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image via Isantilli/Shutterstock

‘Tis the season of ugly sweaters!

Whether or not you’re hosting an Ugly Sweater Soiree, RSVPing to one, or thinking about bringing the party to the bar, we suggest you take a look at this post before you head out in search of the ugliest sweater you can find.

For all of us, Ugly Sweater themed parties mean two things: 1. The holidays are approaching faster than we can say ‘finals’ and 2. We (women and men) get to take a night off from gettin’ glam and go out with jeans, a tee and the perfect ugly sweater.

My ideal U.S. comes with shoulder pads, a kitty and a Christmas tree with yarn ball ornaments. So before you head out, scan our list of the top 30 Ugly Sweaters for some holiday party inspiration!

How many times a week a day do you Google yourself? An embarrassing amount, right? Almost as embarrassing as the amount of time I spend diagnosing myself with fatal diseases on WebMD. But when we’re not googling our own name and Facebook stalking our frenemies, we’re googling (and ogling) guys. Like, a lot. So we wanted to do a totally scientific study (please note that we did this research while also doing research on the effects of Four Loko on a professional work day) on the most googled guys on the internet. And we were SHOCKED by the results. Like apparently no one else is as into Barry Manilow as I am. But a lot of people are really into Ne-Yo. Who knew?! Now you do!

“Are you sexually active?” inquired Dr. Nancy with her beady eyes judging my contraceptive-popping self. What the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?

“Well, you see Nance, I did hook up with my ex-hook up two weeks ago but other than that it’s been quite the dry spell…” Nobody really wants to delve into their complicated lust life with a complete stranger.

This got me thinking, how does anybody really know if they are “sexually active”? To me, activity isn’t all-or-nothing; there are several levels to be aware of. Dr. Nancy, for instance, would abide by the criteria of “hyperactivity.” In other words, if you have ever touched a boy or even really thought about it, you are sexually active for the rest of your life and probably well after you’re dead.

Now no offense to my good pal Nance, but I personally prefer to look at sexual activity like geologists study volcanoes. By this definition, an active girl is one that is currently “erupting” or at least hooks up regularly. What constitutes hooking up is up to you and the righteousness of your moral code. What also is up to you is how you define the term “regularly.” For the sake of escaping the scrutinizing eye of a university nurse practitioner or a Catholic priest, you may choose to equate “regularly” with “every day.” That way you can have no qualms with looking into those judging eyes and confidently stating, “No, as a matter of fact, I am not sexually active.”

For those of you that are like me and (sadly) haven’t gotten any in a while, you may fall under the classification of dormant. You have hooked up in historical times, but you are not currently sleeping with anybody. But not to worry ladies, there is always the promise of future sexual eruptions (thanks, Snoop Dogg). Even the experts say, “The eruption that follows long dormancy is violent.” Hey, you may just be the next Mount Saint Helens of the bedroom.

The rest of us fall into the category of extinct. By definition, extinction implies that there is no evidence of any activity within recent memory. Contrary to common belief, however, this group is not just for the virgins. It may also include those that tend to hook up in any sort of intoxicated state, impairing any and every memory of activity.

No matter which category you identify with, the choice is yours and yours alone. And no matter what, don’t let anyone make you feel insecure about your frequency of eruption, not even your own Dr. Nancy…

Likey? Want some more, you saucy vixen? We got it.

Apparently while we’re still polishing off Thanksgiving leftovers, Hollywood’s already gearing up for 2011.  And they just announced the first pot-stirrer of the New Year: who’s nominated for February’s Grammy’s…and who isn’t.

Big Turkey Sandwich with All the Fixings

1. The full list of 2011’s Grammy Award Nominees has been announced.  And guess who’s leading the pack with noms? Uh, Eminem.  Following him with the most are Lady Gaga (duh), Jay-Z, and Bruno Mars.  Because none of us are sick of hearing “Love the Way You Lie” and “Bad Romance” on the radio…

2. Oh no.  Could it be?  A preggers Jessica Simpson? Well, I guess that would explain the expedited wedding plans.

3. Jake and Taylor are still going strong. Swift showed Jakey around Nashville and they were quite the lovey-dovey pair.  Can someone remind me how big the age gap is here?  I’m a little confused as to how this is actually happening.  In other news, can’t wait til they break up and Taylor releases a tell-all song!

4. The Victoria’s Secret Fashion show once again proved that those little undies will never look as good on us as they do on a 5’11, 100 lb Brazilian model.  Such is life.  At least Katy Perry was there to give me a reason to get up and dance…and burn a few calories.

