Newt Gingrich thinks Brad Pitt should play him in a movie.

Do teen girls need more “protection“?

Miley Cyrus bought a new car… with cash.

Look cute while watching the Superbowl.

7 perfect V-day gifts!

Are your psychological problems determined by your favorite princess?

Movies girls love!

How does stress effect your skin… and your confidence?

Marriage isn’t a right; it’s a privilege. Depending on the time, place, and partner, getting married could be harder than getting into Harvard, if not downright impossible. As recently as fifty years ago, miscegenation laws would have forbid me from marrying my boyfriend (or any man not my race) in certain areas of the United States. Before that, the legal and social benefits to getting married were denied to minorities, immigrants, and the poor for centuries. Marriage is, for lack of a better analogy, membership into the biggest country club in the world.

For me, getting married would be a personal endorsement of some of the worst societal norms in existence.

The supposed “right” to marry has never been much of a right at all, and our understanding of marriage as a basic liberty is unique to contemporary times. Thanks to my predisposition for heterosexuality, it’s a liberty I could easily exercise, but I’d much rather march in a rally than down an aisle, because I find it difficult to take part in a practice that is denied to others (plenty of them my friends). Even with the best of intentions, I can’t imagine that my own wedding will serve any purpose but to reinforce existing norms, such as the idea that a relationship is only valuable if recognized by a third-party institution.

It’s ironic, then, that I consider marriage equality an extremely important political issue, and the only one to which I’ve devoted significant time and money. Why should a feminist support the inclusion of queer people in what is historically a sexist institution? Besides the “separate but equal” disaster that civil unions would create, I think same-sex marriage might just be the only way to save marriage as an institution.

Critics of marriage equality often claim that it will lead to the demise of traditional marriage, while supporters insist that nothing will change by allowing queer people to marry. Though I share little else in common with them, I agree with the former group. It’s disingenuous, or at the very least, naive, to suggest that legalizing same-sex marriage won’t threaten traditional marriage. It absolutely will, and I hope it does. Traditional marriage is an institution that has historically treated women as property and men as property owners. It has fueled our culture’s obsession with virginity and female purity, while justifying the rape of child brides and the battering of women who dare to not serve their husbands. A half-century’s worth of gender equality under Western law neither creates equality in practice nor does it negate thousands of years of subjugation.

Recognizing same-sex relationships may very well be the only thing that can keep marriage a relevant social institution. Same-sex marriage subverts the gender roles that have dominated marriage — and by extension, society — for the great majority of human history. Every gay marriage is a statement against antiquated roles and practices we’ve come to take for granted. (Who, for example, walks down the aisle in a gay wedding ceremony?) Marriage is far more appealing a notion when I think of queer couples getting hitched without white dresses and gendered proposals. Accepting gay marriage also means rejecting one of the most enduring aspects of traditional marriage: its exclusivity. No longer would marriage be a privilege of the appropriately heterosexual.

I’m not holding my breath, but if this long-suffering institution changes, then perhaps my opinion of it will too. Because frankly, I wish I could get married. I wish I could don a white wedding gown without having to think about its sexually repressive implications as much as I wish I lived in a society without prerequisites for legal recognition of romantic relationships. Unfortunately, that isn’t this society, at least not yet. Perhaps we’ll never get there in my lifetime, but if that’s the case, then to paraphrase Groucho Marx, I wouldn’t want to join a club that would have me as a member anyway.

That is when I found this.

The article discusses women of all ages and our constant comparisons to others, but it really struck me as something college girls deal with daily.

When I force myself to think about it, I realize that I am an accomplished girl. I go to a great university where I excel in my classes, I have great friends, a great family and plenty of awesome life experiences. But I don’t often think that way.

Instead, I am always comparing myself to the people around me. The friend who always gets better grades, the girl who always has the boyfriend, and every single girl who is thinner and prettier than I am.

I constantly find myself thinking that I should have a boyfriend by now, that I should have seen Europe by now, or that I should have done a lot more by this stage in my life than I have. No matter how well I do on an exam, I always think that I should have done better. No matter how good I look before I leave the house, the other girls at the bar look better.

We live in a society that is obsessed with both success and looking into the lives of others (hello, reality TV), which is the perfect combination for a mindset like mine. All of this makes me wonder if any of us will ever be satisfied with our personal accomplishments.

What do you think?

We are all fed up with our society’s impossible and unrealistic perception of beauty, and Laurie urges women everywhere to stop trying to change our bodies and start trying to change our mindsets.

