As a member of a Greek organization, I’ve encountered various stereotypes about Greek Life since I first went through recruitment (also known as rush). These range from the understandable to the completely absurd, and I’ll get to those later. What really irks me is that many of these stereotypes are started and perpetuated by things such as the media or one person’s experience, things that can be radically different from what going Greek is really about. In my opinion, this fact can lead members of Greek life to subconsciously embody these stereotypes, simply because it seems like that’s what sorority and fraternity life is supposed to be.

House parties, mixers, hazing, drinking, sex…what seems to be forgotten are the positive facts about going Greek, and there are many. A whole article could be dedicated to someone’s opinion on why going Greek is amazing, but I’m not here to write specifically about that. What I am here to write about are the most common stereotypes that apply to sororities in particular and why these stereotypes are not always truth. (It’s also worth mentioning that  stereotypes can vary from campus-to-campus and person-to-person, depending on individual experiences.)

Also, I am by no means saying that being in a sorority makes for a better college experience. It’s a personal choice and really depends on the person. Sororities aren’t for everyone after all. With that said, let’s jump into it!

Stereotype #1: Joining a sorority means paying for friends.

This is the most common stereotype I hear. So where to start…how about with dues or membership fees? As with any organization, funds are required to keep a sorority up and running. Each sorority has a national executive office to whom we pay our dues. A breakdown of these payments would most commonly show housing payments (if the organization has one on campus) and membership payments, which cover chapter operations such as philanthropy events and sisterhood activities (rituals, etc.).

What dues do not cover is friendship. I know it seems that sorority girls become best friends right away, what with the cheers, t-shirts, etc. after rush.  I feel like this is due to the overall excitement that comes with joining. The new members are excited to join, and the older members are excited (and I mean excited) to have new sisters. We like to express that! Of course, you won’t automatically be best friends with everyone, but overall, you get out what you put into a sorority. If you never go to any events or make an effort to make friends, than you won’t have as many. Simple as that. In most cases, the friends you meet in a sorority are ultimately more valuable than any price you could pay.

Stereotype #2: Sorority girls are dumb/don’t care about class and doing well in school.

I’d say this one comes almost directly from the media (hello, Legally Blonde.) Girls in sororities are depicted as dumb bimbos who somehow scrape by to get a degree. It makes for a good movie, but in reality, there are often academic requirements that come with being part of a sorority. At many schools, you need a certain GPA in order to even sign up for rush. Once in a sorority, you must maintain a certain GPA (which varies between sororities), often higher than the one used for rush, or else you may lose certain privileges. Another common occurrence is the use of study hours. Based on your GPA at the beginning of the semester, you need to complete a certain number of study hours.

In my experience, these demands are just extra motivation to do well in school and not screw up, and many girls go above and beyond the minimum GPA requirement. Additionally, the all-sorority GPA on a campus is often equal to or higher than the overall collegiate GPA, and this fact is listed on many schools’ Greek life websites. Many famous politicians, authors, entrepreneurs and the like were a part of Greek Life in college, and hey — even Elle Woods got into Harvard Law!

Stereotype #3: Sorority girls party/sleep around excessively.

Ah, the media strikes again. I don’t think the average sorority girl parties more than any other college student. After all, they do have the same or similar academic commitments. I suppose it seems that sorority members party more based on the fact that there are often events such as Greek Week, in which there are mixers almost every day, and then date parties, formals, etc. These don’t happen every weekend though, and sorority life is composed of so much more than partying and mixers. The fact that events such as Greek Week are often advertised and talked about for weeks beforehand probably adds to the “party all the time” cliché, as well as the general publicity, for lack of a better word, that comes with wearing letters. For example, if someone sees you in class in your letters, and then sees you wasted at a party, your sorority will probably be one of the first things they remember about you.

As for the sleeping around…why sororities in particular? As we all know, college campuses can often be hotbeds of sexual activity for Greeks and non-Greeks alike. Again, I think this is a result of the “publicity” of Greek events, in which sororities and fraternities often mix. Combined with the sex-crazed frat bro stereotype, it only seems logical that all girls in Greek life fulfill the “sorostitute” role, right? Wrong. Like anyone else, sorority girls are capable of long-term relationships and restraint when it comes to sex. This is a matter of not letting a few select people affect how you view the much larger group they are a part of.

