So it’s Spring Break and I only have two words: hell yes. Here are the top 10 ways Greeks keep it, well, Greek on vacation.

1.     More flags than the Olympics – You all know what I’m talking about… Greeks are extremely territorial, and this doesn’t stop on Spring Break. Those giant, obnoxious flags you see out on the beach (but can barely make out in your drunken state) are a point of pride for the typical frat-star.

2. Throw what you know – Confused by sorority girls throwing mystery gang signs on the beach for a picture? Don’t be. Fear not, you precious little GDI – sorority girls across the country this week are going on Spring Break, and will undoubtedly scrunch together, pose in the “sorority squat” position, and throw up their sorority letters with their hands. Harmless, I promise.

3. When mixing pastel polos, Sperry’s and board shorts becomes acceptable – By definition? The ultimate frat-star… and grounds to make any sorority girl cringe. But unfortunately, you are still going to see it. A lot of it. It’s frat boy beach fashion at it’s finest, and it’s not going anywhere. Brace yourself.

4. When it’s never wrong to bong – No lattes this week, ladies. Everyone knows that one person on your Spring Break trip. The one who starts his/her morning with vodka Red Bull and ends it with his/her head in the toilet….at 1pm.

5. Frat-tat – We all wish it didn’t happen. In fact, we’d never imagine it in our wildest dreams. But when the swimsuits come out, you might have the privilege of spotting some major frat pride ink down some guy’s side, on his back, or (sadly) his ankle. Brothers for life, yo.

6. Overcast & sunglasses on the beach = hangover – Let’s just straighten something up right now: don’t ever make fun of a sorority girl in her Ray Bans. It doesn’t matter if it’s pitch black and thunder storming outside, she’s clearly hungover. Let it be.

7. When cramming 20+ people in a hot tub doesn’t seem gross – Greeks are one big, happy family. On Spring Break, we are going to take full advantage of this.

8. Shacking Spring Break style – Shacking on Spring Break is so much easier… no classes to wake up for the next morning, no embarrassing “shacker” chants as you attempt to escape out the front door, and the walk home is a hell of a lot more when you’ve got your toes in the sand.

9. Liquid diet – There really isn’t much to say about this. When it’s time to put on a bikini, it’s time to get skinny! It’s common knowledge that a lot of girls’ theory is as follows: “I want to go running because my legs look fat, but I can’t go running because my legs look too fat” See what I’m sayin’? It’s a tough life.

10. The ‘frat-lap’ becomes a ‘beach- lap’ – Frat boys are still setting up shop down in PCB, so no worries ladies. You can still go from frat to frat on break.

What is the funniest think YOU have seen Greeks do on Spring Break? What does YOUR sorority do for Spring Break?

No one’s perfect, not even the quintessential sorority girl. We all make mistakes, do dumb things, have regrets, and that’s only exacerbated when you’ve got an abundance of alcohol, estrogen and strong opinions. But which of those faux pas are forgotten by the time breakfast rolls around and which will forever ruin our reputations?

I reached out to our panel of sorority women to weigh in on that very question. They’ve been to a lot of events, parties and chapter meetings. They’ve seen it all, so they know what they’re talkin’ about. You new to a sorority? Thinking about joining? An older member with an exec board position? Listen up – we can all learn a little something from these ladies.

Colleen Burke: Kappa Alpha Theta, University Of Tulsa
At one point or another in college, everyone is bound to have a “bad night,” which usually results in your own mini-version of “The Hangover” the next morning (“I left my phone where?!….and why am I only wearing one shoe?!”). However, one of the biggest faux pas a girl can commit (Greek or non-Greek) is to earn the title of a repeat offender.

A repeat offender has one crazy weekend after another, “unbelievable” story after “unbelievable” story, most of which she thinks are “hilarious.” This, of course, is all from her perspective. Her friends, the ones left to clean up the mess from her drunken escapades, will tell a different story.

The hard truth is that you are only allotted so many “bad nights” before you do permanent damage to your reputation and you become “that girl.” Often this mistake is made by underclassman (namely the freshmen), who do not realize that the people who they continuously embarrass themselves in front of at the various parties, also happen to be members of the very clubs (student government, the campus newspaper, university tour guides, honor societies, etc) they may eventually want to join. And while a repeat offender may not remember them when she submits her application for review, you can bet that the president of abc or the secretary of xyz will remember all those “bad nights.”

