My name is K, and I was in a sorority.

That is, I’m an alum. I still wear my butt-shorts to sleep at night and my Greek Week t-shirts to the gym. I have sorority jewelry, and my best friends are people I pledged with. I may or may not have my affiliation listed on my resume. And I am not ashamed.

What does irk the hell out of me, though, are the characters who, post-college, find it appropriate to judge me and still make the same assumptions that were made in college. Just a heads up, kids, but just like no one cares if you were cool in high school, no one could care any less whether you were cool in college. And by hating on me for being Greek, you’re definitely no cooler than the next a**hole.

Sure, I partied, but so did a large percentage of the independents (oh that’s right, there’s a label for them, too). Shocker, sorority girls aren’t always the drunk mess you expect them to be.

So let’s clarify a few things, shall we?

#1. No, I did not buy my friends. Surprise! I actually have other friends who aren’t Greek. Who cares where or how you meet people if they’re quality? I lucked out; my house was full of girls I clicked with, many of whom will probably be in my wedding. I could just as easily say you bought all your college friends because you paid tuition to attend a university with thousands of other people, right? You’re electing to join an institution where you will happen into people…. kind of makes you a hypocrite to call me out. I’m not picking people to hang out with based on whether or not they were in a frat or sorority in college, and if you are, you’re living a sad, sad life. Read More »

Not so long ago, in a fantasyland far, far away called College, I was your average little freshman, running around wide-eyed and ready to meet as many college boys as possible. And, because I went Greek, I pretty much had to find some unsuspecting (i.e., completely suspecting) frat boy to accompany me to winter semiformal.

Somehow, I found the one non-douchey frat boy ever to exist. He was perfect: tall, dark, and beautiful, with a 4.0, perfect teeth, a lot of cute friends, and – the kicker—a self-pact to not drink until he was 21. Which meant there would be no pre-game, just… game. And I had none, because he was that hot.

I’m not entirely sure why he said yes, and I’m not sure why I thought I was even cool enough to ask this guy out, but somehow the transaction occurred and there we were, sitting, soberly, talking for two hours while my friends drunkenly danced and ran around. Ever the gentleman, he took me to pseudo-dinner at 2:30 AM, got his leftovers wrapped and then drove me back to my dorm. And so it was time to say goodnight.

Ever the self-conscious one, I assumed that he wasn’t interested, but had put on a happy face so as not to crush my little freshman dreams. And just as I went to kiss him on the cheek, his mouth landed fully on mine. I was shocked. He hadn’t tried to make a move all night!

So clearly, the normal reaction is to kiss right back and linger a little longer, possibly suggest you get a tour of his house, etc. But no, rather than being caught up in the moment I said, “MUAH.”

Yes. That’s right. Right after he makes his move, the first thing that my body, which must hate me, does, is pucker right back up and say “MUAH.” Read More »

Nerds and Sorority girls. They go together like a John Hughes movie and the 80’s.

Which is probably why Washington State’s Linux Users Group (the university’s largest computer club) has decided put out a memo to all the sororities on campus: “Make us over, and we’ll do your homework.”

In an effort to attract more women to the computer science program (and get a free haircut), the “nerds” of WSU’s Linux Club plan to host a “nerd auction”.

“You can buy a nerd and he’ll fix your computer”, their website explains, “help you with stats homework, or if you’re really adventurous, take you to dinner!”

But before the computer loving dudes go through with the auction, they’re looking for a few good sorority girls to make them more appealing.

“If anyone’s going to bid on us, we’ll need some spicing up. And who better to help with that than sorority girls who like nothing better than a makeover?”

While the whole “Beauty and the Greek” (sound familiar to anyone?) event is still in the planning stages, WSU’s computer program has garnered national attention because of it.

Will the idea bring more chicks into the lives of these self-described nerds? Of course!

Will the girls stick around? No f*cking way. Read More »

Wow, so just when I thought the “sister’s for life!” saga was over, the Delta Zeta ladies fight back.

Let’s recap … After the sketchy “disposal” of all the members considered “overweight,” “socially awkward” or “ugly,” Depauw University decided to expel the sorority’s chapter. And who could blame them, those national women are bitches.

However, these Delta Zetas apparently won’t go quietly … or at all for that matter. They hardcore sued the university claiming that they did not evict the sisters because of appearance, etc. Yeah, ok, I totally believe that.

To top it all off, they’re “accusing DePauw of breaking contracts, defaming the sorority and interfering with its business relationships.” AND they want a public apology with return to the greek system. Quite the demanding crew.

What could be more exciting than ditching a semester of classes to live 3 months of your life shacked up with 7 strangers inside a fishbowl? You got me, but get this, MTV has recently announced that they will soon begin casting for the 20th season of the “Real World”- and according to TV crunch “this time around, the wanning music network is looking for more than just semen-slurping sorority girls.”

MTV says it is “searching for cast members with career and life goals that they want to pursue in a major metropolitan city.”

“Aspiring actors, models, dancers, filmmakers, musicians, athletes, artists, journalists, stylists, and fashion designers are particularly encouraged to apply, as well anyone else with interesting career goals and a passion to succeed.”

You might be saying to yourself, “well sign me up!” Well Here You Go.