Stereotype #4: You can only be accepted into a sorority if you’re “pretty” or “hot.”

Contrary to popular belief, not all sorority girls are Lilly Pulitzer-clad Stepford wives. Of course, there are always going to be shallow girls who take away the true meaning of sisterhood and base it on superficial things, most often looks, and that to me is sad. However, what I hope someone reading this realizes is that it’s not the letters or the stereotypes about who is hottest that define a sorority; it’s the group of girls in it. Many girls going through rush will realize this and choose a sorority based on how they felt when meeting its sisters. Look past the letters, the shirts, and the stereotypes and you’ll see a diverse group of girls in all shapes, sizes, colors etc. (I’m talking on a large scale, not just one campus.) It might not be a Benetton ad, but it’s certainly not a Barbie dream house, either. Get to know some of us before assuming anything; you might be surprised!

Stereotype #5: Hazing

This, to me, is the most difficult stereotype to address. I am not a part of every sorority at every school, so I don’t know what actually goes on. I myself was never hazed, and I don’t feel the need to say that to protect my sorority or something, since I’m not affiliating myself with one in this article. We’ve all seen the articles and news stories about someone dying or a Greek organization getting kicked off campus because of hazing. But these stories do not represent Greek Life as a whole. Not every Greek organization hazes. And whether you are the one hazing or the one being hazed you can still get in trouble if you do not report the incident. It’s a simple matter of being a bystander.

Hazing distorts the true meaning of being a part of a sisterhood. If you have to do something unpleasant to become a member, then you don’t even want to be a part of that in the first place. It’s hard to stand up against your friends and organization if they support hazing, but it is the right thing to do and it is possible.

There is a saying amongst us sorority girls: “From the outside, you can never understand it. From the inside, you can never explain it.” I’ve tried my best to address and explain some stereotypes about sororities and hopefully changed some people’s minds about Greek Life.  My Greek Life experience has been amazing, and I hope that more girls out there will consider going Greek. After all, you never know until you try!

Isabel is a breaker of stereotypes and a hero to sorority women everywhere. When not creating ridiculously grandiose visions of herself, she studies English at the University of Delaware and enjoys spending time with her sorority sisters.

No one’s perfect, not even the quintessential sorority girl. We all make mistakes, do dumb things, have regrets, and that’s only exacerbated when you’ve got an abundance of alcohol, estrogen and strong opinions. But which of those faux pas are forgotten by the time breakfast rolls around and which will forever ruin our reputations?

I reached out to our panel of sorority women to weigh in on that very question. They’ve been to a lot of events, parties and chapter meetings. They’ve seen it all, so they know what they’re talkin’ about. You new to a sorority? Thinking about joining? An older member with an exec board position? Listen up – we can all learn a little something from these ladies.

Colleen Burke: Kappa Alpha Theta, University Of Tulsa
At one point or another in college, everyone is bound to have a “bad night,” which usually results in your own mini-version of “The Hangover” the next morning (“I left my phone where?!….and why am I only wearing one shoe?!”). However, one of the biggest faux pas a girl can commit (Greek or non-Greek) is to earn the title of a repeat offender.

A repeat offender has one crazy weekend after another, “unbelievable” story after “unbelievable” story, most of which she thinks are “hilarious.” This, of course, is all from her perspective. Her friends, the ones left to clean up the mess from her drunken escapades, will tell a different story.

The hard truth is that you are only allotted so many “bad nights” before you do permanent damage to your reputation and you become “that girl.” Often this mistake is made by underclassman (namely the freshmen), who do not realize that the people who they continuously embarrass themselves in front of at the various parties, also happen to be members of the very clubs (student government, the campus newspaper, university tour guides, honor societies, etc) they may eventually want to join. And while a repeat offender may not remember them when she submits her application for review, you can bet that the president of abc or the secretary of xyz will remember all those “bad nights.”

Lisa: UCLA
Obviously, I could tell people not to act like a drunken fool, but that makes me look like a hypocrite goes without saying. I think the worst sorority faux pas is to get really personal and emotional in front of the chapter when you’re in a leadership position. A big part of Greek Life is the opportunity to lead and learn how to do so effectively. But effective leaders do not get catty, throw their friends under the bus, or act like a child when they don’t get their way. I can’t tell you how many of us lost respect for our president when she lost her cool at a chapter meeting. It changed the entire dynamic of our house, not to mention our personal relationships with her.