Lisa: UCLA
Obviously, I could tell people not to act like a drunken fool, but that makes me look like a hypocrite goes without saying. I think the worst sorority faux pas is to get really personal and emotional in front of the chapter when you’re in a leadership position. A big part of Greek Life is the opportunity to lead and learn how to do so effectively. But effective leaders do not get catty, throw their friends under the bus, or act like a child when they don’t get their way. I can’t tell you how many of us lost respect for our president when she lost her cool at a chapter meeting. It changed the entire dynamic of our house, not to mention our personal relationships with her.

Megan: Chi Omega, Purdue University
When I was on Panhellenic last year, part of the perks during recruitment included getting to walk around to different chapters during the parties for all the rounds. But there was one thing in particular that was so awkward it made me cringe: when the rusher only smack-talked other chapters. SO awkward. I can see it on the poor little PNMs face: she just sits there and awkwardly smiles, nods… and remembers NOT to pref your chapter for the next round of recruitment. Tsk, tsk.

Kellyn: University of Michigan
Do NOT be the drunk girl who can barely even stand up, whose clothes are falling off, and who is spilling her drink on everyone.  Not only will everyone at the party be annoyed with you, but it also makes you and your sorority look really bad.  Just keep it classy so you never have to wake up by the toilet with a long list of awful Facebook pictures to untag.

Morgan: Mizzou
Don’t sleep with someone else’s boyfriend (or recent ex), whether that’s a girl in your chapter or a girl in some rival chapter. Look, we all know girls talk, and girls scorned talk a LOT. Do you really want the entire Greek community to think of you as some skanky boyfriend stealer? Yeah, not a good look on anyone.

Rachel Cerrone: Chi Omega, Indiana University
The worst thing that a girl in a house could do, in my opinion, is advertise herself as easy.  Once, when I was hanging out at a frat party, a VERY drunk sorority girl and a VERY drunk frat guy were in the middle of the dance floor, gyrating and kissing in ways that I never want to see again at a party.  It was so bad, the DJ cut the music and people had to escort them out, her skirt falling off and his shirt buttons ripped open. Ladies, please don’t act slutty at parties; guys don’t like it and people will remember you and your house for it. You always want to maintain a respectable reputation.

What do you think is the worst thing someone can do for their reputation? Sound off below. Maybe we can start a “don’t act a fool” revolution!

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Not that you needed that (brutal) reminder; the aisles at CVS said it all. If you were one of the lucky few of us (not me) that were whisked away on some romantic fairytale-like evening… well, good for you. But I don’t wanna hear about it.

Romantic holidays and birthdays are literally zero fun around the sorority house. When you’re single, it seems like everyone else (all 60 of them!) have serious significant others. And for some reason, they’re all Prince Charmings who bring the girls flower and chocolates and jewelry before taking them out to the fancy on-campus restaurants I only get to enjoy when my parents are in town.

Every year, like clockwork, I ask for all the juicy deets about what’s on their night’s agenda, but secretly I’m either a) vomiting inside or b) weeping green tears of jealously. And that combo ain’t pretty. Trust me.

Don’t get me wrong, obvi I’m happy for them, but seriously… Where the hell is my Prince Charming?! (Hell, I’ll even take Prince Not-A-Doucebag!)

Note: I live in West Lafayette, Indiana… need I say more? Jake Gyllenhaal wouldn’t dare take in a breath of this sewage-stricken air.  Bless him.

My point? Holidays like Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day or even President’s Day can be an opportunity for sisters to bond! Last week a sorority on my campus made Valentines together and delivered them to a nursing home; brownie points for them! That’s a sisterhood function, philanthropy, and they got to give back to the community. Sorority snaps on a budget, baby!

Another sorority purchased little tin hearts, filled them with holiday treats and delivered them to all the other sororities on campus, along with some of their favorite fraternities. That’s not only a fun sisterhood activity but, come on, it’s adorable! Not to mention a great bonding activity for me and the few other single girls in my house as we inhaled them while catching The Bachelor.

And if your house doesn’t officially plan activities or events around the holidays, that’s the best part about being in a sorority: there are plenty of people around to just hang with (even if it doesn’t feel that way when there’s a mass of boys huddled in the foyer waiting to pick up their dates). Plan a group dinner, take a mini-roadtrip, or do what you do every other night of the year: go and and get really, really drunk. There’s bound to be some single boys out there doing the exact same thing.

