A few months ago I woke up from a Salvia induced trip, naked in my living room, surrounded by crumpled newspaper. As the Thai Buddha, who had just a few minutes ago been telling me ‘not to let the planet overwhelm me,’ faded from view, I realized that in my stupor I had somehow managed to turn on 60 Minutes.

I usually don’t watch this show because in my opinion it embodies everything wrong about aging. It’s basically saying ‘being old and curmudgeon-y is part of aging, let’s be closed off to the world that’s different from what we remember,’ and also because Andy Rooney drinks baby’s blood and I can’t support that (could he clean his office?).

Anyways, on this episode, Morley Safer (calculating age based on name…estimated age: 200) did a piece on a group of people called Millennials. The piece was supposed to be about how these people (born in between 1980 and 1995? He’s talking about you) are ruffling feathers in the white collar work force with their crazy tattoos and pudding pops and “Pokemans.” Bosses are ‘terrified.’ Read More »

I’ve never been one to say no to an experience that sounds interesting. This inclination has led me down a few paths my parents would probably not be happy to learn about — one of those paths being recreational drug use.

Now, before certain readers out there go all NARC on my ass, let me say that I make it a point to stay away from hard drugs. No coke, no herion…nothing that’s genetically altered to speed me towards an early death. I like to stick to the hippie stuff; weed, shrooms, hashish…you know, things that come from nature. And I’m very careful about who I purchase this stuff from. Those of us that partake in these sorts of relaxation techniques should always be careful about that sort of thing. People are a**holes.

Right, so public service announcement over. What I’m really writing about is this article I recently read on Salon.com about Salvia, a hallucinogenic substance that’s illegal in about 10 states and is probably going to be made illegal in a bunch more very soon. According to the author of the article (and a few friends of mine), Salvia is super potent — but only for 5 to 10 minutes. Apparently, you will trip off your ass and see the weirdest sh*t in the world (including Aztec Gods…or at least that’s what the writer saw), but it’ll all be over in minutes. Read More »