Megan: Chi Omega, Purdue University
When I was on Panhellenic last year, part of the perks during recruitment included getting to walk around to different chapters during the parties for all the rounds. But there was one thing in particular that was so awkward it made me cringe: when the rusher only smack-talked other chapters. SO awkward. I can see it on the poor little PNMs face: she just sits there and awkwardly smiles, nods… and remembers NOT to pref your chapter for the next round of recruitment. Tsk, tsk.

Kellyn: University of Michigan
Do NOT be the drunk girl who can barely even stand up, whose clothes are falling off, and who is spilling her drink on everyone.  Not only will everyone at the party be annoyed with you, but it also makes you and your sorority look really bad.  Just keep it classy so you never have to wake up by the toilet with a long list of awful Facebook pictures to untag.

Morgan: Mizzou
Don’t sleep with someone else’s boyfriend (or recent ex), whether that’s a girl in your chapter or a girl in some rival chapter. Look, we all know girls talk, and girls scorned talk a LOT. Do you really want the entire Greek community to think of you as some skanky boyfriend stealer? Yeah, not a good look on anyone.

Rachel Cerrone: Chi Omega, Indiana University
The worst thing that a girl in a house could do, in my opinion, is advertise herself as easy.  Once, when I was hanging out at a frat party, a VERY drunk sorority girl and a VERY drunk frat guy were in the middle of the dance floor, gyrating and kissing in ways that I never want to see again at a party.  It was so bad, the DJ cut the music and people had to escort them out, her skirt falling off and his shirt buttons ripped open. Ladies, please don’t act slutty at parties; guys don’t like it and people will remember you and your house for it. You always want to maintain a respectable reputation.

What do you think is the worst thing someone can do for their reputation? Sound off below. Maybe we can start a “don’t act a fool” revolution!

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Not that you needed that (brutal) reminder; the aisles at CVS said it all. If you were one of the lucky few of us (not me) that were whisked away on some romantic fairytale-like evening… well, good for you. But I don’t wanna hear about it.

Romantic holidays and birthdays are literally zero fun around the sorority house. When you’re single, it seems like everyone else (all 60 of them!) have serious significant others. And for some reason, they’re all Prince Charmings who bring the girls flower and chocolates and jewelry before taking them out to the fancy on-campus restaurants I only get to enjoy when my parents are in town.

Every year, like clockwork, I ask for all the juicy deets about what’s on their night’s agenda, but secretly I’m either a) vomiting inside or b) weeping green tears of jealously. And that combo ain’t pretty. Trust me.

Don’t get me wrong, obvi I’m happy for them, but seriously… Where the hell is my Prince Charming?! (Hell, I’ll even take Prince Not-A-Doucebag!)

Note: I live in West Lafayette, Indiana… need I say more? Jake Gyllenhaal wouldn’t dare take in a breath of this sewage-stricken air.  Bless him.

My point? Holidays like Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day or even President’s Day can be an opportunity for sisters to bond! Last week a sorority on my campus made Valentines together and delivered them to a nursing home; brownie points for them! That’s a sisterhood function, philanthropy, and they got to give back to the community. Sorority snaps on a budget, baby!

Another sorority purchased little tin hearts, filled them with holiday treats and delivered them to all the other sororities on campus, along with some of their favorite fraternities. That’s not only a fun sisterhood activity but, come on, it’s adorable! Not to mention a great bonding activity for me and the few other single girls in my house as we inhaled them while catching The Bachelor.

And if your house doesn’t officially plan activities or events around the holidays, that’s the best part about being in a sorority: there are plenty of people around to just hang with (even if it doesn’t feel that way when there’s a mass of boys huddled in the foyer waiting to pick up their dates). Plan a group dinner, take a mini-roadtrip, or do what you do every other night of the year: go and and get really, really drunk. There’s bound to be some single boys out there doing the exact same thing.

It’s a harsh reality: we can’t all spend the holiday (that we pretend like we don’t care about every year, but in all honesty we just want somebody to freaking send us flowers) with a significant other, but hey – Russell Stover, Ben & Jerry and your girls will hang out with you any night of the week, sister!

How did YOU and YOUR sisters spend Valentine’s Day? What has been YOUR best or worst Valentine’s Day experience?