It’s a harsh reality: we can’t all spend the holiday (that we pretend like we don’t care about every year, but in all honesty we just want somebody to freaking send us flowers) with a significant other, but hey – Russell Stover, Ben & Jerry and your girls will hang out with you any night of the week, sister!

How did YOU and YOUR sisters spend Valentine’s Day? What has been YOUR best or worst Valentine’s Day experience?

I made a lot of mistakes my first year of college (and based on some of the Morning After stories I’ve been reading on here, I know I’m not alone). But of all the dumb things I did – hooking up with my next door neighbor during Welcome Week, setting my alarm wrong for my first midterm, gorging myself on Indian Night in the caf (ugh) – my biggest regret involves sorority rush.

Actually, my 2 biggest regrets:

1. Thinking my hair would stay straight as I walked from one house to the next in a monsoon. Hellooooo, frizzy mullet!
2. Trying to be who I thought the girls in the houses wanted me to be and totally losing myself in the process.

Granted, I ended up in a great house with girls who are now my best friends, but I look back at myself during rush and I just want to smack that girl. Hard. (And buy her a flat iron – my god!) I wouldn’t want that fake girl in my house and I totally get why lots of other girls didn’t want me in theirs. I’m just grateful that there was a chapter out there that was full of girls just like me so I could actually be myself and fit in perfectly.

I’ve learned a lot about myself and sorority life since that fateful month my Freshman year and I think now, when so many young ladies are in the throes of rush, is the perfect time for me and my panel of Panhellenic women to share what we now know with this new crop of sorority sistahs. So to all you PNMs shuffling from house to house right now, take our advice and not only will you make the most of your experience, but you won’t be looking back 2 years from now wishing you’d done something differently.

Lisa: UCLA
If I knew back then all that I know now, I would have gone to more activities. At the time, I was so annoyed about every. single. thing. we had to do that I’d just skip them out of principal, but now I realize that there was a method to that madness. Every sleepover, pledge night and activity we had was meant to bring our pledge class closer together and by not going, I definitely missed out on some major bonding time. And room points. Now I’m stuck in a closet.

Jess: Delta Phi Epsilon, University of Michigan
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have gotten blackout drunk at Big Sis/Little Sis night. Being carried out of the restaurant by my pledge class was not the best first impression to make on about 50% of the girls in my house. Even more, I don’t remember the night at all and according to the stories I hear about it ALL THE TIME, it was one of the best.

Megan: Chi Omega, Purdue
If you knew what I know now about sorority recruitment, you would forget about all the stupid stereotypes about every house that you’ll hear before recruitment even starts. You wouldn’t form an opinion BEFORE going into the process and you’d let your own experiences guide you. That’s the best and only way to know for sure that you will end up in the house that is the best fit for you. Be yourself

Megen C: University of Chicago:
If I knew then what I know now, I would take more time to get to know the sisters who were seniors.

Rachel Cerrone: Chi Omega, Indiana University
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have gotten so caught up in listening to campus gossip about houses during the rush process. Almost every single rumor girls had spread concerning Greek life were false, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that sororities are pretty drama-free.  You really have to experience it for yourself so you can discover the truth.

Kellyn: University of Michigan
If I knew then what I know now I would have relaxed more.  I went through the first month of so of my sorority like a deer in the headlights, worried if I would fit in with the rest of the girls or not. We were all selected to be in the house for probably similar reasons, so I should have just relaxed more and had fun meeting everyone.

Anyone else got some great wisdom to impart on these new girls? Something you wish you’d done differently? Share it below!

Holiday break? Officially over. Reality set it hard and fast for me last week when I had to return early to West Lafayette aka no-mans-land when classes aren’t in session for a leadership conference. Again, and admittingly with the most dramatic frame of mind as possible, I thought my life was over. But, I came out of this particular leadership opportunity feeling very motivated- yeah, yeah corny… give me a break. I learned techniques from other chapter presidents and also reflected on the techniques I most often use as a leader, too!

1. Accountability: Call ‘em out. Did a sister mess up? Let her know. I’m not saying bite her head off, but we are all adults here. And, let’s face it, sometimes as ridiculous as it may seem the women in our chapters are oblivious to their mistakes and the potential repercussions those mistakes have on the entire chapter.  Suck it up and deal with the seemingly awkward confrontation – it’s worth it.

