As girls, there’s one itty bitty thing that got screwed up in our chromosomes.  Any time we see a slightly attractive male we automatically throw ourselves in their direction like a piece of freakin’ meat.  We instantly get big, googly eyes, say things that we should be keeping to ourselves, and completely freak the eff out our potential soul mate.

It’s hard to remember that guys, unlike us, aren’t very complicated specimens. They typically have one thing running through their minds when they meet us (hint: it starts with an “s” and ends in “ex”), while we already have the wedding and future children’s names picked out by the time introductions are over.

We’re hopeless.  Hopeless romantics, that is.  We want a love like “The Notebook,” but it usually ends up looking more like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”…without the happily ever after.

Let’s not let Matthew McConaughey’s beautifully sculpted abs get away from us this time.  No, don’t tie your man down and lock him in your closet (unless he’s into that sort of thing).  All you have to do is avoid scaring him away. Easy, right?

Here are four things you should avoid if you want your happily ever after. Read More »

Aunt Tuffy is back from vacation! For answerinos to your questioninos (or, at least the ones to which La Tuff chooses to respond), email TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Before I got into grad school I met this girl during my senior year of college. She was a freshmen and had a boyfriend. I had got out of bad thing about 8 month earlier, so I was in no rush. Well the more I avoided this girl the more I ran into her; it was almost like fate. Eventually we become good friends. Almost near the end of the semester we got we close. One night she stayed at my house and I gave up my bed and I slept on the couch. She told me I could stay with her but I said, “you got a BF.” She said she broke up with him months ago. So I reluctantly laid in the bed with her cuz I didn’t want to start anything. Well, I woke in the middle of the night and she was staring into my eyes. Something in me told me to push forward and it was okay. I kissed her and she kissed me right back. Eventually we started going out.

I messed up soon enough. I lied about being some place I wasn’t. She got pissed and didn’t talk to me for a week. When she finally called me I told her I loved her and I understood if she was done with me. But she said she loved me too and it was her first time really ever being in love and her first time saying it and meaning it.

But then another terror strikes. I got robbed by someone who I thought knew me. I was afraid to tell anyone. It caught up with me one night when I was walking back at 2 am to her room from the lab. I saw the guy again and freaked out and jetted to her room and told her. We called the cops and for two weeks they harassed me about it. Finally they said they had enough evidence to say I was lying. They arrested me and she bailed me out of jail. I got heat about from my parents and the eventually she broke up with me and said we needed time apart to do our thing, but she said I will always be in her heart. Read More »

As a college senior, I’ve done my fair share of…er…personal research when it comes to hooking up. From that first makeout session in the corner of a very sweaty frat party to my most recent jaunts with some super fine grad students, I’ve dedicated myself to my work. And while my former naive self thought that college boys were like the punch they serve at frat parties (i.e. you never know what you’re gonna get but it’s gonna be good), what I’ve actually found is quite the contrary.

There are actually only 7 types of college hook ups.

And it doesn’t matter where you go to school or who you fraternize with, every girl on every campus will at one point (or many points, you saucy minx!) find herself in bed with one of theses:

1. The Bro:
This fellow is all brawn and no brains and secretly has watched more episodes of ‘The Hills’ than you have.  Not that I’m going to say that this is a problem, but the things he whispers in your ear the whole night make you wonder how many times he has Googled the transcripts from all of the porn movies he owns.  He gives you an awkward-fest drive home in his Tahoe while he listens to Trick Daddy and checks out his reflection in the rear view mirror to make sure his collar is still perfectly popped. You wonder where he keeps his lacrosse stick, because you want to hit yourself upside the head with it. Read More »

With the start of a new quarter comes the excitement of new classes and a new schedule. And new TAs. While my friends are frantically researching classes that both fill their requirements and leave Friday open, I’m zoning out at my desk dreaming (and praying) about a tall, handsome, smart, romantic, witty discussion leader.

One that I’ve never, ever had the pleasure of having.
I have, however, encountered a creepy TA that just would not go away, which seems to be more the norm than the exception. Here is my story:

I was a cute and innocent little freshman when this all went down. The grad student, let’s call him Jeff, was TA-ing for one of my history classes winter quarter. I’m a history major and have a natural love of history and hearing my own voice, so I was basically the ONLY person that ever said anything in section. But I always felt creeped out when Jeff looked at me. Especially those few times I wasn’t saying anything at all. I could see in his face that he wasn’t looking at me as the brilliant history mind that I (thought I) was; it was obvious he was thinking things a little – ew – naughtier. Being young and naive, I brushed it off and pulled an A in the class. Probably much easier than I should have.