I made a lot of mistakes my first year of college (and based on some of the Morning After stories I’ve been reading on here, I know I’m not alone). But of all the dumb things I did – hooking up with my next door neighbor during Welcome Week, setting my alarm wrong for my first midterm, gorging myself on Indian Night in the caf (ugh) – my biggest regret involves sorority rush.

Actually, my 2 biggest regrets:

1. Thinking my hair would stay straight as I walked from one house to the next in a monsoon. Hellooooo, frizzy mullet!
2. Trying to be who I thought the girls in the houses wanted me to be and totally losing myself in the process.

Granted, I ended up in a great house with girls who are now my best friends, but I look back at myself during rush and I just want to smack that girl. Hard. (And buy her a flat iron – my god!) I wouldn’t want that fake girl in my house and I totally get why lots of other girls didn’t want me in theirs. I’m just grateful that there was a chapter out there that was full of girls just like me so I could actually be myself and fit in perfectly.

I’ve learned a lot about myself and sorority life since that fateful month my Freshman year and I think now, when so many young ladies are in the throes of rush, is the perfect time for me and my panel of Panhellenic women to share what we now know with this new crop of sorority sistahs. So to all you PNMs shuffling from house to house right now, take our advice and not only will you make the most of your experience, but you won’t be looking back 2 years from now wishing you’d done something differently.

Lisa: UCLA
If I knew back then all that I know now, I would have gone to more activities. At the time, I was so annoyed about every. single. thing. we had to do that I’d just skip them out of principal, but now I realize that there was a method to that madness. Every sleepover, pledge night and activity we had was meant to bring our pledge class closer together and by not going, I definitely missed out on some major bonding time. And room points. Now I’m stuck in a closet.

Jess: Delta Phi Epsilon, University of Michigan
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have gotten blackout drunk at Big Sis/Little Sis night. Being carried out of the restaurant by my pledge class was not the best first impression to make on about 50% of the girls in my house. Even more, I don’t remember the night at all and according to the stories I hear about it ALL THE TIME, it was one of the best.

Megan: Chi Omega, Purdue
If you knew what I know now about sorority recruitment, you would forget about all the stupid stereotypes about every house that you’ll hear before recruitment even starts. You wouldn’t form an opinion BEFORE going into the process and you’d let your own experiences guide you. That’s the best and only way to know for sure that you will end up in the house that is the best fit for you. Be yourself

Megen C: University of Chicago:
If I knew then what I know now, I would take more time to get to know the sisters who were seniors.

Rachel Cerrone: Chi Omega, Indiana University
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have gotten so caught up in listening to campus gossip about houses during the rush process. Almost every single rumor girls had spread concerning Greek life were false, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that sororities are pretty drama-free.  You really have to experience it for yourself so you can discover the truth.

Kellyn: University of Michigan
If I knew then what I know now I would have relaxed more.  I went through the first month of so of my sorority like a deer in the headlights, worried if I would fit in with the rest of the girls or not. We were all selected to be in the house for probably similar reasons, so I should have just relaxed more and had fun meeting everyone.

Anyone else got some great wisdom to impart on these new girls? Something you wish you’d done differently? Share it below!

Like most things, the Internet is a haven for sorority girls. And I’m not talking about online shopping or Facebook stalking. Well, not totally. I mean, clearly my sisters and I are all huge fans (to the point of being broke and creepy) of those two lovely Internet pastimes.

What I’m referring to is a slew of sites and online resources that can help keep sororities organized and on track. Or in the loop. Or decked out in the latest, cutest chapter gear. Are you on your executive board? Want to save time, help your chapter and get even more accomplished on a weekly basis?  Well lookie here, I’ve got your back.

WebGreek:
Along with many other sites like ChapterSpot.com and ConnectedGreek.com, WebGreek assists chapters in staying organized. Once your chapter is all set up, this site can help you communicate with members more easily, schedule meetings and events, collect money and even poll girls in the chapter (on anything from “Who’s the douchiest douche in Sigma Nu?” to “What date works better for Spring Formal?”). Unlike the days of yore when you had to bang down girls’ doors or leave flyers up in the bathroom in hopes people would see them when they’re flat ironing their hair (or pooping….), WebGreek makes running the chapter so. much. easier.