2. Every leader has two ears and one mouth: So listen, then speak (and always in that order). Acquiring input from your members is an easy way to assess the chapter’s morale. BUT as a president or any leader you have to draw the line somewhere. You will receive continuous feedback and criticism (which can be good) but after making a decision, stick to your guns…

… which has taught me…

3. Consistency is key: Unlike a hot fashion trend, rules cannot come and go, nor can they change with the season. When leaders and exec boards are consistent, women in the chapter learn the norms and, with time, get used to it. Is it always easy? No. Does this take time? Of course.

4. Delegate: You aren’t superwoman, and attempting to do every minute task puts yourself under way more stress and pressure than you can afford – especially when it’s The Bachelor season and you need to dedicate some time to putting together your bracket. Use your executive and other leadership teams to their full potential – chances are they really do want to help.

5. Don’t sweat the small stuff: You will never (and believe me, I’ve tried) be able to control every move your chapter members make or prevent them from taking less than perfect actions that could get your chapter in trouble. Educating your members on why what they are doing could be detrimental to the chapter is my only advice. It can be eye opening.

One of the most influential leaders at my university told me this weekend that being a fraternity or sorority president is by far one the most trying leadership positions to hold as a college student – and if you hold that position or have held it previously then you are nodding your head right now. The sleepless nights, the networking opportunities, the anxiety, the drama, the fun, and the gut-wrenching decisions are all a package deal.

What are your secret leadership techniques? What is the greatest challenge you face as a sorority leader?

[Got a question for our sorority girl? Email her at submissions [at] collegecandy [dot] com. In the meantime, get the DL on Greek Life from the women who are living it right here.]

Like most things, the Internet is a haven for sorority girls. And I’m not talking about online shopping or Facebook stalking. Well, not totally. I mean, clearly my sisters and I are all huge fans (to the point of being broke and creepy) of those two lovely Internet pastimes.

What I’m referring to is a slew of sites and online resources that can help keep sororities organized and on track. Or in the loop. Or decked out in the latest, cutest chapter gear. Are you on your executive board? Want to save time, help your chapter and get even more accomplished on a weekly basis?  Well lookie here, I’ve got your back.

WebGreek:
Along with many other sites like ChapterSpot.com and ConnectedGreek.com, WebGreek assists chapters in staying organized. Once your chapter is all set up, this site can help you communicate with members more easily, schedule meetings and events, collect money and even poll girls in the chapter (on anything from “Who’s the douchiest douche in Sigma Nu?” to “What date works better for Spring Formal?”). Unlike the days of yore when you had to bang down girls’ doors or leave flyers up in the bathroom in hopes people would see them when they’re flat ironing their hair (or pooping….), WebGreek makes running the chapter so. much. easier.

They also offer really cute, really awesome, really EASY to create chapter websites that you can set up for your house! They have many a la carte options that are tailored for your chapter’s specific needs, and make it simple to get your house online. And in 2011 when everyone and their grandmother is surfing the web, a chapter website is a MUST. How else are those Potential New Members going to learn about you before Rush??

Oh, and FYI: you can live chat with a rep online and ask all the questions you want. How do I know? Because I was bored and lonely at home…. and I did it. Creep.

Facebook:
No, I am not about to tell you to post on your sister’s walls, chat with them, or poke them to stay in touch. Mostly because you should all be doing that….as we speak. There’s more to FB than all that and the best thing you can do for your chapter?

Create a group!

Our social chair did this just for our pledge class and it is SO cute and fun! It definitely brought all of us way closer because we could all be in contact all the time. Even better? Set the privacy settings to uber private, that way no one can participate in the group or even see that it exits unless invited by the admin. [Helpful hint: limit yourself to just 1 maybe 2 admins – anymore is overwhelming. You know how girls can get....] Having this group will allow your pledge class to post summaries of the out of control on-goings from the night before, keeping everyone updated AND only having to tell the story once! And since your settings are controlled, you don’t have to worry about tattletales or your National Office finding out.

But that’s not all you can do with FB groups. If you’d like to use Facebook for some PR opportunities, make your group not-so-private! Call it something like “UCF Tri- Delta Seniors,” make it open to everyone, and post all the great stuff you’re doing: philanthropy events, chapter achievements, etc., for all of campus to see!

