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Dear Tuffy Luv,

I dated this guy who I thought was it for 2 years, but I ultimately ended it because he moved away and our relationship became strained and our communications broke down. We planned on seeing where things would go when he came back, but before that happened, we got into a big fight about past things that I thought were non-issues.

We stopped talking for almost a year, but then right before the summer started I began thinking about him more and more. and then ran into him while at his neighbor’s place. We texted each other that day and said that we’re both over all the issues that started the fight. It has been a week since then, and I can’t stop thinking about him. It has caused me to have a lack of sleep, and a lot of stress.

What should I do?

Thanks,
Julie Read More »

I am not good with confrontation. I am, however, quite good at ignoring the situation at hand. If you ignore something long enough, it goes away, right? So far, my theory has been working just fine.

A few months ago, I went on two dates with a perfectly nice guy. There was nothing wrong with him. In fact, on paper, he was very much my type. But the sparks weren’t there and I just wasn’t very excited by him. So, when he called for a third date, I didn’t answer. He called again and I didn’t answer again. I picked up the phone several times to call him back, but then I just didn’t.

I went to my friends for help and they offered a variety of different opinions. Some of my friends said I should just call him and say my schedule suddenly got busy and I didn’t know when I would be free. Some said to call and be honest telling him I just wasn’t feeling it. And some claimed it was OK for me not to return his calls. “He’ll get the point,” they said. “And nobody has to be made uncomfortable.” Not one to make people uncomfortable, I took their advice and continued not calling him.

After attempting one more phone call to me, he got the point and didn’t call again. My life went on. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel like a bad person, but I try to remind myself that I saved us both a great deal of discomfort.

So what that I live in constant fear I could run into him at any point? I took the easy way out and it’s better for now. I’ll worry about seeing him when I see him.

Now excuse me while I hide behind this lamppost.

There’s nothing more exciting than meeting a guy with whom you click. The chemistry is set, the sparks ignite, and the wheels are in motion for what could be an actual, meaningful relationship. For once. However, something I’ve noticed, and my friends have noticed, is a gradual shift just after the beginning stages of courtship. Something happens. Something bad.

When you first meet a guy, he is taken by you. He is wooed. You have wooed him! That’s so Old English of you. But don’t jump on your high horse yet, lady. This is all part of his master plan.

He says, “It’s so refreshing to meet some one like you. I really connect with you. You’re not like all the other girls I’ve met – you’re smart. You’re special.”

This is the stage in which he says he’ll call you at eight o’clock, and he calls you at eight o’clock. Maybe a minute sooner. He asks you out on Monday for a date on Friday. He’s like an eager puppy, and feminists will hate this, but it’s quite empowering. And the best part is, you don’t really care either way – yet. This odd male behavior continues for a while, maybe a month or so. But then, disaster strikes. You start to like him – a lot. And it’s not like he has lost interest, but something has definitely….changed. You were the one sitting high on the seesaw, and now the weight has shifted. Now he’s got the one-up and you’re struggling to reclaim your spot on top (in the most non-sexual way, of course). Read More »