I read somewhere that women have a negative thought about their bodies every 15 minutes. Sadly, this doesn’t surprise me.  I can look at my own thoughts over the years and say that sounds about right.  The more I talk to women and girls of all ages and body types, the more

I realize I am not alone.

I did feel alone at one point. I didn’t know that other girls felt like me.  In junior high, the pain of feeling left out, created an overwhelming desire to feel accepted and to feel a sense of belonging.  After losing some of my post-gymnastics, puberty weight the summer before high school, I noticed I got a little more attention from guys and girls. I felt pretty good. Soon I began skipping all meals except dinner with my family (so they wouldn’t find me out) and, when I needed more control, I began throwing up every night after dinner. My battle with anorexia-bulimia took over my life for the next six years my thoughts were occupied with how I was not going to eat, or if I had to eat, when I could throw it up, and how I would hide it from everyone who cared about me. My recovery began my sophomore year of college for a variety of reasons and with the support of family and friends who really didn’t have any idea how to help.

This experience fueled a passion in me to help women and girls to “love themselves for who they are and who they will become.” My healing has come through following my dream of starting a summer camp for adolescent girls, facilitating conversations about what really matters (that nobody talks about), and telling my story.  It is my belief that “Every Woman has a Story.”

So, why the negative thoughts about our bodies every 15 minutes? We are in a media-saturated society where women unconsciously strive for an unrealistic, unattainable image of beauty and perfection. We could spend a semester or more looking at all the ways, historically-speaking, we arrived here, but I want to explore HOW WE CAN CHANGE THE DEFINITION OF WHAT SOCIETY PERCEIVES AS BEAUTIFUL.

The CHANGE starts with you. Who do you talk to more than anyone else? Your roommate? Your mom?  Your best friend? I can confidently say I know the answer…it’s you!

Self-Talk: How do you talk to yourself about other girls?

Do you needlessly compare yourself to other women? Measuring up the size of your waist, your butt, your chest? “I wish my waist was small and toned like hers,” or, “look at all the junk-in-her-trunk – I’m glad my butt is not that big.”

This was me several years ago:  I am at the gym, (you know the drill) on the treadmill, people-watching, and I see a cute, toned, super-fit woman about my age, maybe even 10 years older, and I can’t help but think, “What a bitch – she probably doesn’t have to have a job, so she can be in here working out several hours every day. It must be genetics – so lucky, hate her!” Then I scan to a heavier girl next to her and think, ”Keep on working, sister – going that slow on the elliptical won’t get you anywhere and you really should not be wearing spandex.”

Why are we not more naturally inclined to admire other women’s bodies? Does it go back to what we’ve always heard – we put others down to make ourselves feel better? Do we then feel better?  Is competition the “American-way”?

I CHALLENGE you to CHANGE the way you think and talk about other women. Develop this habit and train yourself on how you talk about others in your mind and out loud.

Now when I am at the gym, I coach myself to think positively about the women (and men) around me.  They are most likely at the gym for the same reason I am – they want to stay or get healthy, and feel better about themselves. So when I see the cute, super-fit woman on the treadmill ahead of me, now in my head I think, “Wow! Beautiful and strong…what amazing commitment you have to keeping your body healthy! I wonder what your story is?

I know from experience that it’s not easy, so I am proud of you and look up to you. Keep up the great work!”  When I glance at the heavier girl, I think to myself, “You go girl! You are on that elliptical doing what you can do and every step will make you healthier – of body and mind! Keep it up! It will get easier!” Now I attach my emotions to them not based on how their appearance makes me feel about mine, but on how their effort and the thought that “Every Woman has a Story” makes me see them as beautiful.

Guess what? Doing this consistently has helped me to feel better about me and to feel more connected to others.

Self Talk: How do you talk to yourself, about yourself? 

How do you feel about your body? Do you have a running monologue of negative-self-defeating thoughts that run through your head throughout the day?  Most all of us do.  Some thoughts are everyday complaints we share with friends: “I feel so fat,” “My face is so broken out,” or “I can’t believe I did that.”  Interestingly, the thoughts that are the most hurtful are those that we usually do not share with others: “I hate myself,” “I cannot stand this disgusting roll around my waist,” or “People don’t like me because I’m so ugly and annoying.”

In my experience working with youth over the years, I ask girls the question, “What do you say to yourself that is negative and makes you feel bad about yourself?” I hear responses, like those mentioned, which at first shocked me that they were so consistent across the board – girls of every shape and size, color of skin, socio-economic status, and social-clique had similar negative, self-defeating thoughts. I am not alone. You are not alone. Everyone struggles with feeling bad about themselves. It doesn’t have to be this way.

