Type 1:“The Talented Celebrity.”  Think models who have shown up on the cover of Italian Vogue, actors like Brad Pitt who have starred in everything from comedy to drama, and music moguls who come out with one hit after another (think Madonna).

Type 2: “The Train Wreck- Once Famous, Now in Rehab.”  These are people like Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse, who are no doubt talented, but can’t keep themselves away from the bars and the drugs long enough to earn coveted longevity in Hollywood.

Type 3: “Why the Hell are They Famous?” The people who People Magazine, US Weekly, and Perez Hilton constantly cover, we all read about, and none of us are exactly sure what this person has done to deserve press coverage (think Anna Nicole Smith).  Below is a list of the ten best examples of these non-celebrities – the ones that take over our headlines, but haven’t done much to merit this press coverage.  And if anyone can tell me why we actually care what these people are up to…well, be my guest.

1. Kim Kardashian- While she is no doubt stunning, her fame stems from the fact that her rich father served as OJ Simpson’s lawyer during his criminal trial…and then she had sex with Ray J.  Her lone film, Disaster Flick, came out in 2008, and was rated the second worst film ever created at the Internet Movie Database. Sure, she’s been on Dancing With the Stars and her own reality show since then, but I must ask: why was this one ever on our radar!?

2. Heidi and Spencer Pratt- While The Hills enjoys high ratings, two young adults arguing for a 30-minute episode about their relationship, their parents, and how they should get married is not enough to give anyone celebrity status.  If America wants to watch two people argue, then MTV should come to my house and film my mom begging me to do dumb chores.  Being rich and argumentative is not enough to warrant fame.

3. Octomom – Her birth of octuplets this past year caused a national scandal when people became concerned about child neglect and proper monetary support (and the fact that she looks like Angelina…). Getting six embryos implanted in you when you already have six kids definitely does not make you a celebrity…slightly crazy, but not a celebrity.

4. Nicole Richie – Best known for her stint on The Simple Life with fellow socialite Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie’s presence in celebrity tabloids is mostly in candid photos of her and daughter Harlow, or musician husband Joel Madden of Good Charlotte.  She has yet to sing or act in anything of true merit other than being herself on a reality show and is truly a celebrity’s wife, not a celebrity herself.

5. Tila Tequila -  Tila got famous for having a lot of friends on MySpace. Don’t get me wrong, popularity is cool, but since when do we celebrate the trashy people who actually use MySpace?

6. Kevin Federline – Known mostly for his disastrous short-lived marriage to Britney Spears, Federline’s attempts to make it in “the industry” resulted in his 2006 record being one of the worst-received in music history and making him appear as an Eminem wannabe.  His short stint on One Tree Hill as an aggressive musician did little to advance his acting career, and his appearances on wrestling programming did even less to advance his image.  So, while Britney Spears seems to have come out of her funk with hits like “Circus” and “Womanizer,” Federline is now famous for changing diapers and babysitting Sean and Jayden.

7. Paris Hilton – Just another blonde socialite who formed a fashion line and had one hit song (“Stars are Blind”).  Being born rich does not make you a celebrity.  Becoming rich due to talent does.

8. Melissa Rycroft – Seriously, I’ve been dumped by plenty of guys. Where is my offer to be on the cover of a magazine?

9. Whitney Port – Starring in her very own spin-off of The Hills, Whitney Port was nicknamed “the new Carrie Bradshaw.”  Um. No. Freaking. Way. And if being on a reality show weren’t bad enough, spinning off the show that gave fame to squabbling California teenagers merits even less respect in my mind. She is no Carrie. Don’t even joke.

10. Suri Cruise - This girl gets more covers than paid actors. Just because she was born.  Why do we as consumers care what a two–year-old is wearing?

Let me say this: I continue to have a bitter distaste for Dan, and Chuck remains (by far) my total fave. AND Lily gained some cool points tonight too. If you missed it, stop reading now, turn on your DVR, and watch. And if you watched, feel free to comment on your favorite part of last night’s stellar ep.

The show started with the usual Yale bullsh*t. Blah blah blah, aren’t they in yet, already? No, they aren’t. And there’s a certain new, young, hot teacher who is going to rock everyone’s world. Anybody else think it’s weird that Serena instantly becomes her new Shakespeare teacher’s bff? I mean, I had teachers I was tight with, but not to this degree. And, a note to Ms. Carr, never tell your students it’s your first salaried gig. That’s just asking for it.