5. Lady Gaga has announced the first single off her new album will be released in February.  But what I’m really excited for is the music video.  She’s already conquered fake blood, cigarette sunglasses, and meat dresses.  Wonder how she’s going to raise the bar this time, Little Monsters.

Lean Cuisine

1. Channing Tatum has been selected to reprise Johnny Depp’s classic role in 21 Jump Street. The 80s TV show is going to be made into a movie and will also star Jonah Hill as Tatum’s high school crime-fighting partner.  Innnnteresting.

2. Love you some Vampire Diaries?  Well, you’re in luck because talks of a “companion show” are swirling.  Info’s currently limited, but it is said that the VD’s writers and producers will be working on the new show, too.

3. Dancing With The Stars is trying to get the First Dude of Alaska, Todd Palin, to trade in his snow boots for some dancing shoes next season.  No word yet as to whether he’ll accept the spot, but producers are gunning hard knowing he’ll do wonders for the ratings.

4.  Snoop Dogg recorded an “anthem” for Prince William’s bachelor party.  Of course he did.

5. Michael Douglas is said to be feeling better after receiving intensive treatment for throat cancer.  He’s even accepted a role as Liberace in an upcoming movie about the famed pianist.  What better way to show America you’ve recovered than by donning sequins and playing a guilded piano?

So this is awesome.

On Sunday night while the rest of the world (or at least those of us with a baby crush on Aziz Ansari) was sitting at home watching the MTV Movie Awards, I was there. On the red carpet. Trying to get Jason Segel to take advantage of me interview all the cool celebs as they made their way into the big show. And besides the extremely hot temperature of L.A. on a June afternoon, it was pretty effing rad.

All your favorite stars were there: Snooki (sans poof!), LiLo (in a sequined pants-suit-jumper–whaaat?), Paul Rudd (sigh), and Snoop (who loved CollegeCandy – obvi). There was also tons of media, tons of people who try to act important but really aren’t (Stephanie Pratt, I’m looking at you!) and there were lots of girls who really, really could use a cookie (and not the vegan kind that are abundant in LA. I’m talking the really large, frosted, full of trans-fat crap kind of cookie that will help said girls look more like a bootylicious babe and less like those emaciated kids you see on TV that you can help save for a mere $1 a day.) Boys were rocking skinnier jeans than any pair in my closet, girls were wearing dresses so short I became convinced Britney made it cool for L.A. girls to flash their bits.

And we saw them all up close and (way too) personal.

We talked to some of your favorite reality stars and were back for a second year with our dry erase board sign, putting the girls who posed with it at ease by telling them that we are not – hand to god – a porn site, while at the same time disappointing every male celeb with that same piece of information.

And here’s how it all went down: who we saw, who we stalked, and who we screamed at as they walked by us to get out of the hot, summer sun.

Britney Spears is “in jail.“

Stripper sues strip club for age discrimination

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Everything you need to know about applying flawless makeup.

Dress to impress on the job!

Snoop Dog on The Martha Stewart Show

Johnny Depp will act for more clown makeup

I know why the caged Housewife sings.

The Amy Winehouse situation is getting despaerate.

After spending a night chillaxin’ in Sherwood Forrest, letting my fatigued body sink into a colorful hammock for two and talk for hours with one of my new best friends over cocktails in combustible corn cups, I knew it was time for a change. A huge, life-changing, effortful change. Something about spending the weekend surrounded by happy, empowering, inspirational people (albeit a little dirty & drugged-up) was a huge, magical, sparkly slap in the face that it’s time for me to conquer, one-by-one, all the things I want to in life.

So, without further adieu, here is my list of sweet stuff I wanna learn.

1. How to give a kick-a** massage. I am OBSESSED with massages. I try to con all my boyfriends, friends, (even boy friends!) to give me little shoulder, back or foot massages (perfect after a long day at work…or shopping). However, I am just as inclined to return the favor because I know how ridiculously nice (and/or orgasm-inducing) a massage can be.

2. How to make sweet jewelry. I used to be the baddest b*tch on the block because I could make friendship bracelets with any color of the rainbow out of any type of string. Unfortunately, I haven’t practiced my art for about, oh, 10 years & I think it’s time for me to get back in the game. But, I sure will have a lot of catching up to do.

3. How to use my super-expensive, practically untouched MAC eyeshadow. I got it off eBay months ago, but have yet to figure out how to actually make it look good. I never really understood why people were called ‘makeup ARTISTS’ until I attempted to blend two colors & ended up looking like a hybrid between this & this.

