[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like fandom!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

We’ve all killed a few hours (*cough*Calculus*cough*) imagining that amazing guy that would somehow walk into our lives – you know, the one with the suave of George Clooney, the charm of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the abs of Ryan Kwanten (hello, Jason Stackhouse!) – and magically turn all those microwave-ramen-days into a romantic comedy dream. Turns out though, most of us actually believe he exists.

OK, maybe not quite as awesome as we dreamed, but still, according to a new, poll two-thirds of us believe that our soul mate is out there and that we’ll find him some day.

On the one hand, I totally get that. Assuming that you didn’t spend your formative years as part of a remote tribe in the depths of the Amazon (and probably even if you did), you were probably raised on movies, TV shows and books filled with epic love stories. And if all of those quirky girls can find THE guy who will love them and make life a fairy tale, why shouldn’t someone nice and normal (mumbles) like me be able to do it too. Sure, we realize it’s not going to play out exactly like the movies, but it’s not really the big kiss-in-the-rain-to-the-tune-of-a-Top-4o-love-song scenes that matter, it’s the love. Moreover, those stories always make it seem like the girl who “settles” – who picks a nice, smart, handsome guy who loves her but isn’t “the one” – is making a huge mistake and ruining her happiness forever. No, we’re not all four years-old, we know that all of those tales aren’t real life, but they do on a subconscious level, form our ideas about what love should be. Read More »

Questionita for La Tuff?! Email your questions to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for a chance to be featured in this column.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about two and a half years and although I don’t really believe in soulmates, I can honestly claim that he is mine. I try to think reasonably and tell myself that this can’t be real love but after all this time I still believe that there will never be anyone as right for me as him and that he is the man I want to have a life with.

I never wanted anything serious with the guy. I was only turning seventeen when we started going out and never expected for the whole thing to go so well. Even though I noticed that I had a connection with him that I’ve never had with other guys, I always thought that we could break up over some stupid thing I never thought ahead as far as our relationship went. But then came the “I love you” and the first time (for the both of us) and we got accepted into the same college and things kinda got serious. Those were the happiest two years of my life – we have never had big fights, only insignificant quarrels and I can’t see a single thing about him that would drive me away. Now he wants us to move in together next semester and I realize that I want to live with him, too. Read More »

Burning question? If it’s not gonorrhea, give it to Tuffy! TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So my problem is about a guy. He goes to college with my best friend whom I visit kinda often. Last month, I visited and he was around but we were both with our significant others so I didn’t look at him twice. But this weekend I visited my friend and he was around and neither of our significant others were there. He was going through some sh*t and we talked for a bit.

Now this is where it’s weird. He’s exactly what I always envisioned in a boyfriend. It’s hard to describe – but we’re basically kinda the same person while complementing each other. We stepped out for a smoking break and I feel like we really connected. I know this is insane – I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend and we live in different states – but I just can’t get him out of my head. I did the typical Facebook stalking, but I don’t know what more I can even do, if I should even do anything. I told my best friend but he dismissed it as me being silly. But what if soul mates are real and he’s mine? Would I even be his? Should I start visiting my friend more often? Can I leave a comment on his Facebook? I’m torn.

- Looking for Love Read More »

I was at a bar last night, politely making conversation with a group of guys. They were nice and I was bored. Our drunken conversation soon went from the ‘awesome’ weather to a subject even less interesting: me and my singlehood. I like being single. I’d like to stay this way. Yet, somehow, this is always devastating news to everyone from my family and friends to strangers at a bar.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

The response, “I don’t have one”, must be code for “I have SARS” based on the jaw dropping and disgusted looks that shoot back at me invariably.

So the guys at the bar were appalled. And probably simultaneously delighted because NOW, now they had a license to set me up with their ‘young’ friend…the one closer to my age…the one blushing because he is RIGHT THERE…the one I don’t even find remotely attractive.

And alas, I was yet again playing a game I have played far too many times to count.: The “Gracefully Decline Without Hurting Feelings” Game. I know, I know. I should just always be a bitch. To be honest, often times, I am. However, it’s harder to do this when I have been having a genuinely good conversation with the guy. Or when it’s my best friend who really believes in her gut that the new guy in her office is my soulmate.

The line that got me out of bad emotional karma last night was this one: Read More »

I’m not sold on the idea of having a soulmate. And I’m not NOT sold on it, either. BUT, when a guy refers to me as his “soulmate”, am I out of line to think that he might well, you know, like me as more than a friend? Right. I totally agree. I would not be out of line to think that. So let me tell you a story.

Not all that long ago, I started a romantic fling with a guy who I kinda sorta knew. I wasn’t all that taken into him physically, but emotionally…I couldn’t help it. I mean, I tried not to be, but with every single conversation we had…he baited me with compliments and bathed me in pet names.

He made me mix cds, sent me flowers, wrote me songs, and made me paintings. All within the first three weeks. And I KNOW, this should be a bad sign. I KNOW, these kinds of things should take TIME to develop…but I can’t help it! I like to feel things right away! I’m intense and spontaneous, so maybe I deserve all of the nightmare that is to come with this story.

Anyway, I was under the impression that things were going pretty well. But then he would tell me about dates with other girls. And this was fine. Really, I mean I was, after all, still going on dates with other guys. But then would come the heavily emotional talks until 7am and then the DAYS without talking. The night after he told me that he thought I was his soulmate, we then went four full days without any contact whatsoever. Not even a text. Read More »

One thing we all secretly want when we move somewhere new is to find some new boys to date.

Well, I have some bad news for you guys, New York might be the worst place in the world to find someone to date.

A good friend of mine always says, “Dating in New York should be like being a kid in a candy shop, instead it’s like being a kid in Home Depot. There is all this sh*t and you don’t want any of it.”

Here is a list of places we dream of meeting someone sort of normal…and why this is in fact a dream:

The Bars: No one meets their soulmate at a bar. These might be the best places to find a casual one night stand, but nothing substantial will ever come of it. You’re drunk, he’s drunk, and with beer goggles and bad lighting who cares if he’s attractive?

All you know is he looks good and keeps buying the rounds. The next morning he may still look pretty. This is a good sign your judgement wasn’t totally off so you guys exchange numbers.

Don’t hold your breath for the phone call. It won’t happen.

The Coffee Shop: Your intentions are good. No one is drunk (hopefully), and there is always to distinct possibility that the artsy boy of your dreams will be sitting next to you reading a cool book you’ve never heard of. As you do your work you guys make eyes at each other. Rarely though does this lead to any kind of conversation.

You see, New Yorkers have an issue with pride. They don’t want to be the first ones to make the move because then they will lose precious cool points.

If you guys do talk and hit it off a date could follow. However, be leary of the man who spends his days reading in coffee shops.

You’re probably not the first girl he’s picked up there. Read More »