The 5 Best Drinking Holidays

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How’s your Easter turning out? Did you celebrate with some mimosas this morning? Or perhaps you’re planning on a little red wine with dinner? I know there aren’t too many drinking opportunities on Easter, but that shouldn’t stop you. After all that’s what holidays are made for… er, well, kind of.

Maybe Easter doesn’t mean kegs, and shots and bar crawls to you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t celebrate with a well deserved buzz. Get creative, people!

Anyway, I started thinking about holidays and how sometimes they just seem to be made for partying. I’m not talking about the holidays that are all about family (although a little peppermint Schnapps in my hot chocolate sure seems to make Christmas a little merrier at my house). No, I’m talking about the holidays that seem to be created around the drink. The ones that aren’t worth celebrating without something frosty and soothing. The ones where I don’t know what I’m celebrating, but I definitely am happy to celebrate. These are the drinking holidays, and I have listed the top 5 for you below. Read More »

The Pissed List: Conspiracy Theories and Irresponsible Treasury Secretaries

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[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

When people preface an offensive comment with “no offense”: As in “No offense, but that dress makes you look fat,” or “No offense, but I think you are an incompetent tool.” See? It’s not a get-out-of-jail-free card. Some discretion should still be used when offering constructive criticism or an alternative p.o.v. If you’re going to insult someone, do it the right way: screaming it at the top of your lungs while dousing them with the nearest, most stain inducing liquid you can find. Don’t hide behind backhanded disclaimers. Read More »

Senioritis: No More Drinking Holidays

senioritis1Everything gets celebrated in college. No hook-up is too insignificant for an all day brunch recap and no detagging decision is too trivial to not involve all your friends. So it only gets crazier when it’s actually a nationally recognized holiday.

This year I celebrated my first and last St. Patrick’s day at college. Every other year I’ve been home on Spring break doing Irish Car bombs by myself while simultaneously stuffing corned beef in my mouth with my bare hands.

Because it’s a college holiday we chose to wake up before sunrise in order to start drinking as soon as possible. Before I could even wipe the sleep from my eyes and mop the drool off of my mouth someone was shoving beer down my throat. I brushed my teeth with Guinesss, washed my face with four-leaf clovers and started my day. Read More »

The Weekly Wrap Up: What a Freaking Week!

tired_baby-whew.jpgBig week. Huge.

First was St. Patrick’s Day. Then we spoke to both the Millionaire Matchmaker and last year’s Top Chef, Stephanie Izard (who are both much better female role models than some people out there). Then March Madness kicked off?

And we can’t possibly forget the brand spanking new CollegeCandy.com design. Hollerrrr.

We were so busy we barely had time to breathe, let alone sit at home and waste time online. It’s a good thing we have a giant purse; no need to stop at home when we can load everything from our books to our lip gloss in there. Although it might have been a good idea to leave the phone at home when we were out drinkin’ it up in honor of St. Pat. Drunk texts? Almost as awkward as waking up next to the weirdest guy ever.

Unfortch, the week wasn’t all good. Between all the fun we came to the realization that we have no future, that guys tell each other some intimate details, that Brazilians are going bye-bye, and that everyone’s boobs are growing but ours.

We also witnessed some seriously annoying couples on the way to class, and got stuck paying half the bill when we were out with a new guy. WTF?

We’ve been running on adrenaline since Sunday, which means a Friday night in bed. Movie night, anyone?

The Mortifying Makeout

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After spending a good chunk of yesterday in a dark, dingy basement bar with no windows, I started thinking.

Thought #1: I’m never drinking again

Thought #2: This bathroom floor is far to gross to lay on while I attempt to rid my stomach of too many green sharkbowls.

Thought #3: Wow, that dude I made out with was really gross. Who knew I had a thing for long beards and mohawks when I’m drunk?!

Thought #4: PIZZAAAAAAA.

Alcohol makes us do some pretty stupid things. Like peeing in public places, flashing people (yes, I saw a girl doing that…at a restaurant), and finding the most unattractive of people simply irresistible. Read More »

St. Patty’s Day And Class? It’s Possible!

class.jpgHappy day, St. Pat!

