Dear BF, I’m Leaving You for the Jonas Brothers

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Dear Boyfriend,

While you were at your frat’s campfire Friday night—I know, triple kegger! How could you not check it out? Life’s too short, bro!—I stayed in and watched “Camp Rock,” Disney Channel’s newest original movie starring The Jonas Brothers.

Let me tell you something; these “bros” are like three Prince Charmings, and you’re still just a frog—a frog with crappy hair gel and a dorm room that constantly smells like Jose Cuervo and dirty underwear.

After the movie, I got to thinking: the JoBros would collectively make a much better boyfriend than you. So without further adieu…

Here are the top 20 reasons why I’d rather date the Jonas Brothers: Read More »


Candy Dish: a Colbert tribute to the late George Carlin

A Colbert tribute to the late George Carlin

Realistic Hollywood sex scene--NSFW

I don't know who has lower standards in this picture

First Kirk Cameron, now the JoBros

I hope "Disaster Movie" parodies itself

Mary-Kate, where's your flair baby?

The final sign of the Apocalypse: a preview of Verne Troyer's sex tape (NSFW)

Kanye needs to calm-ye down

Plan your next Spring Break with the help of Durex


Never Went On “Spring Break”…And Proud Of It!

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For college students everywhere, mid-March means the glorious time to break away from the monotonous second semester daily grind and go buck wild on sunny beaches for a week. Although I participated in most “college-esque” activities; sororities, student organizations, etc, having the stereotypical balls to the wall spring break was something I never did. And now, looking back on it, I’m proud of it.

Trying to convince my conservative parents that spending upwards of $1500-$2000 for a week’s vacation was a hopeless cause. All of my friends would say, “But alcohol is included in the package deal! All you can drink!” Yeah, I’m sure that will be a real selling point. “You see mom, I can binge drink with all that money…”

At the time, I thought I would look back on my college experience and wish I would have splurged on a crazy spring break experience. But now that I am more removed from the situation and college life, I’m actually kind of happy that I didn’t partake. Read More »


Did Someone Say Party?! With Cupcakes?!?

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There’s just something about things blooming, birds chirping, and tank tops that makes me want to write out fancy invitations and say, let’s celebrate!!

Maybe it’s the the non-stop celebrations around this time, i.e. Valentines Day, St. Patty’s Day, Easter, Spring Break (yes, I consider this a holiday)…but even though I didn’t rise from any graves or invent green beer, I’m all about creating a holiday of my very own.

Any excuse I can create to bake sh*t, and get a group of my favorite people into a small room to eat, drink and be merry, I’ll take it.

So if you’re anti-holiday, consider this fun idea an excuse to step away from studying for a minute or an hour (or 24 of ‘em), and chill out, bake, drink mimosas, lick the beaters…etc.

Yes ladies, it’s cupcake time. The whole ritual of baking is calming and though scones are delicious, I prefer my tea/champagne with a cupcake. Why? Because they are God’s gift to man, so enjoy them.

Here are some of my FAV recipes: Read More »


Spring for Break the Right Way

24239838.jpgPumped for Spring Break? Tell me about it! But please — PLEASE — don’t become the next “Girls Gone Wild” victim. Here are a few quick tips to keep your shirt on. It is possible to have fun and be safe and responsible at the same time.

BEFORE YOU GO:

Don’t forget your passport — You will need it even if you go to Mexico for a day. If you don’t have one already, it’s not too late to get one.

Get your work done — Dig your heels in before you leave, so your trip can be a real vacation without work looming.

Make yourself pretty — If you want to be pampered with a manicure or wax job, do it before you go. It may be cheaper while you’re on your trip, but satisfaction is not guaranteed.

Consider different weather and occasions — You might not be on the beach all the time, so prepare some clothes for lounging, going out, and cold/wet weather.

WHILE YOU’RE THERE:

Bring two bathing suits — Have two different types, and don’t go generic. Nothing is worse than seeing another girl wearing the same bathing suit. Also, putting on a damp bathing suit is never a nice feeling. Having two lets you dry one while you wear the other.

Establish a budget — Prevent overspending by coming up with a daily budget. Research costs for food, accommodations, and other expenses in the currency of where you are going, then convert it back into dollars so you know the different rates.

Beware of scams — Even when you book your room, clarify if the price is for the room or per person. Don’t buy items packaged in a box. I once spent 150 Euro on a “Sony camera” in a box holding what turned out to be a bag of sand.

Protect yourself — Don’t accept drinks from strangers and keep a condom in your purse.

If something goes awry, there’s always Advil — so don’t leave that at home either.

The countdown ‘til Spring Break starts today. Prepping now will keep you worry-free later.

Have fun!


Spring Break Hot Spot: Colombia — Just Kidding!

24754878.jpgAs the rest of you are sunning yourselves on some beach in Mexico, I will be heading down to Colombia to write for a travel guidebook for six weeks. “You’re not serious,” you might be saying to me. “What with all the political crises going on?” And I reply simply, “For those reasons exactly — and because I love that country.”