As the Yale-shizz unravels, Serena laments to Dan that she is afraid that she’ll get into Yale, and Blair won’t. Presumptuous? Or foreshadowing?

This week’s weekly party is the opera gala. Seriously? That’s not nearly as exciting as the white party. But I suppose it’ll do, since Jack has already thrown Chuck’s dead father into the mix. We all know that Chuck was had by Jack last week, but is he going to take that? Hell. No.  And you gotta love Lily in this ep for making it happen.

So, on the Yale train, Dan gets in, Serena gets in, Blair gets waitlisted, and Ms. Carr threatens to destroy B’s GPA by not inflating grades.  Which obviously infuriates Blair.  And because S. apparently has a girl-crush on “Rachel,” (who calls high school teachers by their first names?), she declines Yale so B. can take her spot.

Of course, Blair can’t let it rest, so she instigates a plan to hurt Rachel’s feelings, only to find out that Rachel put in a good word for her at school.  Though she does try to fix it, Rachel’s pissed, and calls the headmistress to report Blair, putting the Queen Bee in detention.  For real. This can’t be good.

And then we get to the yelling-at-the-tv-thing.  Lily and Bart were planning on adopting each others’ kids to be a “real family.” And Bart signed the papers before he died.  So, Lily’s signature will make her Chuck’s guardian and thwart Jack’s douchey plans.  SERIOUSLY. AWESOME. When that happened, I looked at the clock: 8:45.  And I knew there was still 15 minutes of major dramz to come.

Obviously pissed off, the crazy Jack tries to rape Lily in the bathroom of the opera.  That’s a Lifetime Original Movie all in itself.   Chuck interrupts, punches Jack in the face, and tells Lily, “This doesn’t mean we’re family.  Just even.” GOD I love you, CB.

At the close of the episode, Ms. Carr runs into Dan in Brooklyn for a cappucino.  The fact that she was in Teach for America, and hot, and obviously written into the GG script to create tension makes me bet on a tumultuous Pacey-Witter-inspired affair bewteen Ms. Carr and Dan.  Can’t wait for that.  But be careful, Rachel, because Blair has officially waged war on you.  And a slip up such as Dan Humphrey could make it oh-so-easy.

Jenny’s resolution, apparently, was to finish high school…but she’s dropped the “Little J” business and makes it her goal to save Nelly from Blair’s Queen Bee squad. She recruits Eric and Nelly to take over the “cool” table, and, since Blair’s having a Bass-induced breakdown, J manages to win the upper hand. Ironically, when Nelly realizes that Jenny has no hope of stealing Blair’s crown, she runs back to the popular kids. Ha, ha, ha. What satire!

Meanwhile, the writers took advantage of GG’s break to make a clean break from Serena’s art-beau, Aaron, who doesn’t even get a sappy break-up scene. (Thank God.) Instead, it seems that S. just flat out left him in Buenos Aires when she realized that Lily and Rufus weren’t shacking up and that she could bang Dan without feeling incestuous. Rufus, of course, is less than happy to find Serena and Dan blissfully happy. Remember last month’s cliffhanger? “Was it a boy or a girl?” We find out that it was a boy, and that Lily put him up for adoption and relinquished her rights to ever search for him, much to Rufus’s dismay.

Chuck, still wallowing in the aftermath of his father’s untimely death, has become a zombie that not even Blair can seem to crack. So, he brings a joint to school and breaks the news to Dan that he has an illegitimate half-brother out there somewhere. Blair remains faithful to her shell of a man-crush, and even tries to act as his guardian when he’s summoned to the office for smoking hash in the hallways (how cute), but then the mysterious new character, Uncle Jack, interrupts and takes responsibility. What does Jack have up his sleeve?

Just before her party, it seems that Blair is ready to wash her hands of Chuck, though she insists, “I’m not abandoning Chuck. I’m just saving myself.” I actually believed her. But I guess when someone almost falls to their death in a drunken stupor, you have to let yourself care again, at least a little.

The ending was sweet, I think, when Chuck finally climbs down and into savior-Blair’s arms, but to me, after all of the “say the words” games we had to suffer through last semester, it was anti-climatic. Especially since a dramatic tension still lingers between Blair and Uncle Jack. Of course, this is the GG style. Wrap up some of the old loose ends (the explanation of Lily’s first kid) and leave a lot of room for the drama to snowball into the inevitable avalanche that will be the season finale.

