I mean, Instant Messenger has been around forever. Remember those days in high school, when you would tell your parents “you just don’t understand!” and then stomp up to your room and begin to IM 20 friends at once, bitching about how your parents just didn’t understand?

Or how about Freshman year in college when you somehow managed to get your crush’s AIM name, and then proceeded to sit over the keyboard for hours, sweating about if IMing him and “just saying hi” would somehow make you a creepy stalker?

If you’re in my generation, you grew up with AIM, just like you grew up with boy bands and obesity. Growing up with AIM means that we’re all too familiar with the “Away Message”, a strange societal habit of TMI. Even though Away Messages tend to vacillate, there are a few that pop up time and time again. Below, we’ve captured the top 5 familiar few. Read More »

I love my Mom. I really do. She reads this site periodically so I REALLY LOVE HER…but, there are lots of ways in which we’re different. I won’t grow up to be like her. It’s just not possible. We’re not alike. I mean it. We’re not.

…But then of course, I think about it, and realize there are ways I am slowly turning into my mother – even though I basically made a blood pact with myself such a thing would never happen.

5) I talk to the TV / movie screen

To this day, one of the most annoying things my mom can do in my presence is talk through a TV show or movie. Either she’s explaining to the room how stupid something is, or she’s asking questions that she wouldn’t have to ask if she would just LISTEN in the first place (“what’s happening here? Why is he like that?”). We have gotten into huge, giant fights about this habit of hers, and the one time I told her to be quiet in a rather nasty tone she got so pissed I thought she was going to set me on fire.

So yeah, I hate this habit of hers when she’s around, but when I’m alone or with friends…I freaking do the exact same thing. I don’t understand it. It’s like I’m compelled to slip snarky comments into the dialogue everyone’s trying so hard to hear. It’s horrible. I can’t stop.

4) I shop at Ann Taylor

When I was younger, and my mom would bring me to the mall, we’d always have to walk inside this bevy of sensible dresses and cashmere cardigans. The pastels would immediately make me feel like I needed to take a nap, and even my mother’s excited yelps of, “they have petites!” could not convince me to spend money there.

However, just the other day, I found myself drawn to the windows of this store, and then pulled inside, by the very same cardigans that used to make me want to vomit boredom. Plus…they have petites. Read More »

I have never really been good at the whole dating thing. Well, maybe not dating – I rock on first dates and have been told by many a-man that I am quite the kisser — more the patience part of it. I have a tendency to get super excited, super soon. A common case of falling too hard, too fast. I sit by my phone/computer willing the boy to communicate with me in some way.

An IM?

A text?

Something.

And when it doesn’t happen, I jump into action. A cute text message here. A hilariously witty email there. I am not being crazy or stalkerish; I am just being cute. Giving him something to fall in love with.

I never really questioned my actions (even though every book on earth tells you to play hard to get) until I found myself on the receiving end of the “cuteness.” I met a guy online and began IMing with him. We had some good conversations through AIM, so when he asked me for my digits a few days later I obliged.

So, he called. And he called again. And he texted. And he sent me Facebook messages, IMs, emails, more texts. They were clearly attempts at being cute (“We are in a fight”, “Did you forget about me?”), without success. They were not funny or witty; if anything, they made him look completely pathetic. Did he have nothing better to do than sit around and wait for me to call? Didn’t he have friends, or something else to occupy his time? Read More »

Last time: pig vagina and nausea.

This episode: 12 people remain. Everyone makes it sound like the competition is really serious but they’ve been there for like 4 days so I don’t believe them. Tila leaves a bowl of questions out for everyone to answer. Shockingly, all of the questions are sex related. Until the MTV writers throw in a question about gay marriage and Chad is against it and “a child deserves a father.” Oof, shut up. You’re losing your sexy, Chad.

Challenge for the day: who can ride it better? Ugh, scary. Backyard Bi-nanza. Quit it already with these competition names. So they are riding mechanical bulls. The teams are mixed up because the girls keep beating the guys. Apparently Sirbrina rides mechanical bulls for a living because she works at a bar and I need to rethink my career choices. Read More »

During the first couple of blogs in this series, some people were a bit miffed at our “judgemental” and “harsh” treatment of the creator of a certain Missed Connection. Here at CC, we thought he exhibited Type A Stalker Behavior. Other people thought he was just a misunderstood guy who wasn’t quite up to date on how to use an exclamation point.

