So there’s a lot of things that come to my mind when I think about graduation. There’s the week of senior festivities that takes place before, and the long, relaxing summer that takes place after. There’s caps and gowns and diplomas and awards and speeches. Lots of speeches.

From the president of your college to your valedictorian there will be a lot of people giving your advice on graduation day, but none more important than the allusive commencement speaker. For some schools, this is just another really long, really boring speech. But for a special few  the commencement speech, and the commencement speaker, is actually pretty great. I know if I went to one of these schools I’d actually be listening to my commencement speaker, not falling asleep in my chair.

Uh, not that I plan on doing that anyway…

Y’all are great neighbors, you really are. I enjoy your Solo-cup adorned front lawn. I love your broken air conditioner sitting out back. I enjoy your creative use of Keystones as decorations. But we really must talk about your noise levels.

Now, I’m a college kid too and I also quite enjoy partying from time to time. Thursday night? Yes. Friday night? Sure. Saturday night? Count me in. Monday night at 4am? Not so much.

You guys seem to want to party at all hours, everyday. I might be OK with that if there weren’t all those other problems. I mean, you guys are loud all. the. time. Like that weekend you had music blasting for 72 hours in a row – I’m pretty positive you just let your speakers run for 3 days straight. 3am Wednesday night listening to The Beach Boys? I don’t think you’re having a rager… And, umm, it’s about negative 6 degrees out…do you really find The Beach Boys appropriate?

And what are you thinking playing “Let’s Get It On” at a speaker-breaking volume level? I don’t think any of you are actually getting it on. In fact, I’m pretty sure this would send any girl running, even a highly intoxicated one. So why oh why must the music be on? Doesn’t it annoy you?

I know it annoys me. I also know I have a test in the morning.

And on another note, it’s great that you are so, umm, invested in your brotherhood that you haze until the wee hours of the morning. But when I’m trying to sleep I don’t want to hear your pledges yelling: “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” I don’t want to get used to it. I want to sleep. My window is closed, my head is buried under a pillow and I can still hear your pledges crying.

Please, I beg of you dear neighbors, calm down a little bit. Maybe bring your volume down to like a 2? Or a 4? I’d even take a volume level of 5.6. Please my fratty friends, help me get a complete night of sleep, and maybe you can get some rest too! Win-win situation!

Love,

Sleepless in Syracuse

Want the deets? Read on, my friend.

If there is one thing we at CollegeCandy miss most about actually being in college it’s Welcome Week. (And our parents footing the bills.) 7 full days of debauchery, warm weather and nothing else to do makes for one pretty awesome time.

Want to stay up all night playing Kings and eating Doritos? Go ahead!

Want to pack up the car and take a trip to the beach for the day? Why not?

Want to fill a pool with Jell-O and wrestle around in it while your friends watch and cheer you on? You got nothin’ else goin on..

Sigh.

We want to do those things too, but unfortunately we have to go to “work” and “be adults.” But that doesn’t mean we can’t live vicariously through you lucky ladies (and give away a sweet prize at the same time!). So, we are having a contest.

Send us your best/funniest/most hilarious/ridiculous photos from Welcome Week. (Yeah, including that one of you climbing the school’s famed fountain in your dress.) We will pick our favorites, post ‘em to the site and have the readers vote on which one is the best. If you or your friends don’t wanna see your faces on the interwebs, feel free to block em out. We don’t care; we just wanna pretend like we are right there with you.

If your picture is chosen, you will win a free iHome.

Free.

Sent to you.

To use for those awesome pre-party dance parties. Or to muffle out the sounds of your roommate doing the naughty, naughty.

All entries should be sent to editor@collegecandy.com and must be received by Friday, September 5th at 1:00 PM. We will post our favorites the following Monday and voting will last until Friday, September 12th. Tell your friends. Tell their friends. Just don’t tell your family.

We will announce the winner on the site (picture and all) on Monday, September 15th, at which point we will send your tubular (we are trying to bring that word back) iHome to you.

So chug that beer, grab that camera and enjoy Welcome Week (for us!).

I’m not trying to be a creepy stalker. But, I mean, really; I don’t know a single student – or person, really – on my campus or even enrolled in my school who doesn’t have their own computer. Whether it’s a chunky tank of a desktop or a sleek and sexy notebook, everyone at school has their own computer. It’s not even a luxury anymore; yes, libraries all have computers for your use, but who really solely depends on the library for computer use? No one I know.

Trouble is – and this is the trouble now-a-days with everything – computers are EXPENSIVE. Even the proverbial cost of an arm and a leg will probably only get you a second-hand Dell off of craigslist. Mind you, I’m not knocking the second-hand craigslist computer; I’m typing this up on one of them right now. But if you’re looking for a new compy that can keep up with you, you can expect to be in the hole about $700. Right?

Ladies (and that one gent), let me introduce you to a new friend of mine: computer shows.

My mom and I decided to head down to a computer show last weekend for the heck of it. She needed more RAM and I wanted to see if there was anyone who could fix my poor, mostly dead laptop. So we wandered in and found a guy in the back who was fixing laptops right there. After waiting in line for a few moments, he looked at my mom’s laptop really quick, then gave her a quick estimate on how much updating it would be (a nice $120). He also told me that it would be about $300 to replace my laptop’s broken screen, whereas HP told me that it would cost me around $900 and I might as well just get a new notebook.

I handed that man my laptop and $300 before he could say, “It’ll take me about a week.”

My cousin, who had met us there with my aunt, was all squeals when she found a $50 copy of software that sells for about $400. I bought a nifty wireless mouse for $17.

But the bargains had only just begun.

My mom was looking around for a new laptop for my aunt. We found a couple of really nice guys for a reasonable price of $435, tax included. After a bit of searching, we found the deal of a lifetime; a tablet PC for a measly $425. It was the floor model, so it had a few scratches here and a little dent there.

“I’ll give it to you for $400,” the man behind the table loaded with laptops told us when he saw our faces. He must’ve confused our amazement for skepticism. My mother and I immediately ran down to the ATM, scrounged together the necessary cash, and bought it there and then. We would later find out that the model – a small, adorable little Toshiba Portege M200 – retailed at about $1000.

Convinced yet? You ought to be. I’m not trying to plug anything here; rest assured of that. But with computer hardware and software prices the way they are, I’d feel all but guilty not sharing this diamond in the rough. So if you’re looking for a new laptop, a pair of speakers, or just some cheap software, find out when and where the nearest show is and go.

Oh, and my mom? She kept the tablet laptop for herself and gave my aunt her recently updated laptop. I can’t really blame her.

[Picture credit goes to: gettyimages.com (again)]