4. How to bar tend. I thought that the world would magically open up to me and all knowledge surrounding alcohol and how to create, mix and shake up all my favorite shots and drinks would somehow zap into my brain as soon as the clock struck 12 on the eve of my 21st birthday. I was wrong. There is a certain sense of pride I think I’ll feel once I know how to concoct every colorful, delicious (or vomit-inducing) drink ever. Then I’ll finally be the most popular girl at house parties.

5. How to surf. I am in love with the ocean. The only problem is that northeast Ohio is a complete barren wasteland full of far many more cow pastures than salt water & more corn stalks than surfboards. Mark my words, though, I will find a way.

6. How to use Dreamweaver & Photoshop. I don’t even think this is nerdy anymore. It’s more like, essential.

7. How to play Poker. Yes, I’m 21 & have played poker ONCE (and I’m not counting strip poker which involved far more stripping than poker). But, I had to ask for help every hand & eventually got fed up with people getting fed up with me, slammed my cards down on the table and declared that I’d stick to more fun games like A**hole & beer pong…jerks.

8. How to do a few “manly” things. Like how to properly string my own line (er, spool my own reel?) and bait my own hook. And change a tire (yeah, I’m one of those girls). Throw a mean punch. And, um, distinguish between someone who is just being friendly and someone who is actually interested in me (Oh, wait…).

9. How to drive a stick-shift. I am jealous of anybody that can handle 3 pedals when I can barely handle alternating between the brakes & gas without causing collisions.

10. How to be 100% comfortable with myself. I had to get a little sappy here, didn’t I? But, come on, it’s a list of things I want to learn & I think that self confidence is at the top of almost every young gals “To-Do” list.

Honorable Mentions: Complete a whole beer bong. Take a gig as an exotic dancer (& learn how to properly work that pole). Learn how to speak French. Know everything there is to know about wine. Shuffle cards (what? My hands are small!)… and learn the names and histories of as many world leaders (and obviously, the countries they govern) as possible.

[Now lovely CC ladies, it’s your turn to spill. What do you want to learn?]

Pete Wentz’s band, Fall Out Boy, for which he is the principal lyricist and bass player, has sold upwards of 5 million albums worldwide. Decadence Records, Wentz’s label, has signed bands like Gym Class Heroes, Panic at the Disco and The Academy Is…, who’ve all turned into massive successes. Clandestine Industries, Wentz’s clothing line and book publishing company, recently opened the flagship location in Wentz’s hometown of Chicago. He’s been busy in his personal life too, marrying his muse, Ashlee Simpson last month. And the two are expecting their first child later this year.

You’d think as a successful musician, entrepreneur and family man, Wentz would want to settle down a little, and soak it all in. Wrong! He’s just gearing-up for his biggest project yet: redefining the way we experience music videos on TV and the Web, as host of MTV’s new show, “FN MTV.”

So we got Wentz on the phone to talk to him about life, music and the next big thing in music video history!

Check out Pete Wentz’s full interview after the jump!

CC Tell me a little about FN MTV, and what it’s all about.

Pete Wentz: Well, in my mind it’s a show that will bring the music video back–to make the music video an event again. I remember watching “Thriller,” “November Rain,” “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” They were all events; they were all moments that I remember what I was doing and what I felt like at the time. I don’t think that’s so much the case in the last couple years, as reality TV has kind of taken over everything. And I think ["FN MTV"] is good because the network can now say, “We’re about the videos and making the music videos a moment for you where it is apart of our collective memory,” where we all have The Cure “Pictures of You” the song.

CC: So you’d like to romanticize the music video again, and the whole experience that goes along with it.

PW: Yeah, I think it will be interesting for people to actually see that [again]. We’re going to go stage-dark before all the premieres, and we’re going to have a big premiere music video, and were going to turn all the attention and all the lights on the video. We’re going to world premiere all these videos, not the way they’ve been premiered in the last couple years where its like “Ehh, here’s a clip of the video” or whatever. We’re going to make them big events. People say they are sick of reality TV, and they want to see videos on MTV more, so… hopefully that’s actually true! [laughs]

CC: You’re kind of a renaissance man of pop culture, and culture in general. How do you feel about adding “TV show host” to your resume, along with everything else that you’ve done?

PW: [laughing] Well, I know it can’t get worse than “International Douchebag.” It’s interesting; it’s weird. Yesterday I was shooting a skit with Snoop Dogg, because he’s world-premiering his video, and Snoop showed up, like, three hours late–which I think might kinda be on-time in his world. And he was absolutely awesome to work with. But in general, I was like “Wow this gives me a new insight into the other side”–actually asking the questions and being on the other side of the interview. It was a little bit tougher, but I’m not looking to host Wheel of Fortune or anything like that.

