The beach is wonderful.  It is the symbol of summer.  In fact, most of my childhood memories of that glorious 3-month-long stretch of nothingness are of living in my swimsuit and being constantly covered in sand with wet hair.  Ah, the good ‘ole days (except when that pesky salt water got in my eyes)…

Now if I want to go to the beach, I have to make plans and gather the accessories (hat? check. sunblock? check. iPod? check….and etc.).  I also have to find a beach near my apartment that isn’t littered with used needles and garbage.  Once I have completed those tasks, I get to lay out in the sun, listen to the waves, feel the breeze, and watch…guys in mandals and thongs walk past.  WTF.

There are some things (okay, a lot of things) that aren’t appropriate for the beach.  For example, socks aren’t appropriate for the beach.  Neither is a leather jacket (OMG can you imagine the amount of sweat?).  However, these things are small beans compared to the catastrophes that I have witnessed by the seaside (or lakeside – whatevs): Read More »

It is pretty obvious that we are obsessed with the Olympics around here. We love the sports, we love the politics and, obviously, we love the men.

Hell, we’d probably even wear those U.S.A. themed Speedo’s if we could get our hands on them (or squeeze our butts into them). But, alas, that is not going to happen. Which is fine because it’s not like we actually want to participate in any events – cuz we got no skills – we just want to show our support.

Yeah, we could probably hang an American flag over our beds or sing the National Anthem at every chance we got, but that’s so boring. We wanna support the U.S. in style, baby. So let’s give a big thanks to our pal Ralph Lauren for creating this awesome Olympic collection.

After designing the outfits worn by the athletes during the Opening Ceremonies, Mr. Polo decided to take his American pride one step further and give the rest of us somethin’ to rock.

Lord knows I love me some popped collars and now I can feel like the athletes without actually having to give up the cookies or run 5,000 laps around a track. Some of it is a bit cheesy, but the rest is chic, wearable and an awesome way to commemorate the occassion.

I’ll be honest; before the Olympics started last week, I didn’t think much of Michael Phelps. I knew he was some amazing swimmer, but who cares about swimming, anyway? In the U.S. it is all about football, baseball and fried foods, baby. And all those people talking about how super duper sexy he was? Yeah, I just didn’t agree.

But then the games began (and Michael put on a swim cap/Speedo) and I began to see what everyone else was talking about. I mean – this guy was looking good. Really good. Like, “I kinda sorta (read: totally) wanna do him” good. He is pretty much as close to perfect as any man can get.

Don’t agree? Here are 5 Reasons Why I Want to Do The Breast Stroke (see how I made a swimming term into something sexual? Yeah, I’m that good) With Michael Phelps:

He’s Got Moves: Maybe it’s just me, but when I watch Phelps dive off the platform and do that little mermaid move….well, I can only think dirty, naughty things. He knows how to use his body well and I have a feeling that little move would work wonders both in and out of the pool.

He Loves His Mama: There is nothing more attractive than a guy who loves his mother. Not only is that the sweetest thing ever, but it means is going to respect you and treat you well, too. Read More »

With every Olympic games comes a slew of controversy, and this year is no exception. First it was the un-inviting of Joey Cheek. Then it was the American Cyclists who offended the Chinese government by showing up with masks on.

And the problems don’t stop there.

Apparently, Speedo is causing quite a stir.

Their newest high tech design, the Speedo LZR Racer, has become the talk of the world. This is more than just a bathing suit; it is a record breaker. Since its introduction to the pool, 13 world records have been broken. All in the Racer.

Surely, that is no coincidence. The suit (designed with help from NASA) repels water, molds the swimmer’s body into a perfectly aerodynamic shape and even helps a bit with buoyency. Those unable to wear the suit (due to endorsements with other companies) are crying foul: their Racer-wearing opponents have an unfair advantage.

If I were a swimmer, I would be pissed off too. But I am not. I am simply a fan and to me there is a much larger issue here…

The fact that this suit covers up…everything.

Seriously; what the hell happened to the itty bitty Speedos of our past? I know that NO ONE wants to see those on some fat old dude on the beach, but BRING THEM BACK. These swimmers are in the best shape possible. I don’t care about records. I care about abs. And I want to see them.

I am not sure I can even justify watching the swimming competitions now. Sure, I want to see my fellow Wolverine, Michael Phelps, bring home 8 Golds, but I want to see him do it in one of these. Is that too much to ask?