Last Sunday night I found myself at Barney’s Beanery in West Hollywood. It was Memorial Day weekend, so the bar was packed. I’d come with friends, so I wasn’t looking to talk to any guys, but looking around I was surprised at how many cute, normal looking ones there were.

There were tons of adorable nerdy boys wearing glasses and semi-skinny jeans who looked like they’d just come to chill and have a good time with their friends. Yeah, there were a few desperate-looking ones in buttoned-down collared shirts and pressed slacks, but I just ignored them. I couldn’t understand why my friend S (identity protection) always complained to me about not being able to find datable girls in Los Angeles, there seemed to be plenty of cute guys. So I decided to put myself in his shoes, and I looked around for girls. It was an eye opener.

To start with, there were five guys to every girl, and for every normal-looking, attractive girl, there were ten über-slutty ones. I saw one majorly stacked blonde wearing a blue dress so low cut I could practically see the surgery scars on her nipples. Fake tans, platinum extensions, and cheap stilettos were everywhere. We weren’t in some swanky bar on Sunset, and these girls weren’t going to find their future investment banker husband here, this was Barney’s, a bar full of currently unemployed, future TV showrunners. I suddenly felt incredibly bad for S. Read More »

Amy Winehouse: redefines “roadkill” one photo at a time

LINDSAY LOHAN: STOP WITH THE FREAKIN’ LEGGINGS!

This might be why an alarming amount of dudes watch “The Hills”–NSFW

…Which reminds me: Speidiwood does Mother’s Day!

Do you think many 5-year-olds will buy Beyonce’s Freakum Dress?

Neat-o: it’s a list of things younger than McCain

No, seriously–I’m READY for High School Musical 3!

BWE asks: how slutty do you have to be to be arrested at prom?

I never want to hear the ladies of “The View” make penis jokes. Ever. Again.

Last weekend when I was out enjoying an evening at the bar (read: getting wasted in honor of…well, in honor of being wasted), I spotted a group of girls in short tops and extra low jeans.

Needless to say, they weren’t the classiest ladies in the room. Even more needless to say, I got a nice view of each of the ladies’ underwear choices for the evening: thongs.

The girls didn’t even have to bend over or sit down for the thongs to say hello; they were just out. Silly me, I thought that the thong out of the jeans trend ended back in 2005, but apparently I was wrong.

I was also very, very drunk, so I did what I do best; I talked shit about these girls to my friends. And also may have gone up to the Thong Crew and asked them if they were trying to make a fashion statement or just look really, really slutty before being dragged out of the bar by the people I was with.

If only I had known that night about Shibue Couture; I could have actually offered some advice instead of potentially starting a bar brawl.

Read More »

There’s a phenomenon that’s been haunting the Internet for some time now, and I think I’ve had just about enough of it. It’s not celebrity sex-tapes, it’s not porn, and it’s not even the recent influx of spam I’ve been getting on my Gmail account about winning the international lottery(!).

No, friends, what I’m talking about is the epidemic known as Girls Posting Slutty / Drunk Pictures of Themselves on Facebook.

Obviously, this isn’t a new trend, but as I enter the age of (supposed) maturity, I can’t help but feel frustrated at the onslaught of obviously wasted half-naked girls clogging the photo albums of kids I used to baby-sit in high school.

I admit, I used to have a fair share of “I’m so DRUNK” pictures on my Facebook account, but as soon as I started to assert myself as an adult, I went and erased every single picture that made me seem…less than smart. I’m of age, I’m allowed to have fun, but how mature can I really make myself out to be if there are pictures floating around somewhere that show me hanging upside down off someone’s couch or double fisting two shots of Jack? Read More »

Watch Yang Miller crash the University of Wisconson’s library in hopes of finding out what it’s student body is planning on wearing come the 31st!

To me, October signifies a couple of things:

1) Halloween is coming– which means candy and lots of girls prancing around in costumes that always start with the world “slutty”.

2) The return of my coziest sweaters and Pumpkin Spice Lattes which is really one of the happiest moments of fall.

3) Midterms- which usually results in a whole lot of numbers one and two (minus the slutty costumes of course).

But more important than all those things?

October is also Breast Cancer Awareness month.

The American Cancer Society estimates the chances of a woman developing breast cancer in her lifetime is one in eight.

What’s even scarier is that breast cancer is being found in women younger and younger (such as singers Kylie Minogue and Anastasia).

A key factor in breast cancer survival is early detection. So, listen up! Read More »

• Apparently, the kids are calling it “juking” these days. But back when I was in high school it was just called acting real slutty and awkward. (Chicago Sun-Times)

• Students could learn a lot from this kind of dedication. Minus the dying. (Yahoo News)

• Jack Hanna and a flamingo got stuck in a turnstile. For real. (Associated Press)

• I don’t think South Park or Family Guy would think this comic was all that funny either. (WTNH)

• Cosmopolitan Magazine and its evolution over the past thirty years! Prepare to feel stunned and better looking than the cover model from 1987. (Jezebel)

Tom Ford, the wunderkind designer who saved Gucci from going bankrupt way back when, is credited as being one of the most influential fashion gods of the last decade. He’s done a lot of things, including becoming creative director of Yves Saint Laurent a few years ago, and being named best International Designer at the first VH1/Vogue Awards in New York in 2000.

He claims to sleep about 3 hours a night, is quoted as saying things like, “The YSL (Yves Saint Laurent) woman might tie her boyfriend up and drip hot wax on him before they have sex, for instance. The Gucci woman is just going to have sex”, and originally went to school to be an actor.

Oh yeah, he also sells perfume by photographing it in between a naked woman’s thighs. Read More »

Last night, around 12:30 AM, I had a question. My brother had a desperate need for Wendy’s. We had 15 minutes, and somehow made another sibling rivalry discussion look easy (and English teachers everywhere cringe).

(23:56) Me: Can I ask you a question?

(23:56) The Bro: Ya, but hurry. I really wanna go to Wendy’s.

(23:57) Me: well, let’s say a girl walks into Wendy’s…and you’re standing in line behind her, and she’s wearing a short skirt and low shirt. Do you think her clothing gives you the right to stare at her?

(23:57) The Bro: hmm, the right? That’s funny wording

(23:58) Me: maybe “the right to ogle her”

(23:58) The Bro: I mean, technically, it’s my right to look at anything in a public place. Men look at breasts automatically. It isn’t something we do on purpose. We can train ourselves not to. Like for example, when I see MaryAnne, I know she has huge boobs. So I stare at her eyebrows. HARD. Or I look past her.

(00:00) Me: but if a girl’s wearing a cleavage-showing shirt…and she catches you staring…what do you do? Read More »