Not being a Christmas celebrater myself, it took me quite a few years to get used to getting phone calls at 8am on December 26th, my friends screaming about True Religions, the Gilmore Girls DVD box-set, and “OMG MY MOM GOT ME THREE HANDLES OF SMIRNOFF!!!” on the other end.

And while I didn’t appreciate the early morning wake up call, I did enjoy hearing about all the goodies I’d soon be able to borrow/benefit from upon returning to campus.

Everyone knows the best part of the holiday break is not the sleeping in or the 90210 marathons on Soap Net. It’s the 42 phone calls you make (from that new iPhone, baby!) immediately after opening your loot to tell everyone what you got, then sitting in your room and trying on all the clothes/playing with all the toys while noshing on some of mom’s famous desserts.

Just thinking about it makes me giddy.

Anyways, now that you’ve come out of your Christmas (or Chinese, what up Jews?!) food coma, we wanna know what you got for Christmas/Hanukkah/while you were home over break and your parents were feeling generous.

So… whatcha get?!
And when can I come over to borrow?

Share your best gifts below.

Dear Drunk Girl,

Hi sweetie. Long time no see. I take that back. I saw you last Friday. Same place, same hazy look in your eyes, different black dress that falls down to expose your bra. This one doesn’t have vomit on it… yet! Congratulations.

As much as going out and drinking in college is an integral part of your experience, I don’t think you serenading a fraternity with “Like a Virgin” into your half-empty Smirnoff handle (your makeshift microphone) while balancing on a coffee table is necessarily the right way to spend your Tuesday night.

You were very stylish at the beginning of the night. Your dress hung perfectly, eyelashes were curled, hair was straightened, heels were spotless and your jewelry matched. However, after those three, four or five shots of Patron? That sexy little dress you picked up at the Saks sale is riding up and showing off your embarrassing leopard print boy shorts. The mascara you so diligently applied is now running down your face after your tearful breakdown about how much you “love everyone sooooo much” and “like, can’t wait to have you all as my bridesmaids.” You seem to have more hair in your face than in your ponytail and one of your high heels is nowhere to be found. Check yourself, honey. Read More »

It’s Friday night and you throw on your hottest little black dress, toss back some shots with your girlfriends and then hit the club, bar or, everyone’s favorite, the kegger.

Soon you’re in a first class seat to Blackout City (population: who the eff knows? You’re seeing double), and the next thing you know, you’re waking up topless in a strange bed, wearing someone’s boxers and one high heel. You turn over slowly, silently pleading that at least he’s good looking.

But regardless of what you see (there’s no turning back now, sister!), there are 10 major things you don’t want to hear:

1.    “You’re on birth control, right?”
(OhMyGodPleaseLetThereBeACondomWrapperOnTheFloor…..)

2.    “That video is going to get so many hits online”

3.    “What was your name again?”
This problem is two-fold. One: he put his P in your V and he doesn’t even know your name?! What a sleaze. Two: Sh*t! What name did you give him last night!?

4.    “Thank God those warts went away!”

5.    “I love you.”
You knew you were good, but that good? Read More »

So now you’re back on campus, away from the ‘rents, and you can go out and drink as much as you want. In moderation, of course. (At least that’s what you tell your parents…)

Need a reason to drink? Need some motivation? Too young to get into the bars?

These three games are sure-fire ways to get drunk and have fun without ever having to leave the house/dorm. Or simply as a little fun before the main event. Whatever. They are fun. Play them.

Beer Pong: This is the ultimate drinking game. If you don’t like beer, replace it with cider or Smirnoff or Bacardi (not straight up, please…you may die) or anything else tasty. Side note: In my recent travels abroad, I discovered that we Americans take this game very, very seriously. Do not attempt to cheat during a beer pong game. You will be seriously heckled and possibly thrown out. Unless everyone’s too drunk to notice (which is entirely possible).

Flip Cup: The first time I played this, I didn’t realize that the entire team had to flip their cups over. I thought the contest was over after the first pair. And everyone was just looking, and looking, and looking at me…

Kings: I couldn’t find a satisfactory link to rules, so here they are as I play it. (Which is the best way.): Read More »

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s finally warm enough in the summertime to step outside and feel the breeze without wincing, or maybe the wind really does smell sweeter, but either way, there is definitely something fun and breezy about summer. There is something light and bubbly about this season and there are a wide array of drinks out there to accompany such a bohemian sensation.

Why do I feel more comfortable drinking in the afternoon in the summertime than I do in the winter? Is it the dazzling sunlight that beckons me to the outdoor seating of bars, whispering, “It’s vacation weather. Drink up…”? Is that what does it? Who knows. Regardless, here is my personal list of summertime beverages that I know I won’t be going without this year.

WINE SPRITZERS

I may easily be an old cougar at a country club despite the fact that I’m a 24 year old girl in the big city…I don’t care. I like wine spritzers. They’re so bubbly and delicious and easy to make on your own. Wine+Sprite+Ice+decorative lemon= BOOYAH, a tasty wine spritzer. I used to always drink these with red wines, but I’ve moved on to the lighter white wines these days and I love it. Read More »

In honor of the much anticipated return of The Hills (Tonight! 10PM! Woooo!), I have invited my lady friends over for a viewing party. Lucky for us, MTV has 10-minute commercial breaks, which give us plenty of time to whine, bitch and criticize the many things wrong with Heidi’s new face and boobs.

And what would a party be without some cocktails? Yes, I realize it is a Monday, but it is not just any Monday; it’s the return of my favorite most-awesome-show ever. Even the New York Times is covering it! Celebration is necessary.

I considered many different drinks for the festivities – Cosmos (so out), Martinis (too cliché), beer (not worthy of such an event) – but finally found one that is just right. A drink appropriate for the level of class needed for such a celebration, while also capturing the soul at the center of this show.

Below, the drink of The Hills, The Bitch Slap. Read More »