorrow; I have so much free time, why wouldn’t I go? But then I don’t go. I put on sweats, think of things to melt cheese on and retire to the couch for the rest of the night. Read More »

Single. Free. Blissfully happy.

[Alright ladies, let's give a big CollegeCandy welcome (Read: raise those shot glasses!) to our new single lady! Her name is Emmy and she's a single gal living it up in Chi-town. She's hot, smart...and nowhere near ready to put a ring on it.]

Back in August, my mother and I were standing in Target debating exactly which organizational bins I would need for college when she turned to me and said, “Emmy, please don’t date anyone seriously at the beginning of college. I really don’t want you to get tied down too early.”

Alright, so this was a random topic of discussion for the Home Organization aisle of Target, but I still found myself taking my mom’s opinion seriously. After all, the woman knew her stuff when it came to under-bed storage, so surely she was a wise sage in all things relationship. The truth is, staying single for the beginning of college had been my plan anyway. I dated the same boy for the last three years of high school and being single is a relatively new experience for me. One that I am figuring out and not yet ready to give up. The breakup process was beyond painful, but now I am learning to really enjoy being a single girl. Read More »

While signing my life away last year… I mean, my apartment lease… many things crossed my mind:

1)   No more crappy cafeteria food!
2)   Yay for bonding! We’ll be all up in each other’s business all the time.
3)   We’ll have so much in common – we all have boyfriends!

Now this has become two (sorta) truths and a lie. I went from cafeteria food to massive amounts of frozen food shipped from my loving mother. (What can I say? She refused to let me live on Ramen.) And being all up in each other’s business turned out to be more than I bargained for. Think assigned chores, paying rent, and dealing with cockroaches when we moved in (still makes me shudder!). And as you may have already guessed, the boyfriend and I broke up. So that leaves (put your hands up!) a single, independent woman who apparently makes references to Beyonce songs when she talks about herself.

Yes, I’m single and living with three other girls in relationships. Read More »

Do you ever listen to music that’s completely ridiculous? (Editor’s Note: Does Miley count?) To the point that you start feeling ridiculous and maybe even hide the fact that you listen to other people? (Editor’s Note: Miley definitely counts.) Or just sorta wonder what’s going on in the artist’s head?

OK, so clearly I can’t hide what I’ve been listening to this week – and I’ve already admitted previously to liking Demi Lovato – but that doesn’t mean this week’s new releases didn’t have me scratching my head a bit. And while that’s actually kind of what I’ve come to expect from Weezer and Say Anything, I was a little thrown by my homegirl, Carrie Underwood. Don’t get me wrong, she makes some amusing music, but have you ever stopped to listen to the lyrics?

Why does Carrie Underwood hang out with so many crappy men? Girlfriend needs some help! Read More »

See ya later, Single Status!

It’s weird how it happens. One day you’re screaming “THIS IS MY SONG!” every time “Single Ladies” comes on at the bar, and the next…well, you’re doing the same thing, but it’s not actually true. After just over two years of being the most single person on the planet, I actually took the dive. It happened really unexpectedly with a cute acquaintance I have known for years. We started talking a little more, and things took off out of nowhere.

I used to want to jack people in the face when they said, “When you stop looking for a boyfriend, you’ll get one.” And even though that is exactly what happened, that’s still really annoying advice. I think I hate it largely because it takes the situation out of your hands; as if you have to be in some sort of cosmic state of perfect personal balance just to get a damn date. I think a better way to phrase the advice is this:

Beating yourself up over not having a boyfriend or becoming depressed that “there’s no one out there” isn’t going to make your perfect mate appear out of thin are. There are times when 5 guys ask you out in a week, and there are times when your only male interaction for months is with your Environmental Science professor (hopefully not the wrong kind of interaction…). You can control your love life, but only to a certain extent. You don’t completely control who you meet, when you meet them, or (even as much as we try) how they feel about you. Read More »

There's more to us than what's popping out of our dresses, you know.

I just got back from the happiest place on earth. And no, I’m not talking about Disneyland. Although Vegas is a lot LIKE Disneyland, but instead of candy you have booze and instead of rides you have prostitutes. Which I guess can be considered rides…. If I had spent more than three days there, my entire body and life would have started decaying as quickly as my morals did (just kidding guys, no secret marriages here!).

But beyond all the slot machines, free booze and horny people everywhere, Las Vegas is like single life grown in a petri dish; it’s bigger and more rampant, and it lets you observe some things. A lot of the weekend involved putting on our hottest outfits, going to the hottest places, and (hopefully) flirting with the hottest guys.  But somewhere in between flirting with the bouncer to get to the head of the line (which probably only works for Lindsay Lohan) and making eyes at the cute guy across the dance floor, it hit me: the giant singles meat market that is Las Vegas is not too far off from the giant singles meat market that is my life in Chicago. Read More »

This is real. We're Facebook-Official.

