Once upon a time, I was a very sheltered girl. Sex was the ultimate taboo – I thought it was dangerous, dirty, and I failed to understand how anyone could derive pleasure from it. In high school, when my friends started engaging in sexy time, their less than positive reviews of their experiences didn’t make sex sound any more appealing. It wasn’t until I got to college, and started meeting more experienced, sex-positive, empowered ladies that I started to cultivate a more positive view of sexuality. And when I finally started having sex with an incredibly sensitive man, I confirmed that a lot of my fear of sex was based on fallacies and lies.

Without further ado, here are some of my most misguided thoughts.

10. Tummy fat is kryptonite for guys.
I used to be absolutely terrified of getting naked in front of a guy. In fact, I actually lost my virginity while wearing a dress. I thought a dude would catch one glance of my layer of chub and totally lose interest. In reality, most guys are not that douchey, and when they’re that close to sticking their goods into your mouth and/or vag, trust – they think you’re the sexiest woman in the world this side of Megan Fox.

9. Small penis = no pleasure.
The average depth of a vagina is 6 inches. The average length of a penis is 5 inches. More than likely, whatever he’s packing is more than sufficient. But even if it’s not, whatever – a finger feels good, and the odds of encountering a penis any smaller than that is highly unlikely.

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Much to the dismay of my male readers, I have to admit that size does in fact matter to us ladies. Sure, it isn’t the only component of good sex, but it definitely contributes. After all, the motion of the ocean doesn’t matter much if you can’t feel the waves!

But what many guys don’t know – and which some girls might not even know! – is that size problems go both ways; a guy can be too big just as easily as he can be too small. What do you do if your partner falls on either end of the spectrum?

Too Small

If he’s too small, there’s no magic pill to make him bigger (despite what your gmail inbox claims). You can make him feel bigger by trying positions that allow deeper penetration. Doggie style with your waist high (use pillows if it makes it more comfortable) and your chest lowered to the bed is a great angle for this. Spruce up missionary by resting your ankles on his shoulders (if you’re not flexible enough, just bend your knees and pull them up towards your chest). Trust me, a little (penis) goes a long way.

Also remember that penetration isn’t the only (or most) pleasurable sex act; indulge yourself in some oral or manual stimulation as well. Read More »

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