St. Patrick is definitely up there on my list of favorite saints. He’s the patron saint of my distant homeland, he rid it of snakes, and he is the most notable Catholic advocate of excessive drinking. In fact he might be the only. And in even more fact, he might not condone alcohol at all. But either way, when I wake up every March 17^th, it is with eager anticipation for a very long day of alcoholic beverages.

For college students across our great nation (and hopefully Ireland), St. Patrick’s Day is the ultimate example of turning an otherwise mundane holiday into a massive excuse to drink a lot of beer. However, if I know St. Patrick (and I like to think I do, as I went to CCD every Sunday until I was confirmed) there are def some Do’s and Don’ts for his high holy day.

DO: Wake up bright and early to celebrate the most wonderful college holiday of life. Even if you need to go home and go back to sleep (or chug some green food-colored Red Bull), it is imperative that you wake up by 7 am and wait in line to get banded. If you have an incredibly doting boyfriend, someone who owes you a huge favor or access to fraternity pledges, even better; they can wait in line for you while you get in some practice time for green beer keg stands. Why begin your long day of drinking so early? Because many other Irish (or pretend Irish) revelers have the same brilliant idea, and the line at your fave campus bar will only get more and more massive  as the day goes on. Additionally, the brilliant owners of said bar have probably caught onto this trend and will be charging increased admission by the hour as the late risers, class-attenders , and the generally slow people who didn’t yet realize it was March 17^th trickle in for some Irish Car Bombs. Even if you have to start celebrating St. Patty’s at midnight the night before and stumble into a cab at 6, wake.up.early. Read More »

This morning, when my Michigan / OSU weekend hangover finally went away, I came downstairs and found my roommates laying around the living room drinking coffee and sharing stories from their weekend escapades. Note: any normal person would assume we all would know these stories since we spent the weekend together, but it was Michigan / OSU weekend…. Without my digital camera I would have no idea what happened.

It turns out that, while in bed, my roommate’s boyfriend, drunk as a skunk (yes, I just used that phrase) made an interesting request. Anal sex.

Now, this topic may not be as taboo as it used to – perhaps we can thank Brokeback Mountain for that? – but it is still a topic I would rather leave to the porn stars than bring into my bedroom. In fact, I am constantly wondering why so many guys make the request to begin with. I get that it may feel “better.” I also can see how it will really spice up a boring sex life (to which I must respond, “So will doing it in the shower.”).

But after asking around, I confirmed my suspicions as to the real reason: the story… Read More »