Welcome back, Upper East Siders. My Monday nights are back! Although…my Chace Crawford cravings have yet to be satisfied.

Blair is still hell-bent on going to Yale, even though her little tiff with S. a couple of weeks ago may have maimed her chances. The solution? Serena gets Blair to babysit the Dean’s niece to earn brownie points. Only problem (and who didn’t see this one coming?) is that little Emma is on a mission to lose her virginity.

Gossip Girl put it quite poetically: Lady B…outsoxed by a young fox. Because, of course, if there’s a young, horny virgin on the prowl, she’s bound to get intercepted by the one and only Chuck Bass.

Favorite line of the night, courtesy of Mr. Bass: “The only thing I like aged is my scotch.” LOVE it.

However, Mr. Bass laments to Blair that he holds very few things sacred, and one of those things is humping in the back of a limo. How sweet, in a pervy Chuck Bass kind of way. Needless to say, the jailbait bounced and hit up a club in search of Mr. Right Now.

Meanwhile, Little J. is planning her big, risque fashion debut… at a charity gala being thrown in honor of Lily and Bart. Like that doesn’t have “disaster” written all over it. She pulls the “Do you care about me?” card with Nate…isn’t it a little early to try to whip your new boy toy, Little J.? Nonetheless, Nate takes the bait and the next thing we know, GG is loading Jenny and Nate’s second kiss into an RSS feed.

Gossip Girl actually played quite the role in tonight’s episode – as everyone was running around trying to figure out who was where (and with whom), they all kept going back to GG, and finally, Chuck managed to lure Emma (the young virgin) back to Blair by getting GG to post some fake story about Emma’s rival, Muffy. If you’re lost here, don’t worry. It was all just some filler material, though it did raise the question of how the hell Chuck can pull even the mysterious Gossip Girl’s strings.

My favorite part of the night? Blair tries to have a heart-to-heart with Emma about how her first time should be special, and finally mutters the L-word, in reference to Chuck. I squealed a bit here, though I don’t know if I believe that Blair knew she loved C-Bass during the limo trysts. Oh well, B. Saying it once opens the flood gates for more confessions in the future.

BTW, Blair got some juice on Emma’s mom, but decided not to blackmail her, and karma came back around: it looks like B’s going to Yale after all. Jenny’s fashion show was a success, though Rufus tried to get her arrested for her shenanigans, which prompted Jenny to flee (and it looks like she’ll be getting in way too deep in the coming weeks); Dan kicked Nate out of the house; Vanessa threw a temper tantrum over Jenny and Nate; Jenny dumped Nate out of respect for V (though she promptly bounced anyway); and Aaron the art dude may or may not have a harem of girlfriends. We’ll find out when he takes S to dinner next week.

What to look for next week: Dan finally grows some balls (or thinks he does), and it looks like his Chuck Bass story is going to press…which can’t be good for anyone on the Upper East Side.

Early in the episode, Blair commented to Dan, “Look who finally got a little interesting.” Meh. Dan’s still boring old foot-in-his mouth Lonely Boy to me, but Jenny! Jenny is the Humphrey who finally kicked it up a notch tonight.

Tonight was one of those nights where I screamed at my TV like a maniac. We got new characters, tons of partial nudity, and two fabulous lust stories unfolding, all in approximately 42 minutes of screen time. Chuck and Blair are still playing games, and daring each other to say the infamous “Three Words.” And you know what? I want them to freaking say it already!

Blair is so desperate, she’s taken to Lonely Boy for advice. And he delivers: “Keep your pride and get nothing, or take a risk, and maybe…maybe have everything.” Of course, Dan can’t walk away when he’s on top, so he sabotages Blair after Debbie-Downer Vanessa tattles on Blair and Chuck’s love games that she got served last week. Dammit, Dan!

Meanwhile, Jenny’s been hanging out with one of Eleanor’s models, Agnes, who keeps pointing out that Eleanor is just using Jenny. Agnes has the perfect solution: let a 15-year-old high school dropout start her own fashion line! Not that that would be the most ridiculous storyline that GG has offered us. So Jenny decides to go Brooke-Davis, swipes her designs from Eleanor, and jets off to take her top off with Agnes and her sexy photog friend. Because what would GG be without some gratuitous baring of flesh?