I CHALLENGE you to CHANGE the way you talk to yourself about yourself. Learn and practice using positive self-affirmations. Turn those negative thoughts into positive, self-affirming ones.

When “I am so fat” pops into your head, replace it with a positive-self affirmation, “I am the perfect size for me,”  “I am beautiful the way I am,”  “I am healthy, not perfect (even if you are working on being healthy – affirmations are always spoken in the present tense).”

In our society, people generally feel hesitant to say good things about themselves, not wanting to sound “conceited.”  It is helpful to note the difference between “bragging” and recognizing our strengths.  Bragging often includes putting one’s own image above others; saying that you are better than someone else. Being confident and feeling good about yourself is healthy and empowering.

Together let’s CHANGE THE DEFINITION OF BEAUTY!  Here are your CHALLENGES:

•    Look for the beauty in others. CHANGE the way you talk about OTHER WOMEN in your head.

•    CHANGE the way you talk about others out loud. Be uplifting whether talking about other people with a friend or giving someone a genuine compliment.

•    CHANGE the way you talk about YOU to YOU!  Recognize and acknowledge your strengths.  Believe that your body, no matter what shape and size, is beautiful.  “EveryBODY is Beautiful.”

For more information on getting involved in this cause or attending BRIDGES Camp for Girls, please visit www.bridgescamp.com.   

Remember the days when a chaste woman wore a white wedding gown and saved herself for the honeymoon? Me neither. Times are changing, and so are society’s views on sex. Just look at prime-time television.

Gone are the days when the big Dawson’s Creek episode was the one that kept everyone glued to the screen trying to guess whether it was Joey and Jack, Pacey and Andy, or Dawson and Jen who finally took their relationship to the next level (remember that one?). Instead, we’ve got Blair and Chuck’s one night stand in the back of a limo (definitely remember that one!).

Outside of the small screen, relationships in the real world are dwindling. “Dating” is becoming a thing of the past, and casual sex is flourishing. The value of the once-prestigious “first time” isn’t such a big deal for many of us as it was for our mothers, aunts, or even our older sisters. Hell, my first time was not the stuff that teen romances are made of, but I walked away without any permanent emotional scars and afterwards, since it was out of the way, I was able to make better choices regarding who I chose to sleep with.

And yet, I couldn’t help but be surprised when my younger cousin proudly announced that sex was one of her favorite activities (albeit with a steady boyfriend, but still). Just a few years age difference, and there’s still a difference in our mindsets.

Sure, there are still plenty of people out there who put a lot of pride into their virginity, and hold out for a long time. There are still plenty of cherries being popped in the honeymoon suite, after all. But our society’s views on sex can send out mixed signals. People who haven’t found “the one” by a certain age begin to feel alienated by their more-promiscuous peers. Nobody wants to be likened to the Forty-Year-Old Virgin, do they?

I don’t think it’s such a big deal. In fact, I think that once you’ve lost it, you can start to enjoy sex, be adventurous, and learn about your partner’s (and your own) body. Why wait for such a wonderfully erotic experience?

That said, I’d like to know: how many CollegeCandy readers out there expected rose petals and fireworks when they finally relinquished their v-card? Furthermore, how many of you just gave it up because you were curious? Whatever the less-than-fairy-tale way we may or may not have lost it, I’m willing to bet that hardly any of us walked away tarnished with a Scarlet Letter.

2. Talk to people and say things we would never have the balls to say in person (“You are being a bitch,” “I totally heart you.”)

3. We can procrastinate on everything in favor of the endless entertainment the inter-webs provide.

The sheer number of blogs and awesome websites out there is astounding…and nearly impossible to navigate. Which ones are good? Which ones are bad? Which ones will flash giant naked men on our screen? (Editor’s Note: Those are my favorite!) Which ones talk about all the stuff I want to hear?

That’s why we are here.

There are so many great college blogs out there and we want to share them with you. Because, after all, we college kids gotta stick together. So, here are a few of our favorites for today:

1. Absolut College Girl: She’s a college girl with something (actually, a lot of things) interesting to say.

2. Society and Style: Just reading about her daily life makes us tired…and slightly addicted.

3. The Student Body: Health and fitness tips for college students and college students only.

4. College Slackers: Just what it sounds like – the perfect place to go when you don’t want to do any work.

5. School is Hard: Because it is…and help is nice.

Got any other blogs you love? Let us know; we’are always looking for more!