If you don’t understand what’s going on down there, I’ll give you a very brief synopsis followed by an even briefer conclusion.

SYNOPSIS:

The Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) is the strongest Colombian rebel group and for decades has been considered a terrorist group. Despite releasing six hostages through successful negotiations with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez earlier this year, the FARC is responsible for kidnapping and continuing to hold hostage roughly 50 people near or outside Colombia’s border.

Last week, Colombia’s President Alvaro Uribe identified and raided a FARC camp across the Ecuadorean border in a small village called Santa Rosa. Raul Reyes, FARC’s second in command and a crucial member of the FARC group, was killed in the cross-border attack.

The repercussions and implications of this raid have been felt across South America, but namely between Colombia and its neighbors Ecuador and Venezuela. Colombia is breathing a sigh of relief and hopes this marks the end of the FARC’s strength and terrorist antics. Ecuador rightly reacted by ordering thousands of troops to protect its border. Read More »


CITY SPOTLIGHT: Denver

denver_1.jpgI’m all for impromptu vacationing, but it’s nice to be able to plan vacation time and really do your research. So as you all gear up for spring break, summer vacations, or weekend get aways (sometimes surfing CheapTickets.com isn’t a terrible idea, us college students need a break from time to time!) don’t bother doing the research, since we at CollegeCandy already did it for you!!

The first city we are spotlighting is Denver, Colorado. We all know Colorado for it’s skiing and swanky mountain towns, but the city…though quaint- is amazing. Therefore, we should give it more play. Print this out, take it with you, GO EXPLORE!!

Naturally, I must start with food: Read More »


Spring Music Preview: 3 New Albums You MUST Have

23850835.jpgSpring means a lotta things: the runways are aflutter with new collections and we can finally stow our dowdy winter gear in the closet and start rocking fresher duds, just in time for the requisite mid-year debauchery of Spring Break.

Flowers are in bloom, the sun is peeping, and love is hanging in the air with the sly promise of an unfinished flirt session. We’re all ready to turn new leaves with the season, and if we’re going to do it in style, we’re going to need a really good soundtrack.

With the music-festival craziness of SXSW coming up in a few weeks, there’s a bonanza of new spring albums to choose from. Here are three cherry picks from three phenomenally talented women, just in time to usher in a truly dreamy springtime.

Naked Acid Valet: Naked Acid

Valet is Honey Owens, a California transplant who’s been a legendary figure in the Portland, Oregon experimental music scene for almost a decade now. She’s lent her blonde elegance and burnout guitar riffs to projects like the legendary drone outfit Jackie-O Motherfucker — not to mention World, Nudge, Dark Yoga (yes, that’s a real band), and the newly-formed Atlas Sound. Not only that, but she’s got amazing style and co-owns one of Portland’s most unique boutiques of vintage gear, Rad Summer.

The amazingly-titled Naked Acid will totally save you the trouble of ever dabbling in the titular drug: it will blow your mind with its snakelike guitar work, the seemingly endless layers of delay-laced chanting, and the semi-conscious, gauzy tones of Owens’ whispery voice. Read More »


A Good Reason to Eat Whole Grains: You’ll Lose Belly Fat!

24221480.jpgLet’s banish this idea once and for all: Carbs are not the devil! Although past fad diets like Atkins dwell on depriving yourself of carbohydrates, other healthy diet lifestyles such as Weight Watchers insist that it’s okay to include carbs in your diet, as long as they’re the right kinds (even the Skinny Bitch lifestyle includes yummy carbs!).

Often, whole grains get lumped into the scary carbohydrate category and people are hesitant to include them in their diets. Well, a new study should completely put your fears to rest and even encourage you to factor them back into your daily intake.

Researchers at Penn State found that people who trimmed calories and increased their whole-grain intake shed more belly fat. In comparison, dieters in the study who mainly ate refined grains, like white bread, were able to lose weight, but they trimmed less fat from the middle.

So, here are just a few of my favorite whole grain snacks and foods that are quick and easy to eat in between classes and extracurriculars…

Read More »


Vegas Vacation 2008, Baby!

vegas.jpgYou’ve seen the commercials. What happens in Vegas stays there, but damn if you won’t come home with some phenomenal stories. Whether you’re planning senior year spring break or a post-graduation celebration trip away, Las Vegas will show you a good time without breaking the bank.

Essentials for Your Vegas ’08 Trip

1)Cash

2)Group of girlfriends you won’t need to keep on a kiddie leash/babysit at the bar

3)3 nights’ worth of cute little dresses

4)Your A-game

5)An open mind

How to do it on the cheap?

Paris Hilton herself has said that Vegas can only be done for about 4 days. Your flight could easily be the most expensive portion of this little adventure. Hotels are constantly giving deals to pull crowds to the casinos, so you can even stay on the strip pretty reasonably, especially if you’re staying with a group of 4 or more. Read More »