So according to a recent study, the Internet is making us depressed.

While the scientists behind the study link depression to the amount of time spent in a virtual world, I have a few of my own theories as to why the Internet is making us all very, very sad.

1: Checking on the Ex.  If you are about to say that you have never fallen prey to Facebooking our ex you’d better grab a fire extinguisher, because your pants are on fire.  After a break-up, as detailed by Ted Mosby on “How I Met Your Mother,” there is a clear winner and a clear loser.  And of course, you want your ex to be the loser.  So you’ll casually click on his Facebook, just to see how he’s doing (i.e. hopefully read a bunch of depressing status updates regarding his horrible life since you guys broke up, maybe some encouraging wall posts from his friends trying in vain to get him out of his depression of knowing that there was no one else for him than you…) and what do you find? NEW PICTURES OF HIM AND SOME GIRL?!  IT’S ONLY BEEN A WEEK!  WHO IS THIS “JESSICA”??!  You click through the entire album at least twice, only to find that this little witch is now apparently dating your vile ex, and (after a small amount of clicking) she’s just gorgeous and cool and perfect.  <Insert depressing Status Update here.>

2: Online Shopping. You avoid the expensive stores in the mall because you know you can’t afford them, but there’s no avoiding that amazing Botkier bag or Louboutin pump that you happen to come across while absentmindedly surfing the web in lecture. And seeing it there, taunting you with its beauty, sends you into a deep fit of depression when you know you can’t afford it. Read More »

I used to wear my iPod everywhere.

Walking to school, iPod. Sitting on the subway, iPod. Waiting for class to start, iPod. Grocery shopping, iPod. I never went anywhere without music.

There’s lots of reasons I chose music over realty, strange men telling me I should be their girlfriend at 8:30 AM certainly being one of them, but the easiest answer is that I didn’t really think there was much the world could offer me while I was alone. Walking by yourself can be a semi-lonely activity, especially if you’ve got a long way to go and don’t see many friendly faces on your way there.

So, I was plugged in. Walking quickly and keeping my face blank (looking too friendly in the city is sometimes an open invitation for crazy people to ask you to pet their plastic snake), I spent my days forging ahead and allowing The Police to soundtrack my life.

Until I overheard a conversation that changed everything. Read More »