The wild success of 50 Shades of Grey has inspired this week’s He Said/She Said topic. The “mommy porn” book, which I admittedly have not read, features more than a few steamy sex scenes. Word on the street is that there’s a lot of spanking and hair pulling and chains and whips and excitement. Rihanna would be proud, to say the least. Since everyone and their mother (literally) is reading this page-turner, it’s no surprise that talk of kinky sex has been circulating among groups of friends all over the country. As a matter of fact, we were discussing this very matter in the CollegeCandy/COED offices today.

One major point of contention arose when the subject of spanking was brought up. Some people think it’s degrading, others think it’s a harmless turn-on. Honestly, I don’t see where the problem lies. If I’m in a respectful, mature relationship and my boyfriend/hookup makes moves to smack my butt, I’m going to green-light it. In my opinion, when it comes to the extra bells and whistles — or handcuffs — everything can be good in moderation. After all, you don’t need to be a dominatrix to get in touch with your more adventurous side; just put your game face on and make sure you’re not taking on more than you can handle. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Guy, talking on the phone.)

Guy: Know how you win an argument? You spank ‘em. Can’t nobody argue with a good spank.

(Two girls, browsing in a convenience store.)

Girl 1: Twix?

Girl: 2: Nah. That doesn’t really lubricate my gears.

(Girl, yelling, behind me at a basketball game.)

Girl: No … ! Don’t dribble! Please don’t dribble! If you dribble, it’ll never come back! I’ll never come back! Read More »

CollegeNews.cm ranks the best credit cards for college kids.

So what’s the real story behind Miley’s tat?

Who wears that much makeup to work out?

So this is what happens when Tiger runs out of women….

Mmm. Chris Pine looks good in a suit.

What’s up with the spanking?

It’s no secret among my friends that I like being treated aggressively in the bedroom, but sometimes, I feel like I’m the only girl I know who likes getting roughed up. Perhaps that’s because my sexual propensities really are that rare, but more likely, it’s because a taboo against BDSM still exists.

Rachel Kramer Bussel, who recently wrote on The Frisky about a newly discovered desire to be choked during sex, notes that “Women, especially feminists, aren’t supposed to say they like rough sex … [There's a] misconception that consensual BDSM is a precursor to violence.” That’s something I know all too well. Last year, I blogged about an instance of rough sex on my website, Sex and the Ivy. While my entries often receive mixed reviews (because some disagree with my decision to write publicly about my sex life), I was surprised by the number of commenters who were outraged by this piece. Some of the reactions included: Read More »

Any shared activity among a couple is likely to bring that couple closer together. Hobbies such as painting, gardening, cooking a meal together, or taking a weekly jog together could all romantically benefit relationships. This rule idea applies to couples both in and out of the bedroom where, ironically enough, sadomasochistic (S&M) type of activities are shown to promote bonding.

The New Scientist is reporting that S&M (including spanking, bondage, and flogging), although stressful at first, could bring couples closer together.

In a study, researchers at Northern Illinois University measured the stress hormone cortisol in 13 men and women at an S&M party. “During S&M scenes, cortisol rose significantly in those receiving stimulation, but dropped back to normal within 40 minutes if the scene went well”. At another event, testosterone was measured in 45 men and women and reportedly “increased significantly in receiving women only”. This fluctuation in hormones is understood to help women cope with the stressful nature of the activities.

In both studies, hormone levels returned to normal in couples who enjoyed the experience. The couples who reported the party as a success also “reported an increases in relationship closeness”. These new findings show that “when sexual intercourse is consensual it is not stressful – even if it is extreme sex”.

Not ready for nipple clamps, whips and chains? Don’t worry about it, an activity as simple as cleaning the apartment together could promote closeness withing a couple. Then again, nothing brings a couple closer together than a pair of handcuffs.

Let me broach this very touchy subject with the help of my friend, Mr. Extended Metaphor:

Think about your body as a complex system of roads (sexy, curvy roads).

It’s easier to take the normal route “home”, so to speak, than that scary, deserted back road. After all, you’ve never gone that way, you don’t know what to expect and what should happen, heaven forbid, if your car breaks down?

But what if this mysterious new path is wonderful? What if it gives you the single best drive home of your life? Or even just one or two fairly pleasant trips? It would be a shame to miss out on this lovely new view because of fear or misconceptions.

Misconceptions like: anal sex is only pleasurable to men and women do it only to please their male partners. In reality, the anus is filled with nerve endings and as is says in the Guide to Getting it On (yes, I own a copy), “It seems that the wall between the vagina and rectum may swell when the woman is sexually aroused. This wall might tug on the same verve that transmits vaginal orgasms to the brain.” In other words, women have anal sex for the same reason they have any other kinds of sex (well, ideally): because it feels good. Read More »