Another sexy addition to the GG cast this week is Aaron, the new artsy dude in town. He’s got his eye on Serena, and there’s definitely a connection, which prompts Aaron to present Serena with television’s most AWKWARD date invitation, ever, followed by television’s most bizarre post-rejection riddle, involving “Cecil the Caterpillar.” We later come to discover that “Cecil” is a reference to Serena’s days at European summer camp, and that she and Aaron might be fated (at least, for the time being). If I’ve lost you, don’t worry- it’s just another excuse to catch up on what I think is the steamiest ep to date.

Blair and Chuck’s game of horny cat-and-mouse came to an emotional pause tonight, when Chuck told Blair that once they say the three words, it will be the beginning of the end. What would become of Chuck and Blair holding hands? Chuck and Blair going to the movies? I have to admit, Chuckie has a point… but that doesn’t mean I didn’t scream, “Say the f*cking words!” repeatedly as tears streamed down Blair’s face.

Just when I thought the show couldn’t end on a better note, Nate busts in on Jenny and Agnes’ topless tea party and drags her naive ass out of there. Jenny asks Nate why he cares what she does, because, you know, he’s not her dad and he’s not her brother… but that only leaves one protective male role for Nate to play: her new lover!

Yes, friends, you read right! Jenny and Nate! Jenny and Nate! Jenny and Nate and a newly babe-ified Taylor Momsen with Chace Crawford’s hands all over her skinny ass. If I have to wait a few more episodes for some steamy Blair-and-Chuck booty calls, I will settle with the next best thing, which is our precious Little J getting the hottest piece on the whole show.

I wonder what breakfast is going to be like at the Humphrey house tomorrow.

I have a confession. When Joey Potter chose Pacey Witter over Dawson Leary, I was pissed. I mean, the show was “Dawson’s Creek,” not “Pacey’s Creek.”

That said, Gossip Girl seems to be taking a similar turn this season, as the supporting characters are totally stealing the spotlight. How ironic, considering that last night’s episode was all about Blair’s insecurity and the dark shadow that Serena casts on her. Let’s just get right down to business and discuss.

This week’s GG lesson? Your whole life is fulfilled when your photo appears in US Weekly, apparently. And if you aren’t photographed by the paparazzi at the age of sixteen, apparently all of your conniving plans to take charge of your mom’s fashion show and upstage your (former) bff will blow up in your face and bring great success to everyone else.

Blair is running on a very short fuse. But in this episode, you gotta feel for the poor girl. Let’s revisit:

-B. gets her friends 2nd row seats to the fashion show.

-S. appears in a trashy gossip mag.

-Little J. suggests putting S. and her new socialite friend, Poppy, in the front row, thwarting the childhood tradition of B. and S. helping backstage at the show.

-B. has a nervous breakdown with the maid, then discovers that Jenny has been skipping school, and decides to ruin J’s life to feel better about herself.

-At Eleanor Waldorf’s fashion show, B. tries to take the reins, only to have Little J. stand up to her. And win. Even Eleanor take’s Jenny’s side. Ouch. Your own mother choosing the social outcast over you must really sting.

-B. tries to get even, without considering that such antics as dismissing all of the models might ruin her mother’s show. Little J. suggests replacing the models with Serena and Poppy, which further infuriates B.

-Finally, B. switches Serena’s dress, replacing her mother’s design with a Little J. original. Still, everyone but Blair comes out on top when the dress is a smash.

See what I mean? No matter what, Blair just can’t win. And, despite informing Rufus that she’s dropping out of school, it looks like Jenny has a glimmer of hope in the fashion world (which she will undoubtedly screw up in a future episode). After J. sympathizes with B. (we both have to work for everything, blah blah blah, that’s why I wanted to be your friend), Blair tries to reconcile with Serena, only to have Serena brush her off to go do rich socialite things with Poppy.

In other supporting character news, Dan makes a feeble attempt to experience the life of Chuck Bass, which leads to tequila shots, street drugs, and Dan being left on the street with no wallet and no shoes. This is all in the name of inspiring Dan’s next novel. Because that makes perfect sense. Dan’s mentor tells him that the “Chuck” character in Dan’s manuscript is way more exciting than the “Dan” character (sorry, Lonely Boy, it’s true), so Dan tries to crack the vault that is Chuck Bass.

