MTV has been by my side ever since Justin Timberlake was breaking it down with N*sync on Total Request Live. Yes, it seems crazy now, but MTV used to actually have shows dedicated to music (TRL being a personal favorite). And just recently, like a very public break-up on Facebook, MTV has made it official and removed “Music Television” from their new logo, and replaced it with… Snooki?

Yup, Snooks is now the face (and ginormous Guidette boobs) of MTV. And the world is in a tizzy.

Ever since MTV unveiled the new logo, sans any sign of music, the media has been abuzz. People are shocked and dismayed by the change, dumbfounded by the fact that there is no more music at Music Television. But why? Read More »

Is season 2 really taking place in Miami? Who cares!

OK, we do, but we care more about what our favorite guidos and guidettes are up to now that deep-pocketed wannabes are living in the ‘Jersey Shore’ beach house. And we know the answer. They’re partying, and making hand-over-fistpump cash doing it. Now that The Situation, Snooki, JWoww and friends are household names, they’re contacted constantly to make personal appearances. But they’re not accepting just any offer that comes their way. Well, some of the Shoremates aren’t. Read More »

It is clear, ever since I tuned into the first episode of Jersey Shore, that my life (and vocabulary) would never be the same. I was robbed of my typical (Thirsty) Thursday nights in hopes of catching a glimpse of Ronnie laying someone out and going to jail and I now use the term “you’re not invited to chicken cutlet night” in my daily life.

It’s a fact: I love the Jersey Shore and recently it seems nobody is letting me forget it. The Situation and Snooki are everywhere: on every talk show, every gossip website, every tabloid, and recently even gracing the Grammy’s red carpet (where The Situation obviously took off his shirt…)

And now it has gone too far.
The Seaside Heights residents themselves were just invited to Fashion Week.

Snooki the fashionista? Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

The Grammys were one thing – I mean, those guys sure know how to beat a good beat – but now this? I mean yes, I am shamelessly and unconditionally in love with the Guido crew, but this is Fashion Week! Only the most glamorous and influential fashionistas are invited! The only fashion show these kids belong at is Ed Hardy… or maybe Fredrick’s of Hollywood for my girl, JWoww.  That makes a little more sense than getting front row seats to DVF, Marc Jacobs or any other high profile designer showing their goods. How do you think Anna Wintour is going to feel when she can’t see over Snooki’s elaborate pouf? And what will Nina Garcia have to say about her signature corset? Read More »

I look good after a little GTL. Now I just need to find me a gorilla.

It’s Friday. My brain stopped working 3 days ago. In lieu of doing actual work I’ve spent the past 2 hours catching up on TFLN, stalking photos of people I do not know on Facebook and trying to figure out what will be going in my flask tonight.

And then I found this. The best thing I’ve seen online since When I Had Braces:

Jerzify Yourself.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. Put your picture in, click a few buttons and find out what you’d look like if you were born into Snooki’s fam. I can’t imagine a better way to spend my time on this cold Friday afternoon. And based on my outcome, Angelina (remember her?) was wrong; I’m the hottest Guidette around.

Looks like MTV has got themselves a Situation.

The fist-pumping “guidos” and “guidettes” of the overnight sensation Jersey Shore are demanding more money for a second season of GTL and hair-poufing.  But wait a sec! Is MTV actually threatening to replace them with new overly muscular guys and shiny orange girls?

The answer is yes. According to TMZ, the network has offered each star $10,000 per episode for the second season and it’s not enough for our favorite juice-heads. I can totally see why; not only are gym memberships and tanning packages expensive, but these kids made a lot of money for MTV and they know it. Now that they’re so big (even Leo DiCaprio knows what GTL is!), they are in a position of power and can demand a whole lot more.

Or so they think.
Rumor has it, if our little Guidos don’t agree to the deal MTV will be replacing them. Read More »

Don’t worry; Sammi and Ronnie are back on.

Check out Tara Reid’s rock!

Can crazy sex be bad for your health?

Hope For Haiti Now was a huge success!

The dos and don’ts of wearing florals in the winter.

Ooo! 20% off jeans at National Jean Co.!

Tonight is the season finale of the Jersey Shore.

Let’s all take a moment of silence.

In preparation for this tragic ending I am beginning to practice the coping skills I learned from my therapist to use when dealing with a break-up.  Because this is a break-up. A really painful one.

You see my relationship with The Jersey Shore began like any other meaningful relationship.  I saw a preview and was interested.  I didn’t know exactly what it would offer me, but it seemed attractive enough for me to find out.  I committed to the first episode and was anxious to see how things would go, just like any first date.  By the end…I was hooked.

I am the first to admit my own psychosis…I became a stage five clinger.  I stalked The Jersey Shore by watching YouTube clips, looking for trailers, anything I could.  Our relationship blossomed as I became more and more intrigued with each character and I felt as if I actually lived in the house and could call the Duck Phone my own.  I found myself referring to the characters and constantly contributing my input to their lives.  “Did you SEE that girl The Situation brought home? Even he could do better than that!”

Read More »

Looks like Snooki’s gonna be Snookin’ for Love.

What’s Britney’s latest addiction?

Think your way to better sex.

Get white hot for a cool spring.

Ryan Reynolds stars in a movie. All alone?

It’s official. Conan’s on the move!

Cha CHING

I promised myself I would not fall head over heels for fist pumping and barber shop outings, but as quickly as you can say “duck phone” I was couldn’t stop watching Pauly D burn coal in a gas grill.  Thus opening the doors for a new guilty pleasure to enter my life, formally known as the Jersey Shore.  I’m as confused as you are. If you asked me a month ago if I would be constructing my Guido name on Facebook, I would have told you to go smush yourself.

I’m not the only one smitten for Jersey Shore.  America has fallen in love with the guidettes and Guidos so deeply that 2.1 million people tuned in for the second episode.   Tanning package well spent, Snooki.  Vinny also just (drunkenly, I’m sure) leaked that the show will be coming back for another season of sweatbands and fist pumping in Seaside Heights, and the original cast members won’t be going anywhere. Except to battle it out on the dance floor, that is. And when they do, they’ll be making bank.

As in $30,000! Read More »