The very next quarter – lucky me! – he was my section leader again. Awesome. The quarter went by pretty much the same as the one before it. And again, I pulled a very easy A. Read More »

Every week, I write College Candy’s “Weekly Ten” about whatever the hard-hitting, relevant issues of the week are.

Obviously.

This week, I’ve decided to focus my Weekly Ten on my Top 10 Facebook Pet Peeves. Because it doesn’t get more relevant or hard-hitting than that.

10. Status updates all the time.
Seriously? Facebook (even though they’re trying really hard to be) is NOT Twitter. Get that shiz outta my news feed. You’re clogging it up.

9. Constant profile picture changes.
Okay, so I might be a little guilty of this one. However, when you’re changing your profile picture more than your underwear (people like that exist, I know it…), it’s time to reevaluate your life.

Special Mention: Annoying peace-sign-and-pouty-lips profile picture. Doubly worse if the picture is taken with MacBook’s photo booth. Triply worse if you’re wearing giant sunglasses. If there’s a small dog or a Coach bag in the picture? Do everyone a favor and just delete your whole profile. Read More »

You’ve done some crazy things in your love lifetime:

Sleeping with your cell phone near your head as you wait for that boy to call.
Googling him to find out his interests…and then getting interested in professional hot dog eating yourself.
Eating only half of your burger when you could have eaten the whole thing and the fries so he didn’t think you were a heffer.

We get it. No biggie. Especially when you compare yourself to the real crazies out there:

The Sperm Jacker
Askmen.com recently warned their readers to beware of this crazy woman. The sperm-jacker is a woman who has neglected having children to focus on her career. When she starts to hear her biological clock ticking, she decides it is time to get pregnant. She goes out to a bar to find a man who will (seemingly) be able to provide for offspring, beds him, and then “accidently on purpose” gets pregnant.

The Marriage Trapper
We all know who this girl is – she wants her boyfriend to commit and his bachelor-ass doesn’t want to. Solution: get pregnant. This girl will get off the pill behind her boyfriend’s back or poke holes in his condoms when he’s not looking in order to get pregnant and force him to marry her. Some women go to even more desperate measures (yes, it does get more desperate than that!), and have sex with someone else to get pregnant and claim it’s their boyfriends. Too bad that plan didn’t work out so well for this woman, whose boyfriend had had a vasectomy that she didn’t know about. Read More »

Should Greg Paulus switch teams and head to Michigan?

Miranda Tozier-Robbins can’t seem to leave Britney alone.

Don’t let the recession put a wrinkle in your beauty budget.

Dina Lohan takes credit for Lindsay’s video.

Oprah Tweets!

Have an endless summer in your own backyard.

Warner Bros. is going to be sued by Batman.

Calling all men! Hurry, we need your sperm!

McCain hip and cool on The Tonight Show.

Paula Abdul now has no more fans.

Fashion trends are always improving. Winter ’08 is no different.

Does Lindsay Lohan really like Obama? Or is that just a front?

Clutches are to die for. The new Bond Girl has risked her life for sexiness.

Warner Bros. is going to be sued by Batman.

Cosmo has the scoop on noteworthy sex trends.

Gmail is rocking my world, again.

Obama in the name of love.

Facebook is an addiction for some, well, most people I know (including myself). I am on there at least three times a day and I am an avid FB stalker. Yes, I admit it, a stalker. I stalk my friends, my boyfriend, people I haven’t seen in 10 years, I sometimes even stalk strangers.

Everyone has FB stalked at one point in their life, so why haven’t you learned? If you look at peoples’ pages you never met, do you actually think strangers are not looking at yours? It is all about the privacy ladies and gentlemen. Enable those privacy settings!

All of this Facebook talk stems from stories that have hit the news in the past two days. Maybe you have heard of the victims– Caitlin Davis, a cheerleader for the New England Patriots, and Buck Burnette, a center from the Texas Longhorns. Both Caitlin and Buck are under 22 years old and their lives have potentially been ruined because of our glorious Facebook. I couldn’t even imagine. Read More »

I mean, Instant Messenger has been around forever. Remember those days in high school, when you would tell your parents “you just don’t understand!” and then stomp up to your room and begin to IM 20 friends at once, bitching about how your parents just didn’t understand?

Or how about Freshman year in college when you somehow managed to get your crush’s AIM name, and then proceeded to sit over the keyboard for hours, sweating about if IMing him and “just saying hi” would somehow make you a creepy stalker?

If you’re in my generation, you grew up with AIM, just like you grew up with boy bands and obesity. Growing up with AIM means that we’re all too familiar with the “Away Message”, a strange societal habit of TMI. Even though Away Messages tend to vacillate, there are a few that pop up time and time again. Below, we’ve captured the top 5 familiar few. Read More »