What do we learn? Chuck craves attention from his dad, who may or may not resent him due to the fact that the original Mrs. Bass may or may not have died giving birth to Chuck. After Chuck tries to purchase a prostitute that’s really just a scantily clad lass, Dan gets socked by an angry boyfriend, and the two boys land in the slammer. Which is the perfect opportunity for the cops to give Chuck Dan’s belongings (because that’s what happens when you go to jail, you accidentally get someone else’s sh*t when you leave), and Chuck realizes he was a case study. I can’t wait to see where this one goes.

While the supporting storylines of Blair and Chuck are totally giving us the most dramz, the old-people subplots are still somewhat ho-hum. Lily has a big secret, which her new husband, Bart Bass, discovered when he did a PI background check on her. Do I really care? Not really. And Rufus is trying to play the father, but Jenny’s not having it. Meh. I’m over it.

GG did leave us with a nice little quote, which not only applies to the power-struggle between television’s best queen bees, but also says something about the fact that Leighton Meester is currently stealing the show from Blake Lively: the brightest stars are the fastest to fall.

Who would have thought that Nate’s mistress from last week, Catherine, could also be the stepmother of Blair’s new man, Marcus “Suprise! I’m not boring, I’m a British Lord” Beaton? If you missed last night’s GG episode, yes, you read that correctly. Catherine is Marcus’ stepmother. And she’s still jonesing for some young Archibald lovin’.

Am I getting ahead of myself? I’m sorry, but so far this season I feel like the Serena/Dan drama takes a backseat to the follies of the other socialites. Last week, we left Serena and Dan in the middle of a romantic cliche – beach, bonfire, fireworks, everything that will never happen when I’m alone with a dude – and this week, Serena wakes up on the beach and tells Dan that they can’t just jump back into their relationship. Umm, why not? No matter, this is Serena Van der Woodsen we’re talking about, and two minutes later she’s boning Dan in the bathroom of the NYC-bound bus.

Now that we’ve cleared up Serena’s life, back to Blair. She’s been hinting to Marcus that she wants to meet the duchess (obvi), and Marcus seems a bit withheld. Blair Waldorf, not worthy of meeting someone’s parents? What has a summer in the Hamptons done to this world? Of course, this is all snowballing into the pinnacle that is every GG episode: the lavish party where all the real drams goes down. Fearing the duchess won’t be impressed by her Waldorfiness, Blair throws together a bash, which gives Chuck and excuse to wear a dapper red blazer and pink shirt enemble, and Blake Lively the chance to remind us why, even though her storyline is a little bland right now, she still owns the show. Her dress for Blair’s party was amazing.

If you’ve seen the previews for this week’s episode, then you already saw Blair put her foot in her mouth when Chuck somehow wrangles the duchess into being his date, which prompts Blair to make a crude Botox joke, only to retract it when Catherine announces that she’s Duchess Beaton. Oops. I saw that commercial, so I was waiting for Blair’s slip-up, but I definitely did not put it together that the duchess is also Nate’s lover, Catherine. That part still sort of blows my mind.

I guess it blows Nate’s mind too, because the next thing you know, he’s in the library with Catherine, whining that he can’t be his ex-girlfriend’s stepfather. Woah, slow down, young pup. She’s obviously just using you for your Chace Crawford eyes, smile, and abs. Aren’t you supposedly still in high school? I don’t think you’ll be walking down the aisle just yet.

Speaking of husbands and families and step-scenarios, remember Nate’s dad? Well, since he’s MIA, apparently the FBI wants to take all of Nate’s mother’s assets. Because when the core group of characters on a television show is filthy stinkin’ rich, it adds suspense to threaten their extravagantly cozy existences. And because we need to give Chuck one more glimmer of humanity by letting him loan money to Mrs. Archibald. In other family news, Dan and Jenny’s dad returns from touring with band, and we are treated to a sentimental little montage of the three “poor people” of the show. How cute.

Remember last week, when Catherine tried to end things with Nate, and then Nate made Catherine jealous, so she practically jumped him at the White Party? Well, it seems that Catherine’s still quite the seductress, and she and Nate start fooling around in the library, which is the perfect time for Blair to walk in on them and discover the little secret. The scriptwriting is particularly fantastic here, as Blair’s response is simply, “Oh my effing God!”

Nate scampers off, and with Blair alone with Catherine, she’s able to apologize for her earlier comment, insist that she truly cares for Marcus, and ask for Catherine’s pity. All of this is served with a side of blackmail, of course, because it’s Blair effing Waldorf we’re talking about.