CC: We’ve gotten a glimpse of the projected lineup for your show. Guests range from The Ting Tings to Snoop Dogg to Panic and an array of other bands. Will there be a specific type of music featured?

PW: I think it will be everything. I’m going to sneak in little things, here and there. I’ve got the access to the MTV video vault–and that includes footage from The Who and The Beatles, you know. They are giving me access all the way back to that. So we’re going to try to sneak in ya know little stuff here and there and also smaller bands that you normally wouldn’t get to see on MTV.

I mean, at the same time, for the four videos and interviews we do, they all need to be world premieres. So if the video has been on before, it’s not going to make the cut. But I’ve been pretty open to people’s suggestions; I put a poll out because I wanted to play a video that features some kind of ironic mustache humor, and people seem to really lean towards Blink 182’s “First Date” so I was like ‘Yeah, maybe I’ll play that.”

CC: You bring up The Beatles and The Who. If you could have a guest wish list from the past 50 years of music, what are five bands you would have on to premiere their videos?

PW: To premiere their videos? Hmm, well I don’t know if some of them would have videos. But if they did, I would definitely do The Beatles, I’d do Guns and Roses, I would do Michael Jackson. Um, who else would I do? Who would I honestly do? I’d probably bring Nirvana on with “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” for sure. Part of me wants to say Elvis–but the truth would be Green Day.

CC: I don’t know about that, I think Elvis would be pretty cool.

PW: I mean, knowing who Elvis is now, I would definitely say Elvis. But it’s hard to be in the time, in the moment and know. Who knew that when you were standing next to him, he was legendary?

CC: Do you think the democratic format of “FN MTV” will transform the way TV competes against the Internet?

PW: I think it’s going to be interesting. The only real experience I have with live blogging and live feedback where I’ve really watched–besides your American Idol and network TV series, which I don’t count because they are so giant–was CNN. And I think that’s closer to the format that we’re doing. Like kind of how Anderson Cooper does it.

We’re going to have a panel doing commentary on videos, receiving feedback on the videos. Basically, the choices people will have are, “are you liking it,” “are you loving it,” “are you not feeling it at all” or “is it an instant classic.” Those are the four choices you have, and it will be real interesting to see what real reactions from people are.

CC: So when the video comes up, fans will have the ability to see instant feedback on the TV?

PW: Yeah. What we’re going to do, actually, is as the video premieres, James Montgomery who is a blogger from MTV.com will be on the panel. And I’ll turn to James, asking him if the fans are liking it, loving it, are they not feeling it or is it an instant classic. And he’s going to say, “this is what the people had to say about Flo Rider, they loved the video and think it’s a party classic.”

And all week everyone will be able to respond at FNMTV.com and we’ll be able to come back and say, “Well you know what? You put your new video out there, but people say it doesn’t live up to the last one.”

CC: I know you were a student at DePaul University, close to graduating when life happened. What were you studying, and would you ever consider going back to finish your degree?

PW: I was a political science major. And I’m not sure how many credits away I am, but I always tell my mom I’m going to go back. I think she would like to see me have that, but I also think she realizes that life has sent me in another direction. But I was like, “Mom, maybe I can get like Bill Cosby-famous, and some community college will have me come speak at it and give me an honorary degree.”

CC: Do you keep in touch with any professors or friends from school?

PW: I keep in touch with one high school teacher, Mr. Randolph. I had a great professor at DePaul who I don’t keep in touch with, Dr. Brown, but he was one of those guys who changed how I saw the world a little bit. Yeah so I wish I could get in touch with him.

CC: We’ve gone through your resume: Successful musician, businessmen, new husband, father-to-be and now TV host. How do you find time in the day to manage all that?

PW: I’ll be honest, I really only sleep like four hours a day. And that’s just the truth. My mind is constantly racing. It drives the wife [Ashley Simpson-Wentz] crazy; it drives the people that work with me crazy because I’ll call you at 1-2AM, then I’ll start calling you again at 7Am. It pretty much makes people totally crazy. But it’s kinda just how my mind works. It’s just always going, “What about this thing? And what about this?” Like, “How the hell did this FN MTV even happen? It was a weird late night idea. Some of them pan out like that, and some of them don’t work out.