They also offer really cute, really awesome, really EASY to create chapter websites that you can set up for your house! They have many a la carte options that are tailored for your chapter’s specific needs, and make it simple to get your house online. And in 2011 when everyone and their grandmother is surfing the web, a chapter website is a MUST. How else are those Potential New Members going to learn about you before Rush??

Oh, and FYI: you can live chat with a rep online and ask all the questions you want. How do I know? Because I was bored and lonely at home…. and I did it. Creep.

Facebook:
No, I am not about to tell you to post on your sister’s walls, chat with them, or poke them to stay in touch. Mostly because you should all be doing that….as we speak. There’s more to FB than all that and the best thing you can do for your chapter?

Create a group!

Our social chair did this just for our pledge class and it is SO cute and fun! It definitely brought all of us way closer because we could all be in contact all the time. Even better? Set the privacy settings to uber private, that way no one can participate in the group or even see that it exits unless invited by the admin. [Helpful hint: limit yourself to just 1 maybe 2 admins – anymore is overwhelming. You know how girls can get....] Having this group will allow your pledge class to post summaries of the out of control on-goings from the night before, keeping everyone updated AND only having to tell the story once! And since your settings are controlled, you don’t have to worry about tattletales or your National Office finding out.

But that’s not all you can do with FB groups. If you’d like to use Facebook for some PR opportunities, make your group not-so-private! Call it something like “UCF Tri- Delta Seniors,” make it open to everyone, and post all the great stuff you’re doing: philanthropy events, chapter achievements, etc., for all of campus to see!

MetroGreek.com
Spend 5 minutes in a sorority and you’ll rack up quite a collection of chapter-themed shirts/pants/keychains/flip flops/band-aids?! I swear, if I have to see one more sweatshirt with zebra print letters across the chest I’m gonna flip. my. sh*t. Before I discovered MetroGreek though, that was the only option I had. Even with the plethora of Greek apparel websites out there (and trust me, there are far too many), the stuff is always the same. And if I gotta wear this stuff all the time, I’d like it to at least be cute, right?

MetroGreek is where it’s at, yo. They have hundreds of adorable, trendy and unique designs that can be printed on tees, tanks, sweatshirts and more. So whether it’s a t-shirt for rush or a sweatshirt just because, you can show your chapter spirit in style. And really, that’s what it’s all about.

[Got a question for our sorority girl? Email her at submissions [at] collegecandy [dot] com. In the meantime, get the DL on Greek Life from the women who are living it right here.]

Back in the day when I was a wee freshman just starting the rush process, I was scared. Scared of talking to all those older girls, scared of rowdy fraternity boys throwing water balloons at me as I walked from house to house (wet, frizzy hair? OH THE HORROR), scared of not even getting into a house….

Most of all though, I was scared of what being in a sorority would do to the rest of my life. I had watched many older friends go through the whole sorority process and I knew about all the activities, meetings, date parties, social events, etc. that come with it. Would I be able to handle it all? Would my GPA?

I think a lot of people (like my parents) have the same concern: is it possible to juggle everything successfully? The answer: YES. It may not be easy, but it doesn’t take long to figure out a way to balance out friends and exams, roommates and papers, tailgates and gym dates, and this week our panel of sorority sisters is going to share their secrets for making it all happen. (Here’s a hint: it starts with “plan” and ends with “ner.”)

Gabby: Phi Theta Chi, Winona State University
A PLANNER. A daily planner with lots of space given for each day.  If you, as a college woman on her way to career-hood, do not have one yet – you are severely behind the success curve. I swear by my planner and it’s my personal belief that you can’t be successful without one, let alone be successful juggling classes, sorority meetings, events, boys, and the rest of your social life.

Rachel: Chi Omega, Indiana University
If you really love what you’re involved in, it’s easy to balance your time.  Outside of Chi Omega, I am director of an a cappella group, a reporter for the school newspaper, a critic for an online music blog, and I’ve never gotten lower than an A- in any of my classes (so far… knock on wood!).  I thrive on being so involved and love making the campus smaller for myself, and I also have a great time with all the friends I’ve met through my activities.