MetroGreek.com
Spend 5 minutes in a sorority and you’ll rack up quite a collection of chapter-themed shirts/pants/keychains/flip flops/band-aids?! I swear, if I have to see one more sweatshirt with zebra print letters across the chest I’m gonna flip. my. sh*t. Before I discovered MetroGreek though, that was the only option I had. Even with the plethora of Greek apparel websites out there (and trust me, there are far too many), the stuff is always the same. And if I gotta wear this stuff all the time, I’d like it to at least be cute, right?

MetroGreek is where it’s at, yo. They have hundreds of adorable, trendy and unique designs that can be printed on tees, tanks, sweatshirts and more. So whether it’s a t-shirt for rush or a sweatshirt just because, you can show your chapter spirit in style. And really, that’s what it’s all about.

[Got a question for our sorority girl? Email her at submissions [at] collegecandy [dot] com. In the meantime, get the DL on Greek Life from the women who are living it right here.]

This week’s Greek Speak is powered by our pals at GreekGear.com. Whether you wanna stock up on new sweats for yourself or some new flippy floppies for your big sis, they’ve got all the latest and greatest Greek goodies. And right now you can get it all for 10% off by entering “Candy10″ at checkout!

Ahhh, finals are over… we can all take a sigh of relief, right? Wrong. For the last two years, going home over holiday breaks has been brutally bittersweet. My parentals are still in the middle of building a house that, in the mean time, leaves me roomless, bedless, and no-space-to-myselfless. I’ve literally been moved out of my chapter house for plus or minus 72 hours and I feel like my life may be coming to an end. I am not going to pretend like I am in the worst situation possible… I am in the worst situation possible.

The nightmare begins pretty much from the moment I pull onto the street where we temporary reside until the new house is finished. I look at the driveway- where the hell am I supposed to park? The garage is jam-packed full of our belongings, and the driveway is occupied. Looks like the snowy, unplowed street for me. Can you say VIP? At my chapter house I have my very own space in a parking lot just steps from the front door… not to mention our maintenance man plows the lot every morning before I even bother to wake up. Just sayin’…

I make it into the house and disaster number two strikes. Looking disheveled from carrying in my luggage because of course no one in my family offered to help me (note: a sorority sister would have helped in a heart beat), I quickly realize I have nowhere to store my stuff. I have a 15-year-old sister so surely there will be room in her closet right? Not a chance. Reality has set in: for the next three weeks, I will be living out of these suitcases. Every outfit, no matter how much Downy wrinkle releaser I use, will still be slightly wrinkly and smell faintly of musk. Attractive.

And it’s not like I can borrow clothes from anyone. While I have tons of closets to pick through while I’m living it up with my sorority sisters at school, at home I’ve got only my mom (read: mom jeans) and my sister (read: Justin Bieber t-shirts and leggings that look like flood pants on me).

It gets better…

Last night I was so hungry I think my sister could hear my stomach growling from her room (note: she has one, I don’t)… I asked my mom what was for dinner, and she replied, “turkey burgers.” Vom. Without panicking I peeled myself off the couch (where I had been basically all day) to search the fridge for anything but that excuse for a meal. Fail. Living without a chef is really starting to sink in- hard. What do you mean no 24/7 hot cocoa and snacks? No meals prepared for me? FML.

This is going to be rough.

Going home for a holiday break is great – don’t get me wrong. With it comes relief from class, exams, and anything academic. But sometimes, like right now as I watch my brother play yet another video game because he’s the only person around I can hang out with, I’m totally jonesing for my chapter house.

Feeling my pain? What do you miss about being away from your sorority over the holidays?

Get more Greek Life goodness right here.

This week’s Greek Speak is powered by our pals at GreekGear.com. Whether you wanna stock up on new sweats for yourself or get an adorable iPhone case for your big sis, they’ve got all the latest and greatest Greek goodies. They even have fraternity poker chips for the BF. And right now you can get it all for 10% off by entering “Candy10″ at checkout!

It’s finals week and snowing here in the Midwest; what a lovely combination. I can’t think of a better way to take a study break than to snuggle up by the fireplace with a few pledge sisters and talk about our upcoming winter formal… the reason why I return to school second semester every year… the highlight of January!

Woof.
Who am I kidding? Faking it is not something I’m great at so I won’t even try.

Winter break is days away and that means literally only one thing for a sorority girl (OK, besides presents): winter freaking formal. It’s what every sorority girl looks forward to, right? What she spends her winter break thinking about and shopping for. The sorority event. The night that every potential new member dreams about and counts down to. The stuff sorority life is made of.