All differences aside (aren’t they what makes the world go around, anyway? Of course!), I believe those Nice Guy Vigilantes will have a hard time saying stuff about this recent CL Posting.

This post comes from a 63 year old M4W in Long Island. It’s titled “Little One“.

Are you creeped out yet? You should be.

“I am still disappointed that we couldn’t get it together last Fall.”

Really? Still disappointed? It’s Spring, dude. You’ve been feeling disappointed for 7 months about a liaison that happened last Fall? Let me flip through my Weird Stalker Dictionary and see if this…ah, yes! Right here. It says you should MOVE ON.

“Your behind could have been hot and red all this time.” Read More »

In our first installment of Craigslist Is Full of F&%cking Weird People, we have a Missed Connection entitled “Angels & Butterflys – m4w”.

And so. We start off with a spelling mistake.

I can’t believe I am even doing this, I doubt very much you would ever in a million years even look here! However, I have nothing to lose at all!

I see that you like exclamation points, sir. This is fine, but may I remind you that exclamation points often times make it seem like you are YELLING. Much like CAPS. You seem very EXCITED that your girl won’t ever see this IN A MILLION YEARS. You also HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE AT ALL. …Except maybe dignity. And your voice. From yelling so much.

We grew up together over various summers, seperated for 25 + years, then you fell into my lap over this past summer once again.

Your choice of words makes it seem like this chick actually fell into your lap. Was she drunk?

We had a great time in September, and a few other times during the MLB playoffs. Then things hit the fan as a result of emails and all – all my fault!

Perhaps she was drunk whenever you two hung out, and after you started sending her stalkerish emails, she freaked and ran away. Read More »

He didn’t look like a stalker. He looked like a nice, well-mannered twentysomething with a fashion sense that lurched toward the emo.

He didn’t sound like a stalker, either. He sounded nice, and friendly, and totally easygoing.

But even as I walked into the coffee shop and saw the sleek blond hair, the stylish hipster belt, and the anti-used-car-salesman smile of a nice-looking 23-year-old, there was still a little part of me that feared I was meeting with a middle-aged alcoholic in (a really good) disguise.

He was polite, funny, interesting, and sweet. He knew that the idea of dating someone I had met online scared me, so he did everything he could think of to make me feel more at ease. He opened car doors for me, he knew how to cook, he wasn’t messy, and he kissed exactly like how the guys in my Prince Charming dreams always have.

Thanks to OKCupid, my life had become one big Kodak moment—one big temporary Kodak moment, that is. I was scheduled to leave in three weeks for a semester abroad in China, and I wasn’t about to turn down any guys who’d offer to take me out for dumplings and tea there just because of some contrived connection I had with a dude I’d met online at home.

I sat Danny down a week before I was scheduled to leave. “I have to be single when I go to China,” I said.

“I completely understand,” he answered. “That’s fine.”

I got on the plane feeling great. Then I found out that as soon as I’d left, Danny ran out and bought a wall calendar and a thick red marker. “What’d you do that for?” I asked. Read More »

For once, Brad Pitt is all over the news!

First, he complains about getting old, fat, wrinkly and ugly and then he’s on the cover of a magazine looking like this.

Ya, okay Brad. You’re totally hideous. You’re so gross-looking I could just…..I could just viciously make out with you.

As we speak, Brad is cuddling up with that whatshername gf of his somewhere in NYC and the two of them are just being all beastly together after some crazy stalker fan “launched herself” at him on a red carpet recently. Who’d wanna, like, touch that guy? Yuck. AND he’s also been talking recently about having yet another kid with whatshername, so now the disgusting couple can add another ass-ugly baby to the family.

Just what we need, more of Brad Pitt’s tainted unattractiveness.

BTW, totally kidding. Not about the making out part, but everything else.

See Brad Pitt pics after the jump. Read More »

This video is mad funny. A supermodel is made to believe she has a stalker, and the rest, well you just have to see for yourself.

Super Model Naked Stalker Prank – Click Here for more great videos and pictures!