Okay, so as if the world of flirting/dating/hooking up in dark corners wasn’t already confusing enough, we now have Facebook thrown in the mix. You can poke the cutie from Calculus, send some racy “private messages,” and maybe even send a condom or two his way.

But when you actually really like the guy, and have even gone on a couple dates (aka met for lunch in the caf or taken a stroll through the plaza) the whole Facebook situation gets ten times more complicated.

And that brings us to the “relationship status.”  It sits in the corner of our profiles taunting us. “You’re still single??” it screams (accompanied by Facebook ads luring you to Match.com). But when you are seeing someone it’s even worse, nagging you day after day. “Are you official yet?! It’s been a month! Come on already!”

I don’t know how I feel about this little option. I won’t deny that it’s exciting to finally make the official switch to “in a relationship,” but the extra pressure it adds to my love life is a major negative.

Obviously, I’m torn.

Love It:

The fact that making a relationship Facebook official clears up a significant amount of issues surrounding a new relationship. First of all, there is none of that sitting up late at night with your roommate, dissecting his text messages and the way he hugged you goodbye. Does he want a commitment? Is he not sure? Of course he’s sure! He just changed his relationship status!  It sort of brings us back to those Pleasantville days when a guy simply pinned his girl and that was that; when you have been “Facebook officialed” you’re a couple. Done.

Ah, dating has become so black and white. Read More »

I love boys. I love boys so tall they might hit their heads when they walk through a doorway and boys so short they’ve probably never entertained fantasies of basketball stardom. I love boys as dark as the blackest coffee, as white as the snow that I am not looking forward to this winter, and every shade in between. Give me a boy, any boy, and I’ll find something I love about him.

This is why even I wondered if I was slightly insane when I decided to completely abstain from boys this summer.

The decision (The Vow, as I now refer to it) was something I really had to think about. I knew that going home to Miami would mean I’d have options for a summer fling. Beautiful, jacked, sun-god-like options that seem to only exist in dreams. But, having been single for over three years, I needed a break.

I think that relationships, as amazing as they can be, sometimes just aren’t worth it. I’m incredibly busy, as are most college students, so I only want to make time in my life for someone if we have something I can’t imagine giving up. But while being single right now is best for me, it can be so exhausting. From wondering if the attractive guy digs me back to whether or not to be physical with a guy I may not have emotional connections with, I was just sick of it. So, to the surprise of my friends, I decided that for summer, I’d basically be like one of the nuns that taught me in grade school. Except I’d still curse and wear bikinis and stuff.

When people would ask my why I was doing this, I usually said something new-agey like “I just need some time to really be alone. I need to focus on myself.” And focus on myself I did. I took a mini road trip with one of my best friends to an amazing art exhibit. I re-read one of my favorite books that I haven’t read since junior year of high school. I started doing Pilates, which completely rejuvenated and calmed me. I surrounded myself with the carefree joy of children, and picked some of their confidence along the way. Read More »

As I said last week, when I’m with my friends I tend to feel like the mom of the group; the one without the fun stories, the exciting crushes and the long drunken nights with friends. Well, I’ve recently discovered that there are some perks to being the momma of the group and the only girl in my group in a long term relationship.

I’ve become the one that everyone else comes to for advice or when they have an awkward relationship/sex questions.

Case in point: Last week I was at the gym with my friend who is one of the sweetest, most innocent girls you could meet. We were jogging around the track just doin’ our thing when she asked me if she could ask a bit of an embarrassing question. “Of course,” I huffed, not knowing what to expect. Especially knowing what came next.

“What’s giving a blow job like?”

I couldn’t believe one of my best friends, especially her, was asking me such a blunt question! On the track! But I realized that it took a lot for her to ask me that and that she must really value my opinion (considering I’ve never even heard her use that term before!), so I gave her the best description I could and answered all of her related questions. Quietly, of course, there were other people running around us.

Having a serious relationship has turned me into the go-to girl for my friends with relationship questions. They have told me that they know I’ve been through a lot and they value my advice. And I have to admit, giving out relationship advice is kind of fun! I like being the all-knowing sage and helping people who may not be where I am with Matt. It’s my unique way of contributing to the group when they’re all sharing stories and that I can no longer relate to. It makes me feel wanted and connected to a group that I sometimes worry I’m growing apart from. Read More »