Lisa: UCLA
Weird but true, my grades have gotten infinitely better since I’ve taken on all the responsibilities that come with being in a sorority. I guess now that I’m always so busy, I have no choice but to majorly plan out my life and stick to a schedule. The best advice I can give is to hold yourself accountable for everything and make sure to put yourself in a position to get it done. And I do mean position. I learned quickly that I can’t write papers in my house (I live in a quad, yo), so I tend to go to class, make a plan of what needs to be done before I can get home and stay out on campus to do it. I tend to save loads of time (that would have otherwise been spent procrastinating or being totally distracted) and when I come home, I have nothing to keep me from everything else I need to do…like watching Teen Mom with my roommates.

Ariana: Gamma Phi Beta, Penn State University
For me, the best way to stay organized is my calendar. I keep everything – and I mean everything – that I need to do/want to do listed in my day planner, and keep everything color-coordinated at that. If you stay organized, go through to-do lists, and always make sure you have time for a quick nap or meal when you need it, it’s not hard to balance being involved in your chapter and other campus activities, while still staying up on your grades!!

Kit: Alpha Chi Omega, Ohio State University
The only way to balance everything is to plan ahead. This year I finally committed to keeping an up-to-date planner, and it’s by far the easiest way to stay on track. You’ll never miss a important event for your sorority or forget when your next paper is due, and it lets you know what days are free to plan time with friends you don’t always get to see.

Megan Watson, Purdue: Chi Omega
Being in a sorority, especially on exec, takes up a lot of time. Be sure to map out everything you have to get done for the week. Prioritize. You’ll have to decide what the most important tasks are and go from there! For me? Sorority president duties, then academics… THEN I get to be a normal college student and be social. Sad, but true.

[Got a question for these women? Send it on over to submissions [at] collegecandy [dot] com. In the meantime, get the DL on Greek Life from the women who are living it right here.]

This week’s Greek Speak is powered by our pals at GreekGear.com. Whether you wanna stock up on new sweats for yourself or some new flippy floppies for your big sis, they’ve got all the latest and greatest Greek goodies. And right now you can get it all for 10% off by entering “Candy10″ at checkout!

Ahhh, finals are over… we can all take a sigh of relief, right? Wrong. For the last two years, going home over holiday breaks has been brutally bittersweet. My parentals are still in the middle of building a house that, in the mean time, leaves me roomless, bedless, and no-space-to-myselfless. I’ve literally been moved out of my chapter house for plus or minus 72 hours and I feel like my life may be coming to an end. I am not going to pretend like I am in the worst situation possible… I am in the worst situation possible.

The nightmare begins pretty much from the moment I pull onto the street where we temporary reside until the new house is finished. I look at the driveway- where the hell am I supposed to park? The garage is jam-packed full of our belongings, and the driveway is occupied. Looks like the snowy, unplowed street for me. Can you say VIP? At my chapter house I have my very own space in a parking lot just steps from the front door… not to mention our maintenance man plows the lot every morning before I even bother to wake up. Just sayin’…

I make it into the house and disaster number two strikes. Looking disheveled from carrying in my luggage because of course no one in my family offered to help me (note: a sorority sister would have helped in a heart beat), I quickly realize I have nowhere to store my stuff. I have a 15-year-old sister so surely there will be room in her closet right? Not a chance. Reality has set in: for the next three weeks, I will be living out of these suitcases. Every outfit, no matter how much Downy wrinkle releaser I use, will still be slightly wrinkly and smell faintly of musk. Attractive.

And it’s not like I can borrow clothes from anyone. While I have tons of closets to pick through while I’m living it up with my sorority sisters at school, at home I’ve got only my mom (read: mom jeans) and my sister (read: Justin Bieber t-shirts and leggings that look like flood pants on me).

It gets better…

Last night I was so hungry I think my sister could hear my stomach growling from her room (note: she has one, I don’t)… I asked my mom what was for dinner, and she replied, “turkey burgers.” Vom. Without panicking I peeled myself off the couch (where I had been basically all day) to search the fridge for anything but that excuse for a meal. Fail. Living without a chef is really starting to sink in- hard. What do you mean no 24/7 hot cocoa and snacks? No meals prepared for me? FML.

This is going to be rough.

Going home for a holiday break is great – don’t get me wrong. With it comes relief from class, exams, and anything academic. But sometimes, like right now as I watch my brother play yet another video game because he’s the only person around I can hang out with, I’m totally jonesing for my chapter house.

Feeling my pain? What do you miss about being away from your sorority over the holidays?

Get more Greek Life goodness right here.