I think that is the important thing: seeing your ideas out. It’s one of the most genuinely amazing experiences you can have. Seeing one of your ideas come to life. It’s like, “Man, I thought of that idea in my bed a year ago, and there it is.” Anyone who has the chance to do that, do it. Even if people are telling you no, or it’s stupid or stick with what you’re good at. It’s like, No, you’re alive only once. It doesn’t matter what people say about you, if you want to do it, and you think it’s cool, then do it.

CC: How did “FN MTV” start?

PW: I had an idea to do a video show and it went through many different formats and many different versions. Then you bring that idea back and figure out what to do with it. Can we do it at MTV? Then this guy Jesse had this idea to put it on Friday nights on MTV, and from there it was like, “We’re going,” and everything sped up. And all of the sudden, I’ve got the first episode coming up really soon.

CC: I saw the Spencer “reality” promo spot. I almost died Did you come up with that?

PW:Oh man, yeah I came up with that. The other ones coming out are crazier; you’ll have to scope them out.

PW: What I look for in someone is: someone who is genuinely dedicated and interested and in love with the things we do. That means, one day you’re running and getting coffee and the next day you could be designing a graphic; one day you’re picking someone up from the airport and the next day you’re telling me which song is a single and which song is not a single. I am most interested in passionate people. I don’t need someone around me who is going to “Sir, yes, Mr. Wentz, yes Mr. Wentz.” I need someone who is going to be like, “No that is stupid” or whatever. I’m interested in that. I want you to be passionate and believe in what you do and love what you do.

CC: You were a high school soccer star. What teams do you support?

PW: I’m still a Chicago Fire fan even though I’m in Galaxy territory. They we’re having open tryouts for the Galaxy and I almost went out, but my ankle was still broken so I couldn’t do it. They said of the 800 people that came out only two were of “MLS ability.” I don’t think I’m of MLS ability, but it would have been fun to get out there and run around.

Check out “FN MTV” this Friday, June 13 (yes, it’s Friday the 13th!) at 8pm EST on MTV.

Hate it or love it, here are some throwback jams to start your evening:

“OPP” by Naughty by Nature

Yeah, you know me!

Other people’s property? Sure… that’s what it means. Whether you know any of the actual lyrics or not, you can’t not scream the chorus.

“Shoop” by Salt N Pepa.

Ummm you’re packed and you’re stacked, ‘specially from the back / Brotha wanna thank ya motha for a butt like that…

I can’t not be happy when I hear this song. I also have it memorized and spontaneously start rapping when it comes on. My friends have learned to embrace it.

“Mo Money, Mo Problems” by the Notorious B.I.G., featuring Puff Daddy (before he was Diddy and making bands) and Ma$e.

It’s like the mo’ money we come across, the mo’ problems we see…

Seventh grade dances, anyone? Come onnnn you know you love it.

“I Wish” by Skee Lo

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller…

Skee Lo was probably five four and had no game, but someone found it amusing to give him a rap deal and brighten all of our lives back when MTV played videos.

“Nothin But A G Thang” by Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre.

One, two, three and to tha fo’…

If Snoop and Dr. Dre were at my door, I could die happy. As it is, I have to settle for their soundtrack. You may also consider “Gin and Juice,” if you’re feeling laaaaaid back, with your mind on your money and your money on your mind.

“Rump Shaker” by Wrecks N Effect

I like the way ya comb your hair, uh /

I like the stylish clothes ya wear, uh…

Alright, we all wanna zooma-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom…. The terrible lyrics suck you in.

“Make Em Say UHHHH” by Master P

UHHHH, na-NA-na-NA, na-NA-na-NA

He’s not talented, but you want to say “uhhhh” right along with him.

“E.I.” by Nelly

Oh ohhhh, what’s poppin tonight?

First of all, the entire Country Grammar album should be on your pregame playlist. But I’m going to assume you knew that.

“Can I Get A…” by Jay Z, featuring Ja Rule (where did he go??) and that one chick

…or even worse, if I was broke, would ya want me?

We all loved Rush Hour, and we all bought the soundtrack and listened to it religiously. Own it.

“Roll Out” by Ludacris

Now where’d you get that platinum chain with them diaaaaaaamonds in it?

It’s a tossup between this and “Fantasy,” but this is just so fun …

“Feel So Good” by Ma$e

Bad, bad, bad, bad boy, ya make me feel so goooood…

Yes, he’s getting a lot of play on this list, but it’s only because he disappeared. It’s too bad he became a preacher. Revisit his glory days, you know, before “Breathe, Stretch, Shake.”

So these are some of my favorite essentials. Make yourself a mix and start your evening off right!