Let’s thank Hannah Montana for this one

OMG. THIS ELEPHANT. IS PAINTING. A SELF-PORTRAIT.

“The Hills” are alive…with legit life lessons

This just in: Paris Hilton wants to buy the world

Does this lawsuit match my bag?

You know, I’d rather sleep with Rob Lowe in his bed

Sometimes, you just crave some fried penis

Seriously, someone needs to take away their camera

Proof that Coldplay is really boring

A few years ago researchers and doctors discovered that people who did not sleep enough were more likely to gain weight. That seemed obvious enough to me; not sleeping would make someone too tired to workout and more likely to sit around and eat. And, since those people were awake longer, they had more time to stuff their faces. The research findings were a lot more scientific, though.

It turned out that people who slept fewer than 8 hours a night had increased levels of Grehlin – a hormone that increases appetite – and a decrease in their levels of Leptin – a hormone that makes us feel full. So, people who slept less ate more, which, naturally, caused them to gain weight.

Doctors started urging people to get more sleep. They recommended creating a relaxing setting at bedtime (candles, nature sounds, sex?), avoiding caffeine and exercise in the evenings and keeping a notepad near the bed to jot down notes in order to clear the mind. They begged Americans to slow down a little and focus on their health instead of the million other things that plague us on a daily basis. And for the love of God, stop with the all-nighters.

And what happened? It backfired. Well, sorta. Read More »

Ever find yourself awake at 4am reading Perez Hilton and unable to fall asleep? Between classes, extracurriculars, homework and those 5 trips to Starbucks, relaxing at the end of a long day can be next to impossible. Worse yet, if you study where you sleep (we’ve all tried to read a book in bed, and I personally have a duvet cover stained with pen ink!), your body may not be able to determine when it’s time to focus and when it’s time to pass out.

Yoga can be a great way to increase your energy and wake you up, but there are also a few simple poses you can try before bed that will (hopefully!) relax you and calm your mind. Read More »

I think we’ve had this conversation before. But it’s worth having again, especially since Freshmen year is so crucial to the development of this addiction.

This messy, painful, powerful addiction.

The addiction to wearing pajamas to class.

Some of you had to get up as early as 5:30 AM to get to high school, and while wearing pj’s may have been a slight temptation, you never actually went and did it.

No, you pulled on some jeans, found a shirt somewhere, made sure your face wasn’t frightening, and then hopped into the car while the sun was still coming up.

But then college happens, and for some reason, everything changes. Almost no one has class earlier than 8:30 (a whole hour later than 12th grade), school is usually no more than a 10-15 minute walk from your bed, and breakfast is already made for you. It should be easier to resist the urge to wear those dancing dog pj’s your grandma got you to class…right?

Nope.

Just doing it once, just one taste of the sweet, sweet laziness that is literally throwing a jacket over pajamas is enough to turn some people in pajajay junkies for life (or at least the duration of the college career). Read More »

Since re-entering the realm of singledom some time back, I’ve had no shortage of random sexual encounters, whether they be one night stands with girls I’ve met at bars, or first or second dates where the girl, I guess, is feeling pretty frisky.

But when the night has run its course, and all energies have been spent, the question still remains as to whether you should spend the night with your partner of the evening.

As a guy, I’m constantly torn between sleeping alone in my own bed and guaranteeing a good night’s sleep, or spending the night with the girl, possibly getting laid again the morning, meanwhile risking a sleepless night because I’m unfortunately one of those guys that absolutely cannot sleep with even the slightest bit of body contact.

Now, generally speaking, I’m gonna side with spending the night with the girl. I mean, c’mon. I can always catch up on my sleep later, and, as a rule, you don’t just turn down the possibility of good morning sex. But every now and then, certain circumstances will dictate that I do everything in my power to get rid of the girl as soon as humanly possible.

Allow to share a classic example: Read More »

Energy drinks.

Most of us have tried them, and some of us have tried them all. Every week another choice seems to pop up, promising everything from a little “oomph” enhancement to a metabolism increase to an “illegal” amount of taste.We swallow them down because we want the boost, not because they taste anything near good, many of us foregoing coffee for a chemical concoction because of it’s supposed higher caffeine content.

Not to disappoint you, but the amount of stimulant in that sugar-and-piss liquid may be lower than its advertisers would have you believe. Read More »

Summer — a time for barbeques, trips to the beach, and some serious drinking. So where the hell does waking up at the crack of dawn fit in?

Not long ago, 1 p.m. was an acceptable hour for me to drag myself out of bed. My roommate would often upstage my extreme sleeping habits by dozing into the late afternoon. We would shudder collectively at the thought of waking up at the extreme early morning hour of 10 a.m.

However, as soon as the summer began and I moved back to a land free of all nighters in the study lounge, loud parties across the hall, and most importantly, the incessant overbearing stress of school, I began to wake up at 7 a.m. on a daily basis for my internship and job.

I’m not going to pretend it was easy. The first few days the morning sun burned my eyes and I had to physically throw myself out of bed. I cursed myself for having responsibilities and stumbled around my house like a wounded animal. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

Despite this rocky start, it wasn’t long before I began to recognize the many benefits of rising at a decent hour:

Breakfast: Let’s get real. Breakfast food is some of the best stuff out there. Bagels, pancakes, cereal, fruit- it doesn’t get much better than that. Having time to actually eat it is a precious opportunity. Not only is breakfast food delicious, it’s part of a nutritionally balanced diet. Read More »

There is a new sleep disorder that seems to be sweeping its way across the country.: Sexsomnia. According to the headline on msn.com, “People with this rare disorder engage in sexual activity while asleep, but don’t remember it later.”

The disorder covers all aspects of sex, from rubbing to touching to full blown sex. Those who “suffer” from sexsomnia (which I would argue are the spouses/bedmates who have to deal with having sex with someone while they snore) claim to have no idea what they are doing and don’t remember it in the morning.

Which leads me to wonder if I have Sexsomnia…or if I can claim I do after returning from the bar and finding myself next to an extremely unattractive person in the morning. I mean, there have been many occasions where I woke up in the morning and had no idea if I had sex the night before. And there have been plenty others when I wish to the God in heaven that I did not. Read More »

The world isn’t getting any easier. Judging by the recent headlines, there’s more to be shook up about than ever. Add a little end of semester jitters and it’s quite possible that a third installment of Spring Semester Freak-Out Remedies might be in order.

This time, I thought I’d give away a few evening rituals that I’ve learned over the years. I’m a hopeless case when it comes to sleep. If I’ve got a lot on my mind, you can kiss a restful night goodbye. I’m a champion Clock Gazer, watching the little red numbers tick by, getting more and more anxious the closer morning gets, practically ready to run a marathon by 4 AM.

I’ve always envied those people who pass out the minute their heads hit the pillow. I don’t understand what they do with their minds, but someday I hope to learn. Until then, this is what I do to calm down.

Two Hours before Bedtime: I turn my music down, and shut off the “Kelly Clarkson/Ozzy Ozborn” Playlist. Loud music helps me write—or dance around when I’m about to crack from stress—but it also revs up my body. I’ve found switching to a soft folk or classical station actually slows my heartbeat, and calms me without my head really noticing. I’ve also had a lot less complaints from downstairs neighbors. Read More »