This week’s Greek Speak is powered by our pals at GreekGear.com. Whether you wanna stock up on new sweats for yourself or get an adorable iPhone case for your big sis, they’ve got all the latest and greatest Greek goodies. They even have fraternity poker chips for the BF. And right now you can get it all for 10% off by entering “Candy10″ at checkout!

It’s finals week and snowing here in the Midwest; what a lovely combination. I can’t think of a better way to take a study break than to snuggle up by the fireplace with a few pledge sisters and talk about our upcoming winter formal… the reason why I return to school second semester every year… the highlight of January!

Woof.
Who am I kidding? Faking it is not something I’m great at so I won’t even try.

Winter break is days away and that means literally only one thing for a sorority girl (OK, besides presents): winter freaking formal. It’s what every sorority girl looks forward to, right? What she spends her winter break thinking about and shopping for. The sorority event. The night that every potential new member dreams about and counts down to. The stuff sorority life is made of.

I guess.
I’m not going to candy-coat it: I kind of hate this time of year, and since we’re supposed to be getting in the spirit of the Christmas, I guess you could call me the Grinch of Holiday Formals. Ugh.

It seems like every year I am riding the struggle bus to find a date to these things… and for what? To buy a $100 dress that I will wear for 3 hours tops, ruin as I spill a drink on it in the midst of avoiding awkward conversation with my blind date, and make wonderful memories that I will only remember thanks to my camera? Chaos.

But that’s not even the worst, most stressful part of all. That award goes to the semi-forced conversation between you and the house social chair.

“Sooo, have you found a date yet?” She asks, half excited to hear your answer and half excited to hear of your failure.
“Ohhh, no, I just can’t choose. So many options!” This is sorority girl in distress code for, “I haven’t asked anyone because I have ZERO prospects.” If you’re lucky, your guy friend from orientation (for whom you have NO romantic inklings, just a mutual love of drinking and dancing) will go with you. If you’re not so lucky, an older sister in the house sets you up with “the cutest guy ever!” and you spend your night forcing conversation while the rest of your house gets it on in dark corners around the venue. I’ve been there (see exact scenario above), and it will never happen again. Which means I still need to find someone to go with. Sigh.

And then there’s always the sorority girlss unrealistic expectations about their dates. Unless he has been your diehard boyfriend for plus or minus a year, don’t expect to be impressed. A formal is just another excuse for a guy to drink, like any other night of the year, only this time he’s wearing a tie. Sure, every so often a guy will come along and sweep you off your feet, but 9 times out of 10, that does not involve some grand romantic gesture but rather some drunken dance moves that land you both on your asses on the dance floor. These guys are not Prince Charming; they’re frat boys! And no he’s not (cringe) “the one.” I’m disappointed if you even pondered that thought.

So, what? Formals are a waste of time and money? We should all skip them, save the $100 and bottle of vodka we were gonna smuggle on the bus and just stay home? Hell to the no.

Yes, formal season can be stressful but it can also be a great time, the best night of the year, the kind of night that sorority life is made of. You just gotta know what to expect and roll with the punches (even if those punches may or may not include rubbing your date’s back while he pukes over the side of a river boat. Don’t ask.). My suggestions: take a friend to these formals and have fun. Don’t worry about impressing some guy you barely know (or have never previously met….) Make memories with your sisters because those memories are the ones you will want to replay in 10 years… not a sloppy make out with what’s-his-face. Then, when the night is over, post the pics on Facebook immediately so you can re-live the glory with the girls over (a very late and very hungover) breakfast the next morning afternoon.

What is the scene like at YOUR sorority before a formal? Have YOU taken a blind date to a date-function?

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If you have been keeping up on your Greek Speak reading, then you know that last week I let it slip that sometimes there might possibly be teensy, weensy, little bitty cat fights between pledge classes. No big deal and nothing we can’t keep under control. BUT, I might have left out a somewhat important detail; a reason why these catfights happen….

Let’s face it. Sometimes you get a bid to a house and it’s just not a good fit. Hanging out at the house feels uncomfortable, you and your new pledge class just aren’t clicking, you realize Greek life isn’t for you. Bottom line: you hate it and you want out. NOW.