I guess.
I’m not going to candy-coat it: I kind of hate this time of year, and since we’re supposed to be getting in the spirit of the Christmas, I guess you could call me the Grinch of Holiday Formals. Ugh.

It seems like every year I am riding the struggle bus to find a date to these things… and for what? To buy a $100 dress that I will wear for 3 hours tops, ruin as I spill a drink on it in the midst of avoiding awkward conversation with my blind date, and make wonderful memories that I will only remember thanks to my camera? Chaos.

But that’s not even the worst, most stressful part of all. That award goes to the semi-forced conversation between you and the house social chair.

“Sooo, have you found a date yet?” She asks, half excited to hear your answer and half excited to hear of your failure.
“Ohhh, no, I just can’t choose. So many options!” This is sorority girl in distress code for, “I haven’t asked anyone because I have ZERO prospects.” If you’re lucky, your guy friend from orientation (for whom you have NO romantic inklings, just a mutual love of drinking and dancing) will go with you. If you’re not so lucky, an older sister in the house sets you up with “the cutest guy ever!” and you spend your night forcing conversation while the rest of your house gets it on in dark corners around the venue. I’ve been there (see exact scenario above), and it will never happen again. Which means I still need to find someone to go with. Sigh.

And then there’s always the sorority girlss unrealistic expectations about their dates. Unless he has been your diehard boyfriend for plus or minus a year, don’t expect to be impressed. A formal is just another excuse for a guy to drink, like any other night of the year, only this time he’s wearing a tie. Sure, every so often a guy will come along and sweep you off your feet, but 9 times out of 10, that does not involve some grand romantic gesture but rather some drunken dance moves that land you both on your asses on the dance floor. These guys are not Prince Charming; they’re frat boys! And no he’s not (cringe) “the one.” I’m disappointed if you even pondered that thought.

So, what? Formals are a waste of time and money? We should all skip them, save the $100 and bottle of vodka we were gonna smuggle on the bus and just stay home? Hell to the no.

Yes, formal season can be stressful but it can also be a great time, the best night of the year, the kind of night that sorority life is made of. You just gotta know what to expect and roll with the punches (even if those punches may or may not include rubbing your date’s back while he pukes over the side of a river boat. Don’t ask.). My suggestions: take a friend to these formals and have fun. Don’t worry about impressing some guy you barely know (or have never previously met….) Make memories with your sisters because those memories are the ones you will want to replay in 10 years… not a sloppy make out with what’s-his-face. Then, when the night is over, post the pics on Facebook immediately so you can re-live the glory with the girls over (a very late and very hungover) breakfast the next morning afternoon.

What is the scene like at YOUR sorority before a formal? Have YOU taken a blind date to a date-function?

Get more Greek Life goodness right here.

This week’s Greek Speak is powered by our pals at GreekGear.com. Whether you wanna stock up on new sweats for yourself or get an adorable iPhone case for your big sis, they’ve got all the latest and greatest Greek goodies. They even have fraternity poker chips for the BF. And right now you can get it all for 10% off by entering “Candy10″ at checkout!

If you have been keeping up on your Greek Speak reading, then you know that last week I let it slip that sometimes there might possibly be teensy, weensy, little bitty cat fights between pledge classes. No big deal and nothing we can’t keep under control. BUT, I might have left out a somewhat important detail; a reason why these catfights happen….

Let’s face it. Sometimes you get a bid to a house and it’s just not a good fit. Hanging out at the house feels uncomfortable, you and your new pledge class just aren’t clicking, you realize Greek life isn’t for you. Bottom line: you hate it and you want out. NOW.

To put you in the stickiest situation, I am going to assume you are a pledge who is not been initiated but has paid your dues (because those often come during the pledge process, when you are part of the house but not officially IN it yet). You’re in an uncomfortable situation… SO uncomfortable you feel like you have drop out. Get over the fact that you’ve been brutally robbed of all the new member fees; those won’t be coming back to you so just forget it and move on. At this point, what you need to be thinking about is how to bow out gracefully, sans a drama-filled and unnecessary scene.

Before I get into that, though, know that girls ducking out before they are officially members of a sorority is not uncommon. There’s a lot you don’t know about being in a sorority until you are actually in one (not even GREEK can teach us everything), so many girls get a taste, realize it’s not for them and quit. It’s totally OK and if you do it right, not a big deal at all.

