Do you ever stare at yourself in the mirror and think, “damn, I wish I could lift my ass up but not add any padding, plus it would be nice to slim my thighs at the same time and tuck my tummy and basically lock my body into suffocating spandex“? Well, if you’ve ever thought these odd things: someone has heard you.

Bubbles Bodywear has come up with “The Double-O Push-Up Thong,” which is basically a bra for your butt. It’s supposed to tone and shape your ass while slimming your thighs and holding in your stomach — all the while shoving itself up your butt crack.

The best thing about The Double-O is that it costs $64!! Nothing makes a girl smile like spending loads of money on an item of clothing that no one will see (and those who do will have so. many. questions.) and which will also be needlessly uncomfortable. Seems like Bubbles Bodywear totally understands the need for women to strap themselves in to point of asphyxiation.