As the last few minutes are ticking away, GG gives us the Humphrey family reunion, a brief interlude between the Blair/Nate/Catherine drama and the Blair/Chuck drama that will end the show and leave us salivating for next week’s ep. A girly slumber party for Serena and Blair grants the token girls-in-lingerie shot, as well as the token Blair-runs-into-Chuck-in-the-kitchen shot. I love the sexual tension that’s building between Chuck and Blair, and can’t wait for them to get it on again. In the meantime, Blair asserts that Chuck lost and that the Duchess does like Blair, because she saw herself in Blair… or rather, “I recognized someone in her.”

Line of the night, hands down.

As the episode closes, Nate blows off Vanessa (who I really didn’t miss in this episode), and Catherine hands him a package, presumably some cash for Mommy Archibald.

The kids are now officially ready to head back to school, and this season of Gossip Girl is already promising more sex, deceit, and revenge than ever. Bring it on, GG. I’m ready.

Especially when I’m talking to total strangers, or in this case Landon Pigg – who I wish wasn’t a total stranger to me, because I’m quite sure we’d get along famously, in the non-famousy way. However, from seeing two of his performances in the past couple weeks I’m fairly certain he’s going to be all sorts of “famous” very soon.

Magazine cover famous. AOL’s top ten hottest musicians famous. Rumoured to be dating some random Gossip Girl or Mary-Kate Olsen type famous. That kind of famous, though the latter would be tragic. He seems much too sane to make those types of bad decisions involving starlets or socialites.

But I digress. I know how your little minds work, where does the porn come in??

Before I introduced myself to him, Landon played an incredible show at The Living Room in New York City. Unlike many artists who have tweaked or auto-tuned so much of their albums they’re unable to echo the sounds we’re used to, Landon exceeded all expectation. Not only did his songs (the popular “Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop”) sound exactly like his record, they sounded better.

Not to mention that fact that he could have just stood on stage and chatted about random stories from life on the road and he still would have had the audience in the palm of his hand. From the looks of the table across from me I’m surprised bras weren’t thrown at high speed towards his face. Women (and men I’m sure) were in full swoon.

Landon’s lyrics are honest and relatable. He makes himself vulnerable on stage and has this whole elvin vibe, (ya know — like Lord of the Rings?  Yes I’m nerdy enough to think elves are hot) and impish grin that makes you want say, “Tell me more, tell me more!” (Wow. I have officially referenced Grease and LOTR in one paragraph, I am awesome)

At the end of Landon’s show and my emotional journey (if you haven’t heard “Great Companion”, it’s the perfect song to accompany a good cry in a glass of whiskey) I felt like I should let him know I was going to write about him on CollegeCandy, which had me mentioning that it is in fact, not a porn site. Though if it were, I’m sure I could still write an article on Landon and the porn industry, or porn itself. So Landon, as promised, here are your two paragraphs on you…and porn:

I would say Landon’s album could be the soundtrack for a porn, but that would be a lie. Unless of course it was a very romantic porno and let’s be honest, porn is anything but romantic. His music would lend itself much better to a soundtrack for a movie staring Reese Witherspoon, or a Grey’s Anatomy episode where Mcdreamy and neurotic Meredith fight the urge to jump eachother in an elevator. “Magnetism” would be song used in that scene.

Truthfully, Landon seems to have an understanding about women being objectified by entertainment and the unrealistic standards that are set. Which would include the world of porn, were women are perfectly blonde, perfectly large breasted, tanned, toned and for the most part, catering entirely to the desires of men. In the song “Dressed To Kill,” Landon speaks specifically about what women go through in order to get attention and approval to feel validated:

“I know I feed your desires / to wear red lipstick and be dressed for the kill /Yeah, I know I feed your desires cause now you’re murdering my soul / So you take off your glasses and highlight your lashes and it’s the beginning of a sad song / You lower your collar I start to notice and it’s the beginning of a sad sad song…”

Sad, sad song indeed.

If all men could think like Landon, maybe women would be allowed to feel a bit more comfortable in their own skin, rather than trying to fit into a certain mold of beauty. So maybe his tunes aren’t exactly sextastic porno rhythms. Maybe they’re beautiful representations of what love and the different dimensions of life is really all about, and that is just fine by me.