The trick is doing it right, so let me help you out.

Under any circumstances:

Do NOT go through the initiation process into a sorority unless your whole heart and soul is in it!
If you do, then you will never be eligible to go through recruitment or pledge another sorority, even if you deactivate from that one. You cannot be a member of one sorority, drop out and join another. Yes, that’s a rule and it’s one everyone takes very seriously.

If you’re feeling iffy about the whole thing during the pledge process, stop, reconsider and get out before it’s too late. Slipping out under the radar and without causing a fuss will allow you to rush again the next fall, or even in the spring, and pledge a sorority that fits you better.

Do NOT talk mad-smack about the sorority you dropped out of.
1) Contrary to popular belief, this will not win over the other ‘rival’ sororities on campus.
2) No one, not even stereotypically catty sorority girls, likes a gossip.
3) You have no idea if that “stupid, boring basement ritual” that you hated in your old house is quite similar to the traditions passed down in the new one.

You are already someone’s sloppy seconds (let’s be honest), so start fresh, no strings attached, and play nice. No matter if you’re a freshman rushing for the first time or a sophomore trying to find a better fit, you want to put your best foot forward. Plus, you never know who’s got friends in other houses….

DO try and get to know your pledge class a little better this time around.
Go to more functions, go to the house more often, and spend more time with your big sis/pledge mom. Obvi you are not going to click with every single girl in your new chapter, but you have to try. Be open-minded. As cheesy as it sounds, the more you put into sorority life the more you get out of it.

Making the decision to drop out of a sorority can be tough. My advice? Be honest with yourself and with your pledge class. If you’re not feeling it, then get out before it’s too late. No one expects you to devote your college experience to something that doesn’t fulfill you the way to hoped it would and, trust me, your pledge sisters would rather you duck out then half-ass your time there (because it will have an affect on their experiences too). Just make sure you do it right so this decision doesn’t negatively affect the rest of your time at college!

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Not all stereotypes about sororities are true. We don’t have naked pillow fights in the living room. We don’t all want to date the captain of the football team. We don’t have insane rivalries with other sororities. But here’s a stereotype about sororities I can’t even try to hide: pledge class rivalries. EVERY house has them, and if you are reading this now and thinking to yourself that your sorority doesn’t, you’re lying. Let’s be real, K? K.

So what do you new members and potential sorority sisters have to look forward to? I’m gonna give you a little heads up. Now when the older sisters give you the stink eye as you dance on a table at your annual end-of-finals mixer, you’ll know what to expect. And not to take it too personally.

Just wait, you’ll get you’ll get your turn…
I’ve seen it every year, even as a freshman. The youngest pledge class tries to take over the chapter. It’s just not. gonna. happen. Every pledge class will get their chance to ‘rule’ the house, but that will definitely not come until you are a senior. Get over it. Respect it. Up until the year you earn seniority, you will have to work your butt off gain admiration from the other women in the house. Is it true that we are all sisters and (for the most part) love each other like blood? Duh. But, it is also true that there is a “respect your elders” aspect in almost every house. It’s just how it goes and you’ll see that pretty quickly. Them’s the breaks.

But, don’t hate them for no reason…
The freshmen are always awful, right? They don’t do anything, right? They are always breaking all the rules. They go embarrassingly wild at the frats and damage the chapter’s rep beyond belief… WRONG. Okay, occasionally we all get an “off” pledge class or a few “off” members here and there, but most of the time there is no sane reason to punish new members just for being new members. That’s called hazing, people, and let’s steer very, VERY clear of that. If we “hate on” the new members for no reason, we start a pattern that forms a tradition, and they will do it to the new members when they are older. Unnecessary.

But when duty calls…
Controversial? Yes. But there is a need for this little hierarchy I’m calling pledge class rivalries. And let’s not forget: seniors are always on top no matter how unfair it seems. Trust me, there will be a time when you will understand. They’ve been in the house for the longest, which means that they know best. SO, when they call an all-house meeting at 1am to discuss their new theory on how to get your house back “on top”… just go. And at the end of that meeting when they want to have an all-house group hug or tell stories that seem endless from when they were “your age”… just spread your arms and hug it out.

Look, rivalries between pledges classes do have the capacity to divide a house, but only if you let them. If you know what to expect and go with the flow, they can also bring members (especially within pledge classes) together.

How have pledge class rivalries affected your house? Your experience with Greek Life? Let’s talk it out.

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