To put you in the stickiest situation, I am going to assume you are a pledge who is not been initiated but has paid your dues (because those often come during the pledge process, when you are part of the house but not officially IN it yet). You’re in an uncomfortable situation… SO uncomfortable you feel like you have drop out. Get over the fact that you’ve been brutally robbed of all the new member fees; those won’t be coming back to you so just forget it and move on. At this point, what you need to be thinking about is how to bow out gracefully, sans a drama-filled and unnecessary scene.

Before I get into that, though, know that girls ducking out before they are officially members of a sorority is not uncommon. There’s a lot you don’t know about being in a sorority until you are actually in one (not even GREEK can teach us everything), so many girls get a taste, realize it’s not for them and quit. It’s totally OK and if you do it right, not a big deal at all.

The trick is doing it right, so let me help you out.

Under any circumstances:

Do NOT go through the initiation process into a sorority unless your whole heart and soul is in it!
If you do, then you will never be eligible to go through recruitment or pledge another sorority, even if you deactivate from that one. You cannot be a member of one sorority, drop out and join another. Yes, that’s a rule and it’s one everyone takes very seriously.

If you’re feeling iffy about the whole thing during the pledge process, stop, reconsider and get out before it’s too late. Slipping out under the radar and without causing a fuss will allow you to rush again the next fall, or even in the spring, and pledge a sorority that fits you better.

Do NOT talk mad-smack about the sorority you dropped out of.
1) Contrary to popular belief, this will not win over the other ‘rival’ sororities on campus.
2) No one, not even stereotypically catty sorority girls, likes a gossip.
3) You have no idea if that “stupid, boring basement ritual” that you hated in your old house is quite similar to the traditions passed down in the new one.

You are already someone’s sloppy seconds (let’s be honest), so start fresh, no strings attached, and play nice. No matter if you’re a freshman rushing for the first time or a sophomore trying to find a better fit, you want to put your best foot forward. Plus, you never know who’s got friends in other houses….

DO try and get to know your pledge class a little better this time around.
Go to more functions, go to the house more often, and spend more time with your big sis/pledge mom. Obvi you are not going to click with every single girl in your new chapter, but you have to try. Be open-minded. As cheesy as it sounds, the more you put into sorority life the more you get out of it.

Making the decision to drop out of a sorority can be tough. My advice? Be honest with yourself and with your pledge class. If you’re not feeling it, then get out before it’s too late. No one expects you to devote your college experience to something that doesn’t fulfill you the way to hoped it would and, trust me, your pledge sisters would rather you duck out then half-ass your time there (because it will have an affect on their experiences too). Just make sure you do it right so this decision doesn’t negatively affect the rest of your time at college!

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…is there a price?

For some, it could be drinking excessively to prove you can keep up with your pledge class. Or maybe it is participating in embarrassing or humiliating acts around campus, to show your dedication to a new group. Kidnappings and road trips? Sure. Taking nude pictures? Alright, if you say so.

It’s true. This semester, new sorority girls at schools across the Southeast found themselves targeted on Facebook by a Lexie Hillbrenner, an alum of their chapter who handpicked them as potential future leaders of their sororities – what great news for any new pledge!

After hours of chatting about majors and backgrounds, Lexie felt as welcoming and friendly as any other sister…so when she asked girls to complete random tasks ranging from reporting the distance between their dorm and the sorority house to what color underwear they were wearing, it didn’t hit too far from home. It’s college and they probably thought, “we’re Greek, and this is just part of getting into the house!”

When Lexie started asking for nude pictures and replying to any objections with threats,  some girls went to campus police. But according to university policies, hazing of any kind is illegal, and people say it doesn’t happen at all. So why didn’t the girls come forward earlier? It’s as if hazing occurs so often that undergraduates can barely recognize it anymore.

“We want to be a part of something and we’re not fully accepted yet – perfect target,” said one of the victims who contacted police at Lexie’s forward request after mentioning it to her mother. But how many new and impressionable freshmen didn’t call home those days and hosted photo shoots with their webcams instead, for the sake of some promise of belonging? With Facebook, there’s no way to tell – even Lexie is “virtually untraceable” according to police officials at Florida State University.

Hazing happens, more often then not – even outside the sorority house and on athletic teams and student clubs.

A red flag shouldn’t go up simply because these students were asked to participate in sexually explicit acts, but because they thought they were being subjected to standard forms of initiation required to “pass the test.”

For future reference, there is no test. Ever.