Sinning Will Save The Economy

With the recession guilting me into sacrificing unnecessary luxuries (oh, multiple, daily Starbucks runs, how I miss you!), I’m wondering how others are handling their own sacrifices. Our daily indulgences have now become something to shake a finger at, but many industries are still thriving by playing into our addictions.

As humans, we have inner demons that can only be quieted by indulging in our uncontrollable desires. Take the concept of the Seven Deadly Sins. Depending on your beliefs or interpretations, you may agree that we have a natural inclination towards these temptations. For example, I totally lust after my boyfriend’s six pack, I greedily horde my money, I’m a glutton for any sort of frozen yogurt, and I envy Megan Fox’s…everything.

Being the crafty marketing team they are, America’s consumer industries are exploiting our desires to indulge in these Seven Deadly Sins (and are getting filthy rich because of it!). Hey, maybe if we all sinned a bit more, we could nix this recession like Cain did Abel! Ready to be a bad girl? Hit up these industries to silence your inner, money spending demon:

Lust – While the recession has taken away many things, at least it’s bringing sexy back! Erotic industries, such as sex toy company Babeland, have seen a 25% increase in sales. Makes sense: The less hours you’re given at your job, the more quality time you have to spend with your brand new Mini Pink Leopard Vibe! The best part? Babeland is always having sales to keep you “cumming” back for more. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) Read More »


Pope Freaks Out On Power, Creates NEW Sins

popeg031007_468×323.jpgAs if I weren’t a big enough sinner already, last week, the Pope released his new list of Things That Will Make God Super Pissed.

I’ve been using the Lord’s name in vain and partying hard on Sundays for a while now. So I already knew I’d bought my ticket to Hell, but thanks to The Pope, I’ve got a first class seat now on an express train to the fiery flames of evil.

Here are the new sins that were literally INVENTED this week. (By the way, who really believes this sh*t anymore?)

YOU ARE NOW A SINNER IF…

-You support bioethical violations; like birth control (CHECK) Read More »