We’ll Protect You, Jeremy: A Goodbye to “J. Piv Love Week” at CC

CC Staff — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:40:57 +0000

Since the beginning of our plethora of Piven, a lot of people have come out the woodwork saying how much they agree with us (seriously, fan letters!), but there are also a lot of you out there who are confused. WTF? you’ve been saying, He looks dirty and is probably a douche.

Well, maybe. But if no one will stand up and say “I don’t believe it!” how will our 40-Something fantasy ever shed the assh*le cloak so many have tried to wrap him in? (Like that metaphor? Yeah.) So today, dear readers, we lay to rest our week-long J. Piv love fest with a proclamation: until we find out about him doing something morally reprehensible (like wearing purple satin pants or something), we are proud to call ourselves Piven’s #1 fansite on the web.

We are also giving Piven a chance to be awesome in real life this weekend, when one of your editors will attempt to get student rush tickets (I may be out of college but my ID still works, suckers!) to that new Broadway show he’s starring in. With student rush, one never knows if they’ll be sitting behind a pole in the back of the theater or close enough to get spit on, but if I am close enough…well, J Piv, if you’re reading this (and why wouldn’t you be? We’re you’re #1 fansite!)…I’ll be the redhead who may or may not flash you during curtain call.

Note: I do not have fake boobs, but if you decide to date me, you’ll enhance your reputation threefold, because you’ll be dating a regular person. How can you get more likable than being a famous celebrity dating a regular person? You can’t. Except maybe if you’re this guy.

Double Note: We did not photoshop the picture in this article. Someone did that all by themselves…

[Take a look at a video after the jump that confirms our beliefs that Jeremy is in fact NOT a douche]

G.W.W.E!: Jeremy “Put it In Me” Piven

Lauren - University of Michigan — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 19:10:15 +0000

(In our first ever weekly installment of G.W.W.E [Guys We Want to Eff], we decided to tackle the possibly oily but strangely hot Jeremy Piven.

If you have an expensive cable package, you love him as Ari on Entourage, and if you’ve only got basic, you love him from the small to medium roles he’s played in tons of various movies that were not always good. Now, on with the GWWEeeing…)

Two Sundays ago, the Emmy’s were on. I don’t watch the Emmy’s because they’re boring and everyone is always thanking God — who probably doesn’t give a crap about your little gold statue when there are wars and famines going on all over the globe — but I happened to switch over to it during a commercial break from TLC’s Incredible Medical Mysteries (best show ever. TiVo it NOW).

The part of the snooze-fest I ended up catching was Jeremy Piven‘s heartfelt acceptance speech for his 3rd Emmy for Entourage. And something just…happened. I was inexplicably drawn to his chiseled boyish middle-agedness. My insides got all hot and tingly. There was a need to see what he was rocking underneath that tux.

Maybe it was his fantabulous hair plugs. Or wig. Maybe it was his new cut bod. Maybe he went to a voodoo lady and found a potion to make girls almost 20 years his junior want to eff him. Whatever he did. It worked. I want to eff all 43 years of him.

I only wish the rest of the Internet would jump on the bandwagon and stop skimping my provocative Piven on the web love. As you can clearly see from the picture on the left, there is only one fan page dedicated my new sexy time fantasy, and it is lame. I think it was put up in 1999 and hasn’t changed since. Plus, nowhere on the site does it state “I want to eff Jeremy Piven.” How can you have a fan site and not want to eff the guy?

Apparently, some people think he’s kind of a man-slut who might have a ‘tude, but I can deal with a ‘tude. Especially if the ‘tude comes from a hot guy who’s been practicing yoga for 15 years. So he might be a little in love with himself. What actor isn’t? And maybe he likes models with big fake boobs. I don’t have big fake boobs but I still want to eff him.

Hellllo. Have you seen that trademarked smirk? Most of the time smirks are hot. And Piven’s is no exception.

So yeah. I want to eff Jeremy Piven. And he’s in New York right now. So maybe I can throw on a fake platinum wig and make sh*t happen.

CollegeCandy » speed the plow

We’ll Protect You, Jeremy: A Goodbye to “J. Piv Love Week” at CC

G.W.W.E!: Jeremy “Put it In Me” Piven