While many of us are planning on a fun, long day of celebrating with a little juice o’ the Irish, others of us (myself included) will be stuck in classes that we can’t miss, because part of our grade rides on attendance. So if you absolutely HAVE to go to class today, don’t give up the celebration!

Follow these tips and you can have your green beer and drink it too:

Don’t drink IN class – Even if you’ve got vodka in your water bottle or Malibu mixed into your bottle of OJ, it’s definitely not a good idea. Wait until class lets out before you attempt to catch up with your class-less friends.

Stop drinking at least an hour before class – I know this is difficult, being that you only have 18 hours of drinking to do, but you need to be at least somewhat sober when you walk into the classroom, unless you want to be stumbling over desks and chairs, or saying really stupid things (“Sorry, I’m too wasted to answer that one, sir.) to the prof.

Sit in the back and stay quiet – Unless you’ve completely sobered up at this point, you probably should keep your mouth shut so you don’t end up slurring your words when trying to answer the professor’s question. Plus, the further back in the classroom you sit, the lower your chances are of having your prof smell the beer seeping through your pores. Read More »

We’ve All Been There: St. Patty’s Day

st-pats.jpgYou set your alarm for 6:00 AM. You haven’t seen the clock that early since your high school days. Unlike your high school days, though, you don’t hit snooze 5 times. In fact, you shoot out of bed, excited for the day to come.

You shower and dress yourself in your cutest green outfit (that you laid out last night) before heading out with the roommates to get in line for Kegs & Eggs (and a free t-shirt!) at one of the campus Pubs.

By the time 8am rolls around, you are chugging an Irish Car Bomb. By 8:30, your tongue is a bright shade of green, which you show off in the 26 selfies you take with your roommate.

The scene at the first bar gets old after awhile, so you grab your friends and move on. You stumble down the street en route to a house party giving a “Woohoo!” and high five/hug to every other St. Patrick’s Day celebrator on the street. You stop and heckle that kid who is clearly going to class. “What is wrong with you?! It’s OUR holiday!!”  You run into someone dressed as a Leprechaun and make him take a picture with you. (And think to yourself, “I’ll just tag him as Random Leprechaun Dude.”)

When you finally make your way to the party, you immediately hop on a team for green flip cup. Another Leprechaun Dude fills the cups with beer, but it looks different than the stuff you had at the bar. You soon find out that green beer is expensive, so these guys made it themselves by mixing food coloring into the cups/pitchers. Read More »

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

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From all of us at CollegeCandy, have a lovely/rockin’ St. Patty’s Day! Just don’t forget the rules.

Weekly Wrap Up: At Least There is No Steam Coming Out of Our Vajay.

tired_baby-whew.jpgOMG. We are so. effing. tired. What a freaking week.

Somehow we managed to stay up way too late every night and we still feel like we accomplished nothing. Maybe that’s because we’re women and we are never satisfied. Or maybe it’s because between consuming large quantities of the best snack ever and trying some new ways to get healthy, we didn’t have time for the important stuff.

Like shopping for some new spring clothes (or making em!), or picking up the Kelly Clarkson Album. Or running to Whole Foods to stock up on makeup that isn’t toxic. Or attempting to change that guy into someone who does want a relationship.

But the week wasn’t a total wash. We learned a bit about hazing, picked up some awesome threads in grandma’s closet, learned how to cook, and planned a SIIIICK St. Patty’s day party. Without green beer. And we invited the boy we heart. Woot!

Oh, and we got tested. That was fun. Ok, it wasn’t too bad. I mean, at least we don’t have this girl’s problem.

The CC Weekly Weigh In: St. Patrick’s Day Nightmares

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Kids have Christmas. Lovers have Valentine’s Day. Presidents have President’s day. What do we, the college students of the world, have?

St. Patrick’s day! Woooohooo!!

Only 4 more days until our favorite holiday of the year! Friends! Drinking Games! Kegs and eggs! A full day of debauchery! (Note: different from normal college weekends by the addition of green clothing.) The combination of costumes, Irish music, bar specials and friends makes this the best day of the year. And we won’t let anyone or anything take it away from us.

The CollegeCandy writers weighed in this week on their worst St. Patrick’s day nightmares, real or imagined. We tried to have them tell us their favorite memories, but most people can’t remember St. Patty’s Days of the past for some reason. Weird. Read More »